The Whole Truth

Summary: Set after the events of the movie. Milo and Rebecca talk again
Pairing: Milo/Rebecca
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the movie Antitrust; references to violence and canon character death; AU
Author’s Note: So, this has been in my head since I originally watched the movie. I just recently remembered and sought out the ending scene to refresh my memory. About twenty years in the execution. Hope you enjoy!

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“Can we talk? Please?”

Milo paused and pulled the phone away from his ear to look at it. The number wasn’t one that he recognised, but the voice was all too familiar. Pain lanced through him, only dulled a little with the passing of time. Had she changed phones, changed her number, because she thought he wouldn’t answer her call if he knew it was her? If he had known, would he have answered?

“Milo?” Her voice coming from the receiver sounded hesitant. Uncertain. Nothing like the confident woman who he’d dated, who he’d shared his life with, for so long.

Swallowing hard, he put the phone to his ear. Debated staying quiet and let her either continue talking, or hang up. Finally, he spoke. “I’m here.”

“Can we talk?” she asked again. “I…. There’s so much I need to tell you. So much I need to explain.”

“Did you know?” He couldn’t keep the note of anger out of his voice. It was better than letting her hear the hurt that lingered below the surface. Better than letting her know just how much her lies and manipulations had wounded him. “Did you know about the programmers?” His voice faltered and his breath hitched. He sounded all too close to tears as he demanded, “Did you know about Teddy?”

“Of course not.” He could hear the flinch in her voice. “Teddy was my friend too. I loved him just as much as you did.”

“Love.” He laughed bitterly. “Do you even know what that word means? You lied to me. You spied on me. You didn’t even tell me your real name.” He paused, but when she didn’t say anything, he pushed on. “Was any of it real?”

“Not at first.” She whispered the admittance. “Gary got me out of prison. I thought I owed him a debt and he…played on that.” Her voice dropped even lower as she said, “You know what he’s like. Was like. He convinced me that the only way I could repay him was by spying on you.”

Milo clenched his fist, hard enough to hurt. Hard enough to draw blood. He said nothing, though. He might have felt better on the surface if she’d continue to lie to him, but eventually, it would have only dug the knife in deeper.

“You stopped being a job or an obligation to me long before he even tried to recruit you,” she said. “I fell in love with you, Milo. I love you.”

His hand trembled as he thought about slamming the phone down. As he thought about tearing into her verbally and saying that she hadn’t even been honest with him about her name, so how could he expect that she was telling him the truth now? His hand clenched tightly around the receiver he still held, but he was proud of how level and calm his voice sounded as he spoke. “How am I supposed to believe that when you lied to me about everything else?”

“Can I come over?”

He paused and thought about it. Seriously considered whether he wanted to see her again. Was there anything she could say to him that she couldn’t say over the phone?

“Please, Milo,” she whispered. “I just want to talk. And I think it might be easier if I can talk to you face to face.”

He stood and walked to the window, staring out of it onto the street below. After everything had gone down with Gary and Synapse, he’d moved back to the old apartment they’d shared. Of course, she was no longer there to share it with him. “What could you possibly say to me that would make any of this better?” he whispered hoarsely.

“Can I at least try?” she whispered. “Please?”

Tears pricked at his eyes and he dashed the back of his hand across them angrily. “Okay,” he muttered. “Don’t know what the hell you think you can say to me that will make any of this better, but I’ll give you the chance.”

“Thank you.” She took a deep breath. “I’ll be there soon.” She disconnected the call.

Milo stood at the window, listening to the dial tone. He didn’t know how long he stood there for, staring out onto the street. It was long enough for him to spot Rebecca’s car as it pulled up outside. He watched as she got out of the car, searching for a sign of her true nature…of what there was to her when his eyes were on her.

There was nothing. She didn’t look any different at all. If he didn’t know any better, he would have assumed she was Alice; his girlfriend and the woman he’d planned to spend the rest of his life with. She claimed that her feelings for him hadn’t been a lie, but how much could he really believe in her and what she told him? Everything about his life had been a lie.

No. Not everything. His best friend hadn’t been a lie. His search for justice hadn’t been a lie. And he was fairly sure that Rebecca’s grief over Teddy’s death, over his murder, had been real.

Milo watched as Rebecca took in a deep, steadying breath and squared her shoulders. He watched until she walked to the door and then he finally stepped away from the window. He walked to the intercom as it buzzed and he pressed the button to answer, though he said nothing.

“Milo.” She whispered his name, a whole wealth of emotion combined in that one word. “Can I come in?”

He pressed the button. “It’s unlocked.” Then, he took a step back and waited for her to come up.

It wasn’t long before he heard the sound of footsteps outside the door. He hesitated over immediately opening it. What if she wasn’t alone? Was inviting her back into his life really a good idea?

He pushed away those thoughts and worries and forced himself to take in a deep, steadying breath. Then, he unbolted the door and pulled it open.

She stood just outside, alone, her face filled with emotion. “Milo.” She reached a shaky hand out to him, as if she might touch his face.

He took a step back and ignored the stab of guilt he felt when pain flashed across her face. She’d helped him…chosen to be on his side, after all was said and done. But he still couldn’t let himself relax around her. He still couldn’t know who she truly was, after everything she’d hidden from him.

Her hand dropped and her eyes were dark with pain as she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He laughed; a harsh, bitter sound that must have sounded as alien to her as it did him, if the way she flinched was any indication. “Sorry?” he repeated. “Do you think an apology can do anything…that it can change anything?”

“No.” She looked into his eyes. “But no matter what you think about me, even if you can never forgive me, it’s really important that you know it wasn’t a lie. How I felt about you. How I feel about you. I love you, Milo.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you and I’m so sorry. If I could change what happened, if I could have been honest with you much sooner, I would have.” Her shoulders slumped and she turned away from him. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”

He was about to watch her walk away from him, walk out of his life…possibly forever…and he couldn’t stand it. “Wait.” He reached out and closed his hand around her wrist before he could talk himself out of it; before he could convince himself that this was a bad idea.

She looked down at his hand on her wrist. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t turn back either. “I can’t stay here. Not when I know you can’t forgive me.”

“I want to,” he whispered. “I want to forgive you. I want to move past this. I just….” His voice trailed off. “I don’t know how to trust you again.”

“I shouldn’t have come back here.” She placed her hand over his; let it rest there for a few moments before she let go. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”

Seeing her about to walk out of the apartment, out of his life forever, caused pain to slice through him, like he’d been stabbed in the heart. From behind, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her shoulder. “Please don’t leave me.”

“Milo….”

“I love you.” As he said the words, he knew they were true. “I’ve always loved you. I will always love you. Don’t walk away from me.”

Her whole body shuddered and she turned in his arms to wrap her own around him tightly. “I don’t know how we can get past this.” Her voice was a hopeless whisper.

“I have an idea.” He kissed her shoulder, feeling her relax into his touch, and then began to guide her into the main room. He led her over to the couch and took a seat, drawing her over to stand in front of him. Then, he began to unfasten her pants.

“Milo.” She placed her hands over his, though didn’t try to stop him.

He looked into her eyes. “I know this isn’t exactly a conventional way of dealing with things, but our relationship has been damaged due to the lies you told and the secrets you kept from me. I don’t have any other ideas about how to start over, how to go back from all this…how to have a clean slate.”

“A clean slate?” She looked into his eyes.

“A clean slate.” He finished unfastening her pants and pulled them down. His fingers glided over her smooth skin and he resisted the urge to pull her into a deep, hard kiss. He didn’t want to confuse this with sex, though, and once her pants were down, he gently guided her into position across his lap. He rested one hand on her lower back and the other on her panty-clad backside, rubbing for a few moments before he lifted his hand and brought it down in a firm smack.

She gasped, her body twitching, and he heard her breath hitch.

Steeling himself, Milo continued to bring his hand down in firm, even swats, covering her entire backside from the crest to just below where the panties covered. When his hand swatted her bare skin, she whimpered and her legs jerked a little.

“I believe you’re sorry.” He spoke partway through the second circuit of swats, able to see there was a pink flush through the white cotton of her panties. “I know this hurts, but the fact that you’re willing to do this…to make things right between us…helps me believe I can trust you again. That this relationship is worth working on.”

She whispered something that he couldn’t quite hear and he leaned down towards her. “What was that?”

“It doesn’t hurt as much as the way I hurt you,” she whispered, tears heavy in her voice.

He winced. Although he’d been expecting her to cry, he hadn’t realised it would affect him so much. A stab of guilt went through him and he whispered, “I’m glad you came back to me.”

A quiet sob escaped her and he felt her fingers wrap around his ankle.

He hesitated, his hand gently rubbing over her lower back, before he said quietly, “I’m going to give you another ten smacks. After that, it’ll be over and we can start again.”

“And you’ll forgive me?” she sobbed.

“And I’ll forgive you.” He gently tugged her panties down, baring her bottom. He let his hand rest on the flushed skin for a few moments and then lifted his hand, bringing it down in a firmer smack than before.

Rebecca yelped, her body jerking, and her tears became more pronounced.

It was hard, but he continued to smack for the promised ten swats, turning her bottom to a darker pink. Then, as soon as he reached the last one, he quickly moved her into his arms, on his lap, holding her in a tight, almost crushing embrace.

She didn’t seem to mind, though, and held onto him just as tightly, cuddling in close. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, sniffling quietly.

“No more apologies.” He cupped her cheek; leaned forward and kissed her lips, tasting the salt of her tears. “Now…we start over.”

The End