Reawakening

Summary: Ben is brought home.
Warning(s): Spoilers for the entire Star Wars franchise and major spoilers for episode 7; spanking; AU; some violence; sexual situations between two men; references to torture and some descriptions of wounds
Pairing: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo

###

Poe wasn't moving as quickly as he normally would, due to the pain he was experiencing. He still managed to keep up with the rebel Stormtrooper who'd decided to help him. He kept talking, to distract himself not only from the physical pain but also from the emotional. "That's a bit of a mouthful. I'm gonna call you Finn," he stated.

The stormtrooper, Finn, looked at him as if he wasn't sure Poe had lost his mind. But Poe figured, someone choosing to rebel against the First Order deserved to have a proper name. And Finn seemed to agree, since he didn't protest and instead continued leading Poe to the ship.

***

Ben was livid. How was it that he had his prisoner in his grasp with no problems, he got called away by Snoke for barely ten minutes and within that short period of time, the guard he'd left was incapacitated and his prisoner was freed? "They are going to try to escape on a ship. You do not want that to occur..." he told the troopers with him, his tone ominous. They all ran the direction it was believed the prisoner and his 'helper' would escape.

Ben allowed his rage to fester and grow. It was the only way to keep the guilt down. The only way to keep the regret down. The only way to avoid thinking about the fact that he'd just tortured a man who had been his best friend once upon a time. More than that, though no one had known; he certainly hadn't told anyone, not even the man in question. Of course, with the pushing into Poe's mind the way he had, trying to gather intel through a force mind-link, there was no way Poe didn't know now. He'd been blindsided by the memories of his one-time friend and it had caused his own memories to surge forward and blend with the rebel's own. Unfortunately, that enabled Poe to see his memories as he was searching through Poe's and... well... he hadn't been able to stop that one thought from bleeding through in time. It was partly Poe's shock at seeing that memory that had enabled the rebel to push him back out of his mind. And, of course, Snoke had chosen that moment to require his presence, so he'd had to leave quickly. He was certain the rebel thought it was because the secret had been let out of the bag.

No. He couldn't think of any of that. Better to feed his rage. In a temper, he Force-threw one of the droids that didn't move out of his way quickly enough. It was lucky to escape with only a small dent in its chassis. The last one he'd thrown like that ended up in repairs for a week.

***

"They're going to come after us," Finn said, as he and Poe quickly settled in place in the fighter.

Poe managed to push aside his excitement at being able to fly one of the First Order's ships. "Can you use the weapons?"

"I've fired blasters before."

"Close enough. Similar thing, just bigger." Sitting was a relief; not being on his feet. What helped too was having something else to focus on; to focus on flying the ship in their escape. Not on how much Ben had hurt him. Not on seeing into the younger man's mind, into his memories, and knowing that things could have been different for them...so different.

***

By the time Ben, Kylo-Ren (seeing into Poe's minds had disturbed the fragile peace he had in his own mind) had reached the bay, the troopers he had sent ahead were nervously waiting. "They escaped, sir."

Kylo growled, glad that he wore a mask so that the trooper would think he was growling in anger at him and not be able to see the worry on Ben's face. Snoke had made it clear Poe should not escape. The few minutes he'd been dragged away to speak with the 'Supreme Commander' had been filled with Snoke telling him that he was wasting his time and he needed to be more proactive in torture so that they could get the information needed and then kill the rebel. Kylo was moving too slowly. Now that Poe had escaped, Ben would have to face Snoke and admit failure... and accept the consequences.

He had just decided he'd take his own ship and go in pursuit; Snoke wouldn't be as angry if Kylo stopped them, even if he had to kill them in the escape, but the Sith Lord somehow already knew they were gone and was insistent that Kylo-Ren come and face his failure now. Straightening his shoulders and swallowing back the fear that he might not live past the punishment he had coming, Ben turned on his heel and went to report to Snoke.

***

By the time Poe fully regained consciousness, he was out on the sand, exposed to the rays of the hot sun. There was no sign of either Finn or of the ship they'd escaped in. No sign of his jacket, either, though that was less concerning than the disappearance of the stormtrooper who had helped him and who Poe had felt a draw to.

Scrambling to his feet, Poe began walking in a direction he hoped would lead him to civilization. Preferably before the sun burned him to a crisp.

***

When Ben was finally able to get into his own ship and follow the escapees, he'd insisted on going alone. The ship they'd taken had a beacon and it would be very easy to locate. He had no doubt he'd be able to restrain them if they weren't dead. He could track them faster if he wasn't held back by troopers accompanying him.

Of course, there was a secondary reason for him wanting to travel alone. Alone, he didn't have to pretend that he wasn't hurting from what Snoke had done to him. The Sith Lord always made a point not to leave visible marks or wounds that would hinder him doing his job. But mental wounds could cause just as much pain and they were more difficult to hide.

He landed his ship not far from where the last broadcast of the beacon came from and looked around. The beacon led him here, but there was no visible ship. Frowning, he closed his eyes and focused on the terrain. There were several areas where the land was not stable. There were pockets under the ground that would swallow things up. Luckily, he'd parked his own ship on an area that was stable. He turned a critical eye to the landscape, to see if there were any indications that the escapees had... well... escaped. It would make it easier if the ground had swallowed them up, but since when was his life easy? And a small part of him, that he refused to look at, didn't want Poe to die that way. (Didn't want Poe to die at all, really, but he couldn't admit that even in the darkest corners of his mind). He let out a slow breath (it wasn't of relief...it couldn't be) when he saw two sets of tracks, both going in opposite directions. The one set of tracks looked as if it was made by someone unsteady on their feet. Taking a chance that it was Poe, because he'd already been wounded before he even ran, Ben began to follow the unsteady tracks.

***

Poe was unsteady on his feet, his injuries slowing him down more than he'd liked. And he didn't have a weapon with him. Of course, at full strength, he'd be able to hand fight just as easily without a weapon. He'd grown up scrapping on the streets, after all.

But if he didn't find water soon, he was going to dehydrate. And then he wouldn't be any good to anyone. Let alone the resistance.

***

Kylo was like a bloodhound once he'd decided on which trail to follow. Not that it was easy. His head throbbed from Snoke tearing through his thoughts to find out if he'd deliberately left Poe in position to escape. His body ached from the phantom pains Snoke had forced him to feel. What did it matter if he really hadn't had his arms and legs rendered from his body? If the nerves, tendons, muscle, bone and joints were just as healthy as they'd always been? If his mind felt like they'd been torn from him and the agony felt real? The remnant of that pain made it difficult to not notice the heat or his thirst. He could only hope Poe would find a small area with a water source and would stop. Then, after Ben recaptured him, he'd be able to rest a little and drink.

***

When he saw the tiny little oasis, Poe's first thought was that he was hallucinating; seeing things. When he got nearer and the image didn't fade, he didn't rush forward and start drinking straight away. Instead, he kept enough presence of mind to check for signs of decay...bones of animals...before he cautiously tried the water for himself.

Kylo had been a little over an hour behind Poe and Finn when he'd finally taken his ship and began to follow. But Poe and Finn had crashed their ship. And then their ship had been swallowed by the ground. On top of that, Poe had already been injured before even taking off. He wasn't moving very fast. So, despite the large lead they'd had on him, Poe hadn't been at the oasis for very long before Kylo had come over the horizon and seen it as well.  And seen Poe. Forcing himself to ignore his own pain (he wasn't injured, it was all in his mind), Kylo hurried down to face Poe. "Stop right there, rebel scum..." he growled out through the mask, reaching for his lightsaber... only to remember; Snoke had taken it and told him he would not get it back until Poe was back in their clutches. He hadn't thought to grab a blaster.

Poe straightened immediately, eyeing the younger man warily...and not without a bit of sadness at seeing how far his best friend had fallen. It hurt, hearing those words coming from Ben's mouth. Hurt worse than the physical pain of being tortured. But he noticed the lack of a weapon. No lightsaber. No blaster. "I'm surprised you came after me yourself. Or didn't you trust one of your lackeys to capture me?" He took a step forward, trying to hide how much he hurt.

Kylo straightened, but didn't answer the question, not entirely certain how he could answer it. He didn't really trust anyone, and it was his own sanity on the line if Poe wasn't brought back, so.... "Put your hands behind your head and kneel..." he ordered firmly, grateful that the mask he wore modulated his voice. Otherwise Poe would hear his own pain... as well as the regret that he couldn't help feeling. He could see the sadness in Poe's eyes, and it reminded him of the sadness that had been in them when he'd been sent away to train with his uncle. At the time, he was positive Poe was the only one who cared that he was leaving. Of course, he'd begun to doubt that thought when he never received any letters or holo-calls from his best friend. He had become just as positive that he'd been imagining any caring Poe might have felt. Seeing that look on Poe's face again brought back all the old insecurities and fears of the child he'd been. He was thankful for the mask, as it hid all those insecurities and fears; he was certain they were splayed on his face.

"No," Poe answered. He took another step closer to Ben, keeping his balance carefully. He couldn't fight against the force if the younger man decided to use it. "I'm not going to willingly go back with you, Ben," he informed the younger man. "Not to the First Order." He stretched out his hand slowly towards Ben. "But I'll go with you, I'll take you, back home. Back to your parents. Back with me."

Ben couldn't help it; he stepped back in surprise at Poe's words, stumbling slightly in his hurry. "What...what makes you think I would willingly leave my destiny to return there? To return where they will most likely execute me?" he tried to scoff. Again, he was grateful for the mask, as it hid how unsettled Poe's words had made him. He shouldn't even be listening to the rebel, let alone considering it. But he remembered sifting through Poe's memories; and he remembered his own memories that he'd tried to bury deep inside where even he couldn't access them, and he found himself wishing Poe would take him home. He didn't think he could turn his back on the First Order and go, not without a fight. But he found himself wishing Poe would take him anyway.

Poe continued to step closer to Ben, his voice pitched low; reassuring; caring. "I don't think they will. If anyone tried, your parents...they'd back me up. We wouldn't let it happen." He continued to hold his hand out. "But we don't have to go back there. I can take you somewhere else. Somewhere we can be together." His expression matched his words; open and honest. He wasn't deceiving or playing a trick. He'd seen inside Ben's mind. Seen how the younger man felt. And his own feelings, feelings he'd pushed down when Ben had joined the First Order, had risen to meet those.

Ben's eyes widened in surprise at that offer, grateful that Poe wouldn't be able to see his involuntary response to the suggestion. He didn't try and ask anything so stupid as 'why would I want to be together with you?' He knew Poe had seen his memories as much as he'd seen Poe's. It was useless to pretend that, at one time, he'd wanted that. Although in his childish memory, it was them going off to fight the 'bad guys' together, like his momma and dadda had done before he was born and where he'd say 'I love you' to Poe like his momma did and Poe would answer 'I know' like his dadda always did. It was a stupid, childish dream that had never been based in reality and why that had to be what escaped and revealed itself to Poe, he didn't want to know. He just knew, "That would never work." He stepped back again, wincing when he felt his back press up against one of the boulders that sheltered the small water source. It must look so ridiculous; Kylo Ren, the bane of rebels everywhere, scary mask fully in place, backing away from a wounded rebel and getting caught against a rock's face. What the frell was wrong with him?

"Why?" Poe was so close to Ben now, stepping into the younger man's personal space. The helmet was a barrier between them, and he reached out, intending to remove it. "I thought we had more time." His voice was low, but not as steady as he would have liked. "Time for me to actually court you properly." His lips quirked into a wry smile; but it was true. Being older than Ben and a pilot, he'd hesitated, not wanting to make a move. Not wanting to force Ben into something the younger man wasn't ready for.

Ben was too confused by Poe's words of having more time to notice that the older man was reaching for his helmet until it was too late, and Poe held it in his hands. Ben was exposed, everything he was feeling shone from his eyes. The sadness, regret, guilt, confusion, fear, hopelessness... and pain. He swallowed and tried ineffectively to step away from Poe, but as there was a boulder there, he couldn't move, and Poe was able to stand as close as he wanted. "We didn't have nearly enough..." he whispered finally. He'd been nearing his 16th year when he went to train, already much older than his uncle would have liked; and Poe was considered an adult, even if a very young one. Poe had never once indicated that he'd been interested in Ben and Ben had thought the feelings one-sided. It was a bit of a shock to find out he'd been wrong about that.

Poe put the helmet to one side and carefully reached out, wrapping his arms around Poe. "I couldn't act or even show anything until you'd reached your majority." He took a step closer to the younger man; not exactly pinning Poe to the boulder but pressing them together. He slid one hand up to card his fingers through Ben's hair.

Ben's eyes were wide, almost frightened, at Poe's actions, but he didn't pull away. He couldn’t. It was like his body had decided that it liked what Poe was doing, so it didn't matter how much his mind screamed at it that he needed to pull away and that this couldn't happen, because he would lose everything if he gave in.... And it was obvious his body liked what Poe was doing, because even though his uncertainty, confusion and fear was plain in his eyes... other areas of his body were very welcoming of Poe's advances. Still... "This... this can't..." He swallowed hard, his voice failing him as the dryness of his mouth and his nerves overpowered it.

Poe gently pulled Ben into his arms, so that the younger man wasn't pressed against the boulder. He'd recognized the signs of injuries and even if there were no physical wounds on Ben, he knew enough about the force to know it could still cause harm. He carefully led Ben to the side of the small pool of water and sat, settling the younger man on his lap. One hand continued to card through Ben's hair, while the other cupped and dipped into the water. He held his hand to Ben's lips. "I know you must be thirsty. Drink." He whispered the words into Ben's ear.

Ben felt like he should fight; he'd planned to fight. Planned to capture Poe and drag him back to the ship so he could return to his master. But despite thinking that's what he should do, he couldn't bring himself to do it. And he didn't understand why... or, at least, he refused to acknowledge why. Facing his feelings and what he wanted would mean facing a lot of other things as well and he wasn't that brave. So, instead, he let Poe pull him and situate him and put him where he wanted. And when the older man ordered him to drink from his hand, Ben obeyed. And the warmth that filled him at his own obedience, the feeling of safe and belong and right that filled him, almost took his breath away and did bring tears to his eyes. It overpowered any strong urge he had to force Poe to return and reinforced the feelings of reluctance he'd had; because he didn't want to hurt Poe. Not really. He'd done enough of that when he'd tortured the older man. He was through hurting Poe. And hurting him was the only way he'd capture him again. He knew that, deep down.

"Good." Poe whispered the word against Ben's ear, close enough for his lips to brush against it. "My good boy." He filled his hand with water again; encouraged Ben to drink once more. His arm wrapped around Ben's waist, almost possessively, pulling the younger man back against his torso.

At those words, Ben felt his emotions start to slide and the feeling scared him enough that he pulled back; not hard, not really trying to get away, but a token resistance. He hadn't been called a 'good boy' since before he went to train with Luke and after everything he'd done to the galaxy, it was hard to hear. "I... I'm not your good boy..." he muttered, turning his face away, unable to hide the guilt he felt. It was obvious he was objecting to the adjective and not the possessive.

Poe tugged Ben back against him; further into his arms. The rest of the suit was another barrier and he began to remove it, leaving Ben only in the clothes underneath it. "You don't pull away from me, Ben." His voice was firm, even if it remained calm and he didn't raise it. "Pulling away will get you punished. Will get you spanked." He left unsaid that was on top of what the younger man was already facing from him.

The promise of a spanking if he pulled away was enough to guarantee Ben would pull away. Not that he didn't believe Poe. He wasn't even thinking on the fact if Poe was telling the truth or not. It was his pride dictating things now. "You can't order me around and punish me like a child if I don't cooperate!" he blustered, as he attempted to pull away from Poe. To his own surprise, he wasn't angry. Just offended. His voice wasn't terribly forceful, either; he refused to think that it was probably because he thought he deserved to have Poe punish him... Or that he wanted Poe to order him around.

"I'm not going to punish you like a child, Ben." Poe pulled him closer, tighter. "I'm going to punish you as the man I love." He touched Ben's face, encouraging the younger man to look at him. "I love you, Ben." His words were plain and simple. He didn't play games. He didn't hide his feelings. In a softer, sadder voice, he continued, "I never stopped. No matter what you did. No matter what you did to me."

Ben stopped his struggle to get free at those words. Not that he'd been struggling that hard; he didn't want to hurt Poe, even if he wouldn't admit that fact to himself. Hearing Poe say he loved him, seeing in his eyes that it was true? It was like a fire warming freezing hands and a knife in the heart all at the same time. It felt wonderful to know he was loved, but he'd done so much wrong to the man currently holding him in place. So much he couldn't make up for. "I... I hurt you..." he finally whispered, in a broken voice, his fear and shame at his actions carrying in his voice. It was impossible to hide how guilty he felt. It was also impossible to hide how much he wanted Poe's love and acceptance. And Poe taking over? Punishing him? He wanted that too.

Poe leaned forward; let his lips brush gently and tenderly over Ben's. The kiss was light, but he pressed a bit more firmly before he pulled back. "I love you," he said again. "I'm not going to take you back to the Resistance, Ben. I'm going to take you to another planet. When we get there, once we're settled there, I'll punish you for your crimes against me. And I'll also claim you," he promised, cupping Ben's face in his hand.

Ben stared into Poe's eyes, his own wide, a bit haunted and in shock. This encounter hadn't gone at all the way he'd envisioned it. He thought he should protest and then fight. Get things back on track to the way they were meant to be. Instead, he found himself whispering, "Yes sir...."

Poe slid his hands down Ben's back, letting his fingers stroke over the bare skin of his arms. "How far away is your ship?" he asked.

"I..." Ben swallowed and cleared his throat to steady his voice. It wasn't easy, with Poe rubbing his arms. "...I landed near where your ship crashed and got swallowed by the earth..." he finally said, in a trembling voice.

Poe switched his focus to rubbing gently over Ben's legs, every so often giving a firm, possessive squeeze. "When you're feeling up to it, we'll go to your ship. I'll fly. I know where we're going."

"When I feel up to it?" Ben blinked owlishly, drawing his gaze up to look into Poe's eyes (he had been staring at Poe's hands rubbing and squeezing his legs). "You're the one who was hurt..." He frowned, unable to keep the guilt out of his voice.

"You didn't hide your hurts as well as you think you did," Poe said gently, still rubbing and squeezing the younger man's legs. "I might not have the same abilities as you do, but I know it's easy to harm using the Force." Mostly from firsthand experience from the man he now held.

Ben winced visibly at those words. He knew how Poe learned that the force could harm. "The pain is all in my head..." he said faintly. "No physical harm or injury done at all. I just... imagined it strongly enough I can't shake the remnants...." He hated being weak. Hated admitting weakness. But Poe had known how to read him when he was younger. (He'd never got away with anything when Poe noticed something, unlike both of his parents, who didn't usually see what he was up to. Of course, part of the reason they didn't see was they weren't usually there to look.) He turned his face away, trying to hide it from Poe's gaze.

"You need time to rest and recover. It'll be easier when we're away from here and it's just us on the other planet, but that doesn't mean we can't take some time now." Poe carefully shifted Ben so that the other man was laying across his lap. Not to spank him, but to begin carefully rubbing, squeezing and massaging tense, tired muscles.

Ben stiffened up as he found himself over Poe's lap, facing the ground. And then, suddenly, he was going limp, crying softly, not trying to get away, but vocally upset. "...Why... why would you care about me after everything?" he asked, in a voice that was strained with guilt and confusion.

"I love you." Poe came to a quick decision. They were sheltered enough from the sun and heat that he didn't need to worry about either of them burning and he stripped Ben of the rest of his clothes, leaving the younger man bare and vulnerable across his lap. "You have no idea how torturous it's been. Losing you. Having you turn against me. What you did to me? That didn't hurt nearly as much as losing you in the first place." His voice was hoarse with emotion, faint hitches to his breathing giving away how close he himself was to tears.

"I.... I didn't let myself think about anything after I turned... I couldn't... not if I didn't want to fall a... apart!" Ben began to sob, slumping further. Now that he was thinking about it, all his wrong deeds were hanging over his head. Even if Poe loved him and could forgive him, he knew he didn't deserve the older man. Didn't deserve to be taken home

Tears filled Poe's own eyes, strong emotions that he'd held back for years finally coming out. He'd held them back even when Ben had tortured him, but he couldn't hold them back. One hand rested on Ben's lower back, on the crest of his backside. The other hand on the back of his neck; not holding the younger man down, but because he had to hold onto him. "You're the only one with the power to hurt me that much. But it's not only the power to hurt you have," he whispered. "Coming back to me...coming home to me...letting me love you...you can heal me, Ben."

Was it really that simple? That easy? Was all he needed to do, to begin making things right, was go with Poe? To let Poe take him home? He couldn't believe it would be simple or easy, but if doing that made Poe feel better after everything, he had done... "I'll go with you..." he whispered, in a broken voice. "I will need to remove the tracking beacon so they cannot follow, but I will go with you..." He was still crying, though the sobbing had eased with his decision.

Both of Poe's hands began to rub, almost subconsciously. "We'll wait until nightfall. I'll carry you back to the ship, like this, so you can't use your clothing and your armor as a barrier between us. From now on, the only time you will be clothed is when there are other people around."

Ben's whole body flushed, but he didn't argue. It felt safer to obey Poe than it ever had to obey Snoke and he was happy for the older man's instructions. "Yessir..." His voice sounded as if he'd been crying, but it also sounded relieved and more at peace than he could remember being.

Poe continued to rub gently over Ben's neck and his bottom, giving a squeeze every so often. "I know you didn't bring any weapons. Did you bring any supplies with you at all?"

"No, sir..." This time, Ben sounded embarrassed. For being one of the most feared members of the first order and a leader in his own right, he'd come on this mission prepared less than a green rookie recruit. There was no good excuse.

Giving one thigh a firm squeeze, Poe commented, "The planet I'm taking you to isn't very far. When we get there...I have a place. I haven't been there in a while. It was...I wanted to settle down there years before. But there are rations there that'll hold us until we can get further supplies."

"Yessir..." Ben answered again, hesitantly. He wasn't certain what place he'd have in Poe's life; he knew Poe said he loved him and wanted him, but was he to be a kept pet? Was he meant to help Poe, more like a partner? What exactly did Poe expect or want from him? These questions spun around in his head, but he couldn't bring himself to ask them, afraid of upsetting the balance that had formed.

Continuing the rubbing and gentle squeezing, Poe said softly, "I don't want you for a slave or a pet, Ben. Even if I'm the one in charge and you belong to me, I want what I hoped for in the past. A relationship with you."

"...A partner?" Ben winced at how hopeful he sounded. It was hard not to sound hopeful, though. He'd chosen to follow Snoke and Snoke did want a slave, a pet, even if he claimed to want him as an apprentice.

"A partner," Poe confirmed. "My partner. And me to be yours. Perhaps not belonging in the same way as you'll belong to me, but there won't be anyone else for me. No one else. Only you. I've always wanted us to be together."

"You really wanted me before? You just... just couldn't act on it cuz I was too young?" Ben's voice was small and uncertain.

"It wouldn't have been right," Poe said honestly. "It could have been forcing you into something you weren't ready for. I wanted to wait for the right time." He paused. "I mentioned wanting to court you. I arranged the place I'm taking you to because I wanted to take you there before. So, I could court you properly at the right time, away from anyone else. Just the two of us."

".... You planned to take me after I finished training?" Ben asked, in a tiny voice. He hadn't thought Poe was interested. And he'd thrown everything in his life away when he ran from Luke and to Snoke. To find out what he had given up, what could have been, was difficult.

"I figured, by then, I could offer you a real home. An actual life. I grew up living on the streets without anything. Stealing what I couldn't barter for." Poe squeezed the nape of his neck. "I figured, by the time your training was over, I would have saved up enough for us to live comfortably together."

"And then I went and ruined everything by running away... turning on my family and friends and everything that meant anything to me..." Ben's voice was full of self-loathing.

"No. Not ruined everything," Poe disagreed. "No matter what your crimes, you're not beyond hope. You've put yourself in my hands. I love you. I'll take you away from here, away from the First Order, even away from the Resistance. And then, once you're ready, we can reach out to your parents. Your family."

"You're family..." Ben said firmly, if quietly. "I'm home with you...."

"And I won't let you go," Poe promised. "But your Mom and your Dad miss you, so badly. I won't force you to reach out to them, but if you do want to, I'll support you. I'll be by your side."

Ben bit his lip. "Maybe... I... I don't know if I can face them after everything. Not yet...." Especially not knowing that Snoke wanted him to kill his father. He shuddered, tears springing to his eyes again. "If you hadn't caught me... Snoke's plans... woulda destroyed mamma and dadda...." he admitted, in a choked voice. He didn't go into details, but he'd admit it all if Poe asked. Better Poe know the monster he currently held onto.

"I have got you, though," Poe murmured. "You're not his. Not anymore. You're mine. I love you."

"Not his... yours..." Ben mumbled softly, relaxing at the words a little. "...Me too..." he said in response to the declaration of love, afraid if he said 'I love you' back in the normal way, something would go cosmically wrong. He stayed still, waiting for Poe to decide it was time to go, but he couldn't help noting that the sun was rapidly setting. Soon, it would be dark.

Noticing the setting sun, Poe carefully helped Ben to stand and then stood up himself. "I'm going to take you back to the ship now. If you can, warn me of anything hostile."

"Yessir... I will..." Ben was already on alert. "...Should I redress? Or carry my clothes...?"

Poe picked up the undershirt and began to dress the younger man in it. "I'll put this on you...the rest of the clothes, we'll carry. But I won't take the armor or the mask with us," he stated.

Ben pouted slightly. "I made that mask..." He didn't ask about the armor. "Where are my boots?" he asked, in a little less of a pout. He doubted Poe wouldn't want him to wear those.

"It also gives you something to hide behind." Poe retrieved Ben's boots and then carefully knelt to put them on the younger man.

"So, I hafta get rid of it?" Ben was whining. He wrinkled his nose at hearing his tone and quickly quieted, blushing a bit.

Standing, Poe reached out to stroke the side of Ben's face. "I don't think either of us need the reminder of what you looked like when you were torturing me."

Ben's eyes went wide at that comment and he paled, quickly turning his head to kiss Poe's palm. "No, sir... we don't... I'll leave it..." he promised in a shamed whisper, tears welling in his eyes again.

Poe leaned forward to brush his lips against Ben's in another tender, gentle kiss. "If you still want to wear a mask at times, maybe you can make one that has positive emotions for both of us," he suggested.

Ben gave a faint smile at that. "I don't need a mask with you..." he admitted, almost shyly. The mask was to induce fear among those he led, so they would realize he was strong enough and deserved to lead. Now? He wasn't going to be leading anyone and if he ever did lead again, it wouldn't be by fear. At this point, a mask was just a security blanket; and if Poe didn't want him to have it, then.... "You'll be my security blanket," he whispered, almost to himself, even though it seemed it was directed at Poe.

"I'll take care of you." Poe carded his fingers through Ben's hair. "Love you. Cherish you. Keep you with me." He wrapped his arms around the younger man, brushing a kiss against Ben's neck.

Ben shivered. "I will too... take care of you... as much as I'm able..." he responded quietly. It was a promise. He slanted his head, offering his neck to Poe.

Poe kissed a bit more firmly and then shifted his hold on the younger man, preparing to lift Ben.

"Wait!" Ben wasn't loud, but the word was emphatic, and he tried to step back without pulling out of Poe's arms. "You were hurt... quite badly... almost all of it my fault. I... I'm not small and carrying me will aggravate your injuries and... I don't want to hurt you worse..." His voice ended in a guilt-filled whisper.

Pausing, Poe let his fingers stroke over the side of Ben's face. "All right." His voice was calm. Accepting. "I'll save the carrying for when I'm fully recovered." He grasped Ben's hand; squeezed gently. "Thank you."

Realizing that Poe was listening to his concerns did more than calm Ben's fear that he might hurt the older man. It helped him trust that Poe was telling the truth; he didn't want a slave or a pet. He'd listen to Ben's opinions and judge them on their merit. He wouldn't force his own opinion if Ben's made more sense. He squeezed Poe's hand back gently. "Thank you..." he whispered back.

Poe raised Ben's hand to his lips, kissing it gently, before asking, "Will it affect your force abilities if we walk back to your ship like this? Holding hands?"

Ben shook his head. "No, sir... it might actually help. I can focus further out if you're leading me. I'm less likely to walk off the side of a cliff that way...." He grinned impishly.

Poe smiled at that, letting his amusement show, and pressed a kiss to Ben's forehead. "I love you." Kissing each of Ben's cheeks, he then began to lead the younger man back the way they'd come.

Ben blushed and smiled at that, letting his own love for Poe shine through in his gaze. He then began to focus on everything around them, letting Poe know when they would need to be more careful because of nearby animals or possible people. When they reached the area where his ship was parked, he led Poe through a safe path so that they didn't fall into the earth. "I just need to remove the tracking beacon..." he said softly, waiting for Poe to give permission before letting go of his hand to do so. He didn't think Poe would object, but it was also possible Poe would feel better removing it himself.

Poe nodded, gently squeezing Ben's hand before releasing it. "Go ahead," he directed softly. Looking over the ship, he continued, "I'm going to keep you close to me while we're on board. Settled between my knees. When I don't need to directly pilot, I'm going to be touching you. Stroking you. Kissing you." He paused, so he could see Ben's reactions. So, the younger man could voice a protest if he needed to.

Ben shivered at the words but didn't protest. As scary as it was, the idea of Poe having that much control over him and what was done to his body also felt good. It didn't take him long at all to remove the tracking beacon and he was moving back into Poe's reach. "Should I take off my shirt in the ship?" he asked hesitantly. Poe still had all his other clothes that he could keep. If he removed his shirt, the only thing he'd be wearing was his boots.

"And your boots, too." Poe wrapped his arm around Ben's waist, rubbing his hip, and guided the younger man onto the ship.

Ben swallowed. "Yessir..." he said, more meekly than anyone had heard him being since he was a child. He carefully removed his boots and set them in a locked cupboard and then removed his shirt, folding it and placing it on the stack of clothing Poe had placed on top of the boots. Once everything was inside the cupboard, he watched as Poe closed the lid and locked it, ensuring that his belongings would stay safely in place and not end up flying around and hitting them in the face if something happened while they were flying. He waited for Poe to tell him how to sit.

Taking Ben's hand again, Poe led him over to the pilot's chair and sat down. He removed his own shirt, folding it and then placing it on the floor of the ship before encouraging Ben to settle on the shirt, so he wouldn't have to sit on the hard floor. Poe spread his knees enough so that the younger man fit in between them, facing him.

Ben settled between Poe's legs, looking up at the older man. He was surprised that the position didn't make him nervous or feel the need to assert his own dominance. To the contrary, he felt more at ease and protected in this position. He made sure to settle into a comfortable position that would be easy to hold for a long period of time. He didn't know how far away the planet Poe planned to go to was.

As soon as he didn't need to pilot the ship actively, Poe moved his hands from the controls to Ben's body. He stroked down the younger man's back, giving his hips a possessive squeeze. He then leaned his head forward, kissing Ben's neck.

Ben held still, but as soon as Poe's lips were within reach, he quickly kissed him back. He leaned on the older man heavily. It had been a very long time since he had felt safe enough, at ease enough, to relax. Doing so now, it quickly became clear how worn and tired he was.

Noticing, Poe carded his fingers through Ben's hair, kissing him gently and tenderly. "You can sleep," he murmured. "I'll watch over you."

"Yessir..." Ben smiled bleakly at Poe, kissing him back, before laying his head on the older man's thigh and closing his eyes. Within moments, he was asleep.

Poe ran his fingers through Ben's hair, every so often brushing a kiss over his head when he didn't need to fly. As promised, he kept watch over the younger man.

Ben hadn't slept so deeply in a long time. Normally, he needed to be able to wake quickly; something a deep sleep wouldn’t allow. But despite everything, he trusted Poe. He knew Poe would physically protect him. His own mental shields would keep Snoke out of his head.

Poe let Ben sleep until they reached their destination, bringing the ship in to land on the pad outside his building. He then stroked along Ben's cheek. "It's time to wake up," he said softly.

Ben nuzzled against Poe's leg like a puppy, slowly waking. "Where are we?" he asked, with a yawn.

"Home." Poe carefully stood them both up and wrapped his arm around Ben's waist, kissing his neck. "I want to get some food in you and then you can sleep some more."

"...'Kay..." Ben said, in a small voice. He was very submissive and agreeable. He knew he'd need his energy to tell Poe everything he needed to tell him... everything he needed to confess.

Poe collected Ben's belongings and led the younger man off the ship towards the building. He pressed his hand against the scanner next to the door and a light swept over both him and Ben.

"Welcome, Poe. Welcome, Ben," a female voice said.

Ben blinked at having the voice name him. "You..." His voice caught in his throat as he realized Poe had to have planned this even before he knew Ben would surrender to him.

"I told you. I've wanted you, wanted a relationship with you, for a long time." Poe took Ben's hand and squeezed it gently. "She's going to mother you," he warned. "She does me every time I can bring myself to come back here."

"She?" Ben looked around to find the source of the female voice.

As Poe guided Ben into the building, a silver, streamlined droid came over to them, abandoning a pot cooking. "Ben! I'm so happy you're here!" If a droid could smile, she'd be beaming from ear to ear. "I'm making your favorite stew. Do you need the temperature turned up? Are you warm enough?"

Ben blinked. "You made my favorite stew?" he asked in surprise. The last time he'd had that stew was before he left.

"Poe made sure I know all of your likes and dislikes for when he could bring you home," the droid said. She turned towards Poe and cocked her head in a very human motion. "Sit down. You're injured," she said.

"It's not that bad," Poe replied, almost like a reflex.

"No... she's right... you need to sit. You were hurt..." Ben couldn't keep the guilt out of his voice.

"And you programmed me to disregard comments like that. To set a good example for Ben."

"Yeah. What was I thinking, doing that?" Poe spoke with a small amount of humor in his voice as he carefully led Ben over to the table, moving the two chairs so they were next to each other. When he sat down and encouraged Ben to sit as well, their thighs pressed together.

Exhaling slowly, Poe wrapped his arm around Ben's shoulders and rested his lips against the younger man's hair.

"When the stew is ready, I will check and treat the wounds." The droid moved back over to the pot, glancing at Ben. "Is the temperature comfortable enough for you?"

"It is fine... thank you..." Ben answered, flushing slightly, since he was naked. Even if she was a droid, she seemed a bit too knowing. He waited to see if she commented on how his body was reacting to being chilly. He could ignore it, due to his force training, but his body was still affected.

"You seem cold." The droid's tone was laced with concern. "Your comfort and wellbeing are important." She filled two bowls with stew and placed one each in front of the men. Then, she retrieved a bowl of water and a cloth.

When Poe had removed his shirt, some of the material had stuck to his wounds and she began to clean them.

Ben ignored the observation. He was afraid if he disagreed with her assessment, it would draw Poe's attention. And then he was noticing Poe's wounds. Guilt speared through him. "I... I'm sorry..." he said, in a strained voice, tears pooling in his eyes.

Poe reached out and squeezed Ben's knee, then took his hand; raised it to his lips and kissed it. "I love you."

"You love me... and I hurt you!" Ben choked out, barely holding onto his emotions. He didn't deserve the catharsis of tears and he didn't deserve forgiveness; which he suspected Poe would immediately give if he began sobbing out his remorse.

Poe wrapped his arms tight around Ben, kissing the side of the younger man's neck. "I love you," he repeated. "And if you love me too, then I believe we can get through anything. So long as we're together."

"I...  I do... but I don't deserve you..." Ben said, in a tiny voice.

"If we all got what we deserved, none of us would have anything," Poe said. "I not only love you, Ben, but I need you and I want you too. It's been a long time since I felt whole."

Ben smiled crookedly at the observation, unable to find fault with it. "I'm all broken pieces, jumbled up in thin skin. If I fill the hole you've had, then you are the only container that can hold me together..." he admitted hesitantly.

Poe kissed the side of Ben's head. "I'm so happy you're home. I'm so happy you're with me."

The droid stood, having cleaned up Poe and scanned his body for further injuries. "Did you crash your speeder again? You have a couple of cracked ribs. A nasty bump on the back of your head." She walked round the other side and began to check Ben over. "You need to eat. Both of you."

"Do you need help binding his ribs?" Ben asked the droid, wanting to help in any way he could.

"Eat something first," the droid said, her voice sounding concerned. "You might not carry so many physical wounds, but your body shows clear signs of neglect and strain. I will turn the heating up and fetch bandages while you two eat."

Poe reached out and tugged Ben carefully against his side. With one hand, he picked up the younger man's spoon, raising the food to Ben's lips; with his other hand, he fed himself.

Ben opened his mouth and took in the spoonful of food without thought, before reaching to take it into his own hand to feed himself. He didn't know how the droid could tell he was strained and neglected. Being under Snoke's control, he didn't tend to sleep enough. Or eat enough. But how the droid knew.... Would she be able to tell the myriad ways Snoke had injured him in punishment?

Poe slipped his hand into Ben's free one, squeezing gently. He fed himself, keeping an eye on Ben to make sure the younger man ate. "After we've both rested, I'll show you the bathing area. There's a hot spring here. Also, clean clothes here for you to wear. For both of us to wear."

"You're going to allow me clothes?" His voice was hesitantly teasing; Poe had indicated he'd remain naked whenever it was just the two of them.

"When and if we leave here," Poe commented. "And if we do get any visitors. But otherwise...no barriers." He wrapped his arm around Ben's waist, squeezing gently. "Nothing between us, Ben. Not anymore."

“I’ll try the clothes on... then put them safely away until needed....” Ben said solemnly, not worried at all that he was to be naked... vulnerable... to Poe. It made everything easier. No hiding meant if he needed help, Poe would immediately know.

Poe nodded. "And anything else you need or want we can get for you." He kissed Ben's neck. "I love you. You've made me so happy, Ben. Coming back to me."

“After... after our memories blended... I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t hurt you. I had to go back to you.” Ben gave a small smile, then looked down, finishing his food.

Finishing his own food, Poe squeezed Ben's hand, raising it to his lips, and glanced up as the droid returned.

"Was it satisfactory?" the droid asked Ben, almost anxiously.

Ben blinked, giving the droid a confused look before realizing she was asking about the stew. "Ye... yes. It was almost exactly as I remembered it," he answered. "Thank you." He paused before asking sheepishly, "What should I call you?"

"I don't have a name." The droid moved round to Poe's side. "Would you hold the bandage in place here?" She indicated the spot on the older man.

"I never got round to naming her," Poe admitted, his voice sheepish...and a little sad.

"Of course." Ben quickly moved to do as the droid requested. "What would you like to be called?" he asked quietly.

The droid looked at him as she carefully wrapped Poe's ribs up. "Is there a name that has meaning to you?" she asked, almost sounding hopeful. "I would like to be called something meaningful."

"I..." Ben's voice caught in his throat. "...Hope... I... it's been so long since I had it. Now...." He swallowed, his eyes looking down again.

"I like Hope," the droid said.

"It has meaning for both of us." Poe took Ben's hand again.

Ben gripped Poe's hand tightly. "What now?" His voice was hoarse.

"Sleep now," Poe replied. "We both need to rest. In the morning, I'll show you around our home. We can check the hot springs."

"There are plenty of blankets in your room," Hope said. "And I have adjusted the temperature to allow for the lack of clothing."

Ben blushed. "Thank you, Hope..." he said gratefully. He stood and waited for Poe to lead him to where they would sleep.

Poe stood up carefully and wrapped his arms around Ben, leading the younger man towards their room, which was on the same floor as the main room.

Ben paused as he noticed there was only one bed. "I... you might not want to sleep next to me. I have built walls to keep Snoke out, but I still have nightmares...."

"Honestly, kid, I'm gonna sleep a lot better with you in my arms than if we were separate," Poe said. "Hope normally chides me for not sleeping well when I can bring myself to come here."

Ben looked up at that. "If you are sure..." he said softly.

"I'm sure I want and need to be close to you. That I want to soothe you through nightmares and make sure you know you're safe and that you belong." Poe guided Ben towards the bed. "I might not be able to claim you yet, but I'll take off the rest of my clothes. So, no barriers exist between us at all." He drew Ben in for a gentle kiss.

Ben swallowed hard, but moved into Poe's arms, returning the kiss willingly. "I... I would like that, I think."

Poe let go of Ben with one hand, removing his boots and then the rest of his clothing. Then, he carefully and gingerly lay back on the bed, gently pulling the younger man with him.

Ben carefully settled into Poe's arms, careful not to jostle him or press on his wounds. "I... I'm sorry. I hurt you so bad..." His voice was small and subdued. Even though he'd been torturing Poe, he hadn't realized how badly he was hurting the older man.

Poe wrapped his arms firmly around Ben, kissing the side of his neck. "I know. I forgave you already, Ben," he murmured, brushing another kiss against the younger man's hair. "It wasn't all your doing, though. Some of the injuries were from the crash."

Ben sniffed, chagrined to hear how close to tears he sounded. "Maybe not, but I did enough..." he admitted, in a regret filled voice.

Stroking his hand down Ben's back, Poe kissed his ear gently. "You're here with me now. Even if it hurts on the outside, I'm calm and at peace on the inside. We'll deal with what happened between us," he promised. "I'll punish you, hard enough that I don't think you'll have any doubt in your mind that you've paid."

Ben breathed in sharp and deep at those words, before letting the breath out slowly and relaxing into Poe's arms. He snuggled close, pressed as close to Poe as possible. "I will feel punished and never forget myself again. I am Ben Solo... who wanted to be Ben Solo-Dameron... not Kylo Ren..." he whispered.

Poe pressed a kiss to the side of his neck, tightening his arms around the younger man. "That's not impossible," he whispered. "If it's what you want. I know it's what I wanted. I could never have given up on finally being with you. I could never have given up on you." Even when it hurt so bad, he couldn't face the reminder of the life he'd hoped to build with Ben.

"I do want that... I love you... I wasted... lost... so much time. I thought it was too late for me." Ben closed his eyes tightly, tears seeping out.

Poe kissed away his tears. "You haven't lost me," he murmured. "I love you, Ben. I love you so much. I'm going to hold on tight to you and never let go. No matter what."

"Even though I lost my way. Even though I did horrible things..." Ben swallowed.

"You came back to me." Poe kissed his lips. "And you put yourself in my hands. Where you belong."

"Where I always belonged and need to be..." Ben kissed back. "I'll do better."

"I know." As he had done on the planet, Poe allowed one hand to gently grasp the back of Ben's neck; the other to rest against his backside. The possessive contact was a comfort to him.

Ben shivered slightly, letting his head rest on Poe's chest. The possessiveness was comforting. It didn't take long before he fell asleep.

Poe's own eyes closed, and he slipped into sleep, holding tightly onto Ben like his life depended on it.

***

Several days went by, Ben helping Hope take care of Poe as much as possible. Watching closely to make certain he was healing. Helping him when Poe was asleep, using some of his own life force to encourage faster healing. He never did that when Poe was awake, not wanting the older man to protest or get upset with him.  He had a feeling that was going to change soon, though. The day before, Hope had commented on the fact Poe was healing very quickly. This morning, she commented on the fact that Ben was still run down and seemingly malnourished, despite regular sleep and healthy meals. Poe wasn’t stupid.

Poe had noticed the same thing, but it wasn't until Hope commented that Ben was run down that he decided it was time he took full charge.

After breakfast, Poe wrapped his arms around Ben and led the younger man back through to the bedroom. He sat down and carefully drew Ben down onto his lap. "You've been using your abilities, haven't you?"

Ben looked away, debated lying, but it hadn't been something he'd thought he could keep secret for long. He'd gotten away with it longer than he'd thought he would. So, he didn't lie. Looking back up into Poe's eyes, almost in challenge, he answered in a defiant tone, "Yes."

Poe stroked his thumb over Ben's lips and cupped the side of his face, speaking in a low, serious voice. "I don't want to force you not to use your abilities, Ben. But you can't use them when it's detrimental to your health. If you can't hold back yourself, I will step in and take control with that too."

"I was helping you!" Ben said defensively, trying to get Poe to agree with him that it was okay for that reason. "How would you stop me, anyway?!" He winced as the question came out just as defiantly as his original 'yes' had been. What was wrong with him? He didn't want to pick a fight with Poe.

Poe tightened his hold on Ben. "I don't want you hurting yourself to help me. You're too important. And as for stopping you, you've gone far too long without consequences. So, I will handle it the same way I'm going to deal with your actions towards me. I will spank you."

Ben's eyes widened. "Y... you'll spank me if I use my powers?" His voice was faint and worried.

"Without good reason," Poe clarified. "You didn't need to help me heal, kid. You healed me emotionally when you came back to me."

"You had broken ribs and cuts and deep bruising that I'd caused...." Ben swallowed. "I needed to undo what I did. Even if I couldn't undo it all."

"I know you feel guilty, Ben." Poe carded his fingers through the younger man's hair. "If it wouldn't be detrimental to your health, I wouldn't stop you. But I know you've been mistreated since you left." He stroked down Ben's spine. "I promised I would punish you enough that you'd feel like you paid. I don't think we should put it off any longer. I love you. I won't leave you hurting from guilt."

Ben's breath caught in his throat. Part of him wanted to disagree with Poe's assessment; but again, he didn't want to lie. Instead, he asked, "You'll punish me now?"

"I'm going to put you over my knee and spank you. Hard," Poe said, his voice serious and a bit sad. "It's going to be the most intense spanking you've ever had. And as I suspect even one spanking, no matter how severe, isn't going to be enough to help you get over your guilt, I'll give you two days and then start giving you a minor spanking every morning."

Ben closed his eyes at the promise; that's what it felt like, a promise to take care of him, and swallowed hard again. "I... haven't been spanked since dadda caught me trying to sneak off in the Falcon when I was nine. That was the hardest he ever spanked me..." He left unasked, though the tone made it clear he was wondering, if Poe would spank that hard... or harder.

"Not sure how hard he spanked you then, but I suspect it was more suited to your age at the time," Poe said. "I won't damage you. I won't cause you permanent or even really lasting harm." He stroked Ben's cheek. "But I'll take care of that guilt. So, it doesn't linger between us. So, it doesn't fester and hurt you like a wound that hasn't been treated properly." He kissed Ben's neck.

Ben shivered at the kiss; then, deliberately, so it would be obvious he was accepting Poe's decision, he slanted his head, exposing his neck to Poe in a very submissive gesture.

Poe kissed a bit more firmly, before whispering, "You mean so much to me, Ben. I'm going to look after you. Take care of you. Love you." He kissed his shoulder. "You've made me so happy."

"I love you, Poe... want to... want to be yours... belong to you..." Ben whispered, looking down again. "Need to be right with you."

Kissing Ben's shoulder again, Poe moved back on the bed, letting himself rest against the wall, so that he could drape the younger man over his lap, making sure Ben's legs and upper body were supported. Giving a gentle stroke down Ben's back, he then began to smack; not too hard at first but covering every inch of skin from the crest to thighs.

Ben forced himself to relax, to accept what was being done. He knew, though, that eventually his body would respond. To face that point head on, he put his hands behind his back so Poe could hold him in place easier when he was no longer able to hold himself in place.

Poe grasped Ben's hands, holding them in place, squeezing gently. He continued the mild swats until the younger man's bottom was a uniform pink. Then, having completed the warmup, he began to smack harder, delivering three swats on top of each other before moving on.

Ben's quick intake of breath was the only indication that the difference in force was felt. He still managed to keep himself relaxed over Poe's knee and hold still. It wasn't easy, but he'd had worse pain, so he managed. He knew he'd be more visibly reacting the longer this went on.

Starting over from the top, Poe spoke in a soft voice. "I love you, Ben. I love you so much. And it felt like my heart was ripped out when you ran. It was the worse pain I've ever experienced."

"I'm sorry. I was scared. Scared and selfish and a fool..." Ben said, in a tight voice, his eyes tearing up. His body was tensing up as well; it was obvious both in how his bottom didn't wiggle as much when Poe's hand landed and in the visible clenching of his cheeks.

Poe paused, letting his hand rub gently over Ben's bottom. While he had promised the younger man a hard, severe spanking, he couldn't bring himself to withhold affection during the punishment. "We've been on opposite sides for a long time, kid. Not anymore, though. You're home." He resumed spanking, Ben's backside beginning to redden under the smacks.

Ben let out a tiny gasp as Poe began again, the brief respite making it more noticeable when Poe spanked him. It hurt, a lot, even if it wasn't as damaging or painful as some of what Snoke put him through.  The real pain was in knowing why he was in this position. What he had done to deserve it. Tears began to run down his face, and he tried not to tense up, but he was only a little successful.

After covering down to Ben's thighs once more, Poe paused again to rub the red skin. "You are not a bad person, Ben. You are not evil. You were never beyond saving."

"I willfully ignored what I knew, deep down, to be right... what does that make me?" Ben admitted, the fact he was crying clear in his voice.

"Stubborn. Headstrong. Too afraid to admit you were wrong." Poe pulled Ben closer and tighter against his stomach. "You made a mistake. But you did the right thing. You came back to me." He began to smack again, this time a bit harder and faster.

"I... I almost didn't!" And yes. That came out in a sob. It was much more difficult remaining unaffected by the pain when his emotions were so raw.

"Yeah, you needed a bit of encouragement," Poe agreed. "You could have used the force on me. Even if you didn't hurt me, you could have pushed me away. You didn't. You listened. You let me bring you home. That says a lot about you, kid. It says that you never fell too far to go beyond redemption. The moment I held you in my arms, I didn't feel any pain. All I felt was how much I loved you." Ben's bottom was a deep red, bordering on scarlet, now and Poe moved his hand a bit lower, adjusting Ben enough to expose his sit spots. He began focusing swats there and to the top of the younger man's thighs.

"H... had to listen. Had to come home!" Ben sobbed, finally unable to keep himself still. He began to wriggle in a desperate bid to find relief for his poor backside.

"I wouldn't have let you go." It was hard, hearing Ben's tears. Knowing that he was the cause of them. But Poe also knew he couldn't stop the punishment too soon. He'd promised Ben that he would make sure the younger man felt punished enough. That Ben was continuing to use his abilities when it was detrimental to his health only drove that further home.

Pulling Ben tighter against his stomach, wrapping his arm around the younger man's waist to hold him still, Poe continued to focus the swats to Ben's sit spots and thighs.

"You... you never did 'fore either!" Ben sobbed, referring to when he was a child. "Not till they sent me 'way an’ you had too...."

"And I won't," Poe promised. "I won't ever let you go. Nothing and no one will ever make me let go of you."

"I'm sorry, Poe! I'm so sorry... was bad... didn't even care then, but I do now... an 'm sorry..." Ben choked on his tears.

"No, my precious one," Poe said, his voice gentle, low, reassuring. "Not 'bad'. You made mistakes. Mistakes that pulled you away from your family. Pulled you away from me. But you're here now. You're home now. I love you. And I've forgiven you. All I wanted, all I ever wanted, was to have you with me."

"Never ever leave 'gain... learned my less'n" Ben declared, still crying and squirming, though his strength was ebbing. His bottom and thighs were so very sore.

"Good. I'm very glad to hear it." Poe stroked down over Ben's bottom, rubbed over his thighs. "Because if you did leave me again, my precious one, I would track you down. Without hesitation. I wouldn't let you get away."

"Track me down, 'n bring me back?" Ben sounded weary. He also sounded small and hopeful. He'd given up completely. Surrendered to Poe. He only needed his body to catch up with his mind and emotions.

"Track you down and bring you back," Poe promised. "Bring you back home. You're mine. Not a pet. Not a slave. Mine and I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to marry me." His voice was open, almost raw with honesty.

"I am yours... and you're mine!" Ben managed to convey a sense of possession even while crying. His squirming was becoming feeble, but finally, his body was just too tired to fight, and he slumped over Poe's lap, crying quietly and lying still and accepting of the smacks that had heated his bottom to near unbearable levels.

Poe let his hand gently pat Ben's bottom; not smacking, but enough to keep the sting active. "We belong with and to each other. You're everything for me, Ben."

"And you forgive me..." Ben sounded more at peace than he had.

"Always," Poe answered. "I would forgive you for anything. I will never stop loving you."

"I love you..." Ben said, in a soft, tired voice that hid nothing. It was complete truth.

Poe continued to gently pat Ben's bottom and thighs, but only for a few moments before he began to rub again. His other hand squeezed Ben's hands that he still held. "I'll give you everything, my precious one."

"I want to give you everything... it's why I shared my life force with you..." Ben said quietly.

"But that hurt you," Poe said softly. "You were already in bad shape when I brought you home. Your body tired and neglected. I could see you'd been poorly treated."

"I didn't mean to upset you... just wanted to make it right. Cuz I was the one that hurt you..." Ben started crying again.

Poe immediately helped Ben up, gathering the younger man into his arms on his lap, and kissing Ben's neck. "I know, my precious one. If you're at full strength and won't hurt yourself doing it, then I would let you." He stroked and then squeezed the nape of Ben's neck. "I'll take care of you. Give you limits when it's harder for you to set them yourself."

"So... it's not no, all the time? Just... just sometimes?" Ben sniffled, surprised he didn't feel any anxiety or irritation at the implications that Poe would be in charge of him for important things, such as when he could use the force. Given what he'd done, he figured it was deserved, losing parts of his freedom. If anyone was going to be in charge of him, he'd rather it be Poe.

"When it's necessary. When using your abilities would be dangerous or harmful for you." Poe stroked the side of Ben's face. Kissed his lips tenderly. "I forgive you for everything. I love you. The limits are to keep you safe and healthy. Not because I don't trust you."

"Okay... you can be in charge of me..." Ben blushed as he realized how much like a child that made him sound and what it implied about him and Poe, but he didn't take the words back.

"Thank you for trusting me." Poe kissed his lips again.

Ben kissed back, squirming into a more comfortable position. Poe was right. He wouldn't forget the punishment any time soon.

Poe kissed him a bit deeper, one hand holding Ben's face; the other gently squeezing the nape of his neck.

Sniffling slightly, Ben squirmed a little more. "...Bottom burns..." He pouted, letting his head rest on Poe's shoulder. Just because he had needed to be punished hard to feel like he wasn't getting away with his actions didn't mean he wasn’t going to milk it for all he was worth to get sympathetic cuddles after.

Poe cuddled Ben a bit tighter, kissing the top of his head and then his neck. "I picked up some healing ointment I can rub in. To get rid of the worst of the burning." He stroked his fingers through the younger man's hair.

Ben sniffled again, nuzzling against Poe. "That's okay..." he said, in a less pouty tone and more apologetic. "It's not unbearable...  and I deserved it..." he whispered.

Kissing him again, Poe murmured, "It's okay if you do want some rubbed in. Spanking you isn't about revenge or causing you intense pain, Ben. It's about helping you feel like you've paid for your actions."

"I know..." Ben looked up shyly and kissed Poe back. "I can handle it... but..." He bit his lip uncertainly. "...If it will help you feel better or you want to, I... I want to obey you...." He finished the last in a whisper so low, he wasn't sure Poe would hear. He wasn't sure he should want to do something like that, even if he probably needed it.

Poe kissed a bit more firmly, gently squeezing the back of Ben's neck. "I love you." He brushed a kiss over the younger man's ear. "I'll rub in some ointment. But you don't have to move. I can still cuddle you." He reached for the jar.

"Thank you..." Ben said softly, nuzzling and cuddling closer.

Poe began to carefully rub the ointment into Ben's bottom and thighs, periodically kissing the younger man.

Ben found himself blinking to keep himself awake as he snuggled. Poe applying the ointment was soothing, even if it didn't completely remove the pain.

"You can sleep," Poe murmured, noticing Ben was struggling to stay awake. "I'm here. I'll keep watch over you."

"Okay, m..." Ben's voice trailed off before he could finish what he was saying. He'd got more sleep since Poe got hold of him than he had since running from his uncle, from his family.

"I love you so much." Poe wrapped his arms tighter around Ben, snuggling him close.

Ben didn't say anything, his breathing indicating that he wasn't going to hear Poe unless he was woken up first. He hadn't felt this safe and protected in years and his body was taking advantage of that fact.

Poe didn't wake Ben or disturb the younger man in any way. Instead, he just cuddled and snuggled Ben close, murmuring softly words that were loving and affectionate, in the hope that they would give Ben good dreams.

***

Later that day, Ben was awake again. He stayed as close to Poe as humanly possible without being on his lap or in his arms; as much as being held by the older man helped him, he knew he needed to develop a routine where he could feel useful; like he could contribute, even if only in a small way. His backside was still very sore, so he found himself getting easily distracted, although Poe was more a distraction than his sore butt. Every time the rebel pilot moved, Ben's eyes were drawn to him and then he couldn't help but stare, only looking away when Poe would glance at him. It was a bit embarrassing, really. He'd had a crush when younger; it had developed into more than a crush, but he couldn't help reacting in the same way.

Poe very quickly noticed the way Ben would look at him and then glance away again. After they finished lunch, he wrapped his arms around Ben and kissed his shoulder. "I'm thinking we should go down to the hot springs," he murmured into the younger man's ear. "Bathe together...loosen you up so I can finally claim you."

Ben shivered at the kiss, then whimpered at the suggestion. "...I'd like that..." he managed to say, in a trembling, high pitched voice. Of course, it was visibly obvious he liked the idea as well and he turned bright red, because there was no way to keep Poe from noticing.

Poe kissed his neck and then gently grasped Ben's hand, leading the younger man first to the bedroom so they could get the supplies and then guiding him down towards the hot springs.

Ben followed along behind Poe, content to let himself be led by the hand. He didn't know where he was going, after all and even if it meant giving Poe complete control over him and trusting, part of him needed to do that. He needed to give Poe control; at least until he felt more at ease with himself and his new life direction. Until he could trust that he wouldn't fall back into old and bad habits.

Poe led Ben a level down, below ground, to a large cavern. It looked to be more natural than man-made, the hot springs formed of water flowing naturally.

"This is under the house? How did I not sense this?" Ben blinked in surprise, looking around at the cavern and the flowing springs.

"Perhaps there was no need to sense it." Poe carefully turned Ben to face him. "Would you care to remove my clothes?" he invited.

Ben smiled at the invitation, turning to face Poe. "I would..." he admitted quietly, before carefully beginning to undo Poe's clothing and remove it. Each article he removed, he carefully folded and set to the side, where it would stay clean and dry. Once Poe was completely naked, he moved into the older man's space, snuggling close.

Poe wrapped his arms tightly around Ben, kissing the side of his neck. "I love you so much," he whispered.

Ben slanted his head so Poe could reach his neck easier. "I know..." he said, in a slightly impish tone that also gave away that the feeling was mutual.

Poe gently nipped the skin, sliding his hands down Ben's spine before guiding the younger man towards the water. Putting what he'd brought to one side, he carefully moved them both into the water.

Ben let himself be led into the warm pool, giving a long, appreciative sigh. “...Feels so good..." He couldn't help moaning as the hot water began to ease muscle aches, he had ignored for so long he'd forgotten he had them.

Poe smiled at that. "I'm glad. You deserve to feel good." He kissed Ben's neck, sinking down into the water and drawing the younger man against him.

Ben let himself sink under the water, leaning into Poe, his body floating slightly in the water. He wrapped his arms around Poe's waist, holding on gently.

Poe let his hands slide down Ben's back, parting the younger man's legs, letting his fingers stroke the inner thighs. "You feel so good in my arms." He kissed Ben.

Ben kissed back languidly. He didn't attempt to direct Poe to do anything, content to lay in Poe's arms and let the other man control what was done.

His fingers still stroking Ben's inner thighs, Poe began to kiss down Ben's shoulder. Very carefully, he eased them back so that the younger man lay on his back in the water.

Ben let out a tiny sigh, letting himself lay back and float, his limbs loose and spreading out slightly like a starfish.

Poe began to kiss down Ben's body, starting from his forehead, going down to his chest, where he pressed a kiss to each nipple before engulfing one in his mouth.

Ben gasped, only managing not to jack-knife upward and sending himself under water because Poe had his hands under him, keeping him safely up. "...Sir!... Please...."

Poe pulled back, eyes narrowing in concern, and stroked Ben's face. "Too much?" he asked softly.

Ben shivered. "...No..." He finally whimpered, blushing darkly. "...F... felt real good. N... never felt..." He swallowed and blushed some more.

"It's a first time," Poe said softly. "Our first time. I don't want to do anything you don't like or are uncomfortable with."

"I... I'm not uncomfortable..." Ben whispered.  "Maybe... maybe go slow, though?" he said uncertainly. "...And don't let me push to go faster?" He bit his lip and looked away, embarrassed he had to ask for help with that.

Poe smiled. "I'm not going to let our first time be rushed, Ben. I want to make sure it's good for you. That you don't look back on this with any regrets." He let his fingers brush over the younger man's hips. "I've waited too long for you to mess things up now."

"I have many regrets, but I don’t believe I will ever regret giving myself to you." Ben's voice was raw in its honesty.

Kissing his lips gently, Poe murmured, "I want to make this as good for you as possible."

“I know you will...” Ben’s voice was filled with trust.

"Is there somewhere you'd like me to touch you?" Poe asked softly.

"Wh... what you were doing before?" Ben asked shyly, hopefully. Feeling Poe's warm mouth tugging at him had felt so good. His nipples were hard and aching slightly. His member was halfway to joining them in that condition.

Still keeping a tight hold on Ben, Poe lowered his mouth to the younger man's chest, engulfing his nipple once more.

The sound of pure lust and need that was Ben's moan caught him by surprise. Blushing darkly again, but unable to contain the greedy little sounds that begged for more, Ben pushed his shoulders back, which pushed his nipples up and out for easier access.

Poe sucked and licked until the nipple he was giving attention to was hard and pebbled in his mouth. Then, he moved to give the opposite nipple the same attention.

Ben quivered in Poe's hands. Whimpers, whines and tiny gasps filled the cavern. He'd never experienced such a feeling. By the time he was of an age to experiment, he was being trained as a jedi under his uncle. Anyone he might have hooked up with viewed him as off limits. When he'd run, he didn't trust any of those who also followed Snoke to let his guard down that much. And he retained enough of his morals that forcing someone he knew he could over-power or mind manipulate didn't appeal. That was ignoring the small voice in the back of his mind that continually reminded him that his heart was already taken, and he belonged to Poe.

Whatever the reason, though... he was a complete virgin, with a virgin's reactions.

Poe pulled back slowly, once the opposite nipple was reduced to the same state, and then let his fingers move a bit lower, gently brushing over Ben's member. Not taking hold, not yet, but just touching.

Ben shivered slightly at the ghostlike touch. His eyes sought out Poe's. His lust, desire and need were clear. He wasn't hiding anything. Not even the nervousness of the unknown. "Y... yours..." He whimpered, offering all of himself to the older man.

"Mine," Poe whispered back. "We belong to each other, Ben. No hiding. No holding back." He kissed the younger man's lips. "Where else would you like me to touch?"

Ben licked his lips, hesitantly asking, "...M... my... b... between my legs?" Poe had brushed over his member enough times that Ben wanted to give that part to his lover as well.

Poe let his fingers stroke over Ben's member, watching the younger man's face closely. "Tell me if it doesn't feel good," he directed.

Ben's quivery whine as Poe began to stroke sounded pained, but his eyes and his hips thrusting upward into Poe's hand made it clear it was a good pain. "Yessir..." he squeaked, face heating again. He'd been blushing so much since coming down to the caverns, he was sure his body must be glowing by now.

Poe stroked gently a bit more, eyes focused on Ben's face, and then began to make his strokes a bit firmer, surer.

Ben nearly gurgled from pleasure, his eyes almost rolling back in his head. "Poe... gonna... please..." he babbled.

"Go ahead," Poe murmured. "Let go for me. I want to watch. I love you."

As soon as Poe had given permission, Ben lost all control of his body. Wave after wave of release spurt from him, covering his belly, Poe's hand and sliding down into the water, leaving a milky cloud. As the last of his release left his body, he collapsed bonelessly; only Poe's hands supporting him kept him from going under water.

"Good," Poe whispered, kissing Ben's lips again. "My good boy. I love you. I have you. You belong to me."

"Yours... all of me yours..." Ben whispered, once he'd finally caught his breath. "You... you haven't come yet..." he noticed, with a hint of worry.

"I told you. I want to make this good for you." Poe stroked his fingers through Ben's hair. "I can wait."

"No rushing... " Ben smiled crookedly, knowing he would have pushed if Poe hadn't made his intentions clear.

"No rushing," Poe agreed. "We have time." Stroking the younger man's hair, he said softly, "I do want to marry you, Ben. Will you agree?" His voice was laced with hope.

"Yes.... I want to be with you forever!" Ben quickly agreed.

Poe smiled and kissed him, still stroking his hair. "I spent a long time hoping. I'm already prepared," he admitted quietly.

Ben closed his eyes, kissing Poe back. "We could have been happy if I hadn't..." He swallowed. "I lost myself for so long. You saved me... but I'm afraid. What if I lose myself again?"

"I won't let you," Poe promised. "If you start sliding down that path again, I'll put a stop to it. I'll draw you back to me."

Ben looked into Poe's eyes, searching and then nodded. "Okay... " he said. All his belief in Poe and acceptance of what he was told carried in his voice.

"You came back to me." Poe stroked the side of his face. "I won't be so foolish enough to let you go again."

"You didn't let me go the first time..." Ben pointed out. "You were training when they sent me to Uncle Luke. I know now, if you'd been there, you wouldn’t have let me go... not without you. You weren't given a chance to stop it." He swallowed. "They didn't know what we were to each other. I have to believe that they wouldn't deliberately pull us apart like that."

"I had to hide it." Poe carded his fingers through Ben's hair. "If the wrong people found out, things could have been difficult for us. For your parents."

Tears slid down his face at that. "Momma and Dadda... I always thought I was an afterthought for them. I hoped that was the case. Otherwise, what I did would hurt them so much... Sn...  Snoke always pointed out how I disappointed them. How they'd let me go and I needed to let them go if I... if I wanted to be at my full power." He shivered, then choked out, "I think he planned for me to kill Dadda... to prove myself. To cut myself free of the only things holding me back. The way he talked before you got me back. He wanted me to cross a line I could never recover crossing...." He looked away, ashamed that he'd even considered such a thing; ashamed that he'd let himself believe that doing something so heinous would help him gain clarity, focus and peace.

Poe kissed Ben's lips and stroked his hair. "You didn't cross that line, though. Your parents love you, Ben. They miss you. And they'll be happy that you're back. But while I think it's important to send them a message, you don't have to talk to them directly. Not until you feel ready."

"You send a message and Momma will never let you rest, demanding you bring me to her. Dadda will just come himself. If he's not too angry at me. And when he gets here..." Ben chuckled slightly, then shivered. He remembered what his parents would have done in the past. That was assuming they cared enough to react as they would have.

Poe stroked his fingers through Ben's hair, helping the younger man out of the bath so that he could dry him off. "What would you like me to do?" he asked seriously. "You can send a message directly yourself when you're ready. You have access to every bit of technology I own here. To everything I own."

"Part of me just wants to hide here with you and not tell anyone; as soon as we tell, Snoke will be more able to find us... come after you to get to me." He swallowed. "That's the coward's way, though. Is… is it possible for you to get Momma or Dadda to visit you? Without telling them why? Less chance of someone intercepting the communication...."

Poe nodded. "I can do that. I'll send the message and the coordinates in code. No one else has ever been here," he added. "Only me and now you."

"Th... that's good. If it is intercepted, Snoke wouldn't think I'm here. Not right away. It's safer... for all of you." Ben leaned forward, kissing Poe.

Poe returned the kiss, cupping Ben's cheek. "I'll send the message," he promised. "We do have ways of getting them through with less chance of them being intercepted." A wry look came over his face. "I should really check in with your Mom too. The last communication was before I was captured."

Ben’s eyes widened. "She is not going to be happy with you... waiting to let her know you escaped and are alive..." He couldn't help chuckling.

Poe smiled. "Once she gets here and sees the reason for my delay, I think she'll forgive me." He finished drying them both off and led Ben back up out of the cavern. He headed to one of the other rooms, leading the younger man with him, so that he could send the message.

Ben wanted to believe his mother would be happy to see him, so didn't disagree with Poe. He quietly followed behind, eyes roaming over his mate's body... checking to be certain Poe was healing right.

Poe sat down at the comm station, drawing Ben down to sit on his lap as he sent the coded message.

Ben managed to avoid squirming; although the need to squirm was as much about the fact he and Poe were naked and he was sitting on Poe's lap, as it was because he was sore from the spanking. Maybe more so. He found himself wanting to rub against his mate like a little tart.

Once the message was sent, Poe pressed a kiss to Ben's neck. "Depending on where they are, it might take them a little while to get here."

"Will you know when they arrive? Do I stay naked when they are here?" Ben asked quietly. He didn't really care, though it might be a little awkward. He'd lost any modesty he'd had long ago... it was one of the first 'lessons' Snoke had 'taught' him. The enemy couldn't use shame or embarrassment to break you if you had no shame and didn't embarrass. Still... it might upset his parents. He didn't know. At this point, Poe knew them better than he did.

"They should send me a message when they get here." Poe gently squeezed Ben's waist. "As for staying naked...I somehow don't think your pants would be staying in place even if I did dress you. And if they needed any proof that you're with me and no longer with the First Order, the lack of barriers will make that very clear."

Ben nodded at that. "I fear you're right on both counts..." he said, with a hint of amusement, willing to believe Poe knew what was best.

Poe kissed his neck again and then turned Ben's face towards him, gently kissing his lips. "I love you so much."

"I love you too...  so much." Ben smiled and kissed back.

Letting his fingers trace circles over Ben's hips, Poe kissed him a bit deeper, situating the younger man on his lap so they were facing each other.

Ben's breathing quickened and he opened for the kiss, allowing himself to rub against Poe with a needy little whine.

Poe didn't push for more, content to kiss and caress Ben. Every so often, his hands would gently squeeze along with tracing the circles.

Ben couldn’t understand how Poe could arouse him with just his kiss and a few gentle squeezes along with rubbing. Especially since he was avoiding any part of Ben's body that would typically cause arousal. But he was arousing him and quickly. Ben didn't push for more, though. Poe was in charge and Poe wanted to take things slow. Ben would accept that graciously... or mostly graciously. He couldn't stop the needy whimpers or whines and if his squirming put him in a good position if Poe wanted to claim more thoroughly? Well, he couldn’t help it. His body knew what it wanted, and he'd never been good at telling himself no. That was one of the reasons Poe taking charge of him was good. Poe could and would tell him no if necessary.

Poe pulled back gently from the kiss, cupping Ben's face in his hand. "I'm going to take you through to the kitchen. I think we should have something to eat. Drink, so you can replace some of what you lost."

Ben bit his lip and did his best to push his slight disappointment and not-so slight arousal down. Swallowing, he gave Poe a tiny smile and nodded. "Yessir...."

Poe stood Ben up and then stood himself, taking the younger man's hand and guiding him through to the kitchen.

Hope had already put out plates of food and glasses for them; and placed a cushion on Ben's chair.

"Thank you, Hope." Ben smiled at the droid and began to eat. He couldn't help smiling in amusement when Hope brought Poe out clothing and began to fuss over him, making sure his wounds were tended. He did his own fussing, if he were honest and didn’t stop fussing till Poe was in fresh bandages and warmly clothed. While he didn’t care about his own modesty, he didn't like the idea of anyone else seeing his mate naked; and he wasn't good at hiding the fact. So, he didn't try. Instead, he kept up a conversation with Poe, asking and answering questions that would help both adapt to their new situation.

****

Leia sat behind Han and Chewie on the non-descript flyer they'd bought for the trip. It was certainly no Falcon... but they didn't have time to look for the Falcon. Plus, it was better to not be noticeable. Poe hadn't indicated why they needed to meet him at the location he sent, but the fact it was encoded and gave such little information indicated it was dangerous. The less attention they had on them the better.

Han was following the coordinates sent in the coded message by Poe, frowning. "I'm thinking this might be the place he sometimes disappears to, if he's not been threatened or coerced by the First Order," he commented to both Leia and Chewie.

"He's never invited us here before... do you think they got to him? That it might be a trap?" Leia couldn't help being worried. Poe was the closest thing to a son she had after losing Ben so horribly. If she lost him too....

"It's possible," Han answered. "But if it is, they'd be expecting the Falcon. At least this way, we can see if there are any immediate threats before announcing our presence."

"Yes... and we brought Chewie, which he didn't ask for, so he can help us if needed..." Leia smiled at her old friend.

Chewie grumbled his agreement...and his concern for Poe as well.

Reaching the coordinates of the planet, Han commented, "It's pretty far outside the reach of the First Order. No planet-wide weapons systems showing up on the initial scan." He began the descent.

"Maybe this isn't a trap, but... if he was hurt really badly and needs help? It would explain why he waited so long to contact us..." And Leia's worry spiked again.

"Well, if necessary, I've got med-kits here. We can get him on the ship. Strap him in if needed." Han was talking as he brought the ship in and landed it at the area Poe had indicated.

Leia looked out the window, watching the entrance to the building, wondering who or what would come out to meet them.

Han watched as well, as the building's door opened, and Poe stepped out. "He's walking a bit stiffly, but he is walking. Can't see anyone with a blaster trained on him and he doesn't seem to be in distress." He stood up quickly to exit the ship, Chewie moving to follow.

Leia watched a second longer, then moved to follow her men. She'd make sure Poe was okay and then he was going to get an earful about not letting her know he was alive.

Poe smiled as the three of them approached, but his eyes scanned the ship worriedly. "You weren't followed, were you?"

Han reached out to cuff him affectionately on the ear. "How many years do you think I've been doing this for, kid?"

"Good point." Poe nodded. "I've got a fugitive inside. Want to make sure the First Order can't get their claws in him again." He turned to head back inside the building.

Raising his eyebrows, Han followed.

"You got a fugitive of the first order? This sounds like quite the story. If it's good enough, I might just spare you the lecture about not contacting me immediately... " Leia said dryly.

Figuring he'd let the evidence (or said fugitive) speak for himself, Poe headed into the building, waiting until the door was fully closed before he moved through to the kitchen, where Ben would still be eating (or, more than likely, be picking at his food nervously; they'd both been informed who was there, after all).

Leia frowned at Poe's lack of response to her mild chiding but didn't say anything else. She followed silently.

Ben had stood when he heard talking in the other room. He couldn't eat anymore, not knowing who he was about to face. To his chagrin, he found himself wishing Poe had clothed him. He hadn't realized how much 'armor' even the basest of clothing provided, until he was facing his parents without it.

Han stopped short when Poe led them into the kitchen, and he saw just who the fugitive Poe had brought back was. He wasn't sure what shocked him the most; that it was Ben, or that Ben was stood there, completely unclothed and vulnerable. Looking between the two of them, he finally found his voice. "This must be some story." He took a step closer, looking over Ben; checking for injuries...checking to see if it really was him.

Leia stepped in and couldn't say anything. She put her hands over her mouth and just started crying.

It was an effort not to try and cover himself with his hands. If he'd been meant to be covered in any way, Poe would have given him something to wear. Still, he couldn't help shifting as Han examined him. He knew every scar Snoke had ever given him was visible. So was the evidence of Poe punishing him. And then Leia was crying, and he was caught between wanting to run to her and hug her tight and help her not cry... and wanting to stay in place until his father gave him permission to move. "M... Momma... D...  Dadda.. I... I... " His voice caught, and he suddenly couldn't talk, as his own tears choked him.

Han took the final few steps towards Ben and then wrapped his arms around his son in a tight, almost desperate hug. He could see the scars on his son's body; could see the red staining Ben's backside. But while there was a flood of questions to be asked, all he could do for right now was hug his son.

Feeling his father hold him tightly loosened what little control Ben had left. Sobbing, he wrapped his own arms around his father and clung to him, needing to feel a connection; needing to feel there was a chance to make things right.

Taking a deep breath, Leia pulled herself together. Reaching over, she squeezed Poe's arm tightly. "You brought our boy home... I don't know how. But you... thank you!" She dragged Poe to her and kissed his cheek, before hugging him tightly. As much as she wanted to hug Ben, he and Han needed this moment. Han had blamed himself for what had happened.

Han hugged Ben tightly, needing the contact with his son as much as Ben did. It was hard for him to talk, to find his voice. All he could do was hold on.

Poe automatically wrapped his arms around Leia, whispering softly, "We're...together. We love each other." He left unsaid that that love had allowed him to get through to Ben, but he needed to make it clear. That he wouldn't hide what the two of them were to each other.

Leia stepped back enough to look into Poe's eyes. Seeing what she needed to see, that he was telling the truth and loved her baby boy as much as she did, she nodded. "We handled so many things wrong. But you got through to him, where we couldn't. Thank you..." she said firmly. It was clear she had no intention of coming between what the two of them obviously had. If Poe didn't keep her away from Ben... and the fact he'd brought all of them here indicated that wouldn't happen... she was glad for the bond they'd formed. It had saved her boy.

Ben continued to cling to his father. Eventually, he did manage to find his voice enough to say, "I'm sorry, Dadda... so sorry...."

Poe smiled, obviously relieved that she understood and wasn't upset with their relationship. "I'm sorry it took me a while to let you know I was alive. Neither of us were in great shape when we came here. Recovering's taken a while."

Han just hugged Ben tighter and more firmly to himself. "I love you, Ben. I'm so happy you've come back to us," he whispered in his son's ear.

Leia nodded. "That... that is enough of a reason to save you from a scolding... " She firmly patted his backside once. "...Or a sterner reminder that you are to keep in contact. Are you healing well? We have med kits..." She couldn't help worrying.

"I love you too, Dadda... so much..." Ben continued to cling, almost cuddling, to his father.

"I'm in much better shape now." Poe nodded towards Hope. "Thanks to our droid. And Ben, too. He was worried and kept sharing his life force with me." He left unsaid that he'd chided Ben for doing so.

Still holding Ben tightly, Han moved his son over to Leia, knowing she needed to hold onto him just as much as he did and had. He freed one hand from Ben to grasp Poe's shoulder in silent thanks.

"Momma..." Ben started crying again as he moved into his mother's embrace.

Leia held onto him tightly. She knew what sharing life force did. And while she was grateful Ben was able to do so- it indicated he truly did care about Poe and was not likely to return to the dark side- it was very dangerous. She might have lost him again before even knowing she had him back. She could see the evidence of how Poe had handled matters and gave the young rebel a proud look over Ben's shoulder. And then proceeded to comfort her son. "I love you so much, Ben. I'm so relieved to have you back where you belong..." Her voice was teary, but clear.

Han looked at his son and then at Poe. "Can I assume that the two of you are a couple now?"

Poe nodded. "We love each other," he declared quietly.

"You kept that hidden very well." Han grasped his shoulder gently, aware of how much strain that must have put on Poe. He and Leia had been able to show some grief openly, even if breaking down wasn't possible. Poe had said and done nothing to indicate Ben had been anything more than a very close friend.

"I thought I had to." Poe's eyes tracked over Ben.

Chewie grumbled softly.

"Yeah. You don't anymore." Han agreed with his friend.

Leia kissed Ben's cheek, then the top of his head. "You'll stay here until you are fully healed, naturally." She gave Ben a stern look. "That will give us time to prepare everyone else, so they don't do something when Ben is seen. Plus... you need time to adjust." She kissed the top of Ben's head again, before directing him onto Chewbacca’s arms. His honorary uncle had been just as devastated as they had been.

Growling softly, Chewie wrapped his furry arms around Ben and hugged him close.

"You should sit down." Hope addressed Poe. "You have over-exerted yourself and are weary."

Poe gave a slight smile and sat down. "There's rations in," he said to Han and Leia. "So, you can eat later. Or now, if you're hungry."

Leia had noticed half eaten meals on the table. "If we eat now, you can finish your own meals as well," she determined.

Ben held onto Chewie, hiding his face against the Wookie's chest.

"There is plenty of food left." Hope turned and then paused, addressing Poe. "Will Ben be sitting on your lap to eat?"

"One of ours, I'm sure," Poe answered.

"If you want to concentrate on the food, I'll grab extra chairs." Han waited for Hope to agree and then proceeded to do so.

Ben blushed, hearing them discuss him like he was a child, but he didn't say anything. Poe was right. He'd end up on one of their laps. It was silly to pretend otherwise.

Leia, worried about her boy's comfort, asked, "Is there a reason, other than proving he isn't a threat, that Ben is naked?"

"No barriers," Poe answered honestly. "It stemmed from the armor he wore as Kylo Ren. For the time being, at least until we find our feet together, I think it's important that nothing remain hidden."

Leia nodded, the answer reassuring in its own way. "That's good. There should be no secrets between those who love each other." She reached over and gently brushed Ben's hair behind his ear.

"Something I need to relearn," Ben admitted, his throat scratchy from all the crying he'd done.

Chewie growled softly to Ben, asking who he would like to sit with as extra chairs and food were brought to the table by Han and Hope respectively.

Ben's eyes widened and he got a nervous look in his eye as he was faced with what, to him, seemed a monumental choice.

Leia, seeing the panic blooming on his face and remembering what Hope said about Poe being worn down quickly interjected, "Sit on your Dadda's lap. He's strong enough and large enough and it will give me a chance to make sure Poe is taking as good of care of himself as he is you..." She spoke firmly. She smiled as the panic changed to relief and Ben- her Ben, who would argue the grass was purple if you said it was green, just to argue- actually, obeyed and moved to stand next to Han.

She moved her own chair closer to Poe's and pointed toward his chair. "Sit," she ordered fondly, beginning to plate up fresh food for her boys and everyone else.

Han sat and carefully pulled Ben down onto his lap, situating his son so that little weight rested on his sore bottom.

Poe sat down without argument, not protesting Leia taking over. He smiled at Ben and reached across to gently squeeze the younger man's hand.

Ben settled against his father, unable to stop himself from snuggling back into the older man. He hadn't realized, until they were there, and he was being held by them, how lost and bereft he'd been without them. He squeezed Poe's hand gently in thanks.

It wasn't long before everyone was settling down and eating, talking quietly.

Han held Ben close and tight, cuddling his son, but making sure Ben still ate.

Ben, feeling safe, secure and like the huge hole that had been ripped in his soul when he first ran from home was finally mended not only ate everything on his plate, but ate seconds.

Leia watched her son with his father and had to fight back tears of happiness.

Poe watched Ben, his gaze loving and affectionate. He ate his own food without hesitation or complaint, knowing it was important to keep up his strength.

Ben was surprised when Hope began clearing the table. The meal was finished. Now they needed to discuss what was going to happen next... at least, he assumed that's what needed to happen. He waited for someone to give directions.

"Why don't we go and sit down more comfortably?" Han suggested. "If you have anything that you'd like us to arrange for you to have here, you can tell us."

Leia glanced around the homey but sparsely decorated home. "I know you have things in your quarters that you'd like here, Poe. And ... I still have some of Ben's things from before. They meant a lot then. They might not mean the same now, but..." she offered hesitantly.

For the first time since their arrival. Ben saw how his mother and father had aged since he last saw them. Saw what his disappearance had wrought. He swallowed hard, guilt spearing through him. "Yessir... yes'mam..." he said, in a soft voice.

Chewbacca led the way out, sitting on one side of a large sofa. Leia pushed Han down next to Chewbacca, then, before he could sit in the nearby armchair, pushed Poe down next to Han. She slid into the narrow space between Poe and the other sofa's edge. At Chewbacca’s plaintive yowl, she chided, "Oh, hush. It's only a little tight. It's still comfortable and I want all my family together; not even one away from me!" She gave Ben a pointed look before glancing toward Han's lap.

Han reached out and drew Ben down to sit on his lap, wrapping his arms around his son's waist and then glancing towards Poe. "This is where you've disappeared to sometimes, isn't it? When you need to go off the grid and have space? How long have you had the place for?"

"Not long after Ben went to train," Poe admitted. He didn't mention that he'd wanted to bring the younger man here to live with him. He'd already mentioned that to Ben and figured Han, Leia and Chewie would read through the lines.

Ben looked down, snuggling close to his father like the child he used to be, but not saying anything. Afraid to say anything because the guilt was pooling in his stomach again and growing and he knew the only way to get rid of it was Poe spanking him. His parents... he didn't want them to be more upset on his account, so he needed to keep quiet as much as possible so no one would hear his guilt.

Poe could read Ben well by this point; helped a great deal by the fact that what Ben felt normally showed clearly on his face. He reached out, squeezing the younger man's hand and then his leg. "We're together now," he said softly. "That's what's important."

Ben gave Poe a wan smile, tears pooling in his eyes. "I... I'm home..." His voice caught and he swallowed hard.

Han wrapped one arm around Poe's shoulders, drawing the other youngster against him so Poe could snuggle Ben more easily. "So." He cleared his throat, deciding to comment on what they'd all seen. "You spanked Ben."

"Yes, sir," Poe answered, without hesitation. "And I will be again. Not for vengeance or because I haven't forgiven him, but because Ben needs to feel like he's paid." He smiled and stroked his fingers through Ben's hair. "I love you too much to let you drown in your own guilt."

Ben blinked as tears escaped and slid down his cheek. "I know you do... don't think the guilt will ever leave, though. After everything..." He swallowed hard again, a tiny shiver going through him.

"Oh, sweetheart... " Leia breathed out. "The guilt may never leave you... but it doesn’t have to control you..." She looked at Poe. "I'm counting on you to do whatever is necessary. I... I can't lose him again." Her voice held a hint of what she was afraid of.

"I'm not going to let it become overwhelming," Poe promised...Ben and the others too. "But...." He paused and, gently squeezing Ben's hand, continued, "The guilt isn't just because of what was done to me."

Han understood very quickly what Poe meant and, after squeezing Ben gently, he moved his son into position over his lap, Ben laying in such a way that he was sprawled across all of them.

Ben shivered and took a quivering breath, but he didn't whimper or whine; evidence that he needed this... needed to be right with his parents too.

Leia quickly helped Ben settle so that he could breathe, one hand holding both of his in a sure grip, the other gently carding through his hair. She noted Chewie had wrapped his arms securely around Ben's legs, holding him immobile, even as he gently rubbed and squeezed. She trusted Poe to hold his torso still while Han spanked what was obviously an already tender bottom.

Poe wrapped his arms around Ben's torso, holding the younger man tight and secure. He watched as Han lifted his hand and brought it down with a firm crack of bare skin to bare skin.

Ben had wanted to take his punishment like an adult, but this situation just didn't allow for that. He was finally reunited with his family. They still loved him, despite everything. And having his father put him over his lap was reminiscent of too many times when he was a naughty boy... it was impossible not to react like that boy now, even with over a decade between. When Han's hand landed, Ben yelped loudly. And as Han fell into a rhythm, so too did Ben's soft cries and eventual sobs of pain fall into a rhythm. He never tried to get away, though. He accepted his father's correction. He needed it too much not to.

Han's hand was steady, firm, as he covered every inch of Ben's backside, down to thighs and then starting over from the top again. He didn't go easy on his son, despite Ben already being sore and punished. It was clear his son needed to be punished; needed to feel like he'd paid for his actions. So, Han made sure the punishment was real and not a token one.

Ben didn't begin to squirm until his father was halfway through a third circuit, the pain too intense for him not to try and get away, even if he felt he deserved it. His entire family held him in place, though; only Uncle Luke was absent, so he didn't get far. His father's hand still landed firmly, not letting up. Ben knew he was looking for a sign. When he was younger, the sign had been when Ben finally understood what he'd done wrong and was repentant. He'd known his crime and was repentant before the spanking had begun, though. He wasn't sure what sign Han needed now.

What he was sure of was that, as much as he'd needed to be punished... he now needed his parents' forgiveness more. He especially needed his father's, given what Snoke had ordered him to do. "He... he wanted me to kill you, Dadda... murder you... to prove myself. I didn't... didn't want to! I'm sorry, Daddy! Please don't hate me! I'm sorry!" He found himself blurting the confession. He needed his family to know everything. That way, he could be certain the forgiveness covered everything.

Poe's arms tightened around Ben. He had already known what Snoke wanted the younger man to do; but it was important that Ben let the confession out himself. Important that it was drawn from him, like poison from a wound.

Han paused, his hand resting on Ben's bright red, thoroughly warmed backside. "I don't hate you, kid. I could never hate you. I love you. It broke our hearts when you ran. Joined the First Order. Now that you're back, I won't waste any time with you," he promised.

Han's words eased something in Ben. While he hadn't been fighting the punishment, the words of acceptance and love acted as a knife; excising the infection of guilt and self-loathing. He slumped boneless, as if whatever had been holding him up had been cut. "Love you, Daddy... Momma... so much." He sobbed still, but it was peaceful.

Han carefully moved Ben back to sit on his lap, cuddling his son tightly and rocking him, just as if Ben was a child again.

Ben clung to his father, the sobs ebbing to gentle crying. His backside was pain... but his heart felt lighter than he could remember. "Thank you... for helping me..." he finally whispered, in a small voice.

"We will always help you," Leia said emphatically. "Both of you." She hugged Poe, as Han still had their son.

Chewie growled his agreement, as Poe cuddled into Leia and reached out to grasp Ben's hand, squeezing gently.

"Your Momma's right," Han agreed. "We will do everything in our power to help both of you."

Ben snuggled as long as he felt he could get away with and not be a complete baby. "How long can you stay?" he whispered, as he slowly loosened his grip, though did not let go completely; as much as he loved his momma, he'd always been a bit of a Daddy's boy and he'd missed being able to feel safe and protected. Until Poe got hold of him, he hadn't felt that way since he'd last seen Han.

Han didn't let go of Ben, indicating the comfort was there for as long as his son wanted it. "We were expecting a rescue mission...having to treat injuries...so we have a while before we have to return," he said.

Chewie growled softly.

Han nodded. "And yeah. Nothing to stop us coming back."

"Then you'll be here for Poe and I getting married?" Ben smiled innocently.

Han raised his eyebrows. "Have you set a date? Or were you waiting for us before you did?"

"He just asked me this morning and I said yes. I... just wanted to make sure it was possible for you to be here... we can pick the day so you can...." Ben blushed, giving Poe and his mom an almost sheepish look.

Han smiled. "I'm sure any day will be fine with both of us. Is there anyone else you want to come?"

"Other than Uncle Luke... don't really know anyone. Poe likely has numerous, though...." Ben smiled crookedly.

Poe gently squeezed Ben's hand. "We might not know where your uncle is, but perhaps we can send a message. And I would be happy for everyone to attend, but no one who might cause you harm or upset."

"You all know better than I who could handle my presence and who won't." Ben sounded sad.

"Why don't you make a list of who you'd like to attend?" Han suggested. "Then we can take care of the coded invitations while you two figure out the ins and outs of the ceremony."

"My list is easy. You, Momma, Uncle Chewie and Uncle Luke, if you can locate him." Ben glanced at Poe expectantly.

"I'll have to think and write down the names," Poe said. "I don't want to risk anything spoiling our day."

Leia nodded. "Well, we have time. If my plans and Hope's came to fruition, I will soon have coordinates to locate your uncle. Until then, you can begin planning what you will wear... as well as other stuff."

Poe grinned at that. "I actually have some ideas," he admitted. After all, he'd been thinking about this for a long time.

Ben blinked, giving Poe a wide-eyed look. "I'd like to see those ideas."

Poe squeezed Ben's hand, then raised it to his lips and kissed it. "I'll show you," he promised.

"Maybe after dinner, you two can look at the ideas while your father, uncle and I look at all the security measures you have here and see if we can't bolster them. While I'm sure you've done everything you can think of, there are probably a few things an ex-princess and old smuggler can think of that you wouldn't," Leia teased Poe.

Poe grinned at her. "I'm sure you're right," he agreed. "I'd certainly welcome any input."

"Maybe after the evening meal?" Ben asked hopefully. That'd give him a few more hours of cuddling, plus it would be slightly easier to walk, given it hurt to move at that moment.

Leia smiled sympathetically. "After then will work just fine."

"I can rub in some more ointment then, too," Poe commented.

Ben blushed, glancing down bashfully. He'd already given Poe control over if he'd be given relief from punishments; his own tendency to think he should suffer making it necessary for his lover to be in charge of that. He didn't know how his family would view the fact he'd done so.

"There's no reason you can't do that now," Han commented.

Ben looked up at that, with a hint of surprise. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, but that hadn't been it. Maybe he should have, though.

"You wouldn't have to wait to get comfort," Han commented. "And there's no reason not to have some now. You wouldn't even have to move very much."

Apparently hearing at least part of the conversation, Hope brought the jar of ointment to them, passing it to Poe...who looked at Ben and Han and then passed the jar to Han.

Ben blushed a little more, but didn't argue, instead nuzzling against his father like a puppy before carefully shifting back over everyone's lap again. If they wanted to comfort, he wasn't above accepting it. He'd missed them so much. The comfort was welcome.

Han wrapped one arm around Ben's waist, holding him against his stomach, as he began to rub the ointment into his son's bottom, soothing the reddened, heated flesh.

"Thank you, Dadda... " Ben whispered, relaxing under his father's care.

While Han rubbed the ointment into Ben's bottom, Poe pressed a kiss to the younger man's shoulder and stroked his fingers along Ben's arms. He kept whispering, "I love you."

Ben glanced over his shoulder and smiled at Poe. "Love you too... love all of you!" he declared.

"And we love both of you..." Leia answered, with a warm tone.

Poe smiled, a light in his eyes that had been lacking since they'd lost Ben and leaned over to gently kiss Ben's lips.

***

After dinner, Poe wrapped his arm around Ben's waist and guided the younger man into their bedroom. He kept touching Ben, but it was gentle and undemanding; just affection for affection's sake.

Ben smiled as he was led into the room. His mother and father had taken off shortly after dinner to look over the security. He knew after, they would retire to the room Poe had given them. His mother had indicated she'd be sending messages. Chewbacca was enjoying relaxing in the room he'd been given. Ben was amazed at how Poe had thought of everything when building this compound. Every family member had their own space and then there were extra rooms that hadn’t been assigned. Ben could only assume they were for guests or friends. "You thought of everything," he finally said.

"I prepared for as much as the life I wanted us to share as I could." Poe drew Ben in for a deep, lingering kiss. "I abandoned this place for quite a long time," he admitted quietly. "It was easier to stay away than to come here and think of what could have been."

"I... I'm sorry I didn't know... all the time wasted..." Ben kissed back deeply. "I'll make it up to you, though. Every dream you had... I want to make come true."

"It's enough, more than enough, that I have you here with me now." Poe wrapped his arms around Ben's waist. "I'm happier than I ever thought I could be."

Ben smiled happily. "So... show me the outfit you've picked out..." he cajoled, before leaning back on their bed so he could look at all of Poe's plans. He was completely at peace. His future was looking better than he thought it ever would. Now... now, he just wanted to plan with his future husband.

The End