You Didn’t Fail

Summary: Atreyu feels guilt for his perceived failure, even though Fantasia has been restored

Warning(s): Mild, cathartic spanking of a preteen; spoilers for the movie The Neverending Story; some references to violence and character death; AU

Author’s Note: The Neverending Story is an old film, so just to refresh your memory if you have seen it and don’t remember much:

Cairon: The herald of the Childlike Empress and the one who sends Atreyu on the quest in the first place

Atreyu: The eleven-year-old warrior from the plainspeople who goes on the quest with his horse, Artax, to find a cure for the Childlike Empress’ illness.

I also deliberately changed the stakes as they appeared in the movie. Everything taken by the Nothing has come back as if nothing changed (at least physically), but those injured or killed haven’t magically recovered.

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Cairon didn’t really remember much of being consumed by the Nothing. It hadn’t been like death, at least not the way he understood it. It had just been…well, nothing. Non-existence. And that had been the scariest thing about it all.

The past several days had been busy. The Childlike Empress was healthy and recovering, but there were a lot of people who needed reassurance. A lot of the people in Fantasia were traumatised by their experience. And while those who had been consumed by the Nothing had been brought back as if nothing had happened, those who had been injured or even killed in other ways hadn’t been healed or brought back to life.

Atreyu had been staying in the Ivory Tower as he recovered, at least physically. Cairon had made sure one of the healers stayed in the tower to check on the young warrior, even as the others travelled all around Fantasia to help those hurt physically and emotionally by the work of the Nothing.

The reports Cairon had received from the healers and ambassadors sent to the different countries of Fantasia made it clear that the people and land were healing, albeit slowly. The Childlike Empress had already made arrangements to travel around Fantasia and see the people once everyone in the Ivory Tower had recovered, at least to the extent they were able to.

He knew the Empress was worried about Atreyu. The boy warrior was clearly miserable, hiding out in the room he’d been given in the tower. He only ever spoke to the Childlike Empress; and even then, it was only sparingly.

He might have left Atreyu to recover emotionally on his own, but the boy had done his best to help them. He’d left on a quest that had cost him his horse. And while he had been offered everything he could ever want before he returned home, Cairon could well understand the boy’s reluctance to leave the Ivory Tower.

But Cairon was worried that Atreyu’s experiences were preventing him from healing fully. And the reports he kept receiving from the healer seemed to agree.

Which was why Cairon had decided to end the petitions early today. He left the audience chamber and walked up the winding staircase.

The Childlike Empress’ room was at the very top of the tower, but there were other rooms further down, each with its own floor, though not as elaborate as the Empress’ own chambers.

Cairon reached the floor Atreyu had been given and walked through a shiny, white marble door into a long corridor.

The first door Cairon reached was the one leading to the bedchamber. While he fully expected the boy warrior to be in his bedroom (at least not when the Childlike Empress was speaking to him), Cairon had no intention of invading Atreyu’s privacy. So he stood outside the simple, plain wooden door and knocked lightly.

There was silence for so long, Cairon thought perhaps the boy wasn’t going to answer at all. Finally, though, the door was opened a crack; and then long enough for Atreyu’s dishevelled head, with dark circles under his eyes, to come into view. He blinked several times, as if struggling to focus on Cairon, before asking wearily, “What do you need from me? Is there another quest you need me to go on?”

“May I come in?” Cairon asked.

“Of course.” Atreyu stepped back from the door. “What do you need?”

Cairon stepped through the door, into the room, closing the door behind him. He took a good long at Atreyu before speaking. “I’m here to help you.”

“I failed.” Atreyu’s smile was bitter and self-deprecating. “I don’t know how you can help me with that.”

Cairon walked over and sat down on the bed. He locked eyes with Atreyu and smiled, then patted one knee. “Come sit with me.”

For all his bravery, Atreyu was still a child. A child in need of comfort. He barely hesitated, walking over to Cairon and settling himself on the man’s lap, looking into his eyes. “How can you help me?”

“I can help you to forgive yourself.” Cairon wrapped his arms around Atreyu and hugged the boy tight.

A tiny, quiet sniffle escaped and Atreyu wrapped his arms around Cairon, hugging on tightly and fiercely.

They stayed hugging like that for a while. Cairon didn’t have any children, but he saw himself as a surrogate father to the Childlike Empress. And while he knew Atreyu had the rest of the plainspeople, he couldn’t help but feel paternal towards the boy warrior. Atreyu had saved the people of Fantasia. He didn’t deserve the pain of guilt.

Atreyu was quiet for a few moments, just cuddling, before he whispered, “Please help me?”

Cairon hugged the boy for a bit longer and then moved Atreyu carefully over his lap. He placed a hand gently on the boy’s back as he delivered a light swat to the boy’s backside with his other hand.

The next few swats were at the same force and speed; only enough to sting and not truly hurt. At the same time, Cairon rubbed Atreyu’s back. He swatted down to the boy’s thighs and then started over from the top as he began to speak. “You didn’t fail, Atreyu. You did everything right.”

“I lost my friend.” Atreyu’s breath hitched in a sob. “I couldn’t save him.”

“You did your best,” Cairon said gently. “I know there’s no replacement for Artax, but you have other friends. You have other people who care about you and who you care about.”

“Like you?” Atreyu whispered.

“Like me,” Cairon agreed. “I care about you, Atreyu. I’m here to help you. Not to make you leave. I would be happy if you stayed here for as long as you want to.”

Atreyu’s whole body slumped. He didn’t fight or protest as Cairon moved him back onto his lap instead of over it. He just wrapped his arms around Cairon tightly and cried into his shoulder.

Cairon rubbed Atreyu’s back, waiting for the storm of tears to pass.

Finally, the boy warrior pulled back, wiping at his eyes. He gave Cairon a slight, trembling smile before whispering, “I think I’m ready to go back to the plains now.”

“I will provide you with everything you need,” Cairon promised. “And you will always be welcome to come back here, to the Ivory Tower. To others who care about you.”

“Thank you.” Atreyu cuddled for a bit longer and then, taking a deep breath, he sat up and wiped his eyes, giving Cairon a trembling smile. “I’m ready now.” He looked more at peace than he had done in days.

The End