Releasing Emotions

Summary: Written for Carly as part of a fic/art exchange. Ice notices Maverick’s behaviour getting more reckless again. Someone needs to step in
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the whole movie Top Gun; AU; some references to canon character death; sexual situations between two men; discussion of reckless, suicidal behaviour
Pairing: Iceman/Maverick

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Maverick didn’t really know what to do with himself when he got like this. When he felt so on edge and his skin was crawling with an itch he couldn’t scratch and the only way he could feel ‘normal’ again was through doing something dangerous and reckless. And normally, he could rely on someone like Goose to pull him back before it got to be too much.

But Goose was gone now. He wasn’t coming back. And damned if that knowledge didn’t cut so deep into Maverick’s soul, he didn’t know how he remained standing some days.

Today, Maverick had ignored the classes. Ignored his responsibility as an instructor. He’d gone straight to the hanger and taken out one of the planes. Now, he was flying through the air, in perhaps one of the only places he felt truly comfortable.

Time passed. Maverick didn’t know how much; only realised he’d been gone longer when he saw the fuel gauge was getting low. If he didn’t want to risk crashing into the ground, he needed to land and refuel.

If he didn’t want to risk a crash.

“Mav.”

The voice crackled over the headset, reaching him through the comms. Maverick hesitated before flicking the button and then responding. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“How long have you been up for?” Iceman’s voice sounded through the comms.

“Several hours,” Maverick responded. “Why? Did I leave the bed too cold for you?” He snorted softly. “I figured the Iceman would prefer it.” He glanced sideways, out of the window, towards the other aircraft that was hovering alongside his own.

Ice was wearing his own helmet, but Maverick still recognised him. He thought he probably always would, no matter what barriers lay between them. Snorting softly, he looked away, hesitating before responding. “If you wanted to do something, it’ll have to wait. I need to refuel.” The moment was gone. That instant of considering letting the aircraft crash into the ground was gone as quickly as it had come and he looped the plane in a circle, returning to the hanger.

Ice flew alongside him, but didn’t speak over the comms as they both came in for a landing. Maverick sat in silence for a few moments, just staring out at the airfield, and then climbed out of the plane, walking across the ground to meet Ice.

“What was that up there?” Ice’s voice was low and he didn’t speak until they were close enough that there was no chance they’d be overheard by anyone else who might be passing by.

“Not sure what you mean, Ice.” Maverick flashed him a cocky grin. “We were just flying. And then I came back because I needed to refuel. No one made you come after me, Ice. There was no reason not to stay up in the air. I would have been back in a few minutes.”

Ice’s eyes narrowed and his brows creased into a frown. Then, he placed both hands on Maverick’s shoulders, staring into his eyes. “You’re getting too close to the line again.”

Maverick shook his head. “What line?”

“That line you should never cross.” Ice’s grip on his shoulders tightened. “You’ve acted dangerously and recklessly in the past, but never like you have a death wish. Not until recently.”

Maverick took a step back, but it didn’t force Ice to let go. Instead, the other man followed his movement; gripping tighter, almost to the point of it being painful. “I don’t have a death wish,” he protested.

Ice let go of Maverick with one hand. He turned him to one side and a split second later, his palm collided firmly with Maverick’s bottom. Then, before Maverick could voice anything more than an indignant yelp, he turned him back round to face him. “You don’t lie to me.”

Maverick’s mouth dropped open and he stared into Ice’s eyes before saying, “I can’t believe you just swatted me.”

“And I’ll do it again if I have to. If you lie to me again. Hell, if you persist in this dangerous behaviour, I might just take my belt off, bend you over and light into your ass,” Ice stated.

The threat should have made Maverick angry. He should have taken a swing at Ice in response to the words. Hell, he should have decked Ice for swatting him in the first place. But…he wasn’t angry. Surprised, yes. But his stomach had flipflopped, first at the smack and then at the promise. He’d never imagined submitting to someone else. Never imagined the thought of getting tanned might be intriguing, rather than make him want to run from the person who was making that threat. “I don’t have a death wish,” he muttered.

Ice didn’t respond with words. He just turned Maverick to one side and delivered a second firm smack, this time to the other side of his backside, making that sting too.

Maverick jumped, but he couldn’t rightly say he hadn’t expected it. His stomach flipped again and he stared down at his feet, resisting the urge to reach back and rub at the stinging spots on his bottom. “Taking the kind of chances I do is what makes me such a good pilot.”

“You can’t tell me that flying to the point of nearly running out of fuel was a necessary chance to take.”

“No,” Maverick agreed, his voice low. “It wasn’t. That wasn’t…this wasn’t about that.” He stumbled over the words. Because, while he and Ice had been sleeping together, had had damn good sex with each other, he wasn’t used to talking about feelings, about emotions, with the other man. Hell, half of the time, he wasn’t sure Ice even really liked him. All of their encounters seemed to end with them tumbling into bed with each other, but they never talked. And this was the first time Ice had taken any kind of charge outside of the bedroom.

“What was it about?” Ice asked.

Swallowing, Maverick made himself look at Ice; look into the other man’s eyes. “I thought about letting it crash.” The words escaped in a low voice. For perhaps one of the only times in his life, he was opening up. Letting himself share serious emotions he felt. He didn’t know why he was letting himself tell Ice; only that his fellow pilot was the only one he’d let in. Even if it had originally only been about sex.

“Because of Goose?” Ice’s voice was low. Filled with sympathy. He squeezed Maverick’s shoulder.

“It just doesn’t feel right that I’m still alive while he’s gone,” Maverick admitted, his voice more hoarse than he’d thought it would be. “It was…I was the one who was taking all those chances. Not him.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“That really doesn’t matter.”

Ice nodded. Wordlessly, he turned Maverick round. He pushed Maverick’s pants and underwear down; pushed on his back to encourage him to bend over. Then, he swatted him again; harder than he had over his clothes.

The first smack to bare skin had Maverick sucking his breath in sharply. He braced his hands on his knees, forcing himself to stay in position as Ice’s hand delivered firm smacks all over his backside; in random patterns, so it was impossible to tell where the next one would land.

After a bit, Maverick’s bottom was stinging and Ice stopped the spanking. He then felt his arm gripped firmly and stood up, uncomfortably aware of his member swinging down between his legs. While the spanking had hurt, he was still beginning to get hard.

Ice reached down and gently gripped Maverick’s member in one hand. “When we’re done here, I’ll take care of that.”

Maverick drew in a shaky breath. “We’re not done yet?”

“Not yet.” Releasing Maverick’s erection, Ice led him over to the other side of the hanger, where there was a bench seat. He sat down and drew Maverick down into position across his lap.

Maverick took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, squirming a bit. Almost automatically, he crossed his hands behind his back and felt Ice grasp them.

The smacks were delivered firmly and steadily. Ice didn’t spank him too fast, giving just enough time for the pain of one smack to reach its peak before he delivered the next one. He ensured every single inch of Maverick’s bottom, from the crest down to mid-thigh, received attention multiple times.

After only a couple of minutes, Maverick’s bottom was burning. He squirmed and wriggled, but the grip Ice had on his wrists was firm enough that he couldn’t pull his hands free.

“You aren’t going to get yourself killed, Maverick.” Ice spoke in a steady, calm voice as his hand continued to deliver burning smacks. “I’m not going to let that happen.”

“Never thought I was that good a lay,” Maverick managed to get out. His bottom was stinging ferociously now and his eyes were blurring with tears. His chest felt tight and there was a lump in his throat.

“We haven’t put a name to our relationship,” Ice responded. “But we do have one. A relationship. I care about you, Mav. I’m not gonna let you risk your own life because you feel guilty. Goose wouldn’t want that either.”

“Okay.” Maverick’s throat closed over after he made that admittance in a whisper. He slumped over Ice’s lap, letting the tears just fall down his cheeks.

He didn’t know how long he cried for, but eventually, he came back to himself, sniffling quietly. Ice had let go of his hands and was now rubbing his lower back.

Maverick slowly pushed himself to his feet, rubbing at his eyes and blinking back the tears that were still trickling down his cheeks. He reached down and pulled his clothing back into place and let out a watery, “Great. Now I have to go wash my face and pretend I haven’t been crying.”

Ice reached out and pulled Maverick into a deep, lingering kiss. “You still want my help with your erection? Or are you gonna deck me for overstepping?”

Maverick responded enthusiastically to the kiss, feeling his member stir in response to Ice’s offer. “Nah,” he responded. “Not this time, at least.” He pressed in closer, adding more bite to the kiss. “No promises for next time.” He gently bit Ice’s lips; then, when the other man opened his mouth, he pushed his tongue inside.

For now, he was content to let Ice’s touches and kisses chase away the traces of the dark grief that had dogged him.

The End