Reflections And Consequences

Summary: Next in my series of Dr. Simon Coppenrath as Malcolm’s spanking therapist. Dr. Coppenrath and Malcolm discuss Bright’s latest spanking from Gil
Warning(s): Spanking; minor spoilers for Prodigal Son; references to violence; discussion of murder; embarrassing situations

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Gil really embarrassed me today. Can’t really say if it was worse than being spanked in front of JT and Dani, though. At least the people who saw all of this today didn’t know me personally. Not like Dani and JT.

It wasn’t fair! I know I went into the situation without waiting for backup, but I had a really good reason for it….

Dr. Coppenrath lowered the journal and looked at Malcolm, who was seated opposite him. “This isn’t the first time you’ve gone into a dangerous situation without backup, is it?”

The question was rhetorical, but Malcolm nodded anyway. His hand shook and he clutched at it with his other. “This time was different.”

“How so?” Dr. Coppenrath asked. “It’s not the first time Liutenant Arroyo has punished you for going into a dangerous situation without backup.”

“I don’t enjoy pain,” Malcolm said quickly.

“I know you don’t,” Dr. Coppenrath replied. “But even if you don’t enjoy the pain of the spanking, I know you enjoy the feeling of catharsis, the release of emotions, that come along with the physical pain.”

Malcolm’s smile was grim, almost sad. “You think I’m addicted to the catharsis I get after being spanked.” He paused, considering, before saying, “There are worse things to be addicted to, you know.”

“You’re not taking this seriously, Malcolm.”

Malcolm leaned forward slightly. “I’m not addicted to that release, Doctor.”

“Really?” Dr. Coppenrath raised his eyebrows and tapped the journal. “We’ve been having these discussions for a while and I feel I’ve got to know you pretty well by now. You deliberately engineer situations so that you get punished. So that you get spanked.”

“That’s not true.”

Dr. Coppenrath placed the journal on his lap and sighed. “You’re an intelligent man, Malcolm. You wouldn’t expect someone you cared about, someone you loved, to continually put themselves in danger when they’re smart enough to know how to take different actions.”

Malcolm’s hand gripped his shaking one even tighter, tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. “It isn’t the same.”

“If Edrisa put herself in danger?” Dr. Coppenrath pressed.

“It’s not the same,” Malcolm repeated. This time, though, his words didn’t sound so certain. His eyes were narrowed in thought. After a few seconds, though, his face cleared and he said quickly, “Edrisa wouldn’t do anything that would put herself in danger. She’s too smart for that.”

“Not even to help you?”

Malcolm hesitated, mouth opening and then closing again. He slumped back into his chair and closed his eyes, brow creasing in thought.

Dr. Coppenrath waited.

Finally, Malcolm opened his eyes and looked at him. “Maybe you’re right,” he said, clearly reluctantly. “But even if she did, Gil wouldn’t do the same thing to her as he does to me.”

“You mean he wouldn’t spank her,” Dr. Coppenrath said. “But he still wouldn’t be happy with her. He might not look on her as a daughter, but he still cares about her. And I know you’ve noticed that Lieutenant Arroyo changes the way he responds to each person based on what that person needs from him.” He paused. “But we’re not discussing your father figure’s actions and motivations but yours.”

“He took me shopping to get a belt,” Malcolm said.

Dr. Coppenrath opened the journal, finding the entry dated for the day before, and read out, “Gil told me he was tired of talking and talking and of me not listening to him. So he drove us out of town, to a dress shop, and told me to pick out a belt that he was going to use to ‘make the lesson really stick’.” He looked up at Malcolm. “Did anyone there know who you were?”

“That’s not the point.”

Dr. Coppenrath shook his head. “Lieutenant Arroyo made sure you didn’t interact with anyone either of you knew. Even if he did embarrass you, it was in front of people you have no reason to see again.”

“I had to tell them why we were buying a belt.” Malcolm’s face turned red. “Like a little boy who was in trouble.” He squirmed a little. “The belting didn’t even really hurt as much as the humiliation.” He paused, as if considering that for a moment, before saying, “Okay, it didn’t hurt more. But it still wasn’t necessary.”

“Are you angry with him for doing that to you?” Dr. Coppenrath asked.

“Yes.” The response was given immediately, in the tone of a petulant child. Then Malcolm sighed and shook his head. “No,” he admitted. “But I’m not happy with him for doing that. It still aches when I sit down.” A mournful note crept into his voice. “And I don’t know that I can stop.”

“It’s certainly something that needs to be dealt with,” Dr. Coppenrath said. “I believe you are addicted to the release you get from being spanked by your father figure. I’m aware that you’ve slept better, that you’ve slept longer, after a spanking has allowed you to cry.”

Malcolm looked down, taking a deep breath, and then looked back at Dr. Coppenrath. “Say you’re right. Is that really so much of a bad thing?”

“Getting spanked to release your emotions and to give you a safe space to relax and sleep better isn’t a problem,” Dr. Coppenrath allowed. “But this isn’t about that. What we’re discussing now is that you’re putting yourself in danger, that you’re doing something you know you shouldn’t, in order to get this release. I know you don’t want to make Lieutenant Arroyo worry about you. I don’t imagine it feels good when you disobey his instructions and make him angry with you.”

“It doesn’t,” Malcolm admitted. He slowly released his hand, as it had stopped shaking. “But he’d worry about me if I asked him to spank me. I can’t just ask him to do it.”

“What about your mother?” Dr. Coppenrath asked.

“Ask her…to spank me?” Malcolm quickly shook his head. “I don’t like that idea.”

“You think she wouldn’t do it?”

“Of course she would,” Malcolm replied. “If she thought it would do any good at all…but I don’t want her to spank me,” he added. “That would be weird.”

“But Lieutenant Arroyo spanking you isn’t?” Dr. Coppenrath leaned forward slightly, bracing his hands on his knees, meeting Malcolm’s eyes. “That’s because you can be weak in front of him. Isn’t it? But you can’t let yourself be weak in front of your mother.”

“I need to protect her,” Malcolm said quietly. “She doesn’t need to protect me.”

“She’s your mother,” Dr. Coppenrath pointed out quietly. “I’m sure she’d say that was her job.”

“Martin Whitley hurt her more than enough.” Malcolm’s mouth twisted. “She’s never been the same after…after it all came out. I know I was only a child then, but I could still see it.” He swallowed. “I can’t ask her to help me.”

“But you need to trust someone with this.”

“I guess it’s a lot easier to ask for it than to act out and get my backside tanned because I disappointed someone I love.” Malcolm sighed and shifted slightly. “But I don’t think any amount of punishment will help me get rid of this guilt.”

Dr. Coppenrath shook his head. “You take too much guilt on yourself, Malcolm. You were only a child. Your father was drugging you. Even now, you aren’t sure what was real and what wasn’t from that time. You were only a child.”

Malcolm was quiet for several long moments before he spoke in a low tone. “There are a lot of people who blame me for not doing something sooner.”

“Maybe some people do think like that,” Dr. Coppenrath allowed. “But that doesn’t mean they’re right to blame you. It doesn’t mean you should blame yourself.”

“You and Gil say the same kinds of things.” Malcolm smiled, but it didn’t look very happy. Letting out a long sigh, he glanced at his phone’s screen and said, “It’s nearly time for me to go.”

Dr. Coppenrath nodded. “You know what to do.”

For a moment, he thought Malcolm had changed his mind. That the younger man would say he didn’t need or want the spanking therapy to continue. But then Malcolm gave a slightly self-deprecating smile and then stood up. He walked over to Dr. Coppenrath’s side and undid his pants, pushing them and his boxers down before he carefully lowered himself into place across Dr. Coppenrath’s lap.

The marks from the belt were still vivid on Malcolm’s backside. They looked painful, but Dr. Coppenrath didn’t comment on them. Instead, he wrapped his arm around the other man’s waist, pulling Malcolm in tight against his stomach, and began to smack.

The swats were firm, though lighter than they had been in previous sessions, Dr. Coppenrath making some allowance for the after-effects of the strapping. Still, the spanking was clearly felt, as Malcolm quickly began squirming and yelping.

It only took two full circuits of smacks for Malcolm’s whole bottom to reach a uniform shade of red, making it impossible to distinguish the belt stripes from the marks left behind from the hand spanking. And then it only took one further circuit for the tears to start…and a fourth circuit for the tears to become sobs and for any fight and tension to seep out of Malcolm’s body.

Dr. Coppenrath stopped spanking and rubbed Malcolm’s back for a few moments before he carefully pulled the younger man’s clothing back into place. He didn’t force Malcolm to stand before he was ready, though, letting him stay in place for as long as he needed.

Slowly, finally, Malcolm pushed himself up. His eyes were red and wet, but there was a peaceful look on his face as he made eye contact with Dr. Coppenrath. “Same time next week?”

Nodding, Dr. Coppenrath handed the journal back to him. “Between now and then, I want you to talk to Lieutenant Arroyo about getting what you need without needing to act out.” He hesitated before adding, “Without needing to be naughty.”

“Naughty.” Malcolm smiled and reached back to rub his bottom, a rueful look coming over his face. “That’s a pretty juvenile word.”

“But an accurate one.”

“Yeah.” Malcolm breathed out and then stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Dr. Coppenrath in a brief, though tight hug. “Thanks, Doc. You’re really helping me.”

“I hope so,” Dr. Coppenrath replied wryly. “I’d hate to think I was going to all of this effort only for it to fail to help you.”

Malcolm chuckled and stepped back. With one last rub to his bottom, he headed towards the door of the cell and knocked to be let out.

The End