Chapter Two

He wandered through a world where ghostly forms shimmered, moving at the very edge of his vision. This world wasn't anything like the one he'd left behind, but somehow, it felt familiar anyway. He drifted rather than walked. The air that surrounded him was silent...but peaceful, here in this place.

Somewhere at the back of his mind, he wondered. What was his name? He'd known it once, but that time had been centuries ago. Back when he'd been...

Human. He remembered he'd been human once, long ago. But the memories were too far away for him to reach for them. And now, he was trapped here...alone...with only the splintered remnants of what had once been a human soul for company.

He didn't know how long he'd been wandering for. It could have been minutes or hours; days or weeks. Time had lost all meaning to him. As he moved through this new world, different images called to him. Occasionally, he stopped, his eyes drawn to an image trapped inside a bubble. Or he was pulled towards a tantalising scent that lingered just at the edge of his senses.

After what felt like an eternity...or perhaps was only mere seconds...his surroundings began to change. In front of him, there was a lake. The lake was different to any he'd seen before; different to any in the world he'd been in before. Its waters were violet in colour, and the plants that grew alongside it were hues of scarlet and crimson.

There was a person there. A young man, wearing a mask carved in the shape of a fox's face with a scar across one cheek. While his face was hidden from view, his thick, spiky hair was a vivid peach in colour.

"Who are you?"

As soon as he spoke the words, he regretted them. They hung in the air before falling into silence that echoed all around them.

The other man didn't answer with words. He stepped forward, positioning himself in a defensive manner, holding a sturdy wooden staff in front of him like it was a sword.

"Who are you?" he repeated, fighting the urge to take a step back...to turn and run. Once upon a time, he wouldn't have hesitated to fight. But at that time, he'd had more power. He'd had more strength.

At least...that was what his memories told him. But his memories were full of holes and sketchy at best. He couldn't even remember his own name.

"Who are you?" the other man returned. His tone wasn't exactly hostile, but it was a question that demanded an answer.

He bowed his head, looking down at his own form...or what remained of it. He looked like little more than a wisp of air; barely enough to be called a spirit. "I don't know," he whispered finally. "I don't remember who I am...or who I was."

"Do you remember what you've done?"

He flinched at the words. They weren't spoken with anger or disgust. If anything, there was a note of disappointment in the other man's voice.

He flinched. There was nothing familiar about this man, but the note of disappointment in his voice was real. He bowed his head further and whispered, almost to himself, "What have I done?"

"My name is Sabito."

He raised his eyes to the other's masked face once more. "Do you know my name?" he whispered.

Sabito was unmoving as he asked, "The name you had as a human? Or the name you took as a demon?” 

The words hid him like cold water had been splashed in his face. He'd been a demon? Was that why he was wandering here, lost and alone...not able to find those he'd known during life? Was this some kind of penance or punishment for crimes he didn't even remember? "I...don't..." His voice faltered.

"You don't remember." It was a statement, not a question. Sabito slowly lowered his staff, although he didn't relax his tense stance. "Until you do...until you make peace with what you once were and what you once did...you will have no hope of moving on."

"Are you here to guide me?" he asked uncertainly.

"Perhaps, if you need it." The mask made it impossible to tell what Sabito was thinking. "Or perhaps I am here to judge you."

"What did I do?"

Sabito didn't answer. Instead, he stepped to one side and beckoned towards the lake.

Hesitantly, he moved over to the lake, drifting rather than walking. After another glance at the fox mask, he slowly knelt by the side of the lake and leaned over, peering into the still depths.

For a few moments, all he saw was his own reflection, which didn't tell him that much about himself. He looked average, with black hair pulled back into a loose braid and eyes that looked like dark pools. The rest of his form was indistinct...little more than white mist swirling in the shape of a person.

He nearly leaned back to tell Sabito that it wasn't working when his reflection changed.

It was still him, but...different, somehow. He watched as the scenes from his previous life, from when he was a human, flashed by. Even though the images were fast, each one struck a chord in him. Each one pulled at a thread of memory inside him, forcing him to follow each one through to its conclusion.

And none of them were good.

He watched, tears blurring his eyes, as he hurt people, over and over, even as a human. He watched his final, inevitable transformation into a demon...and he watched the final battle with the demon slayers who ultimately killed him.

It seemed to take an eternity, but eventually, the images faded and stopped...leaving his own shaken reflection staring back at him, now more vivid and detailed than it had been. His spirit form looked like he had as a human, but he still couldn't remember the name he'd carried as a human.

The only name he remembered was the one he'd taken as a demon. Enmu.

He slowly pushed himself to his feet and bowed his head, his fingers curling into fists so tight, his nails left half-moon crescents in his palms. A distant part of him wondered how it was possible for him to feel pain when he was dead and trapped in the spirit world...or so he assumed.

Half-afraid he would be left alone, Enmu slowly looked back over his shoulder, his soul twisting when he saw Sabito still standing there. Through the fox mask, his eyes were fixed on Enmu's face...but it was impossible to tell what he was thinking.

"I...I remember everything," Enmu whispered.

"I know."

Enmu looked down, unable to hold eye contact with Sabito. The agony of his last moments played over and over in his mind...but he found his thoughts turning away from his own pain, instead thinking about the children he'd recruited to his cause; the train driver he'd persuaded to help him in exchange for a beautiful dream. "Are they...?" His voice faltered, not sure he wanted the answer to his question.

Sabito said nothing.

Turning fully to face the other spirit, Enmu hesitated...then slowly knelt on the ground, bowing his head. "I'm ready," he whispered, bracing himself for a killing blow. Why else would a spirit so clearly good be here, if not to kill him? "You're here to judge me and to carry out my sentence. I do not deserve even a chance of rebirth," he whispered.

Sabito was still and quiet, his eyes fixed on Enmu's face. Slowly, he raised his staff.

Enmu didn't even flinch. At this point, true death would be something of a relief; a release from the torment borne both from his human life, and also from his life as a demon.

"Get up," Sabito said, his voice low but not allowing any room for disobedience.

Slowly, fumbling, Enmu rose to his feet. He still kept his head bowed, unable to look at the other spirit. Gone were the theatrical airs he'd once put on, and any pretty words he might have said to save himself from his deserved fate soured and died on his tongue as his mind forced him to relive those people he'd hurt, over and over again.

"I'm not here to kill you," Sabito whispered, his voice a mere brush of air.

Enmu's laugh of disbelief sounded more like a sob. "After everything I've done? How can you not be here for that?"

"Do you know what keeps spirits bound to this world, unable to move on and find peace...or move onto the next stage in their rebirth?"

Enmu slowly shook his head.

"Unfinished business. Feelings they cannot reconcile." Sabito took a step closer to Enmu, standing directly in front of him...close enough that they could touch if either took even another half step forward. "Guilt they cannot let go of."

"What holds you here?" Enmu asked, trying to deflect from the spirit's all too knowing words and close proximity.

"My father's grief," Sabito answered, without hesitation. "The others have all moved on...to find peace, or to be reborn. I will stay while he is still able to feel my presence."

"No one ever grieved for me," Enmu whispered. "As a human or a demon...no one cared whether I lived or died. Not even Muzan."

Sabito said nothing.

"Why are you here, if not to kill me?" Enmu asked.

"I am here to offer you a second chance. A way to atone...a path towards forgiving yourself."

Enmu shook his head, numb and barely able to hide his disbelief. "Why?"

Sabito sat slowly on a tree stump that seemed to have emerged for just that purpose. "My life was cut short before it could truly begin, like so many others. I was never able to become a demon slayer, but...I have always wanted to make a difference. I helped my father's last apprentice, and now I want to help you as well."

There was something in Sabito's words and the look in his eyes that made Enmu take a step forward towards him. Instead of deflecting with sarcasm or humour, like he'd done when he'd been alive and then, later, when he'd become a demon. "How are you going to help me?"

Sabito put the staff on the ground next to him and reached out, fingers closing around his wrist.

The shock of the contact stilled Enmu for a moment. It wasn't painful, and it wasn't even really confining. He could easily break out of the hold. If he wanted to.

Instead, he allowed himself to be pulled closer. Sabito's touch was gentle, though firm, as he guided Enmu round to his side and tugged him gently across his lap.

The position was surprisingly humbling. Enmu closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. He wasn't quite sure what to do with his hands. They hovered in the air, uncertain, before he hesitantly reached them behind his back and crossed them at the wrists, like a man bound.

With every passing moment, he felt more and more real.

Sabito squeezed his hands gently, holding them in place against Enmu's back, and let his other hand rest gently on Enmu's bottom. He rubbed gently for a few moments, the action more comforting and grounding than scary, and whispered, "This is not a punishment for the actions you took, whether as a demon or a human."

Enmu shifted slightly, surprised by the warmth that built in his chest. Swallowing, blinking back the moisture that filled his eyes, he whispered, his voice low and vulnerable, "What is it?"

"Catharsis. A way to release your negative emotions." Sabito squeezed his hands gently as he added, "And perhaps as a way to move towards forgiving yourself."

Enmu breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, allowing himself to truly feel the sensations. Held in place over Sabito's lap, he felt comforted...secure...safe; feelings he'd never experienced before.

The first swat was gentler than he'd expected, although it stung a little. His breath caught as Sabito delivered a series of the light, stinging swats, working his way from the crest of Enmu's backside down to mid-thigh before pausing, hand resting on Enmu's lower back.

Tears were already blurring Enmu's vision, making it difficult to see anything, although none had fallen yet. Breathing in deeply, he whispered, "Is it over?"

"Not yet." Sabito squeezed his hands. "Do you remember your mortal life? The first time you were human?"

The first time. Those words gave him hope that he wasn't beyond redemption. If there was a first time, that meant there had to be a second time...didn't it? "I...I was a doctor," he said quietly, voice hitching slightly as he forced himself to think back...to remember.

Sabito was silent.

Swallowing hard, Enmu forced himself to continue speaking. "I didn't help people, though. I gave them false hope. I..." The moisture filling his eyes finally spilled over. "I thought a beautiful dream of living a full and happy life was better than knowing they would suffer and die."

"You believed false hope was better than no hope at all."

Enmu bowed his head, shame weighing him down. "I did."

Sabito moved his hand and began a new circuit of swats, this time going a fraction harder.

Enmu shifted slightly, the warmth from the swats beginning to bloom into sting. As Sabito's hand came down again and again, he found his mind turning to all of the people he'd harmed...as a human and as a demon. With every swat that fell, a different face appeared in front of his eyes. Men, women, children.

There were so many.

By the time Sabito paused again, hand once more resting on his lower back, Enmu was crying quietly. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he whispered, "I am sorry."

"I believe you are." Sabito rubbed his back for a few more moments, then he began to swat once more.

Enmu wasn't sure if he was swatting any harder, but it certainly felt harder. The sting was quickly morphing into a burn, and despite his intention to take what he knew he deserved, when he knew he deserved so much more, his body began shifting over Sabito's lap, responding to the pain he was causing.

Eventually, the spanking stopped. Sabito's hands became gentle, rubbing and stroking Enmu's hair and back as he sobbed out the emotional pain that had been brought to the surface.

By the time Enmu's tears slowed down to quiet sniffles, the ache in his backside had faded to a mild sting compared to what it had been. He shifted slightly, wondering if he needed to get up and move away from the comfort...but he found himself reluctant to do so. He swallowed hard, blinking away the remnants of his tears, and whispered, "I really am sorry."

Sabito was quiet for a few moments, his fingers still stroking through Enmu's hair. Finally, he said, "Get up." His voice was quiet, but there was no mistaking the note of command in it.

Slowly, Enmu pushed himself to his feet. He bowed his head as he stood in front of Sabito. "What do you want me to do?" he whispered.

"Rest here, for now," Sabito murmured, standing up. He reached out, placing a hand on Enmu's shoulder, and squeezed it gently. "Tomorrow, we will continue...but for now, you have earned your rest."