We Should Talk About This

Summary: Follows What This Means. The Protagonist takes care of Neil and learns something of their history
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the whole movie Tenet; AU; some references to sex; some references to violence
Pairing: The Protagonist/Neil

###

During the trip home, the Protagonist had kept a careful eye on Neil. He’d noted that the other man had avoided sitting as much as possible; winced every so often, although not enough to draw undue attention to either of them.

Still, it was obvious that Neil was sore. So as soon as they were through the door of their apartment, the Protagonist gestured towards the main room. “Take your clothes off. I got some supplies.”

The grin Neil gave was cocky and sent a jolt straight to the Protagonist’s groin. But the other man’s words made his gut churn. “Did tanning me get you hot and heavy?”

“Did he get turned on by it?” The Protagonist grabbed Neil by the shoulders, staring into his eyes.

His partner made no attempt to get loose. Didn’t try to pretend he didn’t know who the Protagonist was talking about. “It’s not him and you. You’re just at a different point.”

“Answer the question.”

“Did we have sex after I got spanked?” Neil paused. “Yes. But I was the one who initiated it. Near as I can tell, you don’t get turned on causing pain. Even if it’s pain to teach and train. And believe me, I have a lot of ways to turn you on.” He leaned forward, almost as if to kiss. Instead, his warm breath wafted over the Protagonist’s lips.

He breathed Neil in and felt his member stir in response. But he still had to ask, “Then why make that comment?”

“To lighten the mood?” Neil’s shoulders shifted in his grip as he gave a half-shrug. “You were quiet and brooding on our way back. You didn’t break me. You didn’t cross any lines.”

He frowned and his grip tightened. He stepped forward, into Neil’s personal space, pressing their bodies together. He watched as the other man’s pupils dilated and listened as his breathing quickened. “Did he ever?”

“Hmm?” Neil blinked and his eyes refocused once more. “Did he ever what?”

“Cross the line.”

Neil took a step back and breathed in deep. “If we’re doing this, I need to be more comfortable. And I need a drink.” He paused and cocked his head to one side. Gave another cocky grin. “Still want me naked?”

“Yes.” The Protagonist couldn’t return the smile. He stared until Neil walked into the main room and then closed his eyes.

What path had he taken in the future that he couldn’t even say, ‘I love you,’ to the man who’d give his life for him?

Opening his eyes again, the Protagonist walked into the kitchen and made two trips: first to the fridge and then to the cupboard. He then exited and crossed the hallway, walking into the main room.

Neil had already stripped and stood in the middle of the room, facing the doorway. He smiled and straightened his shoulders, arching his back, his nipples pebbling slightly. “Like what you see?”

“Turn around.”

Neil lost his smile as he took note of what was in the Protagonist’s hands. “It’s not that bad.” His voice was soft; pitched to sound reassuring. “I can’t say sitting down will feel that pleasant, but I can still sit.”

“Humour me.” The Protagonist placed the decanter of whiskey and two glasses on the coffee table in front of the couch, then turned the bottle of aloe vera gel upside down and squirted a generous amount onto his hands. “I need to do this. In fact….” He walked over and sat down on the couch, then nodded to his lap.

Neil gave a half-smile and walked over to stand at the Protagonist’s side. He bent gracefully at the waist and settled comfortably in place across the Protagonist’s knees.

He couldn’t help but wince at the angry red colour of Neil’s bottom. When he placed his hands on the buttocks and began to rub the gel in, he could feel the heat radiating from the other man’s cheeks. He rubbed slowly and gently, making the red skin glisten.

Neil’s groan was long and drawn out. “That feels really good.”

“I can tell.” The Protagonist could feel Neil’s erection poking into his leg. Touching the other man was enough to cause his own member to stir, taking an interest in the proceedings. “About that crossing the line.”

This time, Neil sighed. “You didn’t cross any lines. There’s a clear one between discipline and abuse and you never went even near it. No matter how angry I made you.” Shifting slightly, he added, “Of course, there was one occasion I was afraid I’d pushed you too far. But that was pretty early on in our relationship and it was on me.”

“What happened?”

###

Neil ran a bit faster to catch up with Ives and grinned at the other man. “So. You got my weapon ready for me?” He saw the other soldiers milling around, heard them talking and joking around with each other.

They were standing in the weapons locker, guns of different size and caliber stored all around them. All of the other soldiers were checking their own guns. Clipping extra ammunition to their belts. It wasn’t the first time Neil had felt left out, somehow apart from the easy camaraderie of the other soldiers, but he was cheered somewhat by his decision to join Ives and the rest of the soldiers on their current mission.

And his partner was away, taking care of another, secret mission. So he was confident that he’d be out and back by the time the Protagonist returned.

Ives raised his eyebrows, but he handed Neil his gun without more than a passing, “I thought your partner said that you weren’t ready.”

“He changed his mind.” Neil shrugged. “What can I say?”

Ives’ glance was quick and hard, but if he thought Neil was lying, he didn’t make any comment on it. Instead, he said, “Make sure you stick close to me. This will be your first mission without the Protagonist.”

“I’m fully aware of that. But sooner or later, I’m going to have to go on missions without him.” Neil holstered his gun. “I can’t stay by his side forever.” The Protagonist hadn’t told him much about the future ahead of them, but he’d always had the sense that things would end faster than they would for most couples.

It was better to make sure he was prepared. And his partner was far too protective over him. But Neil didn’t want to have any arguments about how capable he was. What the Protagonist didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. Or Neil’s backside, for that matter.

“Hmm.” Ives looked at Neil for a few moments and then nodded. He raised his voice to address the rest of the soldiers. “We’re moving out in five.”

As if Ives’ words had flipped a switch, the joking and laughter stopped and the men and women around them grabbed their helmets and made sure their armour was fully adjusted. Neil retrieved his own helmet, putting it in place and grabbing his bag, making sure his red token was still fully intact and in place.

It only took a further few seconds for them all to fall into line with Ives at the front. Neil melted in with the rest of the soldiers…at least as far as he was aware.

As they left the weapons locker, Neil felt his stomach churn. It wasn’t the mission he was nervous about. He fully believed he was ready for it. But he felt a slight stab of guilt when he thought about the fact he had let his partner believe something that wasn’t true.

Neil’s focus was on the vehicles they were approaching and not what was going on around him. That focus quickly changed when he felt his pack firmly gripped, arresting his movement. He stopped and turned round, somehow not surprised to see his partner stood behind him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” The Protagonist’s eyes were narrowed and he spoke in a low voice that, nevertheless, carried a sharp edge to it.

Neil swallowed, the churning in his gut growing worse. He looked into his lover’s face and then reached up, pulling off his helmet so that the other man could see his eyes. “I wanted to go on a mission.”

“I told you no.” The Protagonist pulled him forward, flush against his chest, and his palm collided firmly with Neil’s backside.

Neil yelped. The swat stung, but it was where they were that made him flush. “Can we talk about this inside? In private?”

In answer, the Protagonist swatted again and again. He held Neil tight against himself, so that he couldn’t pull free, and continued to smack. The dull sound of a palm against clothed bottom echoed clearly around them. “I told you that you weren’t ready to go yet.”

“That’s not fair.” Neil’s response was quiet, but he had to respond. “You keep saying that. You keep saying I’m not ready. You can’t protect me forever. I’m not a bird whose wings you can clip. You have to let me go sometime.”

The Protagonist abruptly loosened his hold. Stepped back from Neil. Something shifted in his eyes and then he turned away, shaking his head.

Neil’s bottom stung from the few swats and he was still flushed from being swatted outside, where the other soldiers had been able to see. But worse than the sting of the swats was the feeling that his partner was withdrawing. That he’d somehow screwed something up, said something wrong, without realising it.

“Go on then.” The Protagonist spoke without turning. Without looking at Neil. “If it’s so important to you to run off into battle now…then go.”

Neil frowned and stepped forward. He didn’t touch the other man, even though he said, softly, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You don’t think that lying to me hurts?”

“I wouldn’t have to lie to you if you’d just been reasonable.”

The Protagonist shook his head. “I told you to go.”

It was what he’d wanted. What he thought he wanted. But now, the bitter taste of guilt filled his mouth. He didn’t want to go. Not like this. The stinging from the swats was already fading, but his heart ached. He stepped closer, embracing the Protagonist from behind. Resting his forehead against the other man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“You lied to me.”

Neil winced and closed his eyes, nuzzling into his partner’s shoulder. Breathing in his lover. “I’m sorry,” he said again. He took a step back and took a deep breath. His hands went to his belt and he unbuckled it, pulling it through the loops and then holding the implement out. “I shouldn’t have lied to you. Please forgive me,” he whispered.

The Protagonist turned and reached a hand out. Face expressionless, he took the belt from Neil’s hands. He doubled it over in his hand and then looked at Neil, eyebrows raised.

Neil took a deep breath and turned round. He braced his hands against the wall of the weapons locker and leaned forward, closing his eyes and trying not to think about the fact they were out in public and anyone could see what was happening.

The Protagonist tugged his pants and underwear down and Neil shivered at the cool air that ghosted across his backside before the belt whistled through the air and landed on his bared backside with a dull thwap, leaving behind a stripe of fire in its wake.

Neil breathed in deep and let out the breath on a sharp exhale as a second line of fire was delivered and then a third. This wasn’t the first time he’d been belted, but the punishment was always painful. He knew that his partner was holding back on his full strength; that if he wanted to, the Protagonist could break him. Still, the punishment was painful enough that he was biting his lips so that he wouldn’t cry out.

By the time the belting paused, Neil’s whole bottom throbbed, from crest down to mid-thigh and everywhere in between. Neil wasn’t crying outright, but there were tears in his eyes and his body was shuddering.

The Protagonist tugged Neil’s underwear and pants back into place and then wrapped his arms around him, drawing him into a tight hug and kissing his neck.

Neil grabbed on tight and took a deep breath, blinking back the tears. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Forgive me?”

“Yeah.” The Protagonist captured Neil’s lips with his own before pulling back.

The sound of a throat clearing brought Neil’s attention to Ives and the rest of the soldiers. Groaning, Neil let his head rest lightly against his lover’s shoulder. “Remind me not to let you catch me misbehaving in public again,” he said wryly.

The Protagonist pulled back and picked up the helmet Neil had placed on the ground. He then held it out to Neil. “If you’re still determined to go on the mission, we’ll go together.”

“Together.” Neil grinned. “Yeah. That sounds good.” He put the helmet on and then reached out, grabbing the Protagonist’s hand and tugging him towards the group of soldiers.

###

“I’m honestly surprised you didn’t spank me outside this time,” Neil admitted. “I already know better than to lie to you.”

“It didn’t even occur to me,” the Protagonist admitted. “I know Ives witnessed it, but that felt different.”

“He’s been there for a long time,” Neil agreed. “Since the start of our relationship. The first time around. He’s seen me at my worst, when I was pushing and testing. Sometimes getting spanked every other day.” He laughed softly. “When you recruited me, I was a smart-mouthed kid who thought I knew everything.”

“I’m not so sure that you don’t still think you know everything.” The Protagonist continued to rub the gel into Neil’s backside, letting it be fully absorbed into the skin before he helped the other man to stand up.

Neil sat carefully on the couch next to him and reached out to pour them each a small measure of whiskey, handing one of the glasses to the Protagonist. “Luckily for me, I have you in my corner.”

“So no more dangerous behaviour?”

“Well.” Neil thought about that and then leaned forward, kissing him deeply. “I can’t promise no dangerous behaviour…but if I do anything stupid, I know how you’ll handle it. And whatever you give me, I’ll deserve.”

The Protagonist kissed Neil firmly in return, sliding his hand down the other man’s back, tasting whiskey and his partner’s soft lips. Then, he pulled back slowly. “I love you.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” Neil whispered. “I love you too. So much.” He smiled, hands ghosting over the Protagonist’s chest, then leaned in and kissed him gently and tenderly. “I think you’re wearing too many clothes.”

“Well…do you want to help me with that?” The Protagonist raised his eyebrows and waited, smiling, for Neil to act.0

The End