What Happens Next

Summary: After Endgame, Steve leaves to return the stones to their rightful places. When he comes back, something is very wrong
Warning(s): Spoilers for Endgame; AU; wounds caused by torture
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson

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Sam glanced at Bucky, noticing that the other man was stood quietly, watching the spot where Steve had been only moments before. This was the first time he’d been alone with Bucky since they’d fought against each other when the man had been the soldier under the control of HYDRA. He’d halfway expected to feel nervous. To feel like he had to be on his guard.

“I’m sorry.”

Surprise had Sam looking towards Bucky. The other man wasn’t looking at him; still staring at the spot where Steve had gone back in time to return the stones to where they belonged.

Sam didn’t waste his breath asking what Bucky was apologising for. He suspected that the other man had been thinking along the same lines: that this was the first time they’d been alone together.

“It’s okay,” Sam muttered, looking away as well. Where was Steve? He cast a glance towards Bruce, who looked about as confused as Sam felt as well. “What happened?” Sam asked the scientist. “Shouldn’t he be back by now?” Could they try going after Steve? Had he got lost somewhere in time? Attacked? Sam tried not to let panic control him. Tried hard to wait for Bruce to speak up; to let them know if they needed to panic, or if this was something that could be expected.

But just as he was about to ask Bruce if he should go after Steve, the man appeared. But he looked…different. Haggard. His face drawn and pale. And his gaze shifted towards Sam before quickly darting away again as he focused on Bucky.

It was almost like Steve was ashamed to look at him.

Sam frowned when Steve stepped away from Bruce and walked towards Bucky, not even acknowledging Sam other than another one of those haunted, guilt-filled glances.

“Cap?”

“Stevie?”

The twin queries came at the same time, both Sam’s and Bucky’s tones filled with worry. Concern. Steve had left them contented, even if the amount of losses they’d suffered hadn’t left him happy. And now, he’d gone back in time and…was feeling so guilty about something, he couldn’t even look at them?

Except that wasn’t entirely accurate. It was Sam who Steve was refusing to look at. And that was more than a little unusual. Even at the worst times, Steve had always been prepared to face anything.

“Cap.” Sam took a few steps, bringing himself into Steve’s personal space, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “What happened? You….”

“Stevie.” Bucky’s arms came up to catch Steve as he toppled forward, falling unconscious into Bucky’s arms.

“What happened?!” Bruce was there immediately, surprisingly gentle large hands plucking Steve from Bucky’s grip and carefully laying him on the grass.

Blood was rapidly spreading across Steve’s chest, soaking through his shirt. His head had fallen back, revealing purple and yellow mottled bruising around his neck.

For a few moments, all they could do was stare at Steve’s limp form.

Sam broke the silence. He dropped to his knees next to Steve’s body and grasped the hem of his shirt gingerly. “He needs a hospital.”

“Sam, wait.” Bucky’s flesh hand came to rest on his arm, squeezing in a way that was almost a warning. “He’s not healed from this. It’s bad.”

“I’ve seen worse.” Sam shrugged off Bucky’s hand and pulled the shirt free.

There were cuts and bruises all over Steve’s torso. Other marks that looked like burns; maybe even brands. No inch of skin that had been covered by his shirt was left without some kind of injury. And while Sam didn’t remove Steve’s pants, he could see that the wounds appeared to carry on down past the waistband.

“What happened?” Bucky whispered, sounding about as horrified as Sam felt.

Sam glanced up to see Bruce moving away. The man picked up the comms and spoke into them, requesting medical aid. He sounded calm enough…certainly far calmer than Sam himself felt.

Bucky knelt down on the other side of Steve, opposite Sam, and took the man’s hand. “Stevie?” he murmured. “Can you hear me?” He squeezed Steve’s hand.

“I hope a medical team gets here soon,” Sam muttered. “Maybe I should just grab my car. Drive him directly to the hospital.”

“No.” Steve’s eyes opened. He focused on Sam blearily; looked past him at Bucky and then Bruce. “No hospitals.” He spoke in a clear voice, attempting to push himself up. “I’ll heal.”

Sam placed his hands on Steve’s shoulders and gently pushed him down, looking into his eyes. “Don’t be a hero, Cap.”

Steve flinched and Sam couldn’t tell if it was from his words or his touch. In a voice heavy with guilt, Steve whispered, “I’m not a hero.”

“Who did this to you, Stevie?” Bucky leaned in close. “The last time we saw you, you were going to return the stones back where they belonged. How did things go so badly that you’re in such bad shape? What happened?”

“I can’t say.” Steve glanced at Sam and then quickly looked away again.

“You mean you won’t say it in front of me.” Sam shook his head. “What did I do, Cap? Did I do something when you went back in time?”

Steve flinched visibly and closed his eyes as he whispered, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He opened his eyes again and focused on Bruce. “I don’t need a hospital or a med team. I know it looks bad, but I’ll heal from it.”

While Steve wasn’t looking at him, Sam hadn’t taken his eyes off the other man. There was still blood covering Steve’s bare skin, but the cuts and bruises didn’t look quite as bad as they had done. Or was that just Sam’s wishful thinking? He shook his head and placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder, ignoring the flinch from the other man. “I don’t know what happened to you and I don’t know why you’re too ashamed to even look at me, but I’m not going to just ignore it and ignore what’s happened to you. If you don’t want to go to hospital, then you need to let me help you. Take care of those injuries until your advanced healing kicks in.” He paused and glanced at Bucky, then focused on Steve once more and said quietly, “But if you can’t stand to be around me, then you should let Bucky take care of you.”

Steve was shaking his head almost before Sam had finished speaking. “It’s…it’s not that I can’t stand to be around you,” he whispered. For a moment, a look of uncertainty passed over his face, but he finally looked into Sam’s eyes and whispered, “When you learn what happened, you’re not going to want to be around me.”

Sam glanced at Bucky, but the other man didn’t seem like he had any idea or clue what Steve was talking about. Frowning, Sam turned his attention back to Steve and didn’t even try to hide his worry as he said, “Look, Cap, it’s obvious something happened when you went back in time. Someone hurt you. You can’t be alone right now.” He hesitated. “I’m still in the process of getting my apartment back. We can’t use my place until I have that sorted.” He glanced again at Bucky. “You were based in Wakanda before we all disappeared, right? Can we go there? I know Wakanda’s technologically advanced and probably medically advanced, too. Just in case something goes wrong and the accelerated healing doesn’t kick in.”

Bucky nodded. “T’Challa and Shuri told me I still have a place there. It’ll be the best base for us while we handle whatever’s happened here.”

Steve glanced at both of them, then at Bruce before he sighed and spoke to Sam. “You need to make sure to bring your own vehicle. When you learn the truth, I…won’t blame you if you need to leave after you learn the truth.” He closed his eyes and his head tipped back, his breath coming out in short, harsh pants.

Bucky moved forward and carefully lifted Steve into his arms. “If you’ve got your car, we can take that through the border to Wakanda. Then, if Stevie’s right and you don’t feel able to stay…you’ll be able to leave easily.”

Sam stood slowly. He looked at Steve, who was held in Bucky’s arms…but Steve looked like he was unconscious. Even if he wasn’t, he clearly wasn’t going to explain anything to them until they were settled and alone.

And maybe not even then.

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By the time the three of them were settled in Wakanda, Sam’s worry for Steve had only grown. The advanced healing was kicking in, but it was only gradually…and by the time Steve was settled comfortably in Bucky’s bed, the bleeding had stopped, but he was still hurt. Still clearly reluctant to let Sam touch him.

But Sam couldn’t bring himself to leave Steve’s side. Even though the other man was clearly feeling guilty, clearly hurting about something deeper than the physical wounds, Sam couldn’t make himself step away. He couldn’t imagine why Steve would even think he should.

Bucky only left the room long enough to retrieve a bowl of warm water and a clean, dry cloth. Sam took both from him and dipped the cloth into the water. He then began to carefully clean the blood off Steve’s chest.

Sitting on the bed on Steve’s other side, Bucky reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. He didn’t say anything, just held onto Steve and squeezed his hand.

By the time Sam had finished cleaning all the blood from Steve’s torso and saw that, yes, his wounds were well on their way to healing, the once-clear water was crimson in colour. Steve’s eyes were closed and he was breathing shallowly, but he was finally no longer flinching each time Sam touched him.

Was it enough to prove to the other man that Sam was there for him and wouldn’t abandon him, no matter what? Sam desperately hoped so.

Finally, as Sam wrung out the cloth for the final time, Steve spoke without opening his eyes. “Something really bad happened while I was gone.”

“No kidding,” Sam muttered, shifting position slightly.

Bucky gently squeezed Steve’s hand again. “Something bad happened to Sam?”

“It was gong to,” Steve whispered, sounding…lost. His voice hitched and he breathed in deep, harsh pants, clutching tightly at Bucky’s hand. It had to hurt, but Bucky showed no outward sign of being in pain.

Sam took Steve’s other hand, that was desperately grasping, and squeezed it. “You saved me, when you went back in time?” But if that was the case, why was Steve so wracked with guilt? Why had he been cringing every time Sam so much as touched him?

“I had a choice,” Steve whispered. “I couldn’t…I couldn’t make the choice for the best possible outcome. One life weighed against many, but…I couldn’t do it.” He abruptly pulled his hands free of both Bucky’s and Sam’s and hunched in on himself.

Bucky was the one who broke the silence, speaking in a calm, matter of fact tone. “Someone wanted you to sacrifice Sam. To let him die to save others. And you wouldn’t do it. Is that why you were tortured?”

Steve shook his head, pulling his shirt down to cover his torso, hunching in on himself even more. “They were going to do it to him.” His response was given in a low, very hurt tone. His face was almost stark white and he looked down, as if he was ashamed to meet either of their eyes.

“Cap….” Sam placed his hand on Steve’s arm; felt the tension bunched under his palm. This was a shock to absorb. He’d had no inkling his life was in danger, but he had no reason not to believe Steve. The misery, the guilt…. If their positions had been reversed, would he have made the same choices?

“You don’t have to stay,” Steve whispered hoarsely. “I’ll understand. If you can’t look at me. If you’re angry. If….”

Sam clasped Steve’s head in his hands, turned it towards him and kissed the other man full on the mouth.

Steve froze, long enough for Sam to start to pull back. Then, letting out a faint, choking cry, Steve wrapped his own arms tight around Sam, pressing back into the kiss.

By the time they separated, Sam could taste salt on his lips.

Steve’s body shuddered and trembled, but while his eyes were bright and glassy with tears, a trembling smile formed on his lips. “I thought you might hate me,” he whispered.

“You’re not the only one to make mistakes. And I can’t really say it was a mistake, since you saved me from so much worse.” Sam cleared his throat. “I’m not gonna hate you, Cap. I wish you hadn’t been hurt trying to protect me. I know you heal faster than me, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to suffer.”

“I’d rather it happen to me than you.” Steve closed his eyes once more.

Sam leaned forward and he brushed a gentle kiss over each of Steve’s eyelids.

Almost immediately, Steve groaned low in his throat and his face flushed. He opened his eyes and looked up into Sam’s, reaching up and grabbing his shirt and pulling him down to kiss him deeply.

Lost in the kiss and the sensations running through him, Sam didn’t break the kiss until he heard Bucky clearing his throat. Then, he looked up at the third man there. “Sorry.” He sat back slowly, but gripped Steve’s hand tight.

“You don’t need to apologise,” Bucky replied, a trace of amusement slipping into his voice as he added, “But I wanted to remind you that I was here. In case you’d forgotten.” He glanced at Steve and frowned in concern as he added, “Fast healing or not, you’ve not had much time to recover between the battle and now. Before you go any further….”

“You’re right,” Sam agreed. He looked at Steve and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Get some rest, Cap. When you wake up, we’ll pick up where we left off.”

“I’m on board with that.” Steve closed his eyes and, with a quiet sigh, finally slipped into a peaceful sleep.

The End