Trust Goes Both Ways

Summary: “Do we need to have another conversation about lying?” Kadou might no longer be romantically involved with Tadek, but he knows how important trust and loyalty is on both sides
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the whole book; AU; references to canon violence
Pairing: Kadou/Evemer (background)
Author’s Note: Special thanks to Torc87, who gave me ideas and prompts on how to actually make this work. And I would highly recommend reading A Taste of Gold and Iron, if you haven’t already. I really loved it!

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Kadou watched as Evemer left the room, purposefully not looking in Tadek’s direction. The mild warning, nearly a scolding, had made him realise that Tadek was still hurt. He was hurt physically, of course, which Kadou felt terrible about…but the exchanges both today and previously had made it very clear that he was hurt by Kadou outright lying to him. On two separate occasions.

Picking at the food that remained on his plate, Kadou swallowed and forced himself to look up, meeting Tadek’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” he offered quietly.

Tadek was silent for a few moments, busying himself with straightening the items around the room. It wasn’t strictly necessary…really, it only further proved that Tadek was more upset than he’d let on, since he should have been resting. He wasn’t limping as badly as he had been before returning to the palace, but he still should have been taking every opportunity to rest. When he spoke, when he responded to Kadou, his voice was as light and easy as it had ever been. “You don’t need to apologise to me. Your Highness.”

Kadou couldn’t help but wince at the use of his title. There was no change in the inflection of Tadek’s tone. In fact, he wasn’t speaking any differently to how he’d spoken to Evemer. But that didn’t matter, because Kadou knew that Tadek was upset with him…and while he was tempted to just ignore it, knowing that Tadek wouldn’t bring it up again if Kadou didn’t, he didn’t want to leave things between them as they were.

Biting his lip, Kadou watched as Tadek finally sat down. “Tadek.” He cleared his throat, hoping that he wasn’t about to have another attack of cowardice. Tadek would understand and would help him through it, even though they no longer had any romantic attachments to each other. Still, it didn’t feel fair to put that onto Tadek when he’d had to help and do so much for Kadou already. “I truly am sorry,” he offered.

Tadek looked at him, finally, his expression impossible to read. Only his voice betrayed that he was hurt. That Kadou had hurt him. “If you were really sorry for lying to me, you wouldn’t have done it a second time.”

In spite of himself, Kadou flinched. He didn’t really have a good enough answer, or a good enough reason. Tadek had outright said he preferred Evemer’s method of getting him to shut up and stop asking questions, even if it did involve half-drowning him. “I am sorry….” His voice trailed off. Tadek had already indicated he wouldn’t accept an apology; that he didn’t believe it. But there had to be something…. “What can I do to make this right?” Impulsively, he asked, “If you punished me physically, would that make things right between us? Would you be able to forgive me?”

Tadek’s eyes darted to Kadou’s face, his brow furrowing in confusion and surprise. “Punish you? I have no right….”

“If I give it to you, you would. For this matter and this alone. To…right the wrong I did you. To heal the rift I caused.” Almost desperately, worried that Tadek would refuse and he’d never be able to make things right between them, Kadou quickly continued, “Not just for…hurting you by lying, but all of the other wrongs I’ve done you. Please….” His voice stumbled and he took in a deep breath. “Please punish me. So you can forgive me and we can get past this.”

Tadek stared at him for several very long moments before he finally said, “Very well.” He stood and walked over to the bed, sat down, and made eye contact with Kadou. “Come here.”

It was a familiar order, though not one he’d heard since he was a young boy, and Kadou felt his stomach clench as his face grew hot. A spanking wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he’d asked Tadek to punish him. He nearly opened his mouth to protest; to say he’d take any punishment but that. But the words died before they could reach his lips. He’d told Tadek to punish him…and when he’d said those words, it had been with the intention of submitting to whatever the other chose to do. Arguing, or protesting, or trying to bargain his way out of how Tadek chose to punish him would just cause more of a rift between the two of them.

Slowly, Kadou walked over to stand by Tadek's knee. He looked down at the other's lap, then into Tadek's face...not sure what he was looking for. After all, Tadek often didn't treat situations as seriously as he should have done; although he'd treated everything extremely seriously when he'd thought Kadou had been in danger.

Tadek smiled, and there was something very reassuring in the expression. "It's all right," he said softly. "Just get in position and I'll do the rest."

Kadou nodded and took a deep breath. He took a few steps forward and bent slowly at the waist, lowering himself across Tadek's lap. He shifted enough so that he was as comfortable as it was possible to be, as comfortable as he could be, considering he was about to get a spanking.

The hand that brushed over his back was gentle and despite himself, Kadou felt his body relaxing. Touch had always made him feel more comfortable and the fact that Tadek was taking the time to touch him in a reassuring manner made him feel much better. He couldn't help tensing up when Tadek's hand moved a little lower, hovering over his bottom, but he challenged anyone to be relaxed and at ease when they were in this horribly submissive position.

Tadek didn't start spanking immediately. There wouldn't have been any point, as the clothing covering Kadou's body would make the smacks ineffective. Instead, Kadou felt his robes raised, folded over on his back, exposing his bare bottom.

Breathing in deeply, Kadou clenched his fists in the bed's comforter, taking a few moments to calm his nerves. He concentrated on his breathing, as Tadek had encouraged him to each time Kadou had had an attack of cowardice. In and out. In and out.

There was no warning when the first firm smack was delivered to his naked backside. Kadou let out his breath in a shocked gasp. It hurt. Not the agonising pain of a wound he'd been given during a fight, but the sharp sting of a lesson being imparted. Whining softly, low in his throat, he couldn't help but clench his backside as Tadek continued to cover his naked, vulnerable flesh in firm smacks that left the skin hot and stinging. The worst was when Tadek gave attention to his thighs. Kadou's breaths came out in pants and his legs began to jerk, trying to kick, even though he tried to keep enough control over himself not to do that.

It didn't take long before Kadou's entire bottom, from the crest down to mid-thigh, was hot, stinging, burning. His fists were clenched tight in the bed, because otherwise, he'd be throwing he'd be throwing his hand back to cover his backside.

"Why are you in this position, Kadou?" Tadek asked, his hand slowing the smacks, although not stopping them, apparently to allow Kadou to draw his thoughts together enough to answer.

Letting out a tiny whimper, almost a protesting whine, Kadou forced himself to respond to the question. He owed Tadek that much, after all. "I lied to you." His breathing hitched as he said those words, as he admitted them. Tears blurred his eyes and he had to pause to catch his breath, whimpering softly as that answer earned him a harder smack, this one aimed at his upper thigh. "I...I lied to you twice. After you told me how much it hurt you. After I knew how much it hurt you. I'm sorry." The tears blurring his eyes slipped down his cheeks and he whimpered softly, putting his head down as he forced himself to relax and submit to the punishment.

"Good," Tadek murmured, that soft, reassuring tone back in his voice. "Hold on for me, Kadou. A bit more and then we'll be done."

Kadou couldn't help the soft whine that escaped his throat at those words. Surely they were done already? His bottom was stinging and protesting the spanking already. He could feel the heat radiating from the punished skin.

But he'd given Tadek the permission, the ability, to punish him. And it was Tadek's decision when that punishment would end. Not Kadou's. Even if the punishment Tadek had chosen was painful and humiliating and made Kadou feel more like a child than anything ever could.

Tadek didn't respond to the sound Kadou made, at least with words. Instead, he gently rubbed Kadou's lower back, even as he returned to smacking sore, already punished flesh.

The smacks hurt so much more now. Kadou didn't know if it was because Tadek was smacking him harder, or if it was because his bottom was just that much more sensitive. Either way, he lost the battle to stop his legs from kicking and they began to do so, as if he was trying to propel himself off Tadek's lap.

Kadou didn't know how many smacks Tadek had delivered to his stinging, burning skin. Tadek had said they were nearly finished, but the smacks were landing harder and faster...each one drawing more tears from Kadou's eyes, until he was outright sobbing. His legs gave one last, fruitless kick before he slumped in position over Tadek's lap, sobbing hard without being able to stop.

It took longer than Kadou would have liked to admit, but finally, he realised the spanking had stopped. Tadek's hand was instead rubbing his lower back and the other man was talking to him in the soft, gentle, soothing tones that Kadou was more used to.

Even though the spanking had stopped, Kadou didn't immediately push himself up. He stayed in position across Tadek's lap, slowly bringing his breathing under control. Gradually, he became aware of the fact that his bottom was still exposed, still vulnerable...but as if Tadek had realised the same thing the moment Kadou had, the next moment, he felt his clothing being lowered to cover his bottom once more. It didn't do anything for the stinging soreness, but at least he was no longer as exposed.

Finally, Kadou felt he'd reached the point where he could force himself to stand up. He did so slowly, reaching back to rub at his bottom, before he forced himself to look into Tadek's eyes.

Smiling, Tadek reached out and wrapped his arms around Kadou in a tight hug, petting his hair. "It's all right." His voice was low and reassuring. "I forgive you. Thank you for realising."

Breathing in slowly, Kadou wrapped his arms around Tadek and held on just as tight in return. He needed to go and visit his sister...he needed to figure out how to navigate this situation with Evemer...but for some reason, he felt much more prepared, almost lighter and freer, now that he’d repaired things with Tadek.

He was ready for his next step.

The End