Readjustment

Summary: Colby didn’t expect returning to be easy. He didn’t expect it to be like it turned out either.
Warning(s): Explicit sexual situations; M/F/m D/s relationship; Spoilers for Numb3rs; spanking
Pairing: Don/Liz/Colby

###

Colby hobbled into his apartment, looking around. He could tell someone had come over and cleaned. It looked pristine; Colby cleaned, but the space always looked comfortable and lived in and a few important mementos were missing. Sighing silently, he turned and closed the door, locking it.

He'd taken a taxi home. He had found out the night before that they would be releasing him from the hospital and while he thought Megan would pick him up and bring him home- she'd visited him, after all- it didn't feel right to bother her. He could have called Don as well; the man was still technically his boss and responsible for him, though Colby hadn't yet found out if his request to stay on Don's team would be granted. But... he didn't know if he was still on Don's team (maybe Don wasn't responsible for him) and it didn't feel right asking him for help either, after everything he'd done, even if he'd been doing his job.

No one other than Megan had visited him; that he knew of, anyway. And he hadn't got any calls. Not even from his family. He hadn't thought much about it in the hospital. Had they been contacted with his information? There was a slight dread that no one had let them know it had all been a ruse and they thought he was a traitor still. He'd deliberately refused to call his mother while in prison- he knew he wouldn't have been able to lie to her- but he'd hoped that someone would have let her know the truth as soon as it was revealed.

Taking a deep breath, he picked up the phone and dialed from memory. No one answered. He ended up leaving a message on the machine. "H... hi, Mama. It's Col. I... I just got out of hospital. I can finally talk now... explain. I... I know the last few months have been horrible, but I hope now the truth's out, you can be proud again. I miss you and if it's okay... I can fly out to see you this weekend... I'll call again to see if it's... if you want me...." Colby swallowed and hung up the phone.

Glancing around at the sterile, pristine apartment, he sighed and walked into the bedroom, curling up on top of the quilt. He needed to eat. Call Megan so she didn't try and visit him at the hospital. Take inventory to see what exactly was missing and what he needed to replace. He'd do it later, though.

He was suddenly worn out.

***

Don never really considered himself a coward, but as he sat in his apartment, drinking a beer and avoiding talking to any of his team members, he thought they probably saw him that way. And he probably was, if he was totally honest with himself. After all, even if he'd made sure he got constant updates on Colby's condition, he hadn't been able to bring himself to go and visit the other man in person. Not since that first time seeing Colby in the hospital bed, hooked up to wires.

Don didn't really know if it made any difference that Colby hadn't actually been a traitor. The man had been lying to him, to the whole team, since he'd joined them. He didn't know if Colby would put in for a transfer before returning to work, or if there'd be paperwork that needed to be taken care of.

He just didn't know right now. But what he did know was that everyone was on edge. The update was that Colby was ready to be discharged from hospital. And Don should probably make arrangements for the other man to be picked up, but truth be told, he was feeling pretty numb right now. And it wasn't just down to the beer he was drinking.

***

Colby hadn't meant to sleep through the night. It just happened. As a result, he missed his nightly dose of medication, didn't eat dinner and slept in the clothes he'd left the hospital in. He woke up hungry, stiff and hurting. And he'd forgotten to call Megan. There weren't any messages (from Megan or his mom), so hopefully, that just meant she hadn't gone in and wasn't upset with him for not telling her.

Swallowing down the pain, he carefully got out of bed and went to take a shower. Thirty minutes later, the heat having helped the stiffness at least, he dressed and took his medication. There wasn't any food in the house but some stale crackers, but the medicine was supposed to be taken with food, so he ate them while making a grocery list. He then began to do an inventory of his possessions, making a list of what needed replacing.

Some things couldn't be replaced. They'd been gifts from his father. Gifts from Mama. He could only hope they were in a box at the FBI to be returned to him some day. Something to ask Don or David about when he got the nerve to face them. Licking his lower lip, he picked up the phone and tried to call his mother again. This time, his sister answered.

***

Don hadn't really slept very well. As a result, when he headed into the office, he wasn't in the best of moods. He tried not to snap at any of his colleagues, but most of them gave him a wide berth anyway.

They had a case to deal with almost straight away. And it was far from straightforward. Which meant he was going to need to call Charlie in. And he wasn't sure he wanted his little brother to see him when he was in this kind of state. A big part of him still wanted to keep on protecting Charlie from the darker sides of himself, no matter how much Charlie had been exposed to already.

***

It was several hours later and Colby had made appointments with the FBI mandated therapist, in hopes that he could return to work sooner than later. He'd been called in to debrief those in charge about his part in everything that had occurred. They hadn't made any promises, but had told him that his chances were good that he would remain on Don's team. Of course, the final decision on that would be up to Don, but the higher ups wouldn't stand in the way if Don said yes to Colby remaining on the team.

He'd decided to take a taxi, since he had just taken his mid-day medication and wouldn't risk other people by attempting to drive. He checked in at security, sighing when one of the officers escorted him to where the debriefing would be. It was a sign of how distracted he was that he didn't notice which floor they were going to until he was stepping off the elevator and all conversation stopped. He swallowed hard and straightened his shoulders, pretending that everything was fine, even if he felt like he'd throw up. They were on the team's floor. It remained to be seen if it was still his team... he didn't feel ready to face them yet. But maybe it was better to get it out of the way.

The security officer led him into the interrogation room. He couldn't help but remember the last time he'd been in the room; Don interrogating him and him 'confessing' to being a traitor. He broke out in a thin layer of sweat, the air conditioning chilling him.

***

It wasn't long before the whispers reached Don's ears; that Colby was back. Here for the debriefing. Well, it wasn't actually whispering. The rest of the team had wound up nominating Liz to come and break the news to him, probably figuring his ex would be able to keep him calm.

Don didn't really need to be calmed down, though. He felt numb. Did he want to see Colby right now? Not really. He couldn't remember a time he'd felt so betrayed by someone he'd trusted; someone he'd once believed would have his back in every dangerous situation. Finding out it hadn't been real? That didn't suddenly make things better.

"Don?"

Don blinked and focused on her once more. He sighed and shrugged. "He's just here for the debriefing. Talk to him, if you want. Don't crowd him. But I've still got a case to run."

It was a dismissal and Liz took it as such. She left the cubicle, not sure what to think or do. She understood how the team felt, but for her own part, she didn't feel that same sense of betrayal, of being lied to. Perhaps because she was so new to the team in comparison to the rest of them.

Megan caught up with Liz not far from Don's office. "Is he okay?" she asked in concern. "None of us expected Colby to come in so soon after getting released from the hospital. I doubt Don had time to prepare to see him. I barely was and that's only because I visited him when he was still healing...." She frowned, looking toward where Colby was answering questions. "I can’t believe they dragged him in this soon, to be honest. He looks worn out and ready to fall over...."

"I don't think he's ready to see Colby yet," Liz admitted, keeping her voice low so as not to carry to anyone else's ears. "Not that he told me in as many words, of course. But he's decided to focus on the case." She followed the line of Megan's gaze. "Maybe one of us should offer to drive him back. I can do that," she offered. "I know it must be hard on all of you."

"Yeah... I'd really appreciate that. Just because we are having difficulty with reconciling our hurt pride and feelings with the knowledge, he was doing the right thing, doesn't mean I want to leave him hanging. If you could step in until I or David or Don feel up to it...." Megan kept her voice as low as Liz, but her gratitude was clear.

Liz nodded. "I'll go and make the offer once the debriefing is finished." She paused, waiting until that was the case, and then walked over, smiling at Colby. "You look like you're in rough shape. Why don't you get a ride back with me? We can grab a coffee on the way."

Colby blinked at the offer in surprise before a sadly grateful look crossed over his face. "If it isn't too much trouble... I was going to call a cab, but coffee sounds good...."

Megan was working and tried to hide the fact she was eavesdropping on the conversation. She couldn't help feeling a bit sad and guilty at how eager Colby acted at having a friendly overture made to him. He might not realize it- probably didn't, or he'd do a better job at hiding it, given how good he was at pretending (and didn't that thought make Megan feel a bit small and petty)- but it was clear Colby was feeling lonely.

"There's not much I can do right now here anyway," Liz answered. "Maybe you can let me know how well you're recovering and if there are any ways I can help out." Not only would it give them a chance to bond, her a chance to get to know Colby without him needing to pretend, but she could also pass on the information to the others. Make sure they were kept updated, because even if it was only Megan who indicated she still cared about Colby...Liz knew that the rest of the team did as well. And eventually, there'd be fallout for all of them to deal with. Hopefully, she could mitigate some of that.

Colby's smile was a mix of bashful little boy and hesitant adult male who felt like he should be able to take care of himself but didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Yeah. I can tell you a little..." he agreed non-committing.

"You ready to go now?" Liz asked.

"I need to drop off paperwork in HR. But after that, I will be " Colby's smile grew and became more at ease. The paperwork was needed to begin work once he'd been cleared by the therapist. It was also his official request to remain on Don's team... if Don didn't agree, they would send him a list of potential assignments he could take instead.

Liz nodded. "I can go with you," she offered. "We can talk on the way. How are you for groceries? We can pick some of them up on the way too."

"You sure you don't mind? I hate to impose, but it'd be nice to get some basics to eat. Take out will get old really quick..." Colby said.

"Don't worry about imposing," Liz answered. "I promise, you won't be." She started walking alongside him to head to HR.

Megan watched them go before walking to Don's desk. "He's turning in his paperwork. You should be getting the official request for his placement soon. Do you know what you're going to decide?"

Don shook his head and sighed, rubbing at his forehead. "I don't know," he admitted. "The whole team's struggling with this. I don't know if I can agree to him being placed back here when I know there're going to be questions about his loyalty. About whether he can be trusted at anyone's back."

"I know the decision is yours... and I know that it won't be easy... but in spite of everything, the one thing I can trust about Colby is that he'd have our backs. We might have a hard time believing what he says, but I have no doubt he'd do whatever it took to keep us alive...." Megan stated.

"I know that and you know that," Don agreed. "But I can't speak for what the rest of the team knows."

"I think Liz knows it too. David should. He might need to be reminded." Megan smiled.

"I'll try and talk to him." Don sighed. "I don't think Liz will be so much of a problem. She wasn't lied to for as long as the rest of us were."

"Yeah..." Megan sighed. "It'd probably be easier if you turned down his request. Let him move into another position."

"Easier, maybe," Don agreed. "But I don't think it'll be better."

"No. I don't think it would be..." Megan agreed.

"There's just going to be a lot of damage control I'll have to do." Don glanced at the door. "I'll have to tell David. If he hasn't already guessed."

"Well, sooner better than later. Although waiting till the request is actually on your desk wouldn't be amiss." Megan moved toward the door, heading back to work.

"Yeah." In a lower voice, Don muttered, "Not to mention this case still needs to be solved."

"It's not going anywhere. Take an hour for lunch?" Megan grinned over her shoulder, before going the rest of the way to her desk.

"Yeah." Don sighed, not quite able to bring himself to pull away from the case just yet. Maybe it was time to call Charlie in. Besides, his little brother was likely going to have questions about Colby.

Megan reached her desk and sighed. She knew Don wasn't going to go to lunch. Time to order take out from their favorite deli down the street.

****

Charlie kept looking at his phone as he graded papers. He knew staring at it wasn't going to get it to ring, but he couldn't help himself. He knew Colby was out of the hospital. He wanted to find out what was going to happen now.

***

It took longer than it should have done, longer than he should have left it, but Don finally picked up the phone and called Charlie. He held it to his ear as he listened to it ringing, staring at the casework. He needed his little brother's help; but more than that, he needed to update Charlie. He knew that's what his brother was waiting for.

Charlie answered on the second ring. "Charles Eppes..." he said, unable to keep the breathless anxiousness out of his voice.

"Hey, Charlie. It's Don," Don responded. "Are you busy? Did I call at a bad time?"

"No... I'm just grading papers. What's up?" Charlie began putting things away with the presupposition that Don would ask him to come by.

"We've hit a dead end with this case," Don answered. "I need your help, Charlie." He hesitated. "Colby came in for his debriefing, but I don't think he'll still be here when you arrive."

Charlie paused at the double dose of information. "Okay. I'll be there in thirty minutes. Just packing up." He tried not to sound disappointed at the fact Colby wouldn't still be there. He was just happy the other man was feeling well enough to go in at all.

"I'll see you then." Don glanced around the office. "You might want to grab something to eat, too. I won't be taking a lunch break."

"Yes. You will. Or, at least, you'll be eating through lunch..." Megan had just returned from the deli and plopped two bags on Don's desk. "Number Five is in the left bag, Number 12 is in the right. I figured you'd be bringing Charlie in." She shrugged, gave a tiny grin and walked back to her own desk, where David had pulled over his chair so they could eat their own lunch while discussing their portion of the case.

Charlie perked up. "Did Megan get me a Number 12 from the deli?" he asked, suddenly realizing how hungry he was.

"Yeah," Don replied. "It'll be waiting for you when you get here."

"See you soon!" Charlie agreed, hanging up. He'd finished putting everything away by this point and was already walking out the door.

Don disconnected the call and turned his attention to the casework, putting the files in order so that Charlie could look over them more easily.

***

Several weeks later and Colby was back at the office, getting his ID, badge and government issued firearm. Don had finally decided to let him back on the team and today was his first day back. He hadn't seen or spoken to anyone else in those weeks other than Liz. She'd made a point to check on him daily and give him small bits of news on what the team was up to, so he wasn't going to be completely out of the loop, but it still made him nervous. Had he made the right decision, asking to remain on the team? It was a little more than clear they hadn't forgiven him for doing his job.

Don asked Liz to pass on the message to Colby; that they were having a team meeting and that Colby, as part of the team, was expected to be there. Emotions were still high and difficult to deal with, but he wouldn't leave Colby out of the loop. Even if he did lean on Liz more to act as a buffer.

Liz approached Colby as he collected everything he needed. "It's straight into the deep end, I'm afraid. We've got a case. Don wants us all there for a team meeting." She handed him a cup of coffee. "Not sure when we'll get a break to grab a drink, so here. Just the way you like it."

Colby took a slow breath and squared his shoulders, taking the coffee and patting himself down with his free hand to make certain everything was in place. "Thanks, Liz," he said gratefully. Giving her a wan smile, he motioned for her to lead the way, falling into step beside her as they headed to the conference room.

He felt like a rookie on the first day of his first job. It was a bit irritating that he couldn't maintain calm indifference, but he was at least hopeful that he was hiding his nerves from everyone else; barring Liz, of course. She'd spent enough time with him the last several weeks, he knew she could tell he was nervous. He also knew she'd tell him if his nerves were so obvious as to cause problems for him. She knew he needed to present as calm and in control, if only for his own self-esteem.

Liz walked alongside Colby, quickly and quietly bringing him up to speed about the case and where they currently stood. She stopped speaking as they reached the main room.

Don glanced at Liz, then looked at Colby, but didn't address either of them. Instead, seeing that everyone was now here, he began to speak about the case.

Colby didn't know whether to be relieved or hurt that Don not only didn't say anything to welcome him, he didn't give anyone else the chance to either. Charlie at least gave him a grin and a tiny wave, so he didn't feel completely unwanted. Megan glanced at him and nodded, but her smile was hesitant and sad, like she was afraid to trust him. David wouldn't even look at him. Swallowing a sigh before it could escape to be heard, Colby sat in the chair furthest from everyone else, letting Liz take the chair that put her between him and the others.

Don continued talking and explaining the ins and outs of the current case. Honestly, he was tired and it was showing. Since everything that had happened, he'd thrown himself into work. He ate when he was nagged to; didn't sleep a lot, because it seemed like the people they were after never slept.

Colby was watching everyone as much as he was listening to Don. He couldn't help but notice how tired and frazzled Don looked; he began to observe the others closely, to see if they looked as worn down. He might not feel fully welcome, but he'd been given a second chance. He'd do everything he could to help ease the burden and catch the bad guys. Maybe if he helped enough the others could take a needed break, he'd gain a little trust and approval back.

Don took a deep breath, glancing at the pictures of the victims on the whiteboard and then asking his team, "Are there any questions?"

"No questions. I just need all the data on each of the victims so I can try and analyze if they had any common variables..." Charlie stood, expecting to be given files, or at least led to an area where he could work. He grinned at Colby again.

Colby was going to ask for his assignment, who he would be going out with, but hesitated, waiting for Don to choose when to tell him instead. He wasn't sure how to act. Not yet. Being quiet was safer... he hoped.

Don handed the files to his brother, looking over the team members as he considered what to do. "Liz, Colby...I want you to interview Ryan Porter. Something doesn't ring true about his eyewitness account. Megan, David, see if you can find anything, we might have missed at the last crime scene."

"Yessir..." Colby said, deferential. He glanced at Liz and gave her a crooked smile. He knew he wasn't acting normal, but he couldn't seem to get his feet under him. Hopefully, she was ready to leave right away, before he made a fool of himself.

"On it now, boss." Liz quickly stood, taking the card with the address that Don held out to her. "We can take my car, Colby." She smiled at him, waiting to see if he would agree or not.

"Sure..." Colby smiled at Liz, missing the surprised look Megan shot him.

Megan waited until Liz and Colby were gone to comment, "He would have argued about being the one to drive, before...." It was obvious in her tone that she thought this was just another 'lie' they had to separate from fact; him preferring to drive all the time or not.

"Maybe he just wants to be cooperative and not cause waves his first day back..." Charlie said calmly, before taking the files from Don and heading out himself.

"He could still be in pain." Don knew, in theory, that Colby was recovered enough to come back to work; that didn't necessarily mean he was fully healed. "I'll ask Liz to keep an eye on him. Get him to the hospital if it looks like he's in bad shape."

"You ready to go?" David asked Megan, not referencing Colby at all.

Megan darted a glance at David and sighed. "Yeah. I'm ready." Giving Don a soft smile, she left the room. It was hard, seeing everyone so torn apart... estranged. As much as she was glad for Colby's safe return to them, she couldn't help but wonder if it wouldn't have been better for him to move to another team and start fresh... for all of them.

David just nodded and headed towards the exit, staying quiet and subdued. He glanced through their own file of information, to give himself something else to focus on.

***

Later that night, Charlie kept giving his brother strange looks while they were all eating their family dinner.

Amita was giving Charlie odd looks, because she didn't know why he was looking at Don that way; and then she'd look at their father, as if he might have the answer she sought.

Don, who had been picking at the food on his plate but not really eating, finally looked up at his brother. "What is it, Charlie?" he asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

"Colby returned to the team...but it seems like none of you really want him there..." Charlie said hesitantly. "You weren't forced to take him back, were you? Cause that couldn't be good for anyone...."

"No, Charlie," Don replied. "I wasn't forced into taking him back. It's not as simple as not wanting him there. It's hard to trust someone who lied for so long."

"Would it have been better to refuse his transfer?" Alan asked. "It seems to me that you need to have people at your back that you trust completely."

Don shook his head. "No one doubts him in the field. Just as a friend."

"I... I guess not being in the field, I wouldn't really know..." Amita said cautiously, "...But if I was Colby, I don't know that I'd be able to fully trust myself with other people if I knew they didn't trust me fully... even if they trusted me to have their back. I'd not want to give any more of myself than I had to... and... well... Isn't holding back dangerous? I... I guess Colby expected it and prepared for it, though... he had to have known it wouldn't be easy..." Her voice trailed off uncertainly as she frowned.

"He was quieter than I remember, but he seemed to be handling everything okay." Charlie shrugged. "You don't need to worry about him..." He smiled at Amita.

"Liz is partnered with him at the moment," Don said. "She doesn't have a problem with trusting him. At least for the time being, I'll leave them partnered together."

"Yeah. Maybe it will work out no problems... not like Colby is the type to take chances to prove things, right?" Amita grinned and relaxed. "I thought you'd be bringing Liz to dinner tonight. Wasn't that the plan?" This time, she was definitely teasing.

"Yeah...I don't know," Don admitted. He didn't really feel as close to Liz as he once had; and that had nothing to do with Colby. At least, he didn't think it had anything to do with Colby returning to the team.

"Really?" Amita sounded surprised. Don had seemed pretty excited about the possibilities last time everyone had got together for dinner. Of course, that had been before Colby was arrested, so things did change sometimes. She gave Mr. Eppes a glance, wondering if he knew what had happened.

"You can always invite her as a friend, if you don't want to invite her as your girlfriend," Alan suggested.

"Yeah. Maybe when things finally calm down a bit," Don commented.

Charlie snorted. "When are things ever calm? Prolly better you decided to remain just friends, though. Every time you date a co-worker, they end up transferring for a promotion. If Liz left, you, Megan, or David would have to actually work with Colby...."

"I'm not saying we'll never work with him. But at the moment, we need to ease back into it," Don said. "He lied to the whole team, Charlie. It's not easy to just get over that and forget it happened. No matter how much I might wish it could be different."

"He didn't lie about the most important stuff... about who he was. I feel it. But what do I know?" Charlie frowned, stabbing his fork into the baked potato he was eating.

Amita reached over and rubbed his arm to calm him down. Charlie had forgiven Colby and had been looking for reasons to excuse the other man's actions before they even knew he wasn't really a traitor and it was hard for him to understand the others not being able to forgive and forget.

Don looked down at his own plate and sighed, pushing it away. "I'll eat later, Dad. I'm really not hungry."

Alan frowned. "I think I'm going to implement a new rule. No talking about work over dinner. You all have to deal with enough outside of here."

Charlie winced, pushing his own plate away. "Sorry, dad, I'm not really hungry either..." he muttered despondently. If everyone else couldn't get past their uneasiness with Colby, he knew Colby would leave. He didn't want to lose his friend.

"No!" Amita blurted in objection. "You know what? I know for a fact neither of you ate breakfast, because I heard you mention it to Megan. When she offered to bring you both a late lunch because none of you had eaten lunch by three o'clock, you both turned her down because you were coming here for dinner and didn't want to spoil your appetites. Not eating all day is bad for you!"

"I expect you both to eat," Alan said firmly, his tone one of no-nonsense. "Just for today, we're not talking about work. Not talking about Colby, or trust, or lack thereof. You two are going to eat and then we'll sit down and watch a movie. Tomorrow, you can pick up the worries. But while you're both here, there'll be no talking about cases or anything to do with work."

"Yes, sir, " Charlie said deferentially, noticeably calming at his father's decision. Deferential; they weren't talking about it, maybe Don wouldn't focus on it and if he didn't focus on it, maybe he'd open up to Colby a bit sooner. At the least, Charlie could pretend things were normal.

"Yeah...all right," Don agreed, picking up his utensils and returning to eating his food.

****

While Don was with his family and Megan, David and Liz were conceivably at home relaxing or on dates, Colby was sat in his tiny apartment, forcing himself to eat a frozen dinner and thinking despondently on the conversation he'd just had with his sister. He hurt physically (the doctors had wanted him to take at least another week to heal, but he'd been adamant he was ready to work). He hurt emotionally more, though. If it weren't for Liz making such an effort, or the fact Charlie had given him such a genuine smile at the office, he would have felt completely alone. "Why am I even trying?" he muttered, rubbing at suddenly watery eyes. "She was right. I'm poison to anyone who cares. I... I can't be that to Liz or Charlie. Got to make sure they stay safe."

Picking up the meal (there was still three-fourths of it remaining), he tossed it in the trash, chugged the remainder of his beer, grabbed a third bottle (he'd finished the first before his meal was even out of the microwave) and headed back into the living room, where he flopped on the couch and turned on the TV to drown out the lonely silence. Palming his medication, he opened the beer, then tossed the pills back, chasing them with half of the bottle. Yeah. The bottle said not to drink when taking them. But he wasn't driving anywhere and had the following day off, so if he had the hangover from hell, at least he could be miserable at home.

***

Liz had returned home to her own apartment, but it was pretty empty as far as she was concerned. And all she had in the freezer were ready meals.

She knew Don was at his father's; and truthfully, they weren't exactly on dating terms right now. But she didn't really feel like eating frozen meals on her own.

It was a split-second decision to leave her apartment and get into her car. She drove to a Chinese place close to where Colby lived, picked up food and then continued on to his apartment. Parking outside, she quickly headed over to the door to press the buzzer.

***

Colby was out of it by the time Liz was at his door. He heard the buzzer, but could barely focus enough to realize what it was, let alone get up to answer. Probably not a good idea to mix pain meds with beer, but oh well. Whoever it was would give up, assume he was sleeping or out, and leave.

Liz frowned when there was no response to her pressing the buzzer. Had Colby gone out? She wasn't worried, not really. But she did take her phone out and dial Colby's cell. If he wasn't available, that was one thing. But she couldn't shake her worry about him.

***

The shrill ring of the phone was louder than the doorbell and Colby groaned loudly as the sound ricocheted in his skull. He blindly reached for the phone, cursing when he accidentally swatted it under the end table instead. He stared at it morosely. Stared at them. The room was spinning and there was three of everything. He closed his eyes, feeling like he'd throw up if he didn't.

***

There could have been a perfectly legitimate reason for Colby not to answer his phone. Or his door. But Liz was worried. She knew that things had been tough for him at work; had a good idea that things hadn't been much better in his personal life, though he hadn't told her very much.

She looked down at the key in her hand and made a quick decision. Putting the food back in her car, she let herself into the apartment, calling, "Colby?" as she headed through the hall.

Colby may have been drunk and under the effects of prescription narcotics, but he was still a highly trained agent. He knew when someone was in his personal space. Luckily, he also knew the voice that followed his realizing someone was in his space. "Liz? Whuzzup?" he slurred. His bleary-eyed glance in her direction was unfocused.

Liz quickly headed to Colby's side, peering into his eyes and listening to the slurring in his voice. And she noticed the empty beer bottles and the prescription bottle. "Damnit, Colby. Did you drink with the meds?" She grabbed her phone, intending to call 911.

"Only beer." Colby swallowed. "Nothing really strong...." he over-enunciated.

"I'm still taking you to the hospital." Liz wrapped an arm around his shoulders, so she could pull him to his feet. "There's a reason you shouldn't mix medication and alcohol."

"Yesss, maaam!" Colby gave Liz a loopy grin and wrapped one arm over her shoulders. "Are we going now?"

 "We are going now," Liz replied, leading him from the apartment. After making sure the door was locked behind them, she guided him to her car.

“You won't tell Don, will you?" Colby asked, suddenly realizing that having to go to the hospital because he'd mixed prescription meds with alcohol might result in several more weeks of forced medical leave and mandated therapy to make certain he was mentally ready to return to the job. If it was reported, anyway.

Liz began driving towards the hospital. "Colby, I don't think keeping this from him is the right thing to do. I don't think you're handling things right now." She sighed. "I don't think anyone's handling things right now."

"If you tell him, he'll have to report it... what... if they make me take time off again, I'll go crazy, Liz. Work is the only thing keeping me going..." Colby admitted, in a broken tone.

Liz glanced sideways at him, biting her lip and sighed. "Damn it, Colby." She continued to drive. "I won't tell him. But I want you to stay with me for the next week or so. I don't think being alone is doing any good for you right now."

"I don't want to put you out..." Colby said uncertainly. It wasn't a refusal, though. It was obvious being alone at home while only one person talked to him at work was getting to him.

"It won't be putting me out," Liz answered. "I could do with the company," she admitted. "I figure you can too." She pulled up outside the hospital.

"I... thanks..." Colby swallowed, not arguing when she parked and came around to help him inside. He felt weak and shaky and didn't know what they'd do to help him, but the hospital was likely the safest place for him at the moment.

***

The hospital had ended up keeping Colby in overnight for observation. Liz hadn't strayed far, not wanting him to feel alone. She didn't think either of them had got much sleep and by the time she was able to leave with Colby again, she commented, "I figured we can go by your place. Pick up your things. Drop them at my place. I've called in already to say we need to take a half day. Figured we can rest up a bit, then go lean on that suspect."

"They didn't complain about that? I was already supposed to have the full day off, despite my telling them I didn't need it and wanted to come into work..." Colby huffed softly. "Wouldn't have drunk so much if I was supposed to come in..." He looked at her sideways.

Liz shrugged. "I figure you'll do better with something to do. But we both didn't get much sleep at the hospital. So, we'll rest up some before working the case." Glancing at him, she added, "You shouldn't have been drinking on the medication, whether you were coming into work or not."

"I know..." Colby sighed. "Didn't care while I was doing it, though. Sorry I worried you, though..." He gave her an apologetic smile.

"You're my friend, Colby," Liz said. "I'm going to worry about you." She pulled up outside his apartment. "I'll head in with you. Help you grab what you need."

"Thanks..." Colby said quietly. His gratitude was for more than just her help.

Liz just reached over and squeezed his hand, then climbed out of the car and moved round to open his door...keeping an eye on him in case he was in pain and needed support.

With Liz's help, it didn't take long at all for him to pack a bag of essentials. He packed enough for a week. It wasn't like he couldn't come by and pick up anything he forgot.

Liz smiled at him. "Got everything you need? We can always come back if need be."

"I think so..." Colby grinned. "Not like I have that much to pack anyway, but yeah. I got what I need."

Liz led the way out of the apartment, sticking close to him in case he needed any support. "I know you must have lost some things important to you. If you give me a list of what you're missing, I'll see if I can track anything down."

"I appreciate that..." Colby sounded somber. "I don't have many possessions that mean something, but..." He shrugged slightly, before getting into the car.

Liz got into the car as she said, seriously, "I want to do what I can to help you get back what's important to you."

"You're a good person... a good friend," Colby said gratefully. "I'm lucky to have you on my side."

"I always will be," Liz promised. "Even if I don't always agree with your actions," she added.

"And you'll tell me then? If I do something you don't agree with..." Colby nodded.

"Just like I did last night," Liz said. "I'll tell you I don't agree. I'll get you any help you need. But I won't stop being your friend. And I won't stop caring about you." She began driving in the direction of her apartment.

"I hope you know the same holds true for me. I'll be there for you as much as I'm able," Colby promised.

"I know," Liz replied. "I believe in you, Colby."

Colby smiled at that, leaning back into the seat and watching the scenery go by as they drove. It was a comfortable silence. He felt safe.

Liz didn't speak until she parked outside their apartment. Then, she reached over and gently squeezed Colby's hand. "We're here."

"This is a quiet neighborhood. Looks safe..." Colby approved. It was always nice to know his friends were safe.

"I have more than enough excitement at work. I don't need any where I live." Liz got out of the car and moved round to open the door for Colby to get out too.

Colby got out of the car carefully, grabbing his bag then moving to Liz's side so she could lead him to her apartment.

Liz led the way into her apartment and began showing him round. "This is the guest room you can sleep in."

Colby carefully put his bag in the room. "Thanks. I think I'd like a shower and then a nap. I can buy us takeout for lunch. I owe you more than one...."

"We're friends," Liz said gently. "You don't owe me anything. Help yourself to anything you need. I've got some groceries in. I can make us sandwiches for lunch."

"Okay... I don't owe you... but I'd still like to do something nice for you. If you don't want take-out, is there something you would like?" Colby asked, with an honest smile.

Liz thought about it and then smiled. "You know what would be nice? Later, after we visit this suspect, just relaxing in front of a movie. It's been a while since I had company."

"Well, I can do that easily. I can even make popcorn." Colby grinned.

"Sounds perfect." Liz grinned back at him. "You go ahead and shower and take a nap. I'll probably do the same."

"Will do. Wake me up thirty minutes before you want to go for that interview?" Colby smiled.

"I will," Liz promised. "If you wake up and need me before then, you can always come and disturb me. I won't mind."

"Appreciate that. Hopefully, that won't be necessary..." Colby grinned, before walking into the guestroom and closing the door. Kicking off his shoes, he lay on top of the bed. Soon, he was fast asleep.

Liz did check some of the information in the file, but it had been a long night for both of them. It didn't take long before she headed into her bedroom and stretched out on the bed, falling asleep quickly after setting an alarm.

***

The nap was enough to give Colby the energy he needed to go on the interview with Liz. They'd found a new lead and despite Don's lukewarm praise, Colby counted it a win. At least Don had acknowledged him. Things didn't seem quite as hopeless.

Later that evening, Liz prepared some food for them and then settled down on the couch next to Colby. "Any movie in particular you're interested in watching?"

"No preference. But a comedy of some sort would be good..." Colby smiled and handed her a drink.

Liz took the drink and immediately settled back in place, putting the bowl of popcorn between them before setting a comedy film on the television.

***

Several more weeks passed and a routine was formed. He and Liz would have breakfast and drive in together most times, because it saved gas and because it enabled him to go into work on the days, he'd had a rough night and was on his pain medication. No one seemed to realize he'd moved in with Liz for all intents and purposes.

The office had an uneasy stalemate going. Colby didn't push to try and get closer to the others, letting them decide if and when they would talk to him. It resulted in only talking to David when a case dictated, they needed to and only talking to Megan and Don in short, impersonal conversations that were ended as soon as possible. If it weren't for Liz and the other agents not on the team, he might have asked for a transfer. They made up for the disconnect he felt with the rest of his team and he felt like he owed it to them and himself not to give up.

He still had his apartment and went by long enough to pick up mail and check on things. The plan was for him to go back there once he was completely through with therapy, both physical and mental. He and Liz had just gone by and picked up his mail and had just got back to her apartment. He anxiously looked at a small package from his sister, reluctant to open it.

"Are you okay?" Liz asked him softly, noticing the hesitant way he held the package; how reluctant he was to open it. She stepped over to Colby and placed a hand on his arm. "You don't have to open it straight away. And even when you do open it, you don't have to be alone. I'll be here," she promised.

"I better open it. This is the first I've heard from her since the night before I came to stay with you..." he admitted quietly. Taking a breath, he opened the package, pulling out five envelopes, obviously bills, and a single sheet of paper. On the paper was the words, 'Insurance didn't cover this. It's your fault. You pay them.'

Liz reached out and placed her hand on Colby's, gently squeezing. "Let's go and sit down," she suggested. While she couldn't see what the paper said, she doubted it was anything pleasant or loving.

Taking a slow breath and letting it out with a miserable sigh, Colby let himself be led to the table and sat. He set the paper where Liz could look at it, pulling the invoices out of the envelopes. It would take half a year of his pay to cover them all. He wasn't certain why there hadn't been any money left in his mother's accounts to cover any portion of the bills; it wasn't like his mother to have spent everything. He suspected this was just his sister trying to punish him; there was money to cover it in his mother's estate, but his sister wanted him to suffer more.

It made him angry that she refused to talk to him, but expected him to just roll over and take whatever she dished out. It made him heartsick that she blamed him so completely. The worst of it was, he didn't think she was wrong. He couldn't help thinking if he hadn't been so deep undercover and could have told his mother the truth, she wouldn't have had a major heart attack... literally dying of a broken heart. It was his fault.

Liz moved so that she was sitting close to Colby, within touching distance. She let her side lean against his; took his hand and squeezed it gently. "This shouldn't be entirely your responsibility, Colby. It'll be best to get a professional to take a look at this."

"I... she already blames me for Mom dying. I don't need her hating me for not covering my share..." he mumbled, ignoring the fact she was telling him to cover more than his share. His voice was hopeless.

"It wasn't your fault." She wrapped her arms around him, giving him a tight hug. "And this is far more than your share. You don't need to sacrifice so much because she's wrongfully blaming you for something that could have happened whether you were undercover or not."

"It was hearing I was a traitor that brought the heart attack on. It was believing it that caused her not to fight to come back..." Colby's voice shook as he tried not to break down. "If I hadn't been under cover, maybe she would have had a heart attack... but I could have been by her side and encouraging her to fight instead of giving up..." His voice caught.

Liz hugged him tighter. "You can't know that for sure. You can't blame yourself. You're not responsible for what happened. No matter what your sister says. She's angry and grieving and lashing out at you because it's easier."

"She has to be a little right. Otherwise, Don and the others would have forgiven me by now... instead of just tolerating me..." Colby swallowed hard.

"That's their mistake," Liz said firmly. "If they didn't still care, you wouldn't be on the team. Don wouldn't have let you back on the team if he didn't want you there."

Colby swallowed again. "I... I know you're right about that. It still feels all wrong..." he admitted bleakly. He didn't say it hurt. He figured that was probably evident in his tone.

"I'm sorry," Liz murmured. "Charlie enjoys seeing you and spending time with you. Don will come round. I know it sounds like a copout, but he needs time to get his head around what's happened. It's taking longer than it should, but he'll get through it eventually."

"What if it never happens, Liz? I know he let me back on the team because he knows I'm not a traitor and he trusts me mentally. But what if he's never able to get past what I did emotionally? I don't know if I can stay where... where I'm only tolerated because they feel like they should tolerate me or need to, but don't really want me there." Colby wiped at his eyes.

"I want you there," Liz said firmly. "And Charlie wants you there too. Look, why don't I reach out to Charlie? Invite him to grab a coffee with us in the next couple of days? It'll give you two a chance to talk outside of work."

Colby took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. "Yeah... that... that would be good. In the meantime, I need to find someone that can help me budget for this..." He motioned toward the bills.

Liz frowned. "I think we should still find a professional to look into exactly how much, if anything, you should be paying."

"Yeah. Maybe they'll figure out something and I don't owe so much..." Colby agreed hesitantly, still unwilling to argue with his sister over it, but hoping there was a way through the situation that didn't involve bankrupting him.

"Charlie would probably be willing to help, too," Liz commented. "At the very least, if you still have to pay a lot, he can run the numbers and work out the budget."

Colby nodded. "That would be good..." He sounded a little less stressed at realizing he would have help to figure things out.

Liz hugged him a bit tighter. "We should get something to eat and drink. Then I'll give Charlie a call. Unless you'd like to? He'd probably want to hear from you," she added.

"I'll call him now... Thanks, Liz." Colby didn't sound happy, but he didn't sound as worried either, so it was obvious Liz had helped him, at least a little.

"You're welcome." Liz hugged him a few more moments before pulling back with a smile. "And while you're doing that, I'll get food ready."

Charlie answered on the second ring and by the time Colby had spoken to him and hung up the phone, they had made plans to meet for lunch the next day and Charlie had given him the number of a financial lawyer he could call for advice about the bills his sister had sent him. He walked into the kitchen and gave Liz a relieved smile. "He gave me a number to call and I'm meeting him for lunch tomorrow. It will be nice to see him outside the office..." he remarked.

Liz returned the smile, plating up food for the two of them. "Do you want me to come along? Or do you think you'd rather spend some time with Charlie just the two of you? I'm good either way. I can meet you afterwards."

"He said something about bringing Amita, so I don't see why you shouldn't come too..." Colby got out drinks for both of them.

"Okay. I like the sound of that." Liz put the plates on the table.

"Yeah. I'm glad Amita wants to come too... I... it's nice knowing she isn't reluctant to be around me. Feels good to know Charlie isn't reluctant to see me..." Colby placed the drinks, then waited for Liz to sit before taking his own seat.

Liz sat down. "I know Charlie's been happy seeing you whenever you've interacted at work. It's not a stretch that he'd be happy to see you outside of work too."

"Yeah. I just. At work, he is hesitant. I wasn't sure if it was because he felt uncomfortable around me, or if it was because he didn't want to upset Don and the others by acting normal with me...." Colby smiled crookedly.

"He probably hasn't wanted to upset anyone," Liz commented, beginning to eat.

"Yeah. Since he seemed happy to go to lunch tomorrow, I think that was what was happening." Colby began to eat.

"Anything you'd like to do after we've eaten?" Liz asked. "Play a game? Watch a movie?"

"We can just watch TV. I'm a little tired, so I might make an early night of it." Colby smiled.

"Of course," Liz replied. "I'll clean up if you want to find something for us to watch for a bit."

"If you're sure. I can help clean up too..." Colby hesitated.

"It's not going to take me long," Liz answered. "Don't worry about it. If I need help, I'll ask for it."

"Okay... if you're sure..." Colby smiled and went into the living room. Turning on the TV, he began to hunt for a show both he and Liz would like.

Liz finished cleaning up and then brought in drinks and snacks to the living room to join him.

Colby was able to watch two shows with Liz before he just couldn't stay awake any longer. "Thanks, Liz... I'll see you in the morning." He smiled, before going to bed. He was quickly asleep.

***

Don winced as he looked through the case files that had been sent to him and sighed, running a hand through his hair. Great. He was managing to deal with the Colby situation due to the fact that Liz had taken in the other man and Colby seemed to be responding well to her. But this new directive, coming from his own superiors....

He couldn't announce it to the rest of the team. Not without talking to Liz first. And it was possible he needed to tell Colby himself, too. As hard as it was to speak to the other man, he knew Colby was putting in an effort. It wasn't the other man's fault Don was still struggling with what had been revealed.

Colby and Liz were at Colby's desk, comparing notes from the interview they'd just gone on. Colby laughed loudly at something Liz had said before abruptly stopping and glancing around with an apologetically nervous, sheepish look on his face.

Don walked over to the two of them, pausing as he heard the laugh from Colby; not because he saw a problem with it, but because it had been so long since he'd heard the other man laugh, he almost didn't recognize the sound. He stopped when he was close enough to them that he could talk without needing to raise his voice. "Liz, I need to talk to you...and Colby, I think it's something that you need to hear as well."

Colby blinked, a nervous look crossing his face before he schooled it into calm acceptance. "Yes, sir..." He waited to see if Don turned to go to his office, or if he began talking to them where they were.

Don turned and began walking towards his office, hoping that the little bit of privacy would help.

Liz reached out and squeezed Colby's hand, smiling at him reassuringly even if she couldn't help feeling a bit apprehensive herself. She followed Don without speaking.

Swallowing, Colby followed Liz. He could feel the eyes of other agents watching, specifically David and Megan, and did his best not to look like a naughty child being called into the principal's office.

Don didn't speak until the three of them were inside the office and then he picked up the case files and handed them to Liz. "You're wanted on an undercover operation." Glancing at Colby, he then continued, "You two have been partnered up for a while. I don't want to announce this in front of everyone until you've had a chance to take it in."

Liz glanced at the file and then looked up at Don. "Can I back out?"

"No." Don's voice was terse. He'd already looked at it, wanting to give her the option to refuse if she wanted. But while his superiors hadn't come right out and said it, the implication had been clear that a refusal would have ended up with Liz being demoted and perhaps even moved off the team entirely.

Colby knew the only reason he'd been brought in was because Liz was the only agent willing to work with him and her being gone for even a little while was about to make his life a bit more difficult. Still, her not being given a choice aside, going undercover would be a good opportunity for her career-wise and he didn't like the idea of her hindering her own future because she was worried about his ability to handle things without her. "Can I see the file?" He stayed calm. Having been undercover so long himself, he thought he'd be able to point out any areas she needed to be careful or Don might be able to request better support for her.

Liz glanced at Don, who nodded, and then she handed the file to Colby.

"While Liz is gone, Colby, you'll be partnered with me," Don said. He wasn't upset or irritated at the fact, but he didn't know how to fall back into the easy way they'd interacted before. And that was on him, rather than the other man.

Colby looked up from the papers at that and gave a hesitant nod. He couldn't tell Don's true feelings on the matter, but he could tell Don wasn't comfortable about it. The others most likely would be worse, or Don would have hoisted Colby onto them instead. "Yes, Sir," he finally said, looking back down at the assignment.

"Um... Don?" he said hesitantly, a few moments later, waiting for indication he should continue before speaking again. "It says here she has one handler and no one but you and the one planning the op knows she is undercover. She isn't investigating law enforcement. Is it possible for her to get a few more people in her corner that will know the truth? In case something happens to her handler? So, she isn't left stranded alone if something goes wrong?" He paused before continuing, "Where they have her going, she couldn't call you to save her like I did...." His voice trailed off nervously, as he had to remind everyone of his past actions.

Don nodded and let himself lean against the desk; not slumping wearily into his chair, like he'd rather do. "Yeah. That's concerning me as well," he admitted. "Trouble is, there's no one I trust enough outside of these offices to bring in." He looked at Liz. "Do you have anyone else you trust?"

"The same people as you," Liz answered honestly. "Colby. You. David. Megan. Charlie."

"So, us." Don looked at Colby, not showing any indication of how he felt that Liz had listed Colby as who she trusted before him. "We could set her up with a burner phone linked to the identity she's under. Put in contacts with the normal names you'd find in a phone. Only they'd be coming through to one of us."

“Not ideal, but better than nothing. Even if we can't reach her immediately, we'd be able to start shaking trees to get her help..." Colby nodded. "You gonna get her handler's permission, or just do it? Maybe you can do the same for them; burner phone they can call if something happens that she needs to be warned and they can't reach her. Or just a signal if things go wrong and you need to help get her out. If my handler had been able to warn me or get someone a signal... maybe he'd still be alive and I wouldn't have walked into a trap."

Colby tried not to sound bitter. He'd been the one to agree to being a triple agent, after all. But looking back on everything, he wished he hadn't been so naive as to trust that it was impossible to bring anyone else onto the team. Once he'd cleared Don and his team of suspicion, he should have insisted that his handler coordinate with Don, at the least. But he'd believed his handler knew best. Even over his own instincts.

Don hesitated, giving the question some serious thought. "I'm going to bring up the situation with the handler. See how they react. If they agree, then I'll let them know the plans and provide them with a burner phone too. In case the worse happens. But if they don't react well, we'll still go ahead. They just won't be involved."

Colby nodded. He didn't voice that it was a good idea. But it would be obvious in the way he relaxed that Don's plan had relieved him.

Liz glanced at Don, then spoke to Colby. "Maybe you can give me some pointers later? Since you're the only person I know who's gone undercover."

"I'll give you anything you need to get through this as safe as possible..." Colby promised. He sounded haunted.

"You do that," Don said. "And while you are, I'll arrange the burner phones. Anything else I can think of that will help."

Colby nodded, taking the words as an order. He couldn't help wondering; if he'd disobeyed orders and told Don the truth, if the older man would have worked to protect him as hard. He didn't ask. It wasn't like he could go back in time, after all and he didn't want to rock the boat with such a question. "When does the op start?" he asked faintly, instead.

"We have twenty-four hours." Don looked at both of them as he said, "If you need to take the day off to prepare, you have permission. There are no active cases and I know, Colby, you'll want to do as much as you can to help Liz."

"So, we meet back here first thing in the morning?" Liz asked.

"Maybe not here," Don replied. "Come to my dad's. I'll ask Charlie if he can run any numbers. Give us anything to look out for or any extra ideas for safety."

Colby looked at Liz to see if she wanted to take the day off to prepare. "Want to stay here, or go home to get ready?" he asked quietly.

Liz hesitated. "I think I'd rather go home," she admitted. "Take the day to prepare. Mentally as well."

Colby nodded. Turning to Don, he asked, "Am I allowed to go with her to help her get ready?" He thought Don had said he was, but he needed to confirm.

Don nodded. "Take as long as you need. If you need more than 24 hours, I'll do my best to give it to you," he promised.

"Thanks..." Colby smiled uncertainly. He didn't know if Don had enough pull to give Liz more time, or if the offer extended to him, but Don was looking at him when he said it. So, he had to hope that both options were possible.

"If you need anything else, let me know," Don said. "I'll do what I can to help. While you two are figuring things out, I'll contact Charlie and get those burner phones sorted."

Liz nodded. "Okay," she agreed.

"Yessir. Are we excused now?" Colby cringed inside at how formal and by the book he sounded.  The easy comradery he'd had with Don before his betrayal eluded him now. He wasn't sure Don would want it anyway.

"Yeah." Don winced inwardly, able to hear how stilted he himself sounded. "Just call. If you need anything or think of anything."

"We will." Liz glanced at Colby and then headed out of the office, slowing her steps so they could walk out together.

Colby quickly followed Liz out to their desks, where they gathered all their belongings to head home. He didn't say anything until they were in the car. "We'll do everything possible to make sure you are safe...."

"I know." Liz's response was given immediately and without hesitation. "I trust you."

"Even so... we won't be able to talk or make contact except in a dire emergency... I'm going to miss you..." Colby admitted sheepishly.

"I'll miss you too." Liz reached out and gripped his hand. "But I'll be back as soon as possible. And you'll help me figure out ways to stay safe."

"Definitely!" Colby promised.

Liz smiled at him. "And make sure you see Charlie while I'm gone? I don't want you shutting yourself in the apartment on your own."

"I will." Colby smiled at her. "Now that we've met up again, I don't think he'd let me hide away in the apartment." He laughed softly.

"Good," Liz said firmly. She squeezed his hand gently as they drove back to the apartment.

***

Colby had spent the rest of the day helping Liz prepare and giving her pointers for keeping her cover. It was now the following morning and they were driving to Alan Eppes' house. Don would give her last minute instructions, as well as the burner phones. She was due to meet up with her handler at the office at one o'clock, so they would have lunch at Alan's. Colby was nervous. Not just because after meeting her handler, Liz would be gone, but also because this was the first time, he'd see Mr. Eppes since he'd hurt and disappointed the man's sons. He swallowed his nervousness for Liz, though. She didn't need to be worrying about him when she was going into a dangerous situation.

Liz glanced at Colby, noticing that he was quiet and fairly sure she had a good idea of why. Reaching out to squeeze his hand, she said gently, "I know Mr. Eppes is an unknown, but you've spent time with both me and Charlie. Even if Don and his father are unhappy, you've still got two people in your corner."

Colby chuckled. "Yeah. Although, it does make me nervous. I always felt like stepping out of line would get my ears boxed."

"I don't think you have to worry about stepping out of line at the moment." Liz smiled at him, before saying softly, "I'll be okay. The mission won't last a really long time. And you've helped me prepare a lot."

"You'll be okay. I swear I won't let what happened to me happen to you. We've done everything possible to make sure it doesn't..." Colby said somberly.

"I know. I trust you." They'd reached the house now and Liz parked the car, then leaned over to give him a hug.

Colby hugged back, then got out of the car, taking a deep breath before moving to Liz's side so they could walk up together.

Liz walked next to him, towards the house, reaching to grab his hand; because she wanted to stay in some kind of contact with him.

Colby was just about to ring the doorbell when the door opened. "You're here! Great! Come in and help me convince Dad he's made enough food! Otherwise, you and I will be taking home a week's worth of left overs!" Charlie exclaimed, grabbing both Liz and Colby by the arm and pulling them through to the kitchen.

Colby couldn't help the slightly nervous look he gave Alan Eppes when he finally faced the man for the first time in months.

"Colby." Alan smiled at him. "It's good to finally see you. How are you feeling? You look like you've recovered. At least physically." He started to set drinks out on the table.

Colby relaxed when Alan treated him like he always had, welcoming. "I'm doing a lot better. I finally got out of physical therapy. Still in the other type..." He blushed slightly. It was hard to admit he needed emotional help.

"There's no shame in that," Alan said firmly. "Sit down. What would you like to drink?"

Don came into the room at that point, carrying one of the trays of food.

"Is it too early for a beer?" Colby asked, only half joking. His best friend was about to head into a dangerous situation where he couldn't help and he was going to be left in a group that only tolerated him (with the exception of Charlie; and maybe Alan Eppes). The urge to drink was getting stronger.

Liz nudged Colby gently in the side. "No beer this early while I'm here," she said. "I want this time to be when we both have clear minds."

Colby gave a sheepish smile. "Yes, ma'am. Clear head all the way..." he promised.

Alan took a seat as he commented, "You're more than welcome to come here any time, Colby."

Don sat without a comment, but it relieved him that his father was willing to extend that hand to Colby. He knew he wasn't handling things well either, but tried a half-joking comment. "I'm not drinking either. Not sure my supervisors will be too happy if I try to report while tipsy."

Colby snorted. "Yeah. Another reason to refrain. They would give you just as much grief if I came in tipsy and I don't think I'm up for a Don Eppes' lecture, even if it is fueled by the higher ups demands..." he hesitantly teased.

Don managed a smile that actually showed sincerity and was real, even if it wasn't quite as natural as it once had been. "Neither of us want that, so I think we'd be better off sticking to juice and water."

Colby's hesitant smile became a little more relaxed and open at Don's genuine response. "This looks really good, Mr. Eppes," he said to Don's father.

Alan smiled. "Good. I'm glad. You can take any leftovers home with you, too."

"It does look really good," Liz said with feeling, not mentioning that she'd miss it while she was away. Hopefully, she wouldn't need to be gone for long.

"Thank you, sir. I really appreciate it..." Colby responded gratefully. It would be one less thing to worry about, having food made and waiting for him.

The group chatted fairly casually as they began eating and drinking. It was after dessert that Don handed the burner phone to Liz. "All of the numbers you might need are stored, under innocuous contacts that make sense for your role."

"Thank you," Liz answered, taking the phone.

"Be careful..." Colby said needlessly. He knew she'd be as careful as she was able.

"I will," Liz promised. "I'll check in when it's safe to do so. Like I'm texting Mom or whoever." She smiled reassuringly.

Colby nodded, forcing himself to relax. Liz was more than competent and unlike when he went undercover, she didn't have to hide it from everyone. She'd be fine.

Don began clearing the table; partly to help out his father, partly to give Colby and Liz a bit of extra time if they needed it.

"I guess this is where you get the keys to the car your new identity owns, put your bags in and head east..." Colby said, with a tiny smile. "Try not to have too much fun in Vegas...."

"When this is over, maybe we can take a vacation," Liz suggested. "It'll be a nice way to release tension."

"Yeah... go to the mountains, where we don't have to be around people maybe..." Colby agreed.

Liz smiled at him. "That would be perfect."

"I'll walk you out," Colby said quietly, before picking up the bag Liz had brought into the house with her. He began slowly moving to the door so that they could walk beside each other, letting her walk in front when they came to the door.

Liz walked as close to him as she could, taking advantage of their closeness for as long as she could.

Soon, they had reached the car and Colby had put her bag in the trunk. Opening the driver side door for her, he smiled brightly, though his eyes weren't quite as happy. "You have a full tank of gas and I snuck some of your favorite snacks into your purse when you weren't looking. Drive safe...."

"Thank you." Liz stepped forward and hugged him. "If I can, I'll check in every day," she promised.

"You shouldn't..." Colby said soberly. "Your handler set it up so that he was your dad and you could call him every day. If you call someone not in your ID's history every day, they might make you. Just make sure you call him every day and he'll make sure we know you're okay... and we'll pass on news too...."

"It's all right." Liz smiled at him. "The cover story will be that you're my boyfriend. So, I have a reason to message or call you. And your number's in my phone. Not under your real name. The others are, too, also under different names and roles."

Colby looked surprised at that. "They let you do that? When the assignment was first mentioned, they made it sound like it was imperative you only contact your handler in case of emergency...." He looked a little more relaxed when he realized she truly wasn't going to be cut off completely the way he had been.

"I think it was Don who set that up," Liz answered. "He seems about as happy with this as you. As in not at all." She hugged him a bit tighter. "Please don't do anything stupid. At least until I get back and can talk you out of it," she said worriedly.

"I'll try..." Colby said, in a teasing tone. "Long as I realize it is stupid, I promise not to do it." He didn't comment on Don being the one to arrange them being able to stay in contact. He figured that was as much for Don as it was for him. Liz was right. Don wasn't happy about her assignment.

Liz kissed his cheek. "I'll see you soon," she promised. "Check in as much as I can. Keep up with everything you've been doing so far. You've been doing great." She got in the car.

"Thanks for noticing how great I am!" Colby mock preened, before leaning into the car window and kissing her on the cheek. "Be safe." He pulled back so she could drive off.

Waving to him, Liz put the car into gear and then drove away.

Colby watched her drive off, staring after her until the car could no longer be seen. Once out of sight, he turned and looked toward his own car. Part of him just wanted to drive home, but it would be rude to leave without saying anything to Alan... and he did still have to go into the office. It would make a difficult afternoon if Don was upset at him being rude to his father. Sighing silently, Colby walked back into the house.

Don hadn't ignored the two of them; he'd watched from the window, wanting to offer his own support, but still finding it hard to reach out that olive branch to Colby. With the other man coming back inside, he was quick to grab the boxed leftovers his father had set up.

Alan walked out of the kitchen to join them. "You have a long-standing invitation to join us for meals," he told Colby. "Whenever you're free."

Colby gave Alan a startled, but grateful look. "Thank you, Mr. Eppes. I'll remember that..." he answered, in an evasive way. There was no way he'd just invite himself. Open invitation or not. This was Don and Charlie's family home. He knew Don wasn't comfortable around him.

Don held the boxes out to Colby, speaking a bit hesitantly but still genuinely. "If you need anything, you can reach out to me. I'll try to help."

Colby looked at Don and gave an uncertain smile. "Thank you... I know you have my back..." he said softly. It was true. He may not believe Don wanted him around, but he knew he could trust the other man to help him if needed.

"Always," Don agreed. "Do you want to head to the office with me? Or maybe Charlie?" he suggested, knowing things might be less awkward with his brother.

"Liz and I drove over in my car, so I'd have to return back for it if I rode in with someone..." Colby said, in an almost apologetic tone. Don was extending an olive branch; he didn't want to seem dismissive of it.

"Good. It gives you a reason to come by for dinner," Alan put in.

Colby blinked at that. He'd planned to go back to the apartment and mope, if he were being honest with himself. There wasn't a good reason not to do as Alan suggested. Other than Don feeling uncomfortable. "Are you sure? I'd hate to put you to a lot of trouble on my account..." he finally said.

"More than sure," Alan replied firmly. "Go with Don into the office. He can drive you back after work for dinner."

Don nodded and put the boxes of leftovers down. "These can go with you when you leave later." He headed towards the door, expecting that Colby would go with him.

"Y... yes, sir..." Colby quickly grabbed his gear. "I'll see you tonight then, Mr. Eppes!" He waved goodbye and quickly followed Don out to the car. This would be the first time he was alone with Don for more than a few seconds, since the interrogation where he lied about being a traitor. He couldn't help fidgeting as he waited for questions, he knew Don had to have, but wasn't sure he'd be able to answer. Or waited for a heavy silence to blanket him as they drove to the office. He wasn't sure which would be worse.

Once they were in the car, Don took a deep breath and made a comment he figured would be on fairly neutral ground. "Not sure if Liz told you or not, but I set up a cover for her and you. As her boyfriend. I figured you might feel better so long as she has a good excuse to check in with you."

"She mentioned it... Thank you... for letting me be in the circle able to help her. I know her handler would have preferred it just be you...." Colby said.

He didn't ask about Don making his cover that of a boyfriend. He and Liz weren't a couple and while Colby knew she and Don had put a hold on their own dating relationship, he'd thought they might start dating again. He had the sudden worrisome thought that maybe Don was giving up on her because he thought she and Colby were together. Was he standing in the way of Liz and Don's potential happiness? How would he even ask to find out such a thing?

"I wouldn't have sent her," Don said. "I know she's a capable agent, like you. But you've also been thriving together when you're on the same team." He knew it hadn't been easy on Colby, coming back. Don might not have known how to reach out to the other man, still didn't really know how to talk to him as easily as before, but he knew Colby and Liz cared about each other.

"She's more than capable. She won't make the same mistakes I did..." Colby said. "She... she's helped a lot. Helped center me. I would have self-destructed without her," he admitted. "She's a good friend...."

Don glanced at Colby and cleared his throat. "I know it's not the same, but if you need to reach out...if you think you might fall into a dark place again...you've got my number. Reach out if you need to."

Colby darted a glance toward Don, trying to read him... see if he meant it or was just saying it because he felt obligated. "Yeah... okay. I'll try..." he said carefully.

"I mean it, Colby," Don said, his voice serious. "I know things haven't exactly been easy, but I don't want you to spiral. I don't want you self-destructing. If you need help, I want you to reach out. Even if all you do is text me SOS."

Colby blinked as he realized Don was genuinely concerned. It made him feel good. It also made him feel a bit awkward and churlish. He hadn't thought Don cared, so he hadn't done anything to make it easier for the older man. Would things have got better faster if he hadn't assumed Don disliked him? "Yessir..." His voice was soft. Impulsively, he blurted, "I thought you hated me... I'm sorry I've made things so hard for everyone...."

"No." Don sighed. "I never hated you, Colby. You wouldn't have been back on the team if that was the case. Things have been difficult all round, I know." He hesitated. "I mean, I wanted you here today. At Dad's. Not just Liz. It'd be good if you continue to come. Not just while she's gone."

To Colby's horror and chagrin, he began to cry at the words. Silent tears for certain, but big and fat, and impossible to miss if Don looked at his face. He turned toward the window and tried to get control over himself. "I... I'd like to do that..." He sounded uncertain and his voice was shaky from the effort to stop crying and he wasn't sure he'd be able to do it. Bawling in front of his boss wasn't high on his list of things to do, but he'd felt so disconnected for so long (even with Liz and Charlie) that suddenly finding himself reconnected to two other live wires had caused a shock. He was pretty sure Don could tell he was crying and he felt ashamed.

Don winced, mostly at the fact that it was clear Colby had been second-guessing how much he was wanted. How much he was still needed on the team. He pulled over onto the side of the road and gave into his instincts. Colby had always felt like a brother to him, so he reacted how he would if it was Charlie in pain and crying. He wrapped his arms around the other man and held on tight.

Colby had given Don a nervous look as they pulled over, he stiffened as Don's arms wrapped around him, but then he was clinging to the older man and shaking with repressed tears. "I'm sorry..." he kept repeating, over and over. He needed Don's forgiveness. Maybe he hadn't truly done anything wrong, but he needed it anyway.

Don hugged Colby, the embrace tightening as the other man didn't push him away. "You don't need to be sorry, Col. I know it was a bad situation all round." He took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're back on the team. I'm glad you wanted to stay."

"I hurt everyone... I almost tore the team apart... everyone is miserable because of me..." Colby hiccupped. His voice was low, miserable, broken. Almost as if he was thinking of something or someone else while he 'confessed'.

Don sighed at that. "No, Col. It wasn't your fault." He frowned, wondering...and pulled back enough to look into the other man's eyes. "Did something else happen? Something bad in your home life?"

Colby couldn't face Don. Both because he knew Don would tell him he wasn't to blame and because while he knew, deep down, he wasn't to blame, he couldn't help blaming himself. "Momma died cuz of me. Her heart broke when she found out I was a traitor... she never got to learn I wasn't..." He swallowed, still looking away from Don. "She died ashamed of me... I killed her..." His voice caught. He'd told Liz a lot about his family and how his sister blamed him. This was the first time he admitted out loud he blamed himself.

Don frowned at that and undid both his seatbelt and Colby's own. He moved closer to the younger man, wrapping his arms more tightly around Colby. "I know how it feels to blame yourself for something like that," he whispered. "But you didn't kill her. It wasn't your fault. Wasn't your responsibility. It wasn't your fault that you didn't reach out to me before. You trusted that your handler would have your back. You didn't expect things to reach the point they did." He paused. "I know it's going to take time for you to reach that point. I don't think you should be alone. Not sure you'll be happy having your boss as a roommate, but I'd like to be there for you, Colby."

Colby let out an unhappy laugh, not even attempting to pull away, although part of him felt like he should. "That's what Liz said when she told me to move in with her..." he admitted. He knew Liz had kept her promise not to tell anyone about the drinking with his medication. He wondered if that was something, he should admit to Don... test to see if he'd push the man away despite Don's words. But he didn't want to see worry or disappointment in Don's eyes any more than he'd wanted to see it in Liz's. And it wasn't like he planned to do it again.

"I think she's right," Don said. "I'm not offering to do this out of a sense of duty. I think you should move in with me because I think it would be good for you. You don't need to be alone with your grief. And I want to be there for you."

"I... I can't say you're wrong to worry..." Colby admitted hesitantly. "I... I feel like you should know something before making the offer, though. I kept a secret, made Liz promise not to tell; she only agreed if I moved in with her and promised never to do it again. But... it wouldn't feel right moving in with you if you didn't know what you were getting yourself in for ..." He pulled back and withdrew inside himself slightly. If Don took his confession the wrong way, it would be better to be detached.

Don moved a bit nearer, reaching out and placing a hand on Colby's arm. "Did you do something dangerous?" he asked softly, knowing full well what Colby's normal behavior had been like. He winced, reflecting that his own attitude hadn't really helped things. At all. Colby's behavior now indicated how much the younger man was hurting and guilt stabbed through Don that he'd let things get so bad.

"I didn't know about mamma until I was released from the hospital..." Colby began, needing Don to understand why. "I thought it was because no one had let them know what had happened. So, I called. It took me almost a week of constant calling and leaving messages before my sister finally picked up the phone. Told me mamma had died. That I'd killed her. My sister is the only family I have left and she hates me. I can't really blame her. So... anyway... that day was hard. Stressful. My pain was flaring up, so I took a double dose of my pain meds... chased them down with three beers. Liz came by shortly after and found me and dragged me to the hospital. She didn't want to keep it hidden, but I'd finally been cleared to come back and be on the team and... I was afraid if anyone else found out, I'd be fired and have nothing...." Colby's voice trailed off and he stared at his feet, unable to look Don in the eye.

"I can understand why you felt the need to keep it a secret," Don said. "But you didn't need to. I'm not changing my mind about inviting you in, Col. We'll go back to my Dad's for the evening meal, then settle in at mine afterwards."

"I... All my stuff is at Liz's..." Colby said quietly. "Are you sure? You want me at your place? I have to go home eventually. I'm paying rent for a place I haven't lived in for months...." He tried to sound light-hearted and joking. It was impossible to hide the hope in his tone, though... that Don was genuine in wanting him around.

"Then maybe it's time to end the lease on your apartment," Don said. "Move in with me on a permanent basis, or at least until Liz comes back. If you'd prefer to stay with her." He squeezed Colby's arm gently. "I'd like you to stay with me."

"My lease actually ends at the end of this month..." Colby said hesitantly. "I... I guess it would make sense ending it. I might be able to put the money somewhere else if I'm sharing rent with someone instead of paying it all on my own," he said, thinking about the bills his sister had mailed him. If the advisors he'd hired couldn't help him, any extra bit of cash would be welcome.

"Means you won't need to be alone, too," Don said. "And I would really like your company, Col. I care about you. You're still my friend." He gave a slight smile. "Even if I am technically still your boss." Turning more serious, he added, "I'm sorry it's been so difficult on you. I'll do my best to make it easier."

"It isn't anything I don't deserve, after what I did to everyone. You've done a lot, just accepting me back..." Colby shrugged.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to watch yourself and how you react to things," Don said. "You can be yourself, Colby. Except for those dangerous stunts you pull. Those, you can change."

"I don't even know who I am any longer..." Colby swallowed. "I tried so hard to be myself and be honest as much as I could while under cover. To not lie when the truth could be told. Now.... I don't feel like me."

"Give it time," Don said, his voice gentle and calm. "You don't need to rush to decide who you are. For now, you'll stay with me. We can work it out together."

Colby finally looked up at Don, his eyes sad and haunted, but with a hint of hope in them. "You think I can? I don't want to be like this. Messed up and useless..." He swallowed. "You think I can figure it out?"

"With time," Don answered. "You don't need to rush anything, Col. Just let things develop as they will. But you won't need to do it on your own."

Colby slowly nodded and gave Don a hesitant smile. "Okay..." he whispered. He'd confessed a lot to Don in a short time and instead of being angrily pushed away, the older man had pulled him closer and made sure he knew he wasn't alone. For the first time since returning, Colby felt like he might get back to the way things used to be... better even, since there were no more secrets.

"Are you ready to go into work?" Don asked. "Or would you feel better to take the day off? We can take care of moving your stuff over to my place."

"Honestly? I think if I could take the day, I'd appreciate it. I've been so worried about making sure I gave Liz any small bit of help to protect her, the tension kept me from sleeping well and my whole body feels like I got hit by a truck..." he reluctantly admitted. "I'd be a danger to anyone I went in field with...."

Don nodded. "We'll head to Liz's to pick up your stuff. Then I'll call in about us both taking the day. Give you a chance to settle in and get some true rest. Thank you for being honest with me about it," he added.

"I'm trying to be as honest as possible. I need you to trust me again..." Colby whispered self-consciously.

"I trust you," Don answered. "That's why I've been asking. Not just barking orders at you."

"I... I don't want to give you any reason not to...." Colby responded. He couldn't bring himself to admit he had a hard time believing he was trusted after everything. That was his own hang-up.

"You haven't," Don answered. "And I believe you won't. If you're ready, we'll go to Liz's and pick up your things. Or, if you want, we can talk a bit more."

"I don't know what else to say... unless you had some questions?" Colby glanced at Don.

"No questions right now," Don replied. "So, I'll start heading there now."

Colby settled back into the seat, relaxing. He hadn't realized how tense with uncertainty Liz's assignment had left him. Having Don in his corner eased anxiousness he hadn't been aware of. "Thank you..." he said softly.

"You're my friend, Col," Don said quietly. "I'm sorry I haven't been a very good one to you lately." He put his seatbelt on and turned the car around, heading towards Liz's apartment.

"I didn't give you a lot of reason to... you let me come back even though it was difficult... that means something..." Colby winced at how shaky his voice was... but at least it was sincere.

"You've given me reason to now," Don replied. "And reason for me to want you to stick around. More than enough reason for that." He parked outside Liz's apartment. "How much do you need to carry?"

"I just have a bag. I never really bought a lot of stuff while I was undercover because I never knew if I'd be around long enough to take it... the furniture in my apartment I can sell..." Colby thought out loud.

"Well, let's get you settled at mine. Then we can worry about selling the furniture if need be." Don got out of the car, expecting Colby would join him.

Colby got out of the car and followed Don to the door, opening it and stepping back for Don to go in first. "I'll only take a few minutes..." he said, before disappearing into the guestroom.

"Let me know if you need a hand with anything," Don called after him.

It didn't take Colby long to stuff his belongings into the bag he had. He packed his medication last, knowing he'd be needing to take it soon. He then walked out to meet with Don. "Is there anything I need to do once we get to your place? I avoided taking any pain medicine because it makes me dopey, but if we aren't going anywhere else till dinner, I might go ahead and take one...."

Don frowned at that. "There's nothing we need to do. I don't want you avoiding taking pain medication, Col. Even if you're dopey, that's a preferred state to you being in pain."

"I take it when I don't need to worry about it affecting my work..." Colby tried to reassure Don. "I... I couldn't stand being home alone and doing my job helped take my mind off of things... at least my sister... so...."

"I understand," Don replied. "But you also need to take the prescribed medication. If you need to take the day off work, we can make arrangements so that you're not on your own. Whether it's me staying with you, or maybe my Dad or Charlie visiting."

Colby swallowed. "I was afraid if I took too much time, I'd be let go..." he said.

"I wouldn't have let that happen." Walking to the car, Don continued, "Even if you can't do fieldwork, if it became necessary, I could ask you to do some paperwork. Research."

"Desk duty?" Colby smiled, not as upset or offended as he thought he might be.

"Not permanently." Don got into the car. "Just when you feel like you need to be out of the field. Whether it's just for one day or for the whole week."

"Yeah. That's smart..." Colby nodded. "I'll try to make sure I let you know whenever it's necessary."

"I appreciate that." Don put his seatbelt on and waited for Colby to do the same before he began driving to his own apartment. "I won't think any less of you," he promised.

"Yeah... I believe that, now..." Colby smiled and leaned back into the seat.

"Good." Don continued driving to his apartment. It wasn't far, so it didn't take long before he was parked outside.

Colby slowly got out of the car and retrieved his bag before waiting to follow Don inside.

Don unlocked the door and led the way inside. Then, closing the door behind them, he turned to Colby. "You can take the medication now."

"Yessir. Thanks..." Colby set his bag down in the foyer and pulled the bottle of pills from his pocket. Taking out the prescribed amount, he dry-swallowed them down before looking at Don. "Where you want me?" he asked, with a crooked grin. He'd grab a bottle of water as soon as he'd put his stuff away.

Don showed Colby to the guest room. "You can help yourself to anything and everything you need or want, Col. You never have to ask."

"Thanks... I appreciate it..." Colby said gratefully. "Really... this... it means more than you know..." His voice trailed off and he blushed, clearing his throat.

Don smiled at Colby and reached out to gently squeeze his shoulder. "It's good to have you here." He didn't just mean at the apartment, even though that felt good too.

***

To say the first case David and Colby had gone on had had trouble was a bit of an understatement. As soon as the two of them had returned, David had given Don a full report...and Don took a few moments to calm down and consider his next course of action before he walked into the main office towards Colby. "We need to talk. My office."

Colby had been nervous when Don had informed him and David, they would be partners for the day. He was pretty sure David had wanted to argue against it. There wasn't really a choice, though. Megan had taken a personal day and Don had meetings with his supervisors all day and the lead for the case they were working on was time sensitive, so David had swallowed his objections and Colby had swallowed his nerves and they'd gone out together. Colby had done his absolute best to make sure they got their evidence and, in the end, they'd got their suspect. It had quite honestly shocked him that David had been so upset at how he had done it. He hadn't expected the other man to tell Don in exacting detail every step he'd taken, in such an exasperated, put out tone.

Don's clipped and almost curt order had him stiffening. "Yessir..." he muttered, quickly heading to where Don had directed. He felt defensive, which likely wouldn't help him at all. He also ached in a way he hadn't ached in several weeks. Throwing himself onto that truck hadn't done his body any favors.

Don didn't speak until the two of them were in his office with the door closed behind them. Then, he turned to face Colby and frowned deeply. "What were you thinking, jumping onto the truck like that, Colby? Don't even try to tell me you're not in pain. I can see it in the way you're moving right now."

"I was thinking our only lead was escaping and once they were gone, they'd warn the others and we'd be back at square one!" Colby said defensively and with a little heat. He didn't mean to raise his voice. But David had yelled at him quite a bit on the way back to the office, the first time the man had done more than give him cool, one-word responses in ages; and he was positive Don was about to do the same... because he deserved it. He knew he'd taken a stupid chance.

"That doesn't matter." Don didn't raise his voice, but his tone was very intense. "Being back at square one will never be acceptable, or a priority, over your own safety."

The lack of yelling only underscored the intensity of Don's words. It actually felt worse and Colby found himself wishing Don would yell. At least yelling, he could get offended or feel like he was being treated unfairly and had a reason to be upset. Don's reaction? Only left him feeling guilty and wrongfooted. "I knew what I was doing..." he muttered, unable to look Don in the eye as he was saying it.

Don shook his head in disbelief. "No, Colby, you didn't. I'm not kidding about being able to tell you're in pain. Worse pain than this morning." He stopped short of telling the other man he'd be sent home, knowing what Colby had told him about wanting and needing to be at work. "This can't happen again. And I want you to see a doctor."

Colby winced at the order, refraining from arguing further. "Yessir. No more jumping onto trucks," he huffed. He made no comment about the doctor. If he said something, Don might order him to go. All he really needed was a hot shower and his pain meds.

"I mean it." Don frowned at the other man. "I don't expect you to pull any more dangerous stunts, Colby."

Colby observed Don closely before frowning slightly and sighing. "I know you're serious. I'll be careful..." he said.

"Good," Don replied. "If it's time to take some more medication, then you need to. And see a doctor after work. Or you can leave now, if you need to." He allowed the worry he felt to come through in his voice.

"I'm okay right now. I can wait till after work to take my medicine." Colby again avoided mentioning the doctor. While Don was right and it might be better for him to get checked out, he felt this urge to not listen to his boss and friend about it. He didn't understand the urge. But it was there.

"No. You will take the medication now." Don's voice was low, but he wasn't going to budge on this. "You don't need to chase down any leads for the rest of the day, so there's no need to avoid taking the medication."

"If I take it now, I'll end up falling asleep at my desk or having to go lay down in the break room. That won't look good, no matter how valid the reason..." Colby said, with a hint of worry. He glanced toward the door. "What would your supervisors think? I don't want my weakness to come back on you...."

"It's not weakness, Colby," Don stated. "You're in pain. And you've just been out in the field. If you need to go lay down in the break room, you go and lay down in the break room. I don't want you suffering and in pain."

"Is it an order?" Colby asked, in a subdued voice. He hoped it wasn't. If it wasn't, he could get away with disagreeing and not doing it. He wouldn't disrespect Don or his position by disobeying a direct order.

"If I have to make it an order for you to take care of yourself, then yeah. It's an order," Don stated.

Colby slumped. "Yessir..." He sighed, obviously not happy about having to take the medicine, but not willing to disobey. He hesitated, not sure if he should ask if seeing the doctor was included in the order. If he said something, Don was certain to make it one. But if he didn't clarify and Don was including it and he didn't go... he'd be disobeying his boss. After everything, he had to obey orders.

"Thank you," Don said. "I'll let everyone who needs to know that you'll be taking a break. If anyone needs you, they'll have to come to me."

"Okay. Now, sir?" he asked quietly, still uncertain if he should ask about the doctor and reluctant to bring it up. If Don didn't mention it again, he'd just leave it and claim ignorance if it turned out it had been an order.

"Yes. Now," Don agreed. "Have you eaten today yet? I can bring a sandwich to you in a bit if not."

"You were with me the last time I ate..." Colby responded, with a wry look. Don would know how long ago that was.

"Go take the medication. Settle down in the break room," Don directed. "I'll be there in a bit with food."

Colby took a deep breath and nodded. "Yessir..." he acquiesced. "Am I excused?"

"Yeah," Don replied. "I'll be there as soon as I've picked something up from the deli."

Colby paused. "Thank you..." he said. Despite not liking being forced to take care of himself, he was grateful Don cared. Slumping slightly to show his defeat, he left the office, heading toward the break room.

Don didn't waste any time in leaving his own office and heading to the deli, picking up food for both himself and Colby before he returned to the main offices and to the break room, bringing the food for both of them.

Colby had done as directed, swallowing down his medication with a soda. It was already beginning to work by the time Don returned. He was sprawled in one of the chairs, a semi-loopy grin on his face when his boss walked in.

Happy to see that Colby had clearly taken the medication, Don walked over to take the seat next to Colby, placing the bag with the other man's food on his lap. "I picked up your favorite."

"Heeey! Cheese-steak with extra cheese! Gimmmeee!" He wriggled his fingers toward Don in a grabby fashion.

Chuckling softly, Don handed over the food. "Eat up," he directed, removing his own food from his bag.

Colby didn't have to be told twice. The moan he expelled was almost obscene as he expressed his pleasure in the food. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until he was eating.

"If you're still hungry, I can get you some more food," Don offered, noticing Colby's reaction.

Colby blushed at realizing he was eating like a pig. "That... I should be good..." He slowed down so he could savor the food. "Sorry. Mamma taught me better, I swear...."

"Don't be sorry," Don replied. "Clearly, I need to feed you more."

Colby snorted out a laugh at that. "It's not your responsibility to feed me..." He grinned.

"Well, you're my friend and colleague," Don replied. "If you're not feeding yourself properly, then I should be feeding you."

Colby blinked at that. "So... you're saying if I don't take care of myself, it's your job to take care of me?" He sounded incredulous.

"The alternative is leaving you in pain. Leaving you neglected," Don replied. "And that's not acceptable, Col. I'm not going to ignore it if you're neglecting yourself."

"...Okay..." Colby said, in a small voice. He wasn't sure how to feel about Don's declaration, but he knew it meant he had to at least try to take care of himself. Just like with Liz.

"How are you feeling now?" Don asked.

"The medicine worked. Feel gooood..." Colby gave Don another loopy grin. Now that he'd decided he couldn't argue with his boss, he wasn't belligerent at all. And was possibly highly suggestable.

"I'm glad to hear that," Don commented. "Would you like me to drive you home? Take the rest of the day? There's not much left to do right now other than paperwork." Plus, he could keep a proper eye on Colby and, if necessary, call the doctor himself.

"Ummm...maybe? You think I should?" He slumped back in the chair and yawned wide.

"Yeah. I think so." Don stood, reaching out a hand to help Colby up.

Colby blinked, then reached out and took Don's hand. There was on odd look on his face; a mixture of surprised disbelief that he was receiving help to stand and pained loneliness fighting with an almost puppy like eagerness to get affectionate approval for doing as expected. Medication really did affect his ability to mask his feelings; he'd often gone without when undercover for that reason.

Don squeezed his hand and didn't let go as he led the other man out of the break room and to the parking lot, heading towards his car. "I'm taking you home, Col. You don't have to go into your room to rest, but I do expect you to take it easy."

"Yessir..." Colby said in a distracted manner, staring at where Don held his hand as if he didn't believe his own eyes.

Don didn't actually let go of Colby's hand even after they reached his car, gently leading the other man round to the passenger side and opening the door for him.

"...Thanks..." Colby said, still distractedly looking at where Don held his hand. He felt funny about it, but not in a bad way. It was the same feeling he got when Liz was taking charge and taking care of him, to be honest. Maybe it was the whole taking charge and taking care of him element that caused the feeling? That must be it.

Colby wrinkled his nose, confused befuddlement clear on his face. He'd never been one to enjoy being looked after or bossed around. Normally, it made him feel like he was being treated like a child and he would get offended. That both Liz and Don had been able to get away with it and Colby hadn't felt the need to put them in their place? He couldn't help wondering at his own reactions.

Don helped Colby to sit in the passenger seat, letting go of the other man's hand and gently squeezing Colby's knee. "You feeling okay, Col?" he asked softly, noticing the confused look on the younger man's face.

"... Huh?" Colby blinked and looked up at Don, before blushing and shaking his head. "...Oh..  uh... yeah. Just thinking..." he muttered, in a very sheepish tone, obviously hiding something. He sometimes wondered that they hadn't thought it a risk to send him undercover when they knew any type of heavy narcotic would make him incapable of hiding his feelings. The only thing in his favor was it didn't also make him talkative, but it was still a risk.

"Okay." Don squeezed Colby's leg again, letting his hand linger for a few seconds, before he moved round to get in the driver's side. "But if there's something on your mind, you can let me know. No matter what."

"Yeah... I know." Colby gave Don a bashful smile. And he did know. It didn't mean he would say anything, because he wasn't sure what he would say, but he knew.

"Good." Don began driving back to the apartment, after making sure both of them were buckled in.

Colby was quiet the whole way back, but it wasn't a suspicious quiet, despite the confused thoughts and feelings roiling through his brain. By the time they reached the apartment, he'd convinced himself that the response he'd had to Don mother-henning him was entirely due to the fact he'd been so emotionally raw lately, worry for Liz and taking pain medicine. That had to be the reason. As soon as he heard Liz's voice saying she was alright, he'd probably settle. It would be funny, his response to both of them. In the future, it would be funny.

Don parked outside the apartment and opened his door, moving round, without thinking, to open the passenger door and reach out to grasp Colby's hand once more to help him out of the vehicle.

Colby had half fallen asleep, or he might have already got out of the car before Don came around. Instead, he found himself taken by the hand like a little boy again. Or like a lover. He wasn't sure which idea unnerved him more, because neither one of them upset him. He thought he should be upset. That fluttery feeling in his stomach was pretty clear, though. He wasn't upset.

Don headed inside with Colby, leading him by the hand because it continued to feel right. He felt better when he was in contact with the other man, so he didn't question it. At least not while Colby didn't seem to mind.

Once in the apartment, Colby withdrew his hand carefully, nervously folding his arms in front of his chest. "Have you heard anything about Liz?" he asked hesitantly. He was unable to hide his worry. Even knowing she was safe didn't ease the worry. Asking about her didn't ease the fluttering in his stomach, either. Since it was the same feeling he often felt around her, he couldn't help but compare the two feelings.

Don nodded. "She sent me a message earlier. Used one of the codewords we'd decided on so that I'd know it was her. I think she plans to call you later."

"I hope that means she's safe... I'm sure she'll want to talk to you too...." Colby smiled crookedly. He knew Don and Liz had dated. He wasn't sure how their relationship currently stood. He wasn't about to stick his nose in the middle of it, though. The tiny sliver if jealousy he felt thinking about them together left him feeling small and petty. The fact he wasn't sure which of them he was most jealous of made it worse. He really needed to stop thinking about it. They were both his friends. His work colleagues. Don was his boss, for Fuck's sake. (And he wasn't into men. Least he never had been before) Nothing could ever come of his feelings for either of them.

"If it's safe, then we'll talk as well," Don answered. "But the cover was you as her boyfriend, so she has an excuse to call and talk to you."

"Yeah... Was kinda surprised that's how you both set it up. Figured you'd be her boyfriend and make me a brother or something..." Colby said uneasily.

"I know you were worried about her and still are," Don said. "I didn't want to separate you from her when the two of you were clearly getting along so well. But I didn't have a choice. So, I did what I could to keep your friend available."

"That means a lot... I know you care about her too. You shouldn't have had to put me first... 'specially when I'm so messed up...." Colby sighed softly before unwinding his arms from around himself and rubbing at his eyes with a yawn.

"Come on, Col. You need to rest." Don reached out to take Colby's hand once more, it being almost second nature to do so. "On the couch in the main room? Or your room?"

"If I fall asleep on the couch, I'll be hating life when I finally wake up..." Colby snorted softly.

"Bedroom, then." Don led Colby into his room, adding, "I put you first because it's right, Colby. You deserve to have someone looking out for your best interests. Especially since I know you won't."

"I can take care of myself!" Colby said, in a semi-offended tone. "Have been since I was 15, practically!" He didn't pull away from Don, though, letting himself be led to the bedroom.

"That why you jumped onto a moving truck?" Don led Colby over to the bed and pulled the covers back.

Colby frowned. "You know I jumped onto the truck to stop the bad guy from escaping! I don't like wearing my clothes under covers..." He suddenly switched topics.

"You think you can undress yourself?" Don asked. He hadn't actually let go of Colby yet.

"Dunno..." Colby yawned again. "Gonna try, though...." Colby put actions to words and began to awkwardly tug his shirt off before hissing in pain.

"Here, let me." Don began to carefully remove Colby's shirt.

Colby sighed, a tiny pout on his face. He didn't argue or fight Don helping, though. "Feel like a kid... being undressed..." he mumbled. Especially since Don had been holding his hand so much.

"You're hurting," Don said. "It makes no sense for you to put strain on yourself when you have someone here to help you." He removed Colby's shirt and then proceeded to do the same with his shoes and pants.

"I know..." Colby said, in a small voice. "Still..." Once he was undressed to his underwear, he carefully crawled into bed, letting Don pull the sheet and comforter up to cover him.

"Get some sleep, Colby," Don directed, letting his fingers brush through the other man's hair. "I'll wake you when it's time to eat. And then you'll be able to talk to Liz."

"...Kay, Don...." Colby was already snuggling down into his pillow, eyes blinking. "Thanks..." he said in a whisper before giving up the battle and falling asleep.

Don waited until he was certain Colby was fully asleep and then he headed into the main room so he could take care of some paperwork, while also keeping an ear open so he could make sure he was there if the other man needed him.

****

A few hours later Colby woke up rested but very uncomfortable. He'd had an erotic dream. A very detailed erotic dream. While this wasn't necessarily unusual- he was a healthy, red-blooded male, after all- it was the first time, he'd dreamed of people who weren't cute models or celebrities. And it was the first time he'd dreamed of a threesome including another male. That was confusing in and of itself, but it was Liz and Don.

Groaning softly, he tried to think of the most disgusting thing possible to get his hard-on to subside. The last thing he needed was for Don to notice he was aroused. Especially since the older man had said he'd wake him up for dinner. He knew if Don saw, he wouldn't say anything... which meant his boss never had to learn Colby had dreamed highly inappropriate things about him.  But Colby wasn't sure he'd be able to keep his embarrassment about it hidden if Don saw. At least if Don had no clue Colby'd had a wet dream involving him, Colby could pretend nothing had happened.

Don had ordered takeout for the two of them and it was due to arrive in about thirty minutes. He walked to Colby's room and knocked lightly on the door. "Col? It's time to get up." He didn't immediately enter the room; wouldn't unless he didn't hear a response from the other man.

"Thanks, Don... do I have time for a shower?" Colby called back quietly.

"You've got thirty minutes till the food gets here," Don answered.

"Should only need ten! Thanks!" Colby carefully rolled out of the bed and shed his underwear next to the rest of his clothing, before grabbing his bathrobe and wrapping it around himself. He then grabbed his toiletries and quickly head to the shower, clutching everything in such a way that it hid his groin should Don glance in his direction.

Don returned to the kitchen, calling back over his shoulder, "You want some juice to drink? Or just water?" He didn't offer a beer as an option, not wanting to risk the mixing of medication and alcohol if Colby needed to take another pill.

"Water is fine..." Colby didn't even mention alcohol of any sort. He'd promised Liz not to ever do that again, or at least try. Even if Don would allow it (which he knew the older man would stop him somehow if he even tried to drink with the medicine), he intended to keep his word. Even if the woman he'd given it to wasn't there to see it.

He made it into the bath and shut the door and was soon standing under a freezing cold spray of water, willing his erection down. Luckily, it only took a few seconds of exposure to freezing cold for it to deflate. That allowed him at least nine minutes of a steamy stream of water to go over his still aching muscles.

Don poured them both out glasses of water, adding ice to keep the drinks closed, and placed them on the table. He checked the time, noticing that Liz would probably be calling shortly before the food was due to arrive.

Colby quickly finished up his shower. After drying off, he put his robe back on, leaving his toiletries in the bath. If he was living here, no sense in dragging them back and forth every time. He walked back to the room he'd been given and grabbed clean clothing, slowly dressing. It was starting to hurt again, so he didn't move fast, but he was able to dress without help. He was walking barefoot back to the living room fifteen minutes after Don had knocked on the door.

Don noticed that Colby was walking slowly and his movements were tense and he narrowed his eyes with concern. "I'll get you another dose of medication. Saves you having to run backwards and forwards. Especially since this is the time Liz normally calls you."

"Thanks, Don... 'preciate it..." Colby smiled, not even attempting to argue. It wouldn't do him any good and it'd be stupid to boot. He needed his meds.

Don nodded and headed to Colby's room to grab the meds. As he did so, Colby's phone began to ring.

Luckily, Colby had the foresight to grab his phone and bring it with him. He quickly answered it, even as he made his way to the couch. "Hey...." he said, unable to keep the hitch of pain out of his voice.

"Colby?" Liz's voice was immediately concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Sorry... just a bit sore. Chased a bad guy onto the top of a truck today and now I'm feeling it. Don took me to the ER, though and I have pain meds, muscle relaxers, so I'll be taking one of those soon as Don brings it to me..." Colby tried to reassure her. He didn't think about the fact she didn't know he'd moved in with Don yet.

"You're with Don?" Liz's voice became even more concerned. "Is everything okay?" She was picking her words carefully, due to the possibility of being overheard, but it was obvious she was worried.

"Yeah! It's fine, Liz! I... I let a few things slip while trying to calm Don down after I'd taken my first dose of medicine... and he decided he should keep me close to him at least until you return...and after that, if us being housemates works out and you want your space back..." Colby tried to ease her worry.

"As long as you're okay," Liz said. "If you're staying with Don, does that mean you're both getting on better?" she asked hopefully. After all, Colby had been miserable with how the others had been treating him. She hadn't wanted to leave him alone with that.

"Yeah..." Colby's voice took on an almost shy, young tone. "We talked and... things are better. You don't have to worry about me, Liz. I'll be okay... and Don is helping me when I'm not. Focus on keeping yourself safe..." he said, worry creeping into his voice.

Liz sighed, the sound one more of relief than anything else. "I'm glad. I didn't want to leave you alone," she admitted.

"I know... and I appreciate it...." Colby couldn't say anything else. He knew if he protested being an adult and that he should be able to handle being alone, she'd point out that it wasn't necessary and everyone needed someone, adult or not. "Are things going well there?" he asked instead. "Think you might be able to come home soon?"

"I hope so," Liz answered. "I miss you."

"Miss you more..." Colby said, teasing. By this point, Don had brought out his medicine and a glass of water. "Hey... you wanna talk to Don for a bit? I know he's worried about you too, even if he is better at controlling it..." He grinned at Don.

"Yes please," Liz replied.

Don handed the glass and medication to Colby, raising his eyebrows but not voicing a direction to take them. If Colby didn't follow his unspoken order, he would say it.

Colby nodded to show he understood, using his free hand to first take the medication and swallow it down dry. Then he took the glass of water. He spoke to Liz while doing that. "Okay. Take care of yourself. I'm handing you to Don now..." He waited long enough for her to acknowledge his words before handing the phone to Don. As soon as the older man had a secure grip on the phone, he drained the glass of water.

Don took the phone from Colby, but didn't move away. "Hey, Liz. Everything okay?" He paused, listened for a few moments, then said, "He's fine with me. We're spending time together. You don't need to worry."

Colby blushed that Don had to convince Liz Colby had told her the truth. He fidgeted next to Don, looking embarrassed and guilty, like his parents were discussing his bad behavior.

"Take care of yourself," Don directed. "Check in again tomorrow if you can. Stay safe." He listened, then said, "Goodbye." After a moment, he handed the phone back to Colby.

Colby made sure the call had disconnected before putting the phone onto the coffee table in front of him. "So...."

"She worries about you," Don said. "It's not a bad thing. When she comes back, you can think about where you'd prefer to stay."

"Yeah... I know it's not really any of my business... but... well for a while it looked like you two might move in together...." Colby found himself talking. He hoped he hadn't had anything to do with them breaking up.

"Honestly, Col, I'm not sure where we stand right now," Don admitted. "I haven't really felt able to see anyone personally. If you're worried about holding back because of me, don't be."

Colby's eyes widened at that. "That... I mean, Liz is great, but..." He blushed. Now that he thought about it, it was really egotistical to think he had anything to do with their relationship faltering. It was probably better for Don to think he was asking because he was interested.

"You can think about it," Don commented. "You're not hiding anything anymore. If you want to pursue a relationship, you're free to do so. No barriers." At that point, the buzzer sound and he headed to go and get the food.

Colby watched Don walk to the door, a flummoxed look on his face at being encouraged to pursue Liz by the man who had recently been in a relationship with her. As much as it made him happy Don wasn't unhappy at the thought of Colby being interested in Liz, it didn't make things easier. He couldn't help wondering if Don would have the same attitude of Colby pursuing a relationship, if he knew Colby had developed a huge crush on him. "It's not as easy as that..." he finally said, as Don returned with the food.

Don sat next to Colby, dividing the food between them. "Maybe it's not easy, but there's no reason you shouldn't try. You've gone through a lot. You deserve to be happy."

"Thanks, but that... that's not what's holding me back..." Colby shrugged helplessly. "As messed up as I am, I know I deserve to find happiness or love or whatever.... I just don't want to try and start anything with Liz till I've figured something out about me." He paused, before continuing nervously, "I recently found myself attracted to someone else and it caught me wrong footed because it was a man and I never felt an attraction to a guy before. I don't know if it's just because of everything in my life being so out of control, my body decided to play games with me, or what it is. But until I figure it out, I don't think it would be fair to Liz to pursue anything...." He wasn't about to tell Don that he was the man... but he figured it might be a good idea to find out Don's thoughts on the possibility Colby might be bi.

Don paused before speaking. "There's nothing wrong with being attracted to a man instead of a woman. Maybe you haven't been attracted to a man before, but there's an argument to be made for being attracted to the person rather than their gender. So, the man you're attracted to, you might have been even if he was a woman. Either way, my point still stands. If you're sure, you shouldn't hold back."

"It doesn't bother you?" Colby asked curiously. What Don said about him being attracted to the person and not the gender made sense. Especially as Don was the one and only man, he'd ever felt attraction to. It was good to know Don wasn't upset at the thought. Didn't mean he was telling Don that he was attracted to him, but still.

"No, Col," Don replied seriously. "As long as you're happy, it wouldn't bother me." He couldn't help but wince, knowing how unhappy the younger man had been since coming out of the hospital. He still felt guilty about how he'd treated Colby; hoped that eventually, the other man might be able to forgive him.

"Thanks... I... it caught me by surprise. Never been attracted to a man before, ever... and so far, they're the only one. Maybe you're right about it being the person. Have... has this ever happened to you?" Colby asked, before quickly intersecting, "I'm sorry. That's none of my business...." He quickly began to fumble with getting the food out of the bags.

Don smiled slightly, before turning his own attention to his food. He took a few moments to answer, not sure he wanted to admit so much himself. "There was someone. Before everything went to hell. Now, I don't know. I'm not sure."

Colby blinked at that, looking up at Don sympathetically. "Is that why you and Liz backed off? I'm sorry. Feel like it's my fault either way.... if you hadn't had to spend so much time on my bullshit, you could have focused more on your life."

Don shook his head. "Wasn't your fault, Col. I'm sorry I was so distant when you came back. I never wanted to make you feel like you weren't wanted. I'm glad you chose to stay." He didn't say that was why Colby's reckless behavior had scared him so much. Didn't admit that it was because he'd been attracted to Colby before everything and, if he was honest, still was. But he was Colby's boss and the last thing he wanted was to push the other man into anything. Especially when Colby had already admitted he was attracted to someone else.

"I couldn't have gone anywhere else..." Colby admitted softly. "The only thing that kept me going when it all went down was the hope, I could come home to my family..." Colby gave Don a look that indicated he wasn't just talking about blood family.

"Which you have done," Don stated. "You're home...and you'd better believe you'll be staying home." He might not be about to tell Colby he was attracted to him, but he was going to make it clear he expected the other man to stick around.

Colby smiled at that. "Yessir..." he said, with a happy, fond obedience.

"Good," Don said firmly. "Now eat up. Maybe we can watch a movie together."

Colby smiled again and did as directed. The companionable silence didn't bother him at all. Don wasn't ignoring him anymore, so silence wasn't scary.

****

Several more weeks had gone by and Colby had healed completely. In fact, he was in as good of health as he had been prior to being tortured. Liz had called as often as she was able, even if it wasn't every day. She spoke with Don as often as with Colby. Colby wasn't entirely certain they weren't comparing notes... but it didn't bother him. It made him happy to see their relationship building again, even if it meant he couldn't have one with Liz... or Don.

The only part of his life that wasn't going well was with his sister. She still refused to speak with him... continued to send bills. Charlie's recommendation had promised they could help, so he'd hired them and forwarded every bill to them. When his sister had found out he'd hired help, she contacted him long enough to comment that, 'You aren't even willing to pay bills for a death you caused...' It had hurt a lot, but he swallowed the pain of her disdain down and, when Don and Liz both asked, said everything was fine. They worried enough about him.

This morning, he was with Charlie and Amita, following a lead on a case. Don was back at the office, working on another angle. He knew he was with Charlie, although he didn't know where they were. "Let's make this quick. I need to get to the office..." he said, looking down into the leeway.

"Colby? Charlie?" Amita interrupted. "See that down there? It could be a clue..." She began to climb down the ladder to go look at it.

***

Don had been out of the office in meetings all day. When he finally came back, he'd gone via the diner, collecting food for himself and the team. He was already thinking about bonding exercises; although David and Colby's relationship was getting better, he figured time to work on team building couldn't be a bad thing.

Of course, when he got back to the offices, there was no sign of Colby. Frowning, but not really worried (the other man could have gone out to grab something), Don sent a quick text to Colby's phone.

***

In hind-sight, they shouldn't have gone down into the leeway without calling the supervisor in charge of the dam spillway and making certain it was safe. But... they had. When the alarm had gone off and water began to rush to their position, he'd got Charlie and Amita to safety before he'd been swept away by the water. Luckily, Charlie had been able to save him as well; after he'd inhaled enough water to make him want to avoid surfing for the next year. He'd told Charlie and Amita he'd inform Don what they'd found and taken the evidence from them so they could go to work. He'd also told them he'd get checked out by the FBI's medic.

He'd fully intended to do both, but Don had been in meetings and... he was tired of undressing for doctors, just so they could tell him to take it easy and rest. He could do that without an exam. Now... he was thinking he should have been checked out. He was having difficulty breathing, couldn't stop coughing and felt like he was underwater again. He'd gone to the restroom furthest from his team's offices and was now bent double over the sinks, coughing up a lung.

Don had left the food on his desk and headed to one of the restrooms, needing to relieve himself. But as soon as he opened the door and saw Colby bent double over, coughing hard, his own discomfort fled immediately. Wasting no time, he headed to the other man's side, placing a hand on his back. "Can you breathe?" He needed to know if Colby was choking.

"When I'm not coughing," Colby wheezed, when he was able to stop coughing long enough to speak. His face was red and he was sweaty. His whole body was exuding heat as well, as if he had a fever.

"What happened?" Don looked at Colby and shook his head. "No. You'll be telling me that when you tell the medic too." His eyes were narrow with worry and he wasted no time in guiding Colby from the restroom, immediately heading to medical.

Colby was too busy coughing to argue. Not to mention, he was actually a little scared himself, not that he'd admit it. He was having difficulty talking, though, so didn't know how he was supposed to tell anyone what was wrong.

Don pretty much ran to medical, keeping his arms around Colby in a tight grip that would have betrayed just how worried and scared he was for the younger man. Right now, he couldn't think about holding back because he was Colby's boss. All he could think was, what if I lose him?

Moving so fast was not easy. By the time they reached medical, Colby knew he wouldn't be able to speak to answer questions. Instead, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and set it to dial Charlie before handing the phone to Don and sinking weakly onto the chair the medic provided.

Don grabbed the phone, but his other hand quickly grabbed onto Colby's shoulder, the tight grip betraying perhaps more of his emotions than he ever would have let come through. As soon as his brother answered the phone, he was demanding, voice strained and tense with fear, "Charlie, what happened?"

Colby winced at the firmness of the grip, as well as the tone of voice, but was too focused on breathing to do or say anything about it. He could hear indistinct murmuring through the phone. He assumed Charlie was explaining.

The medic was asking him questions now and he could only stare helplessly as he continued to cough.

Don quickly began to rattle off the information to the medic; anything that could give the information needed to help Colby. He didn't release the other man, moving only enough to allow the examination to continue. The note of fear in his voice only grew worse; obvious to anyone who knew him well.

Shaking his head, the medic finally ended the examination. "Currently, it seems he has a bronchial infection from the inhaled water. I've written a prescription for antibiotics. He should go home and rest; take it easy for the next 72 hours. If the coughing does not improve or gets worse, take him to the hospital immediately. There is still the risk of drowning, even if he is no longer in the water."

Colby's eyes widened at that and he couldn't help a frightened look toward Don.

Don breathed deeply and took the prescription. He was still worried, still scared, but now that he had a plan of action, he could calm down. But his grip was still tight on Colby's shoulder as he guided the other man to his feet. "We'll go via the pharmacy, but I'm taking you home."

"Yes, sir," Colby managed to wheeze out, the coughing having subsided slightly from something the medic had made him breathe in. "The e... evidence is on your desk..." he added helpfully... hopefully... now that he was able to get the words out. It would at least give David and Megan a shot at catching the guy.

"I'll let David and Megan know when I get you settled at home," Don replied, taking Colby's hand to guide him to his feet.

Colby didn't think anything of Don taking his hand. He'd got used to the more personal leading. On top of that, he was just really tired and didn't have the strength to argue. He was beginning to realize 'waiting' to go to get checked up after his near drowning was a big mistake.

Don took the other man out of the room and swiftly headed out of the building and to the parking lot, not loosening his hold on Colby even a little.

Colby would have apologized, but it was all he could do to keep up with his boss and not start coughing again. He felt awful, both physically and emotionally, guilt beginning to weigh on him again.

Don eyed Colby with obvious concern. "We'll get you home and I'll stick close to you," he promised. "You need anything, I'll grab it straight away."

"You shouldn't have to... you've got work and I'm pulling you away from it..." Colby wheezed out.

"You're not pulling me away from it, Colby," Don replied. "I'm choosing to help you."

Colby looked up at that, hearing the distinction. "Thank you..." he whispered. Don was choosing him. He'd been so uncertain for so long, that this small bit of reinforcement of Don's regard for him caused him to tear up. He could blame it on his splitting headache, of course, but he knew it was because Don cared.

Don just gently squeezed Colby's hand. Reaching the car, he helped the other man into the passenger side and then got in the driver's seat.

Colby tried to focus, stay awake, so he could answer questions if Don had them. He didn't fall asleep, but he wasn't really aware either. He knew they stopped at the pharmacist... after that, things got hazy and confused.

Don drove home after stopping to collect the medication. He parked outside the apartment building, then got out of the car and walked round to open the passenger side door. He reached in and gently grasped Colby's hand to lead the other man out.

Colby leaned heavily on Don. His body radiated heat, indicating a fever and he was quiet. Quieter than he ever was when he was healthy.

"I've got you," Don whispered, leading the other man into the apartment. He settled Colby into bed, then went to grab a cup of water so the other man could take the medication.

"You always do..." Colby said in a pained voice. "Sorry I make it difficult...."

"I care about you, Colby," Don answered. "Caring about you isn't difficult."

"Even when I worry you?" Colby gave Don a teary smile. His face was flushed and his eyes glassy.

"You worry me because I care about you." Don handed the water and medication to Colby.

Colby swallowed the antibiotics and fever reducer without complaint or argument. "I didn't mean to get hurt..." he said, in a voice that was fading fast.

"You need to rest, Col." Don stroked his fingers through the other man's hair.

"Yessir..." Colby mumbled, his head automatically pressing against Don's hand where the other man was stroking. He wasn't thinking about it. He was too out of it to stop himself and he'd always been the type to cuddle if given a chance. He'd been careful to rein that part of himself in when he got older and realized it could be taken the wrong way, but he trusted Don and it was natural to respond.

Responding to Colby pressing his head into his hand, Don moved a bit nearer to the other man, so that they were pressed together. The feelings he'd originally buried when Colby's actions had come to light now exploded full force. He was pretty sure Charlie had realized how Don felt about Colby; Don had been less concerned with keeping it secret and more with making sure the man he really cared for was safe.

Colby shifted on the bed when Don moved closer, giving the older man room to make himself comfortable. He didn't pull away. To his chagrin, he found himself crying silently; big, fat tears. More than he thought he could realistically blame on the fever. Feeling Don's care and affection was lancing the wounds that still hadn't fully healed, when he felt worthless and unloved. He didn't know if he'd ever get over feeling that way, but whenever his 'found family' behaved in a manner that proved the opposite of those feelings, he couldn't help but respond.

"Col? Are you hurting?" Don's voice was filled with concern as he stroked his fingers through the other man's hair. He didn't pull away, instead stretching out alongside Colby. He wrapped his other arm around Colby, drawing the younger man into a hug.

"No..." Colby sniffled, trying to get the crying under control. "Dunno wuz wrong wif me..." he added in, even as he pressed tight to Don and snuggled.

"As long as you're not hurting, it doesn't matter how you react." Don wrapped his arm tighter around Colby. He was tempted to brush a kiss over the other man's head, but held back. Colby wasn't attracted to him, even if he did need the comfort.

"Actin' like a baby!" Colby declared woefully. If Don didn't regret bringing him back to the team before, he was sure he must now.

Don continued stroking his fingers through Colby's hair. "I'm guessing you haven't had anyone to offer you comfort in a long time. It doesn't make you a baby, Col."

"Tried not to get close to anyone outside of work... knew it'd be destroyed soon as my name showed up on the list. Could only pray the team would forgive me when the truth came out...." Colby admitted. Even though he'd been as honest as possible with the team, the two years he'd been undercover, he'd avoided seeking them for comfort or true affection. Over two years and he'd denied himself certain things that he needed because he knew it would only make the fallout from his mission more difficult.

"I know it's not been easy, but you are forgiven," Don said softly. "And you're cared about. A great deal."

Colby let out a tiny little sob at those words, burrowing against Don. "Thank you..." he whispered.

Don hugged Colby tighter. "I don't want to see you hurting," he whispered. "I'm going to take care of you, Colby. I promise."

Colby believed him. "You already are..." he asserted gratefully. "...Taking good care of me..." His voice trailed off as the medication finally overcame him and he fell asleep.

Don kept in physical contact with Colby, even after the younger man was truly asleep. When Liz rang to check in, Don answered the phone and reassured her about Colby's safety...and then the two of them talked.

Colby slept through the conversation; the medication, infection, and fever warring with each other to the point he was exhausted. It, unfortunately, did not stop his dreams. This time, he didn't have the luxury of waking up aroused; it was a true wet dream that would leave him uncomfortable and clammy once he woke.

Don finished the conversation and then noticed Colby's reaction. Frowning worriedly over the other man, he moved enough so that he could begin cleaning Colby up.

Colby only stirred a little at Don's actions. He obviously thought he was still dreaming; he gave Don a goofy, slightly cheeky grin and mumbled, "Feels good," before his eyes closed again. Had he been truly awake, he would have been mortified that he'd cum in his clothes and Don was cleaning him up.

Don raised his eyebrows, but as Colby was clearly out of it, he didn't think anything of the comment and finished cleaning up the younger man.

Colby somehow sensed when Don had finished cleaning him and was plastering himself to the older man as soon as Don was settled beside him again. His boss's presence was keeping nightmares away.

Don stretched out alongside Colby once more and wrapped his arms around the other man, drawing him in close and tight.

Colby slept for the six hours it took before he was to take his next dose of medication. Shortly before Don would have woken him, he shifted with a slight groan. It took a few moments before it dawned on him. "You changed me..." It was said with a hint of confusion. He obviously didn't remember what had occurred.

"Figured you'd be more comfortable." Don retrieved the medication and a cup of water.

"I... it is... thanks..." Colby obediently took the medicine, a sign that he still wasn't feeling all that good, because he would have made a token protest about needing the pain/fever reducer at least if he were.

"Thank you," Don said. "I know you're not feeling so great, but do you want to try eating something light? Like soup or toast?"

"I can try, if you think I should..." Colby answered. He really didn't feel hungry, but he also knew he needed to eat to help himself heal.

"Which do you think might be easier for you to get down?" Don asked gently.

"Toast... maybe?" Colby finally answered. At least toast wouldn't upset his stomach, even if he couldn't eat much. And he was less likely to inhale it if he started coughing.

"Okay. I won't be long, Colby," Don promised. "Or, if you'd prefer to stick close, I can help you settle on the couch while I prepare the food."

Colby blushed faintly. "If you don't mind, I'd like to stick close..." he said. He knew in the past, he'd have stated that he was fine alone, but that was necessity. He hadn't wanted to rely too much on the team when he knew he had a very good chance of them hating him. Now, he wasn't afraid of that... plus, being near Don just felt good.

"If I minded, I wouldn't have given you the choice." Don helped Colby to stand, taking the younger man by the hand, and led him through to the main room so he could settle him on the couch.

Colby gave Don a shy smile. "Thanks for all the help. Considering it's my own fault I'm sick, you're going above and beyond...."

"I told you. I care about you," Don said seriously. "Taking care of you isn't a chore, Col." He moved to begin preparing the toast.

"Not even a little? You don't feel the urge to say I told you so? Or lecture me?" Colby asked hesitantly... curiously.

"You definitely should have let me know what you were doing and gone to get checked out right away," Don said seriously. "But I'm just so relieved you're not suffering worse. I was scared there for a while." He could be honest about that, even if his position made him reluctant to tell Colby how he felt. That and the fact that Colby had admitted to him that he was attracted to another man, even if he hadn't named the person.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I really thought I was okay. Didn't think about the water being unsafe... that it wasn't like normal lake or ocean water..." Colby admitted with a cringe and then a look that clearly emoted that he felt stupid.

Don brought the toast over and sat down next to Colby, handing him the plate. "I'll keep an eye on you. There's paperwork I can take care of here, so I don't have to leave you alone."

Colby took the plate. "Thank you," he said, then began to eat. "Thanks for staying with me, too. I know how much you have to do... even if you are working from home. It means a lot...."

Gently squeezing his shoulder, Don said, "It's not anywhere near as important as making sure you're okay."

Colby's smile gentled at that. "That... that's why I feel safe with you.... Know that even if I don't always like your decisions... you'll always do what you can to make sure we're okay." He included the rest of the team in his comment, even though he knew Don was talking about him specifically. Because he knew it was true for the rest of the team. Don protected what was his.

"Always," Don promised. "And you take as long as you need to recover, Col. Don't rush yourself. Don't force yourself."

"I'll try. I hate being useless, though..." Colby sighed.

"I know," Don answered. "But you aren't useless. There are still ways you can help me out. If you feel up to it, you could even help me out with some paperwork."

"Sure... I can help at least a little while before the meds make me dopey again..." Colby chuckled.

"I would appreciate that." Don smiled and moved in a bit closer to the other man. "What you did find out was helpful enough to bring a suspect into custody. I'm not condoning your dangerous behavior, but it did help."

"I’m glad it wasn't for nothing, then..." Colby paused. "...Am I going to receive a formal reprimand for dangerous behavior?" he asked hesitantly. Don might not have had a choice but to put it in his file.

"No." Don sighed. "A formal reprimand might end up with you getting suspended. And I know work's been important to you."

Colby winced. "Thank you. I know... I... I know you aren't happy with what I did... or at least how it was done. And I know there were no good reasons for doing it that way. I appreciate you protecting me from... from the consequences. I hope it doesn't put you in a bad position...."

"You don't need to worry about me, Colby," Don said, before snorting softly. "If you were Charlie, we'd be having a very different conversation."

Colby gave Don a serious look. "I did my best to make sure Charlie and Amita were safe so you didn't have to have a conversation. I'm happy they didn't get caught in the water and need to be checked out. Means I succeeded in keeping them safe...."

"I would have rather you kept safe as well," Don said wryly. "I don't ever want you to risking your life, Colby. You have no idea how...." He cut himself off, realizing he was about to let slip more than he'd intended. "You're important to everyone."

"I... I know. Now, at least..." Colby said quietly. "But... I've been trained to take care of myself in bad situations, more than Charlie and Amita, so I figured, get them safe and then worry about myself cuz I was more able to fight my way out of any danger.... Maybe that was wrong, but it felt right at the time."

"Well, next time you go off into a case that could turn dangerous, no matter how small the chance is, I want you to reach out to me," Don said seriously. "No matter what I'm doing. No matter how 'busy' you think I am. You come to me first. Am I clear?"

"Yes... you're my boss. Should be running leads by you and getting your approval before heading off after them anyway. Sorry I didn't do that this time. There's a chain of command for a reason... I know better than to ignore it." Colby glanced down, ashamed.

"Your friend, too," Don said. "You're right that there's a chain of command for a reason. It's so the choices are on me. Not you. And in case there's something you might have missed. An extra pair of eyes is always a good idea. Charlie's a genius. So's Amita. But there are things they might not be able to see that you and I can."

Colby nodded, looking up. "It was disrespectful to you and your position. And the fact you are a friend... makes it worse that I didn't think of that. I just... I don't know why I didn't think of it. It's so obvious now...."

"Next time, you'll keep me in the loop," Don replied seriously. "Next time, you'll call me before you go investigating on your own. Even just to touch base. So, someone else knows where you are."

"Yes, sir. I will." Colby's voice was firm. He might not have outright promised, but he might as well have.

"Thank you." Don nodded to the toast. "Try and eat as much as you can, but don't force yourself to finish."

"Okay..." Colby nodded again, before beginning to eat as directed.

***

To say Don was terrified was something of an understatement. He hadn't been able to see what was going on in the jail cell; only knew that Colby, the man he had really strong feelings for, had been taken hostage by Ian. Ian, who it transpired had been playing the role of a dirty cop. Much like Colby had been. But this time, it had been Colby's own neck on the line. Again. Don had had to face the possibility of losing him. Again.

Colby was being questioned. Ian had just come out of questioning and Don, unable to see the man he truly wanted to check on, swiftly crossed over to Ian. "You held a gun to my agent's head." He was so rattled, so worried, so scared...he didn't even notice the possessive tone. "What the hell, Ian? Were you really planning on shooting him?"

Ian gave Don an incredulous and offended look. "No! If it had come down to it, I would have let him go! He realized that! Can't believe you'd even ask that... especially now that you know the truth!" He frowned and shook his head. "Not that I had any control over it at the end. Whole damn thing went sideways because I didn't know one of the key players was a player. How Colby figured it out is beyond me, but he's the one who put himself in front of me so that I wouldn't get shot before I could produce my evidence... and nearly got himself shot instead!" he growled. "I barely had time to pull him out of the way when I realized his rescuers were planning to execute us both!"

The question had been driven from a sense of fear rather than true belief that Ian would have harmed Colby. Still, logic didn't exactly play a part in the emotions. Don took a deep breath and gave a sharp shake of his head at what Ian told him. "Damnit." Colby still acted like he had a death wish. Didn't give a damn about himself, if the fact he stepped in front of a bullet was any indication. He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. "Sorry. I've been on edge since everything occurred."

Ian could tell Don was stressed about his agent... could tell it went a bit beyond stressed, really. Because of that, he chose to ignore the offensive accusation and focus on what had led to it. "It's fine..." he finally responded, in a chagrined manner. "Can't say I haven't been. Got worse when the kid decided to be my own personal Kevlar without my permission..." he grumbled. "I know you all like to protect the innocent, but I didn't think that included doing things almost guaranteed to kill you when there were numerous other options available...." He eyed Don sideways. He was pretty sure Colby's actions wouldn't be well received, but he had been wrong, several times since embarking on his mission to uncover the crooked prison official. He could be wrong about this and Don might approve of Colby's recklessness.

"It doesn't," Don replied. His shoulders slumped and he sighed wearily, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "Protecting you was the right thing to do. Protecting you and risking himself...that shouldn't have happened." The note of worry sharpened the more Ian spoke. Don couldn't fathom losing Colby. Just the thought of it hurt far more than anything else. Except for if he thought about losing Charlie or his dad. The pain was at the same level, even if it felt different.

"Well, we are in agreement there. Seems a bit mean for me to hope you tear the kid a new one for doing it, though... you know... since it was my life he saved. He do that often? Risk himself when saving others?" Ian suspected, by the way Don was acting, that this wasn't the first time Colby had seemingly had a death wish.

"More often than he should." Don sighed. "Like he's still expendable. Like he thinks of himself that way. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell him otherwise. And I can't reprimand him officially. All that'll do is make it worse."

"I get not reprimanding him officially. He's a hero... so I doubt they'd fire him outright. But for someone like him, being promoted into a desk job likely wouldn't be any better. And he wouldn't be in your purview then, either." Ian frowned. "Is all you've done talk? Have you tried using that stern raised voice on him? If you were my boss and I'd actually deserved your accusation, it would have cowed me..." he teased gently, even as he watched Don closely.

"I've lectured him," Don replied. "Tried to point out to him the chain of command. That he needs to be in the loop. I've taken care of him as a friend, not just a boss." He sighed. "There's a line there I'm in danger of crossing, if I haven't actually gone over it yet."

Ian narrowed his eyes delighted at that admission, glancing around to make certain there was no chance of being overheard by the wrong person before commenting. "You never had a problem crossing over that 'line' before..." he said, almost curiously and not even pretending not to know what Don was talking about (although he supposed it was possible, they were talking about different things). "Why is Colby different?"

"Because I...." Don took a deep breath and then muttered, "Damn." In a low voice, he admitted, "Because I care about him. A lot. I shouldn't. I'm his boss. His superior. And if I said anything to him, I could be forcing him into something he doesn't feel able to say no to. Because of that power imbalance."

Ian slanted his head. "You were Terry's boss. And you're Liz's boss, too... or is that why you two have pulled back?" He pointed out the obvious, not seeing why Colby would be different than the two women. Then he blinked and shook his head. "You know what? Not my business. In any case, you've got an agent that doesn't seem able to learn what's expected using conventional methods. If you truly care about him- and I don't doubt you do- you'll find an unconventional way to break through that thick skull of his. Before he gets it shot."

"Yeah, well, there's only one unconventional method I can use. And I'm more worried about driving him away with that." Don shook his head and sighed. "But I'm all out of other ideas. At least, if he hates me, he'll still be alive to do so."

"Has Charlie ever hated you? Know for a fact you used that unconventional method on him at least once..." Ian smiled crookedly. "Colby had the chance to get a promotion and go to DC... but he chose you and your team, despite knowing he'd have to work to regain your trust. I somehow doubt he'll hate you for resorting to the only thing left that doesn't involve moving him to another team or relegating him to a desk. Especially if you make it clear you're doing it cuz you care."

Don nodded slowly. "You have a point. Though I'm still not sure he won't be mad at me, at least." He eyed Ian with some concern. "How are you doing in all this? You were in interrogation a while. Plus getting shot at. You need a place to crash?"

"I'm doing okay. Was actually planning to meet up with an old friend of my own for dinner. If things go well, I'll be with them tonight." Ian waggled his eyebrows.

Don nodded. "Well, if you need me, you know how to reach me. I'm sorry that I accused you of being prepared to shoot Colby. I do know better." He grimaced. "He just terrified me with this latest stunt."

"Hey... no harm, no foul. He scared me too, to be honest. There aren't too many people who understand me enough to be considered family. You and your team are among those few..." Ian admitted.

"Yeah. You're mine too," Don said. "Anything you need, just let me know."

"Will do..." Ian paused as the door to interrogation opened and Colby walked out, looking very tired. "I'll leave it to you, then. Let me know how it goes..." He smiled, before turning and walking away. Passing Colby on his way by, he patted the younger man on the shoulder. "See ya around, Junior. Behave!" And then he was gone.

Colby watched him go, an irritated look on his face. "You aren't that much older than me!" His protest was ignored. Colby turned toward Don and ran a hand through his hair. "We done here? I could really use a beer. And some wings. Definitely a beer, though...."

"We need to talk, Col," Don said seriously. He took Colby's hand, it being second nature to do so, and began to guide him out the door and towards his car in the parking lot.

Colby sighed and looked up at the ceiling, blushing faintly when he saw the smirks of the agents around them that were obviously assuming things. He didn't pull away, though. He cared about Don too much to risk hurting his feelings over what other people might think. Especially when, deep down, he wished what they thought was true. He followed quietly, waiting until they were in the car to ask tiredly, "What do we need to talk about, Don? If you need a copy of my statement, I'm sure they can get you one...."

"I don't need a copy of your statement, Col," Don said. "I need to know, in your own words...what the hell you were thinking. I appreciate you knew you were in no danger from Ian. But you put yourself in front of him like a human shield. Why?"

"Because I thought if I was in front of him, they'd think before shooting first, asking questions later.  He was still a prisoner and I was still a hostage who was also a federal agent ... shooting me would have drawn all kinds of investigations down on their heads, even if they somehow got rid of Ian before he could give his evidence." Colby gave Don a confused look. "I thought it through, Don! It wasn't spur of the moment. I knew I had to do it, before they even opened the door..." he added, thinking that the problem was Don thought he'd done the action impulsively instead of thinking.

"You didn't have to do that," Don said. "You can't tell me that putting yourself in front of someone else was the only option you had available to you."

Colby blinked. "...Maybe not the only option..." he finally, reluctantly admitted. "But it was the only one I could think of that didn't involve Ian ending up in the hospital, at best!"

"So instead, you thought it was acceptable for you to end up in the hospital, at best." Don shook his head. "No. That isn't acceptable to me. Not at all."

Colby's mouth dropped open to protest, but then Don's words caught up to him and his mouth clicked shut. He wouldn't play dumb; he was far from stupid; and he wouldn't belittle Don's feelings for him by claiming he was unimportant. He knew better. Still. "Saying I didn't think about that really makes me sound like an idiot..." He sighed.

"I don't think you're an idiot." Don shook his head. "But you clearly don't think about how someone else feels about you. I can't officially reprimand you with how you've been feeling. Talking hasn't worked. So, I'm going to punish you in exactly the way I'd take Charlie in hand if he did the same thing."

Colby gave Don a bemused look. "...What way is that? I've only seen you talking very loudly at him, but you said talking wasn't working."

"I'm going to spank you," Don replied firmly, as he drove them to the apartment.

Colby began to laugh. "Good one... you even sound like you mean it! But seriously... what are you going to do?" He couldn't believe Don actually would spank him. Not just because it was a punishment once reserved for children (and not even used that much any longer), but because believing it meant Don had spanked Charlie and he didn't want to even think of that in passing. It would make facing the youngest Eppes very awkward.

"I do mean it," Don replied, his voice serious. Almost stern. "I care about you. I care about you staying safe. And you don't care about your own safety. So even if you hate me for doing this, I'd rather have you alive and hating me than dead."

Colby stared at Don, suddenly nervous. "Don... I... I'm not a kid...." He finally settled on what seemed the easiest argument against it. Saying it was too personal or would make him too vulnerable might actually convince Don it was a good idea.

"You need someone to take you in hand," Don said. "You need to know someone cares enough about you to step in and make the effort to correct your behavior. You don't believe me when I tell you, so I have to do something else."

"I... I know you care. I don't do things because I think you don't care..." Colby felt torn. He didn't disbelieve Don's feelings for him. He wasn't doing things for the reasons Don said... was he?

"If you thought I cared, then you would listen to me," Don said calmly. "Unless, of course, you don't care about what I say. What I feel." He shook his head sharply. "Damnit, Colby. I thought you were going to die. And it's not the first time. Do you have any idea what it's like to watch someone you love put themselves in danger so much and not be able to do anything about it?"

Colby stared at Don, at a loss for words. There was a lot of information packed into those few words. He didn't know what to answer or address first; Don's assertion that he didn't believe Don cared, Don's comment that he didn't respect Don (not caring what he had to say amounted to the same thing, after all), or the fact Don had just told him he loved him. His heart clenched tight and his stomach lurched. His body went hot, then cold. He realized there wasn't anything he could say about the first two things; his actions would be at odds with anything he'd say. He was afraid to say he loved Don back, even though he did, because he had a hard time believing he hadn't just misunderstood and if he said it back and Don hadn't meant it the way he took it, it would make things even more difficult. He slipped down into the car seat and hunched in on himself.

Don parked the car outside the apartment and took a deep breath, turning to Colby. "I'm sorry. I didn't plan to say anything. You don't have to feel pressured into anything. But I meant what I said about spanking you. Because I can't stand by and watch you harm yourself again. I can't face the prospect of losing you like I did today."

Colby swallowed hard. He heard Don's words, but of course, in his head, he heard that Don hadn't meant to say what he had because he didn't mean it in that way. He felt a stabbing of disappointment. Of course, Don didn't mean it in that way. Don was attracted to women. And maybe loved Liz. "Yessir..." he whispered, voice rough and catching. He hoped Don assumed it was because he was nervous about being spanked, or upset at Don raising his voice, however slightly he'd done it; not because Colby was disappointed that Don didn't love him in a romantic way.

Don took another deep breath and then got out of the car. He moved round to the passenger side and opened the door, reaching for Colby's hand so he could lead the younger man into the apartment. Leading him was second nature now.

Colby found himself, for the first time reluctantly, following Don into the apartment. His grip tightened slightly the closer they came until, by the time they were inside and the door securely shut behind them, his grip was tight and just short of painful. He was slightly pale and trembling and he couldn't face Don. He shouldn't be this nervous... Don wouldn't harm him and his life wasn't in danger. He should be able to face what was coming with the same bravery he showed when doing dangerous things. So why couldn't he?

Without speaking, Don led Colby over to the couch and took a seat. He drew the younger man round to one side and then positioned Colby carefully across his lap, adjusting the other man's position before divesting him of his pants and underwear.

Colby closed his eyes tightly, flushing in shame. "I'm sorry I didn't leave you any other options," he whispered, in a shaky voice.

"I just wish you didn't keep treating yourself like you're expendable." Don wrapped his arm tighter around Colby's waist, pulling the other man against his stomach, and delivered the first firm smack to Colby's backside.

Colby let out a tiny whimper at the smack, grateful that his traitorous emotions hadn't ended in a roaring erection from what was occurring. He was pretty sure the only reason he wasn't sporting one was the fact this was a punishment and Don was genuinely upset with him and worried about him. Otherwise, he felt all sorts of confused and his body liked what Don was doing. Leave it to him to figure out he had a kink for being dominated while his boss was punishing him.

"I don't want to lose you, Colby." Don delivered a firm smack with every word he spoke. "I can't lose you. You are far too important. To me."

"I... I'm sorry!" Colby gasped out, surprised at how quickly the smacks had built up in sting and how much it actually hurt. What hurt worse was hearing the fear and disappointment in Don's voice though. Sorry really wasn't enough.

Don covered every inch of Colby's backside in the firm smacks, working his way from the crest down to mid-thigh and everywhere in between before starting over from the top. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if you'd been shot, Colby," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I wouldn't have healed if I'd lost you."

By the time Don finished the first circuit, Colby was already squirming. Don starting a second circuit while telling him that? It was impossible not to respond. His emotions plummeted and he began to cry vocally, not trying to hide it from Don. The older man deserved to hear that he was getting through to him. He didn't know what he should or could say to make it better. What he could do was accept the punishment and not hide his reactions.

Don heard the tears and they hurt. He didn't enjoy giving out this form of punishment, even though it worked on Charlie and he hoped it would work on Colby too. He let his other hand rub gently over Colby's back, even as he continued into a third circuit. "I don't care what the situation is, you never put your life in danger."

As the third circuit began, Colby went limp, slumping submissively in acceptance of the punishment and Don's right to administer it. He acknowledged the admonishment with a teary, but quiet, "No, sir... was wrong...." He deserved to be punished. How many times had Don spoken to him about his reckless actions? How many times had he agreed Don was right and said he would be careful, only to end up right back in the same situation? He deserved every smack and knew he did. It was a relief, in a way. He was no longer getting away with the behavior Don had been so upset about. It was a relief that Don cared enough to act and not ignore his poor choices, so he lay limp and submissive, quivering as the smacks continued in the same slow pattern, not fighting at all, no longer even squirming.

Don wrapped his arm a bit tighter around Colby's waist, drawing the other man in closer and tighter against himself. "I want to keep you alive and safe, Colby. With me, preferably. But even if not, those feelings still stand." He delivered some more smacks to Colby's sit spots and thighs and then gathered the younger man into his arms, hugging him tightly.

It took a few seconds for Colby to realize the spanking was over and Don was holding him. The whole experience had been highly emotional, more than Colby had expected. He had a very high pain threshold. The smacks themselves wouldn't have been enough to bring him to this point. It was Don's words mixed in with the vulnerable childish feelings that the position drew out that caused Colby to break. Once he realized Don was through smacking, all he could do was shift in the older man's arms and cling to him, quietly crying, quivering in Don's arms, thinking about what had just happened and what Don had said.

Don hugged Colby tightly, wanting to tell the other man he loved him...but he'd said those words already and Colby hadn't reciprocated. So, he just hugged and stroked the other man's hair and back and whispered, "I'm so glad you're safe."

"I... really am sorry..." Colby whispered. His voice was subdued and hesitant. If it hadn't been for Don's words of love and holding him so close and tight, Colby would have been afraid he'd pushed the other man away. As it stood, he battled his own feelings of love and desire because he was positive Don only loved him like a brother and if he said anything, his own truth would come out and ruin everything... plus, he refused to get in the way of Liz and Don reuniting. No matter how much he was drawn to both of them. So, instead of saying anything, he just clung to Don and put as much of his own love into the physical action as he could.

"I know and I forgive you," Don responded, without hesitation. "I didn't spank you because I wanted to hurt you, Col. I'd do anything to keep you safe," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion.

"I know..." Colby sniffled, unable to keep from nuzzling Don's shoulder before hiding his face against the older man's neck. "I deserved it... you told me so many times and I..." He swallowed back another round of tears. He was a failure and disobedient. "Lucky you still want me on your team..." he said, in a small voice, once he'd regained control over himself.

Don's embrace tightened. "I want you," he whispered. "No matter what happens, I always will. I'd never want you to leave the team. I'd never want you to leave me."

"Don't wanna leave you either. Ever." Colby's voice was fervent. He might not be able to admit the depth of his feelings for Don, but he could admit that.

"That's a better result than you hating me," Don commented, the sense of relief he felt coming clearly through his voice.

"I could never hate you, Don!" Colby had to respond to that. There was a surprised and almost confused look on his face that Don would be afraid of that. He couldn't let Don think so little of himself. "I love you." The words hung between them before Colby's nerve left him and he found himself adding, "I love all the team. You all are my family and I don't want to be apart from any of you...."

Don winced at that. He couldn't be surprised...but it still hurt, knowing that Colby didn't love him in the same way. But being close to the other man, like this, even as family...it was enough. Had to be enough. He let his hand move a little bit lower, rubbing at the small of Colby's back; because part of him wanted to rub the sting away, to rub Colby's backside, but he couldn't do that. It would be taking advantage and forcing the other man to feel his emotions. "I'm glad to hear that," he said softly.

Colby hugged Don a bit tighter, already regretting being a coward. If he'd been brave and admitted he loved Don differently than the team, what might have happened? He probably would have been let down gently, but would it have been so bad to take a chance? Don's hand was so close to rubbing his bared bottom that even the thought of the possibility made his stomach warm. If he hadn't been so certain Don didn't feel the same and was afraid of being found out, he might have become aroused at the idea.

Don's own arms tightened around Colby and he let the hand that was rubbing move just a fraction lower, his fingers passing the crest of Colby's backside. Just enough that he could call it an accident and pull back if Colby indicated he didn't like it.

Colby let out a soft whine at the movement. He felt like he should pull away. He was playing with fire, allowing Don's hand to get so close to what he wanted. It wouldn't take much for him to rouse and he didn't have that right. Don couldn't want him in that way and it wasn't fair to Liz. He'd just as soon become a monk than to hurt Liz. Still, he stayed where he was and cuddled. He couldn't bring himself to pull away, even though he should. He was so confused over his body wanting and needing Don.

Colby hadn't pulled away and Don let his hand begin to rub gently over the other man's backside. His other arm was wrapped firmly and securely around Colby, holding him close and tight.

Colby closed his eyes tight and continued to cuddle, not pulling away, even though he was already feeling the slight stirrings of arousal. He wasn't as touch starved as he had been before moving in with Liz and then with Don. At least, he had thought he wasn't. He craved the touch and even though he knew he was bound to be humiliated when his body reacted naturally, he couldn't pull away. He just held tight and let out small whimpers whenever Don's touch felt particularly good

Don just let his hand rub gently over Colby's backside, his other hand stroking and rubbing the other man's back. It felt good, holding Colby in his arms; better than it really should, considering he was still the other man's boss. As that thought flittered through his mind, he stopped rubbing Colby's bottom, moving his hand back up. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I don't want to do anything you don't like."

Colby let out a soft whine of disappointment when Don stopped, unable to help himself, then took a shaky breath. "I... " He swallowed and hugged Don tight, before slowly pulling away, shifting to get ready to stand. If Don looked down, he'd know how much Colby did want. Colby flushed, but deliberately didn't move to cover himself, knowing that would just draw Don's gaze there. "I should get cleaned up. Do you want me to order delivery?"

Don nodded. "Yeah. You order whatever you'd like, Col. I should probably take a shower." A cold shower, so that he could get rid of the arousal being so close to the other man had caused him.

"Okay..." Colby was standing by this point and had turned do his bottom was facing Don. He'd rather the older man see his red ass than see Colby was turned on by him touching it. He carefully pulled his clothing back into place, avoiding making any noise at the material rubbing sensitive flesh. "I'll order Italian, if that's okay... spaghetti? Or lasagna?"

"Either's fine," Don answered, standing up himself. He cleared his throat and adjusted himself slightly before saying, "I'll be about ten minutes." He swiftly headed towards the bathroom.

Colby didn't answer. Instead, he ordered the food, then got plates and glasses out for their drinks.

Just as Don was coming out of the shower, the apartment door buzzed. Rubbing a towel through his wet hair, he went to answer. "Yeah?"

"It's Liz," she replied. With a trace of humor in her voice, she added, "I got let off for good behavior. Can I come up?"

"Of course." Don buzzed her in.

Colby walked back out if the kitchen, carrying a bottle of juice and a case of beer. "Which do you want?" he asked, before giving Don a curious look. "Is the food here already?"

"No, Liz," Don answered, just as she came into the apartment.

Wasting no time at all, Liz stepped over to Colby and hugged him, then did the same to Don. "I got let off early." She smiled at them both.

Colby's eyes widened and he returned the hug tightly. "You don't have to debrief?" His grin covered his entire face. He shoved down the hint of jealousy when she hugged Don. It didn't help he wasn't sure which one of them he was jealous of.

"I asked if I could do that tomorrow," Liz answered. "I wanted to see you first thing." She smiled at Colby.

Don cleared his throat. "I can call and ask for more food to be added. Can't imagine they've left yet."

"Yeah... let me do that!" Colby said quickly, calling the restaurant and asking them to add one more of everything. He followed Don and Liz to the living room, not realizing he winced as he sat. He was too busy adding in extra garlic bread, a bottle of wine and dessert. Liz was back; they needed to celebrate!

Liz noticed the way Colby winced when he sat down and quickly went to his side. "You're hurt?" She turned accusing eyes onto Don. "I thought you were taking care of him!"

"What?" Colby's eyes widened. "No... he did... he is!" He quickly tried to reassure her, not certain what exactly she saw that made her think he was hurt.

Liz frowned. "You winced when you sat down. Like you're hurt."

"You don't have to worry about him," Don said softly. He didn't go into details, though, not wanting Colby to be uncomfortable.

"I'm not hurt," Colby said firmly, but blushed darkly. If Liz pushed, he'd tell her. He didn't want her unfairly angry at Don. Still, he felt ashamed it had been necessary for Don to spank him.

"You'd better not be," Liz said firmly. "I care about you way too much to watch you hurt yourself again."

"That's what Don said..." Colby ducked his head in a shy, sheepish manner.

"Doesn't make it any less true," Don commented.

"Well, I'm glad of all this." Liz gestured towards them both. "The two important men in my life getting along. Finally. I'm glad," she added softly.

Colby's blush got darker, if possible. If Liz only knew... she probably wouldn't be quite so happy. What woman would be happy with her friend having wet dreams about her and her boyfriend?

"What did I miss?" Liz sat down next to Colby, looking between him and Don. "Apart from the two of you moving in together, I mean."

"Not a whole lot," Don admitted. "That's probably been the biggest change you're likely to see."

"Yeah. Work has been pretty typical..." Colby shrugged. They'd catch her up on important bits for that in the office.

Don walked over to the table and poured a glass of wine for each of them. He handed one each to Liz and Colby and kept one for himself. "It's nice that we've got something to celebrate today."

"It is!" Colby grinned, raising the glass.

***

The rest of the evening had gone by without any major disclosures, which Colby counted as a win, since he was certain, by the end of the meal, Liz had to know he'd been spanked. Especially when he'd finally told her about Ian and what he'd done and Don had chimed in with how upset he'd been, but he thought he might have finally got through to his headstrong and danger prone agent. He looked between Don and Liz, unaware that his love for both of them was showing in his eyes. "You know... I'm tired. I think I'm gonna hit the sheets. Don't feel like you have to leave, though." He turned toward Liz. "I'm sure you and Don have lots to catch up on."

Don, fairly certain the adrenaline rush from the day's events had worn off, still eyed Colby with concern. "If you need anything, you know where I am."

"Yeah... thanks, Don..." Colby smiled at the older man, impulsively giving both his friends a hug before heading to his room.

Liz watched him go, a thoughtful look on her face. Once he was out of earshot, she turned on Don. "You spanked him!?" she hissed.

"I wasn't left with many other options," Don defended himself. "This isn't the first time he's done something dangerous."

Liz's frown softened and she sighed. "Yeah. He always has been careless with himself if he thinks someone else is in danger. It's just... he's so proud. I can't imagine it went well. Kinda surprised he was in such a good mood and hadn't left, knowing how you punished him...."

"Honestly, I was worried about that," Don admitted. "But I was out of ideas. An official reprimand wouldn't do any good. And just talking to him didn't, either. But even if he'd been pissed at me, even if he'd hated me and left, I would take that over him being in hospital again. Or worse."

"Yeah. I'd rather that too. If it helps you feel better, it's obvious he doesn't hate you." Liz smiled crookedly.

Don sighed. "Yeah. He told me that."

"If it weren't for the fact, he's obviously trying to push us together, I'd think he wanted you..." Liz said hesitantly. When she'd left, she'd got the impression Colby wanted her. She wasn't sure what to think now.

Don frowned at that. "After everything that happened, especially with you gone, I was under the impression that he wanted you." He shifted in his seat slightly. "Hell, I'm confused all round. Because I want him. And I want you too...." His voice trailed off and he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Liz chuckled slightly, turning pink. "I have to admit, I want you too. Never really stopped. Even though we decided to stop seeing each other. I'm also very attracted to him and wanted him too. He obviously was able to pick up on our feelings for each other, but missed that we had feelings for him. That or he's scared at wanting both of us...."

"Maybe a combination of both," Don said. "He did tell me he was attracted to a man...not who it was, but he was clearly nervous about it."

"He's talked about past relationships with me. None of them were men. If you're his first..." Liz grinned wolfishly. "Now that's something I wouldn't mind watching... you're a good teacher."

"It might be he wants to go slow," Don commented. "Or that he doesn't want to act on the attraction at all. That could be another reason he's trying to push us together. We need to talk to him."

"Yeah..." Liz sighed. "That leaves us to figure out what we want." She looked at Don. "Never been in a polyamorous relationship before, but I'm not against it if it means I wouldn't have to choose between you and Colby..." she said honestly.

"I'm not interested in an open relationship," Don said seriously. "But I'm interested in being in a relationship with both you and Colby. Exclusively the three of us."

"So monogamous polyamory?" Liz grinned. "I can't disagree with that. While the idea of watching you and Colby together is hot, the idea of either of you being with anyone outside of us makes me see green."

"Can't argue with you there," Don admitted. "Even thinking of it now, even before talking to Colby...." His voice trailed off. He had no idea how he'd react if Colby didn't want to be with them.

"Yeah." Liz bit her lip, glancing toward Colby's door. "So... confront him now? Or get used to us again now and slowly work on him?" She looked at Don. "I wouldn't mind staying the night, if you're in the mood...."

Don hesitated. "I know that's what he expects, but I don't feel right us starting something without him. He needs to know how we feel. Especially since he spent so long hurting because everyone except you kept him at arm’s length."

Liz nodded. She hadn't really expected differently and she was glad to see her trust in Don's care for Colby wasn't misplaced. "I agree. So, let's go drag him out of bed. If we're lucky, we'll get some tonight!" She winked.

Don laughed softly at that and stood. "Let's see what he says first." He moved over to Colby's room and knocked gently on the door.

Colby had got into pajamas and crawled into bed, but he wasn't able to sleep, no matter what he had told Liz and Don. All he could think about was his two friends getting back together and leaving him the odd man out. And it upset him. Not because he was going to be left out once they became a pair again; that was natural and expected. No. It upset him because he wanted to be with Liz. He wanted to be with Don. And he couldn't be with either of them.

On top of that, lying in bed, he could feel where Don had spanked him and... now that the shame and guilt of what he'd put his boss through was gone, all he could think about was Don taking control and warming his bare butt with the palm of his hand, repeatedly and... damned if he wasn't horny and wishing Don was smacking his backside again. Just so he could feel the older man's control over him and feel skin on skin. He'd never had a spanking kink before. He'd never had a kink for being dominated before. Then again, he'd never wanted a man before either, so this whole situation was new and left him floundering out of his depth.

Needless to say, he was still wide awake and trying to decide if he needed to take himself in hand or not. That's when he heard the knock. "Yes? Come in..." he called out, with a hint of confused worry as he sat up in bed.

Don slipped into the room, leaving it open for Liz to enter behind him, and then walked over and sat down on the bed. "I don't want you to feel pressured into anything," he began. "But Liz and I have been talking."

Liz walked over and sat on the opposite side of the bed, smiling at Colby. "We think you want us. And we want you too," she said, firmly and clearly.

Colby gulped, his fingers twisting in the sheets as he looked from one to the other. "W... what?" he squeaked out, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Are we wrong?" Don asked softly.

Liz reached out and placed a hand over Colby's. "It's okay," she said quietly. "If you do feel that way. We've talked and realized we do too. So, you don't have to be afraid of putting voice to what we want."

"Y... you b... both w... want me?" Colby winced at how uncertain and afraid he sounded. This was exactly what he'd dreamed about and he was going to ruin it because of his insecurities.

"Yeah, Colby." Don moved a bit nearer, taking one of his hands while Liz held the other. "When I told you, it was hard to watch someone I love take so many chances with his life...I didn't mean I love you in a platonic way."

Colby swallowed hard. "But... you two love each other. You're good together..." He still sounded hesitant; not because he didn't believe Don, but because he didn't think they'd be interested in a threesome.

"We love you too, though," Liz said softly. "We're not talking an open relationship here. But we are talking a relationship with the three of us."

Colby looked into Liz's eyes, seeing she was serious. He then looked into Don's eyes, to see if he felt the same. "A relationship with the three of us, but no one else?" he asked, to confirm. "You really want me with both of you?"

"The three of us," Don confirmed. "We're both okay with you being with either one of us...but jealousy will rear its ugly head if anyone else gets involved."

"We both want you," Liz said. "And we both want each other. Do you feel the same?"

Colby glanced between the two of them shyly. "Don't wanna be with anyone else," he admitted. "Wanna belong to both of you..." he added, in case he wasn't clear enough. He didn't intend to be with anyone else, so jealousy wouldn't be an issue.

Liz smiled and then leaned forward to hug him, before kissing him. "That's exactly what we want too," she said firmly, before leaning back and looking expectantly at Don.

"Yeah. Liz is right," Don agreed. He cupped Colby's face in one hand; kissed the other man gently, in case Colby needed to get used to it.

Colby leaned into Liz's hug and kiss. When Don cupped his face and kissed, he slowly leaned in and whimpered. Don had really been the one he was sure he couldn't have. The one he was afraid to let his feelings be known. Liz might have turned him down, but Don was his boss. If he didn't want him, Colby could have been reassigned to another team in another state.

Don pulled back at the whimper, even though he kept his hand on Colby's face, eyes searching the other man's expression. "Too much?" The note of worry was obvious in his tone.

"Not enough..." Colby groaned, finding a source of bravery he didn't know he had and pressing forward, kissing Don a bit less gently, but in a way that offered Don control.

Don responded, gripping the back of Colby's head and kissing more firmly. He gave the other man's lips a gentle nip.

Liz moved a bit closer, watching the two men with a smile, the sight more arousing to her than she'd expected.

Colby groaned, letting his hands slide up to rest against Don's chest. He'd already been horny. Don taking control and kissing him in the manner he was went straight to his groin. His pajamas didn't hide his arousal.

Don kissed Colby deeper, his fingers gently gripping the other man's hair; not enough to hurt, but enough to hold the other man still and in place.

Noticing Colby's arousal, Liz shifted forward, letting her hand brush tentatively against Colby's groin.

Colby whined softly, opening his mouth for Don, pressing into Don's hand. His hips pushed forward against Liz's hand and he whined again.

Don let his tongue push into Colby's mouth, still gripping the soft strands of the other man's hair. He moved his other hand down Colby's back, gently pushing the other man towards him and causing Colby's body to raise up enough from the bed so he was no longer sitting down. He'd wanted to rub Colby's red, heated backside after spanking it and now, he pushed down the pajama pants so he could do exactly that.

Liz ran her fingers gently along the length of Colby's member as it was exposed, stroking lightly at first and then a bit more firmly.

Colby shivered as Don undressed him, letting his tongue rub and twist along Don's. He groaned as dual sensations of his tender bottom being rubbed, along with his arousal being squeezed, nearly overwhelmed him. He belonged to these two. He knew it in his heart. He wanted to give them everything.

Don tightened his grip around Colby, keeping the other man in place so that he could rub his bottom and Liz could work on the other man's erection.

Leaning over, Liz gently blew on Colby's member and then kissed the tip before taking it into her mouth.

Colby inhaled sharply, then sobbed softly against Don's mouth when he felt his member taken into moist warmth. He couldn't move. Don's grip was too strong. Being controlled in such a way sent him spiraling with need. Liz and Don could do anything to him and he'd take it... probably beg for more.

Don held Colby tight and close, continuing to kiss him; continuing to explore the other man's mouth with his tongue. His grip on Colby's head tightened, holding it steady so he could continue to kiss, while his other hand continued to rub and stroke Colby's bottom.

Liz began to gently suck on Colby's member, bracing her hands gently against his hips as she did so.

Colby had no control. Don and Liz controlled everything. Tears slid down his cheeks as he surrendered completely to both of them. It didn't take long for him to reach the edge and he slid one hand down Don's chest to gently tap Liz's shoulder in warning.

Liz gently squeezed his hips in silent encouragement for Colby to let go, wanting to feel him reach that point...and to reach it because of what they were doing to him.

Colby gave another, louder sob and then he was shuddering out his release. Don and Liz both held him up and in place. It was the only reason he didn't collapse. He felt his body shaking, felt his member pulsing out its release. Felt Don rubbing, squeezing, almost kneading his sore bottom. He wanted more. Wanted to give more.

Don pulled back, slowly, from the kiss, although he didn't let go of Colby.

Liz gently released Colby's member and then looked at Don. "Is the lube still in its usual place?" 

Don nodded. "Yeah."

"Great. I'll go and get it." Giving a smile, Liz quickly slipped out of the room.

Colby slowly caught his breath, eyes glazed but searching Don's face. He didn't know what he was searching for, but Don still had a grip in his hair, so he couldn't look anywhere else. "Love you..." he blurted out. Seeing Liz in the periphery of his vision, he stated more clearly, "Love both of you...."

"I love you." Don hugged Colby a bit tighter. "I love you, Colby." His voice was clear. Honest. Intense with emotion.

Liz returned with the bottle of lube, in time to hear Colby's words. She gave a dazzling smile. "And I love you too," she declared, taking her place back on the bed and passing Don the lube.

"Thank you..." Colby whispered, eyes darting to look at Liz, then back to Don. It was clear he was thanking them for wanting him. He didn't attempt to get away from Don's grip. Letting Don be in control of him felt safe.

Liz smiled and leaned in to kiss Colby, whispering softly against his lips, "We want you and we love you."

When Liz pulled back, Don kissed Colby as well, murmuring, "Thank you for not turning and running screaming in the other direction." He spoke with a small amount of humor, but was still aware that Colby could have refused. Could have decided he didn't want this with them.

"I could never run..." Colby admitted. "I belong here... with you... both of you. I've known for forever. That's why I was so desperate to be allowed to stay... " His voice was earnest and young sounding.

Don stroked his thumb across Colby's lips, murmuring softly, "I'm sorry this took us so long, then."

"But there's no waiting anymore," Liz murmured, moving to remove Colby's pajama top.

"You couldn't have known. I didn't even fully know... I just felt I couldn't leave the team. Couldn't leave you..." Colby whispered against Don's fingers, lightly kissing them. "Liz gave me the courage to stay when I thought it was hopeless." He gave Liz a grateful smile.

Liz smiled at Colby, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "I'm glad you stayed," she whispered.

"So am I," Don agreed. He gently pulled Colby closer, kissing him, before carefully positioning the younger man on his stomach on the bed, Liz kneeling in front of Colby.

Colby let himself be positioned, noting Liz's position left him in perfect position to pleasure her like she had him. Slowly, in case she didn't want him to, he scooted close enough to nuzzle against her thigh, slowly moving closer and closer to her womanhood.

Liz reached down, letting her fingers stroke through Colby's hair, encouraging him through touch.

Don coated a finger in the lube Liz had brought and began to rub slow, gentle circles around Colby's entrance, only allowing the digit to press in once the other man had fully relaxed.

Colby didn't need further invitation. He leaned forward and licked, letting his tongue slide inside her, beginning a gentle thrusting motion with his tongue while he gently rubbed her clit with his thumb. He could feel Don's finger gently rubbing and let himself relax to give the older man access.

Liz moaned, head falling back as pleasure rolled through her. She gently stroked her fingers through Colby's hair, encouraging him to continue.

Don carefully pushed his finger inside Colby, beginning to move it around in gentle, circular motions, taking his time so as to prepare the other man fully.

Colby gently switched so that he was licking the tiny nub while sliding a finger inside Liz, searching for a tiny bundle of nerves. He moaned at how good Don's finger felt inside, the sound vibrating around Liz's sensitive flesh. Colby found himself minutely shifting, loosening and opening up for Don like an offering. He belonged to these two; they owned all of him and he wouldn't hide or hold anything back.

Liz's moan was longer and more drawn out and her body arched towards Colby's touch and tongue.

Don coated a second finger in the lube and pushed that gently inside Colby, moving both digits now in gentle, circular motions.

Colby's quick intake of breath and clenching around Don's fingers only lasted for a second; if asked, he wouldn't have been able to describe the intense feeling that coursed through him. Both physical and emotional. It was uncomfortable, not quite painful enough to warrant stopping, but it stung. At the same time, it felt so good and right. Emotionally, he wanted it, but he suddenly was nervous. He stiffened only a fraction of a second, but it was enough for both Liz and Don to notice before he forced himself into a semblance of relaxation. He continued licking and stroking Liz, sucking at her clit every third or fourth lick.

Don noticed Colby's reactions and he carefully withdrew the second finger. His other hand stroked gently over the other man's hips. "It's okay, Col," he murmured. "We don't need to rush anything. Don't force yourself."

Colby whined softly, before pulling off Liz long enough to whisper, "I'm okay... I want to...." His body noticeably relaxed at Don slowing down, though. It helped his nerves knowing that the older man was watching and paying attention so closely. He kissed the tiny nub under his lips before sucking on it again, running his tongue over it. He crooked his finger slightly, finding the spot he'd been searching for and began to apply pressure and rub consistently.

Liz gasped out, gripping the comforter in one hand, her knuckles turning white, while her other hand shifted to grip onto Colby's shoulder tightly. Not enough to hurt him, but in reaction to what he was doing. Her moans and gasps were interspersed with whimpers.

Don gently squeezed one hip. "We don't have to go any further than this the first time. We'll have lots of opportunities to reach that step."

Colby didn't want to leave Liz hanging to argue with Don, or even disagree. Plus... he'd decided that maybe, in this, it was better to let Don be in charge; his inexperience might cause him to push for things he wasn't ready for and none of them wanted any of them to be hurt. So, while he felt disappointment at the idea that Don wouldn't take him, he didn't argue. Instead, he focused on Liz and making it feel as good for her as possible.

Don let his fingers gently squeeze Colby's hips a moment more, even as he continued to move the digit inside the other man. Then, he moved his hand a bit lower; gently placed it against Colby's backside. He didn't smack hard...it was more of a firm pat... but it was driven by instinct.

Colby couldn't help the tiny gasp and then long moan of need, any more than he could stop his body from clenching tight around Don's finger and then relaxing completely, shifting so that he was completely open and vulnerable to Don's hand. He'd thought in passing about Don spanking him for purely domination and pleasure instead of punishment. He hadn't been sure how to bring it up. It was better than he'd thought it would be and he wanted more.

Keeping a careful watch over Colby's reactions, Don was able to tell that the reaction to the smack was a favorable one. So, he repeated it, a bit more firmly this time, and then rubbed the two spots he'd swatted before smacking a third time.

Liz groaned, arching her whole body, beginning to pant as Colby's actions pushed her nearer and nearer to the edge.

Colby began to moan against Liz, the sound vibrating into her as he licked, sucked and stroked. He was surprised to feel himself getting hard again from the smacks and the movement of Don's finger inside felt better. He needed more and tried to show Don by pushing back onto Don's hand whenever the older man smacked, or squeezing inside, trying to draw Don in deeper whenever he pushed the digit in.

Don responded to Colby's movements by continuing to smack, rubbing every so often, keeping control of his strength so the swats would sting, but not actually hurt. He continued exploring inside Colby, then leaned forward and gently kissed the nape of his neck.

Liz cried out as her orgasm hit, clenching her fingers in the comforter and on Colby's shoulder.

Colby kept licking gently until Liz's body finally relaxed under him, sated. He then gently withdrew his finger and kissed her inner thigh with tiny butterfly kisses before resting his head on her hip and just moaning softly with pleasure as Don smacked and stroked in him. "Please..." he found himself begging, though he wasn't sure what he needed more of; the smacks? Don's fingers? The gentle kisses at his neck? What he did know was that he was fully hard again and needed.

Liz leaned down and kissed Colby, gently and lingeringly, while Don continued, still watching Colby's reactions carefully. He continued to smack, continued to explore inside Colby. And he continued to kiss the back of the other man's neck. "Do you want to try the second finger again?" he murmured against Colby's skin.

Colby quivered, his breathing becoming more ragged the more aroused and needy he was. "...Please... yes...." he begged between Liz's kisses.

Don pushed the second finger inside, going slowly and carefully, even while Liz continued to kiss Colby, holding his face in one hand. Stroking behind his ears and through his hair with her other hand.

This time, the discomfort only lasted a second, the sting less than that, before Colby was relaxed and opening further for Don. He stretched around Don's fingers with very little resistance. Colby let out a tiny sob of need, continuing to kiss Liz while trying to offer Don everything he could.  His erection was swollen and red, hanging down, but he didn't touch it or asked to be touched. Don and Liz were in charge and he was along for whatever ride they took him on.

Don continued to gently move his fingers and explore inside Colby, his other hand still continuing with the gentle smacks. Still rubbing, but now possessively squeezing too.

Liz kissed Colby a bit more deeply, a bit more passionately, even as she reached out and glided her fingers gently over his erection.

Colby's body was quivering by this point. Tiny pants and needy moans had become a soundtrack to what they were doing to him. A thin layer of sweat caused his body to glisten. At some point- he wasn't sure when- all of his clothes had been removed and thrown to the floor (probably at the same time Liz's pants had disappeared). He was flushed pink, his bottom an even darker shade of pink because of the smacks. Each smack and squeeze of his bottom drew out a soft moan of need; each ghosting of Liz's fingers over his erection drew out a whine. "Please... more..." he begged, with a tiny sob, as he pulled back from the kiss to catch his breath.

Don let his teeth graze gently over Colby's neck; not biting, but enough to make his control clear. To make it felt. "I'm going to push inside you," he whispered. "I'm going to take you, now, so that you know who you belong to. So, you know just who is in control of you." He withdrew his fingers and coated his member in the lube.

Liz gently gripped Colby's erection, still kissing him, angling her head so she could deepen it.

Colby whined softly, angling his own head so his neck was open and vulnerable to Don, submitting to his dominance and control. He opened his mouth to Liz, deepening the kiss; not giving her the same control he gave to Don, but letting her take lead for the moment. He whimpered as he felt Don withdraw his fingers, but widened his thighs so Don could more easily fit between them.

Don gripped Colby's hips firmly and then began to slowly and carefully push into the other man. He still kissed and gently grazed his teeth over Colby's neck, even though he didn't bite; didn't do anything that would leave a mark behind.

Liz rubbed her nose gently against Colby's, pulling back from the kiss enough to smile at him. "I love you," she whispered; then glanced up to meet Don's eyes. "Both of you."

Colby let his head drop to rest against Liz's shoulder, enabling Don to continue nipping at his neck even as he pushed in. He was panting, trying to catch his breath as he felt himself slowly stretch open to accommodate Don. He didn't know how it was possible to stretch so much... to feel so full... and Don was only a fraction of the way in. He groaned with desire at knowing he'd feel the claiming even after Don was finished with him. "Lo... love you..." he gasped in response to Liz, keeping his head on her shoulder and giving her a line of sight down his back to where Don was laying claim.

Liz smiled, wrapping her arms around Colby and embracing him, nuzzling into his face. "It looks good," she whispered. "Right. Him claiming you. Does it feel good?" she asked, her voice carrying more than a hint of concern.

"Y...yeeees..." Colby groaned as Don pushed in just a little bit more. The older man was taking his time; which kept Colby from becoming nervous and tensing up, but was causing the ache deep inside him to grow stronger the longer he was left unfilled. It turned him on more, hearing Liz say it looked good. "Wh... what's it look like?" he couldn't help but ask, wishing he could see where his and Don's bodies connected. He couldn't help thinking it would look really hot.

"Really hot," Liz whispered in one ear. "He's claiming you and you're submitting." She shifted slightly and kissed the ear she'd whispered into. "It's going to turn me on again," she murmured.

Don continued to push in slowly and steadily, watching Colby's reactions carefully so he knew when to stop and wait for the other man to adjust.

Colby grinned at the reply, kissing her shoulder and opening his thighs a little more, arching his back to make it easier for Don. He appreciated the older man going so slow, even if part of him wanted to feel Don completely buried in him as soon as possible. His body adjusted to the stretch with no pain. There wasn't even any discomfort. Though it wasn't a feeling he was used to, having something so thick opening him up like that, it was something he thought he'd want to get used to. "You like it, huh?" His voice was rough with arousal and he made certain to speak so both Liz and Don could hear. "You like seeing Don push his hard shaft into me? Seeing it disappear ever so slowly and knowing that it's rubbing me deep inside and making me need too much?" He couldn't stop the breathless groan as his own words did to him what he was trying to do to Liz.

Liz moaned at the words and gently nipped at the ear she'd kissed. "More than like it," she whispered, fingers gliding gently against Colby's erection once more. "I can feel how much you like it, too," she added, before kissing him again.

Don nuzzled and then kissed the back of Colby's neck, still pushing in ever so slowly. "You feel good under me," he whispered against the other man's skin, slowly and gradually pushing his way until he was finally completely inside.

Colby moaned softly once Don was fully inside, hips pressing against the heated flesh of his backside. He could feel the older man blanketing him, chest against his back, teeth at his neck. He felt so vulnerable... he loved the feeling of knowing his well-being was in Don's hands. He kissed Liz back, letting his eyes drift closed so he could focus on how it felt. Could focus on how stuffed he felt, of the glide of Don's member against his inner walls, of Liz's fingers stroking his swollen shaft. "...Yours..." he breathed out, in a promise to both of them. "...Make me feel it... own me?" he begged.

Don gripped Colby's hips tighter, beginning to thrust carefully and gently inside the other man. "Ours," he confirmed. "You belong to us, Col. No matter what happens. I love you so much." He kissed Colby's neck a little bit more firmly.

"So sexy," Liz whispered, kissing Colby's cheek and then his lips.

Colby returned the kiss, then let his head rest against her shoulder again, breathing raggedly through his mouth. He moaned softly with need at each thrust. "Feels so good...." He focused on the slight sting when Don's hips met his tender cheeks, the fullness and drag as Don moved inside. The feeling of Liz's arms wrapped around whatever part of him Don didn't blanket and control. He felt completely owned by both his lovers. "Feels perfect...."

"You feel so good, Colby," Don murmured, his voice strained as his release was growing closer.

"This feels so right," Liz added, still holding onto him. "It feels so right to be able to hold you like this. For the three of us to be close like this." She continued to lightly stroke and gently squeeze Colby's erection.

Colby's breathing was full, panting whines by this point and he was unable to stop himself from pushing his hips forward into Liz's hand, then back onto Don so that the older man would spear him more deeply. He felt his balls tightening in preparation, his entrance squeezing tightly around Don, as his body reached the edge. And then he was spurting into Liz's hand, groaning out his release as his body spasmed for both his lovers.

Don's own release came over him quickly and he clutched tightly at Colby's hips, gasping out as his orgasm filled and overwhelmed him.

Colby moaned as he felt Don's release flood his insides and he let out a happy little chuff of air. "Yours..." he said, to both of his lovers in a tone that couldn't be labeled anything other than proud. His body wasn't just his any longer. He was happy, content and proud that he belonged to them and no one else. Proud that Don was in control not only at work, but also at home. In bed. Proud that Liz now had a right to direct him, even if she didn't control the same as Don. Proud that their claim on him also gave him a claim on them and he could protect and take care of them and it would be allowed.

"Ours." Liz kissed him and snuggled in close as she hugged.

Don kissed the side of Colby's neck, carefully pulling out of the other man...but only so that he could roll next to Colby and snuggle, wrapping his arm around Colby's waist. "Love you. Love you both." He kissed Colby, then Liz.

Colby snuggled back into Don's embrace, pulling Liz with him so he was sandwiched tightly between them. He smiled as he watched Don kiss Liz, feeling safe, happy and lethargic. "All squishy inside..." he said, with a hint of amusement, but no intentions of moving to clean himself. "...Like it..." he added, in a drowsy voice.

Liz smiled and kissed him. "I'm guessing it didn't turn you on when Don spanked you for putting yourself in danger."

Don snorted softly. "I smacked harder when it came to punishment." He wrapped his arms around Colby's waist, which allowed him to also brush his fingers against Liz's chest and stomach. "Figured you'd like it when you weren't in trouble," he murmured in Colby's ear, before kissing the side of his neck.

Colby blushed, but didn't disagree. "The difference when I'm in trouble and when it's for fun is obvious..." he agreed. "And yeah... liked it a lot when I wasn't in trouble... I... uh... liked how it made me feel small... controlled..." he admitted hesitantly, not sure that was something he should admit.

"Anything else you think you might like?" Liz asked curiously. "Maybe not bondage...I think that might be dangerous if something were to happen."

Don pressed a kiss to Colby's shoulder. "We can experiment. See if there's anything we like. At the moment, it's enough to be with you both." He smiled.

Colby visibly shivered at the word bondage. "No... I couldn't be tied up and get aroused and wouldn't want to do that to either of you..." he agreed with a whisper, remembering his moment of being captive on the freighter. "As long as I'm with you both... that's most important." He snuggled closer to both of them, drawing comfort by their presence.

"That's the important thing to us too." Liz smiled and kissed him, tightening her embrace around him and Don. "That we're together. Everything else will fall into place."

"You'll both stay? You don't have to go to your own room?" Colby asked hopefully. It was comforting, being held by both of them.

Don pressed a gentle kiss to Colby's shoulder. "We can both stay, Col," he agreed.

"It's not like the bed isn't big enough," Liz commented.

Colby relaxed, giving both of them an innocent smile. "Love you..." He snuggled some more, his eyes drifting shut.

It didn't take long for all three of them to slip into sleep, cuddled together and making sure they were all in touching range.

The End