My Only Friend
Summary: Sejanus put two people in danger through his actions. His father might not be prepared to discipline him, but his friend is
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes; AU; references to wounds being treated; references to canonical violence and character death
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Coriolanus walked slowly out of Dr. Gaul's laboratory, caught up in his own thoughts. He knew he should return home and go to sleep, but how could he do that? How could he close his eyes and not see the dead body of the tribute he'd killed? Up until last night, he'd never considered what he might do if faced with someone who wanted to kill him. Why should he? He'd had no reason to think about that ever being a possibility. But he'd had to do it. He'd had no choice. Had he? Dr. Gaul seemed to think there was part of him that had enjoyed it, but Coriolanus didn't think she was right. He was certain she wasn't right.
But at least there was one less threat that would face Lucy Gray.
He shifted slightly and winced when the stitches pulled in his back. Part of him thought that the pain might be good: it helped to remind him that the tributes in the games could turn on anyone. But that made him even more worried about Lucy Gray's survival in the arena. She wasn't a fighter. The only thing she could do, the only hope she had, was to hide and wait it out.
And to use the poison he'd given her.
He couldn't go home, even to sleep. Lucy Gray couldn't sleep properly, so he wouldn't either. He would return to watch through the screens...see if he could help her by sending her gifts from her sponsors. She was going to need food eventually. She was going to need food. He just had to figure out how to get the drones underground without having them smash before she could get what she needed to survive.
Coriolanus turned to go back to the academy building. Before he could do so, though, a car pulled up beside him. The back door was opened, revealing Sejanus in the backseat. His fellow student looked into Coriolanus' eyes and asked, "Can we talk?"
Coriolanus hesitated. The events of the previous night were still vivid in his mind...not least the fact that Sejanus had put the both of them in danger. And he wanted to get back to Lucy Gray, especially as he wanted to assure himself of her safety....
"It won't take long," Sejanus said, as if he could tell what Coriolanus was thinking. "And then my driver will bring you back here. She'll be safe during our conversation, Coriolanus."
"You can't know that." But Coriolanus moved over to the car anyway. He got in, settling back as the door closed...but he couldn't quite make himself comfortable, even if he had to put on the act that he was. Even Sejanus had to believe the Snow family still had money. No one could know the truth.
Sejanus was silent for a few minutes, while the car moved along at a sedate pace that wasn't much faster than walking. He appeared much more comfortable, more in his element, than Coriolanus himself, but perhaps he was hiding his true feelings in the same way as Coriolanus was. After all, Sejanus had grown up in District 2 and didn't feel at ease in the Capitol at all.
"I wanted to apologise." Sejanus finally broke the silence.
Masking his surprise, Coriolanus looked at Sejanus. "You're not sorry," he said finally. "You were planning to let them kill you, so that you could send a message to the Capitol. I know that you don't regret doing that, so the only reason I can think you'd be apologising to me is because your father is making you."
"He's not making me," Sejanus answered. "And you're right. I'm not sorry for breaking into the arena. But I am sorry that you got hurt because you chose to come in after me. I'm sorry that you were forced to kill someone because you came to retrieve me."
Coriolanus shifted, feeling even more uncomfortable at the words. He wasn't used to apologies from either end. "Thank you," he said finally, though the words came out stilted and short.
Sejanus flinched visibly and looked away. "You're angry with me."
"I'm not angry." Coriolanus couldn't really say what he was feeling, but he wasn't angry. Mostly, he just felt tired. And his back throbbed.
"But you're disappointed. Hurt." Sejanus shifted slightly. "My father said that. That he's disappointed in me. But it hurts worse to know that you're disappointed in me."
Was he disappointed in Sejanus? Coriolanus wasn't sure. He couldn't put his thoughts and feelings into words, not ones he could use to explain those emotions to his friend. "You shouldn't have broken into the arena," he said finally. "There was nothing you could do for Marcus. He was already dead. Getting yourself killed alongside him wasn't going to do anything to change what you want to change. All they'd do is hush it up. Say you'd died from the flu."
"Like Clemensia."
Coriolanus couldn't quite hide his flinch at her name. Dr. Gaul had been ruthless, punishing Clemensia for claiming she'd written the proposal Coriolanus had handed over. How much danger would Sejanus be in if Coriolanus confirmed his guess? But even as Coriolanus thought that, it occurred to him that Sejanus was already in danger. He'd put himself in danger. And a white-hot pit began to grow in his stomach as he thought of that. As he remembered the sight of Sejanus kneeling over Marcus' body, waiting for his own death.
He was far more affected by all this than he'd initially realised.
"Yes. Like Clemensia." Coriolanus glanced towards the driver, then lowered his voice...although he couldn't keep the hard edge out of it as he continued furiously, "You weren't going to send any kind of message. You would have got yourself killed for nothing." Then, because he didn't know if reminding Sejanus of his own safety would be enough, he continued, "You would have got me killed for nothing."
"I'm sorry."
Coriolanus couldn't believe that apology anymore than he had the first one. He dimly realised that the car had stopped. They were stationary. That was good, because he needed that stillness for what he was about to do. For what he had in mind.
Coriolanus undid his own seatbelt and then reached over to undo Sejanus' as well. "I don't think you're really sorry," he said. "I don't think you really understand the danger you put us both in. You didn't have to kill someone in that arena. I did." And he was going to have to live with that action every time he closed his eyes.
"What are you going to do?" Sejanus whispered.
Coriolanus didn't answer with words. Instead, he leaned forward and grasped Sejanus' wrists. Physically, he wasn't any stronger than Sejanus; and if the other fought back, Coriolanus wouldn't be able to continue with what he intended to do. But Sejanus didn't fight. He followed where Coriolanus led. Their actions and movements resulted in Sejanus positioned in place across Coriolanus' lap. It wasn't an especially comfortable position...would be far easier to be in if they weren't in a vehicle...but Coriolanus would work with what was currently available to him.
Lifting his hand, Coriolanus slapped it down in a firm smack against Sejanus' backside. His hand landing made a dull thwap and Sejanus gave a sharp intake of breath.
Coriolanus glanced towards the driver, but since the man wasn't making a move to get out of the vehicle, or put a stop to this, he turned his attention back to Sejanus. And he continued to bring his hand down in firm, sharp swats; sometimes delivering one smack in a spot and other times delivering several smacks in one spot before moving on to the next. The random pattern made it impossible for Sejanus to predict where each swat was going to land...and it didn't take long before Coriolanus could feel him squirming across his lap, letting out little huffs and tiny pants.
When he finally paused, Coriolanus kept his hand resting on Sejanus' bottom, indicating the spanking wasn't over. He began to speak, his voice low and stern, as he tried to forget what Dr. Gaul had told him about taking someone's life...and how he couldn't deny that she was wrong. "I know your father won't do this to you. He'll probably ground you. He'll take away your things. Tell you that you're an embarrassment." He paused, waiting to see if Sejanus would respond. Would protest. When the only sound he heard was quiet, soft sniffling, he continued to speak. "You'll defy him the moment you get the chance to. But you're not going to do that to me. You won't put yourself in that kind of danger again. And you won't put me in that kind of danger again. Because if you do, then I'll do this again. Only the next time, it'll be worse." He paused. "Do you understand?"
"I understand." Sejanus' breath hitched.
"Good." Coriolanus moved his hand to the waistband of Sejanus' pants and tugged them down, easing them down to pool around his ankles. Then, he proceeded to do the same with Sejanus' underwear.
"Coriolanus."
Ignoring the protest, Coriolanus took a tighter grip on Sejanus and began to swat his friend's bare backside. He sped up the swats and put more force behind them, ensuring that each smack would be felt to maximum effect. The spanking was obviously working, because Sejanus was squirming with even more abandon...until finally, he put his head down and began to sob. Hard.
Coriolanus delivered several more smacks and then stopped, letting his hand rest on Sejanus' backside once more. He could feel the heat coming from the punished skin. "I hope you don't make this necessary again, but I won't hesitate to act if you do," he said. "The danger of the arena is not the only danger you'll face if you continue to act so blatantly. You cannot make an enemy of Dr. Gaul."
Sejanus whimpered softly. When he spoke, his voice was thick and heavy with tears. "I understand."
"Good." Coriolanus pulled his underwear and pants back into place, but didn't force Sejanus to stand immediately. He moved his hand to Sejanus' back, rubbing gently as he gave his friend the time he needed to calm down.
Finally, Sejanus' tears slowed and then died away. He took a deep breath and slowly pushed himself up off Coriolanus' lap. His eyes were wet and red-rimmed and there were tear tracks on his cheeks.
He looked so much younger than he actually was.
Coriolanus found himself responding to the look on Sejanus' face and he reached out, wrapping his arms around his friend and pulling him into a strong hug. He didn't exactly feel comfortable doing so, but he had the feeling Sejanus needed the comfort. "Don't do something like that again." Even as he said the words, he knew his friend probably wouldn't pay any attention to them. Sejanus wanted to change things...and he'd already demonstrated that he was more than willing to endanger himself in order to do that.
Coriolanus doubted very much that he wouldn't need to spank Sejanus again. Given the alternative was letting his friend put himself in danger, put them both in danger, he decided that he'd much rather repeat the spanking than let Sejanus' recklessness put them both in severe danger.
The End