Losing Control

Summary: Barry had learned the truth about Eobard Thawne. He doesn’t handle it well.
Warning(s): Contains harsh spanking; mouth soaping; corner time; sexual situations; M/m, D/s; references to canon character death; ‘immature’ behaviour and being taken care of
Pairing: Eobard Thawne/Barry Allen

###

Thawne reclined on the tiny bunk in his cell, reading a book. There really wasn't much else he could do, now that he was locked up. He didn't really care about anything now. The truth had finally come out...Barry knew that Thawne had been responsible for his mother's death. And no matter the reasons behind it, Thawne knew that Barry wouldn't listen to the truth. It made him sad, knowing that he'd lost the relationship he'd formed with the younger man, but it was no less than what he'd expected...what he'd anticipated. Accepting that Barry now hated him, he was resigned to spending the rest of his life locked in this tiny cell, unable to use any of his powers.

There was nothing left. All he could do was wait for the end...and it might even come at the hands of Barry. And Thawne knew he couldn't fight the younger man; the person he'd fallen in love with, despite everything that had happened.

Barry watched Thawne on the monitor, the sense of hurt betrayal festering. Why? Why had the other speedster gone back in time? Why had he killed Barry's mother? Why, if the point was to make sure Barry died and didn't do whatever it was he did in the future, had he mentored Barry? Protected him? Corrected him so that he'd learn to stay safe? It made no sense!

Unable to take the internal battle going on in his own head any longer, Barry had turned the audio off to the cameras. He wanted answers, but he suspected he might not want recorded evidence of those answers for anyone else to hear. Once the audio was off, he sped down to the holding vault, standing in front of the viewing pane, and just stared at Thawne.

"Why?!" he finally demanded, in a furious and disrespectful tone he had never used with the other man before. If he had realized how hurt, scared, and lost he looked, he wouldn't have said anything. He always had worn his heart on his sleeve. But he didn't realize and, much like a toddler who felt out of their depths, he was lashing out in an angry tantrum. "You may as well tell me. You're never going to see another day outside this cell. You'll be lucky if you see another living human..." he snarled.

Thawne paused in his reading, but didn't look up from his book. "You'll need to be a bit more specific," he drawled. "What exactly are you asking me why about?" In the past, that kind of tone would have got Barry a scolding, at the very least...more than likely, a spanking and perhaps even his mouth washed out with soap.

He'd known that it would come to an end eventually, the life he'd built on this lie. It couldn't last forever. And once the truth had come out, he'd known he was going to be the villain in all of their eyes.

Reasons didn't matter. Only actions mattered. And Thawne's actions painted him as a monster. And he told himself he was okay with that. The ends justified the means.

"Why kill my mother? Why was she a threat to you? If you had left her alive, you would never have had to deal with me at all, let alone pretend you cared...that I mattered to you," Barry spat, his tone even more disrespectful and antagonistic. Thawne's lack of reaction, as if Barry was so far beneath notice that he could act bored and unconcerned, made the younger man determined to get under Thawne's skin...if only to make sure Thawne felt how keenly he had no control over Barry any longer.

Thawne considered, really thought about, warning Barry not to use that tone of voice with him. He would have before. Heck, Barry wouldn't have got through the first comment without a warning, at the very least.

But what good would any of that do? For that matter, what good would telling Barry the truth do? He knew that the younger man needed an enemy...someone to hate. Fate wasn't good enough...and Thawne had long since grown used to the fact he would have to be that enemy.

He'd just done everything in his power to make sure Barry was as good as he could be first. Even if he ended up being someone Barry took out...at least the speedster's strength would mean that he was saved. That the world was safe. Since coming to this time, since learning about and caring about Barry, the thought of him dying with the rest of the world had broken something in Thawne.

"You couldn't begin to understand the reasons behind what I did." Thawne kept his voice carefully modulated, as if he was finding the whole thing faintly amusing at best. Of course, that was the furthest thing he found the situation. But it wouldn't do any of them any good to tell the truth.

"Really? More like you have no reason. Because you're a psychopath. You know what I think? I think I kicked your ass in the future and you thought if you got rid of me before I got my powers, you could come out on top." Barry's tone, despite the fact it had already been disrespectful, somehow sounded worse. "But you are such a coward, you decided you had to go after me as a child, instead of facing me like a man. Mom? Was just collateral damage that...that... " Barry had gotten himself completely worked up by this point, beyond rational thought. The idea his mother was just a means to an end and hadn't needed to die if Thawne could have got to him without her...hurt. It hurt so bad and made the guilt he'd always felt at not being able to save her come bubbling up and overwhelm him.

He went to the locked drawer and removed the device they'd used to stop Thawne before putting him into the lockup. "I'll make you face me, you bastard..." he growled, moving toward the control panel next. He had decided to turn off the video feed, open the container, and put the device on Thawne. Then he'd kill him with his bare hands. Rage consumed him.

Thawne slowly put the book down. He hadn't really cared for his own safety; had accepted that all of this might end with his own death. He'd even considered this path might end with Barry killing him, as a means of revenge.

But not like this. Not in a way that meant Barry would deliberately put himself in danger. Thawne didn't plan to hurt him, didn't plan to fight him, but Barry didn't know that. And what if he killed Thawne, but he went on to act this recklessly with other enemies? People who wouldn't hold back when Barry let his anger and pain take control and....

Thawne stood slowly, all pretence of nonchalance gone. "Barry. You don't want to do this." Fear of what the future might bring with him dying-that despite his best efforts, Barry would still end up dead-made his voice thick. Barry might think it was fear of him and what he might do, but the reality was, Thawne was scared for him.

Barry smiled nastily at hearing the change in Thawne's voice. "Oh... So now you're worried? You should be... I do want to do this... You're going to wish you'd never got close to me!" The rage was all consuming, but underneath was a hint of fear. Reluctance. Barry didn't want to kill anyone and certainly not someone he cared about. And despite everything he'd done...despite the betrayal...Barry cared about Thawne. There was a large part of him that hoped Cisco or one of the others would come in and see what he was doing and stop him. But he'd chosen the time for his confrontation too well and no one was around. 

Glaring at Thawne, Barry held up the power dampening device. "I'm going to put this on you and then I'm going to take you apart bit by bit. You won't even know where I'm coming from. Just like my mom had no idea where you'd come from." He didn't even think of making Thawne put the device on first. Turning off the cameras, Barry then turned off the lock that would keep Thawne from his speed.

Thawne didn't waste any time when Barry turned off the lock. If he thought that killing him would do something, that it would bring some small measure of peace, that Barry would have been able to keep himself safe, Thawne would have let it happen. He'd accepted it as a potential outcome.

But it was so obvious that Barry wasn't prepared to take care of his own safety. And acting to save the younger man, even from himself, came far too naturally to Thawne. So as soon as the lock was removed, he sped out of the cell and to Barry, plucking the device from the younger man's hand. "If you really wanted to kill me, you should have put it on me first."

Barry's eyes narrowed. "Maybe I wanted to fight..." he said, with forced bravado. He hadn't thought about putting the device on first, and it was clear he realized it had been a mistake, but wasn't going to admit it to his enemy. He made a move to attempt and take Thawne down. Even if the older man now had his speed back, Barry was still younger. And he'd stopped him before.

Thawne hadn't tossed the device. He still held it in his hand. And as Barry made his move, one that Thawne himself had taught the younger man, Thawne could easily anticipate it. He moved with Barry...and put the device on him instead.

Barry stumbled, falling toward the floor as suddenly, his body was moving at normal speed while he'd been prepared for Flash-speed. And his fear grew, though he attempted to push it down and hide it from Thawne. He didn't say anything about what he would or wouldn't do to the older man; he did have a little self-preservation. But he couldn't seem to stop himself from calling Thawne every foul name he could think of, while cussing and awkwardly attempting to take the device off and keep Thawne in sight at the same time.

Thawne caught Barry, easily, before the younger man would hit the floor. Then, keeping hold of the younger man, he sped them out of the labs and out of the city, heading towards a more secluded spot...one where he could be certain they wouldn't be disturbed.

Barry found himself clinging to Thawne as they sped away, afraid that if he fought him and succeeded in breaking free, he'd break bones and end up with a horrible case of road rash.

Once they reached the secluded area, Thawne didn't waste any time. Moving at super speed, he stripped the younger man of all his clothing. It wasn't the usual way he dealt with things; normally, he just took Barry pants and underwear down. But it was rapidly becoming clear to him that if he continued to do nothing, Barry would act out until he got himself killed.

Thawne had had to watch it happen once, before he'd come back in time and formed a relationship with the younger man. He wasn't going to let that happen again.

Barry's eyes widened as he found himself completely naked. Some of his bravado left him in the absence of clothing. He tried to sound forceful, call on his anger to fuel him, but he noticeably didn't say anything antagonistic or name call. "W... What are you doing?" He flushed as his voice shook slightly and hoped Thawne would just attribute it to anger and not that Barry was afraid.

"Barry. We've been in this position enough times that you don't need a rundown of what I'm about to do," Thawne replied. "If I didn't think you'd immediately go out and get yourself killed, I wouldn't have fought you. I would have let you done whatever you needed to." Grasping Barry's arm, he continued, "You were wrong. It was never about stopping you, or killing you. I came back for the exact opposite." There was a tree stump in the clearing he'd sped them to and he led Barry over to it. Taking a seat, he draped Barry across his lap and held him there securely, before beginning to pepper his bottom with firm, hard smacks. "I taught you better than what you just tried to do."

Barry yelped loudly as the spanking began. He knew right away that Thawne wasn't going to go easy on him; in the past, he'd always start out a bit less fast and hard and work his way up. It took him longer than he wanted to admit to understand what Thawne had just said, though. "Wh... What you taught me?" he gasped, ashamed to find tears already forming in his eyes. He had been in this position enough times to know what Thawne was doing. He'd been in it numerous times, whenever 'Wells' had taken exception to recklessness or his behavior towards him. So many times, that his body and emotions had learned to give in, admit to wrongdoing, and ask forgiveness as soon as possible...heavy tears of repentance part of it.

The only problem was, even if Barry knew exactly what he'd done wrong and why he was being punished, even though he knew he needed to repent of those actions, the man punishing him wasn't Wells. "Why would you think I'd do anything you taught me!" he spat, as he squirmed in a futile attempt to get free.

"You're not stupid, Barry. I not only taught you how to survive...I taught you how to thrive. To use your abilities. Because I watched you die once already, and I won't do it again!" Thawne had said the words without thinking. He allowed the grief and pain that had permeated so much of his past slip into his voice.

He swallowed hard, but didn't stop or even slow the smacks. Instead, he tightened his hold on Barry, pulling the younger man closer and tighter against his stomach. Barry's bottom was quickly turning pink under the swats Thawne was giving out. Fear for the younger man's safety was the primary thing fuelling his arm.

Barry gasped and choked on air as the spanking continued, sting rapidly building to a burn. No matter how hard he squirmed, Thawne's grip was tight and sure, as it always had been when he'd stepped in to punish. It was hard not to give in. Before, when Thawne was still 'Wells' and Barry's world view hadn't been turned upside down, Barry would have given in by this point. He would have apologized for taking unnecessary chances and letting his anger rule him.  He would have apologized for the name calling, disrespect and antagonism, and accepted whatever 'Wells' chose to do in response.

But this wasn't Wells. Barry heard the words, but he was still too upset to pay attention to the tone and understand what both together meant. "I never died! And you wouldn't care if I did anyway!" he sobbed out, unable to hide the fact he was crying.

"You're wrong." Thawne spoke with an edge to his voice, even as he continued to smack, firm and hard. "Everything I did, it was to keep you alive. If I truly wanted you dead, I would have acted when you disengaged the lock and let me access my powers. I expected you to hate me. I even accepted I might die at your hands. But I will never accept you putting yourself in danger. Not then, not now, not ever."

Barry sobbed at the words, unable to form a rebuttal. He continued to squirm, even as he lost the ability to speak due to his tears. Hus bottom was moving past burn and into ache. If he kept fighting it, he'd be lucky not to bruise and be unable to sit for a day or so after Thawne stopped. But for the older man to stop, Barry knew he'd have to acknowledge what Thawne said was truth.

It was hard to believe what he was being told; Thawne had killed a man, taken his identity and worked his way into the lives of everyone Barry now cared about. It was hard to believe it hadn't been to destroy Barry. But that's what Thawne was claiming and to Barry's unending shame and confusion, Barry wanted to believe him. He wanted to give in and believe.

"I've never claimed to be a good man." As he spoke, Thawne continued to smack, turning Barry's bottom to a deeper, ruby red. "The world didn't need good, though. It had that in you. The Flash. The only one capable of saving this world. But only if things played out the way they were supposed to."

Barry shook his head, choking on air as the tears finally made it impossible to breathe through his nose. He was still squirming and fighting, though it was clear the lack of his ability was causing him to tire himself out more easily. And he listened to what Thawne was saying, trying to find something that he could use as proof that the other man was lying...or that last bit of proof needed for Barry to believe him.

"You said it yourself," Thawne said. "If I wanted you dead, why would I waste so much time trying to keep you alive? Why would I have bothered to do this, each time you put yourself in danger and nearly got yourself killed?" He began focusing harder, faster smacks to Barry's sit spots and thighs, turning them the same shade of ruby red as the rest of the younger man's backside.

Barry was full-on sobbing by this point. Thawne's words made sense. Barry didn't want to believe them, but they made sense. It was too difficult and his squirming was becoming feebler, even though he refused to stop fighting. "...Why?" he wailed, unable to articulate what he meant other than one word.

"Because the future, where I'm from, the Earth gets destroyed. Nothing can stop it, except for one person. But he can't do that unless he becomes the Flash. And there's only one possible event that can trigger that outcome." Thawne answered the original question Barry had voiced.

Barry ached by this point. His throat and eyes felt raw. His bottom felt like even the smallest touch was agony; and Thawne was still spanking. Barry knew he should give up. All the words made sense. But he couldn't bring himself to give in. It felt like giving in would be him saying that what Thawne had done to his mother was a good thing. And it wasn't. Maybe understandable, if Thawne couldn't think of an alternative, but not good. So he continued to squirm and try to fight his way free, though his efforts were feeble at best.

"It wasn't a good thing." Thawne couldn't read Barry's mind, but he had an idea of how Barry thought. "If there'd been another way, I would have found it. But there wasn't. And I tried. I might have hidden my real identity from you, but you know enough about me to know I exhaust every other possibility before allowing something that could cause injury, let alone death."

Barry wanted to believe that was the truth. Needed to believe that Thawne wasn't lying about that part of his personality. It didn't erase what was gone, but it meant that maybe...somehow...not everything had been a lie. Barry had given himself to the older man, had handed his heart over. And that made the lies and the truth so much more agonizing.

He continued to weakly fight, but it was obvious Thawne's words were breaking through. It was obvious the punishment was about to overwhelm him. He couldn't see what he looked like through Thawne's eyes. Couldn't see what he looked like as his ex-lover and dominant slowly broke down his resistance. Couldn't see what his bottom looked like to the man landing smack after unerring smack to already tenderized flesh.

He couldn't see any of it, but he could feel as his resistance slowly bled to nothing and he was left feeling open, raw and vulnerable. He hurt so much. He made one more feeble attempt to escape.

Thawne could see that Barry's bottom was bruising, even though he'd done his best not to go too far. Unfortunately, he hadn't been left with a choice. Barry needed to be broken down completely. He'd thought the younger man would push through it, but it was rapidly becoming clear to him that Barry needed him as much as he needed Barry.

"I never lied to you about how I felt," Thawne said softly. "I became Harrison Wells to protect you, to give you the tools you needed to become what I knew you could be. I didn't plan to fall in love with you...but it happened anyway," he admitted quietly.

At those words, Barry just slumped, boneless and weak, sobbing in great, heaving breaths with dry tears. He'd cried all the moisture from his body. "...Hurt so bad..." he whispered, in a tiny, broken, hopeless voice. If Thawne was telling the truth, it wouldn't be a bad thing for him to know. If it was more lies, it wouldn't matter.

At those words, at Barry slumping in surrender, Thawne stopped spanking. He didn't touch the bruised, punished backside, instead letting his hand rest gently on Barry's lower back, rubbing soothingly. "I know," he said quietly. "I also know there's a cabin close by here. I'll take you there. It has supplies I can make use of. Water...food. Ointment," he added, taking in the appearance of Barry's bottom. He carefully moved the younger man so that he was holding, nearly cradling, Barry, before he sped them both towards the cabin.

Barry just clung to Thawne weakly, unable to speak, not really having anything to say. The fact he had chosen to believe Thawne's words was obvious. Beyond that, he didn't know what to do or think. This was the hardest Thawne had ever spanked him, though, so he knew the older man was taking his actions seriously.

It only took mere seconds for them to reach the cabin. As soon as they were inside, Thawne headed to the small fridge and took out a bottle of water. Uncapping it, he held it to Barry's lips, encouraging the younger man to drink as he explained the next steps. "I'm going to rub some ointment into your bottom. Then I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap for the way you've been speaking to me. You know that isn't acceptable, under any circumstances."

Barry obediently drank the water and listened to Thawne's words. He whimpered softly at the promise of a mouth soaping, but didn't argue. He did know how he was or wasn't allowed to speak to Thawne...to anyone, really. He'd been rude, caustic and disrespectful. He gave a tiny nod to show he understood, a sad, sorry, repentant look on his face.

Thawne held the water to Barry's lips until the younger man had finished it entirely. Then, snagging the jar of ointment, he carried Barry through to the bedroom. Sitting down on the bed, he draped Barry over his lap once more. Then, he began to rub the ointment into the bruised, burning flesh.

Barry let out a tiny, pained sob as Thawne began to rub in the ointment, but he didn't move. He stayed exactly as he'd been placed. It was clear that, at least for the moment, any fight or argument he'd had in him was gone. He was trusting Thawne not to harm him.

Once the ointment had been entirely rubbed in, Thawne put the jar to one side and helped Barry to stand. He then led the younger man through to the bathroom and picked up the bar of soap. "Open your mouth," he directed firmly.

Barry whined softly, turning imploring eyes onto Thawne's face...but he obediently opened his mouth. It was clear the punishment had taken him completely down. Eobard was in charge and it would be a while before the younger man would feel capable of arguing or disobeying the Dom; long enough for Eobard to explain again, while Barry was more able to hear and listen. Months of being trained to obey the dominant left Barry following his training, now that he was too physically and emotionally distraught to make decisions or take care of himself.

Thawne grasped the back of Barry's neck, squeezing it, even as he put the soap into the younger man's mouth.

Barry kept his eyes on Thawne's face, enabling the older man to see every emotion in his eyes and on his face; a rule that had been established early on in their relationship, so Thawne could make sure he took care of Barry without Barry hiding from him. It was second nature to obey the rule now. Barry was broken and having difficulty focussing.

"Good boy," Thawne murmured, keeping his hand in place on Barry's neck, every so often squeezing or gently gripping. After a minute was up, he removed the soap from Barry's mouth. "You can rinse," he directed.

Blinking back more tears, Barry obeyed, rinsing just enough to get the suds out of his mouth, but not remove the flavor entirely. He'd been in the position of a mouth soaping often enough to know what was allowed. He was doing things by habit, too lost and drained and hurting to think or question. It was easier to follow his training. Hearing 'good boy' helped, though. It gave him something to focus on and work toward in his hazy confusion. Being called good was soothing when he felt anything but.

Once he'd rinsed the allowed amount, he looked back up into Eobard's face. His own eyes were glassy and dazed. He'd reached the end of his rope and was relying entirely on Eobard's mercy to protect and take care of him. He'd moved past the point of being scared...the emotion beyond him. If Eobard had been lying again...if he'd truly wanted to harm Barry, Barry couldn't work up enough energy to care. He'd given up.

Thawne gripped Barry's neck a bit firmer, a bit tighter, almost scruffing him. He used that grip to guide Barry back through to the bedroom. "You'll rest for now. When you wake up, we'll inform the others of what's happened." Hopefully, no one would realise something had occurred until Thawne could get Barry to a point of being able to reassure them. He knew the younger man wasn't anywhere close to that point yet.

Barry leaned toward Eobard, not fighting the firm grip or being led. At the words, he did whimper, looking up at the older man with a slightly scared and pleading look. Barry was instinctively obeying and keeping his eyes on Eobard, but if that hadn't changed, neither had the fact that Barry didn't like being alone...being let go...while being punished. Was Eobard going to make him lie down to sleep and leave him?

"I'm staying with you," Thawne promised, even as he guided the younger man through to the bedroom. He pulled back the blankets and settled down, gently pulling Barry down to lay on top of him. He let one hand rest on the younger man's bottom, almost possessively, as he drew the blankets over them with the other.

Barry let out a tiny hiss and sob at feeling the possessive grip on his extremely sore bottom...but he pressed closer to Eobard, snuggling close to the older man. He needed the closeness and comfort and it was instinct to look for it with his disciplinarian. Despite everything that had occurred, Barry loved Eobard.

Thawne kissed the top of Barry's head, even as he continued to gently rub and stroke the younger man's bottom. "Go to sleep," he murmured. "When you wake up, I'll rub in some more ointment. I'll feed you, too," he added, suspecting that Barry hadn't been eating as much as he should.

Sniffling, Barry nuzzled Eobard's chest in acknowledgement of the order, closing his eyes and falling into the first peaceful sleep he'd had since learning the truth.

Thawne didn't fall asleep. He stayed awake, keeping watch. He kept his hand on Barry's bottom, rubbing gently, while his other gently stroked the younger man's hair and down his back.

***

Barry didn't know how long he slept for. When he woke, he was a little more aware of what he was doing, and had the thought he should be resisting or questioning it more, but a lot more clingy and needy (and therefore ignoring the niggling doubts assailing him). He sniffled and whimpered softly and nuzzled Eobard's chest to let the older man know he was awake. He felt far too comfortable and comforted being in his ex-lover's arms to pull away, especially when he still felt extremely off-kilter. He might not be completely dropped, but he wasn't not dropped either. One look in his eyes and Thawne would know that.

Thawne had stayed awake while Barry slept, but didn't stir until he felt Barry nuzzling against his chest. "Do you need to use the bathroom before I rub some more ointment in?" He didn't necessarily expect a verbal response...but he expected Barry to let him know one way or another.

Barry thought about it for a few seconds before nodding his head yes. He waited, though, not moving from where Thawne had put him. He was reluctant to do anything without Thawne's permission or even help, nervous that if he did anything without permission or on his own that Thawne would stop with the hands-on care.

Thawne carefully stood them both up and took Barry's hand, leading him through to the bathroom. He didn't think about it, just staying close to the younger man...not leaving Barry's side for even a second.

Barry thought nothing of taking care of his needs while Thawne stood there watching. The older man was taking care of him at the moment. This was just another layer to that care. Once finished, he cleaned up and washed his hands, every so often glancing toward Eobard, as if to be certain he was still there. The clingy neediness wasn't easing, even after the nap.

Thawne stayed where he could easily see Barry. Once the younger man finished washing his hands, Thawne reached out to lead Barry by the hand once more, going back into the bedroom. Sitting on the bed once more, he guided Barry across his lap and picked up the jar of ointment once more.

Barry tensed up slightly, knowing that it was going to hurt before it felt better, but he held still. He was through fighting Thawne, completely in a submissive mindset. He hadn't spoken yet; his throat sore as well and there wasn't really a reason to. Thawne knew all his little tells and looks. As long as Barry continued to look into his Dom's eyes, leaving himself vulnerable for Eobard to read, he didn't need a voice.

Thawne gently rubbed Barry's lower back with one hand. With his other hand, he began to rub the ointment into Barry's bottom and upper thighs. "I know it hurts, but the ointment will help you to feel better," he soothed. "I won't leave you alone. Not again." He continued speaking as he carried on rubbing the ointment in. "I didn't want to leave you before, even if it was emotionally rather than physically. But I knew things would change once the truth came out. I'd prepared myself for that. Killing even one person to save the world wasn't the first path I tried...it wasn't even in the first paths I tried. I'm not making excuses, but I hope you might be able to understand eventually that I did what was necessary."

Barry sniffled, unable to verbally respond. He understood Thawne believed what he said; and listening to the man's explanations, it was probably exactly as he said. It didn't make it easier, though. He'd taken his mother's killer as a lover. As his Dom. And he had lied about it for over their entire relationship. Now Barry was faced with parsing his feelings of love, need, and belief with the feelings of betrayal, lost trust, and loyalty toward his dead mother. 

He held still as Thawne cared for him...but tears ran down his face. He wanted to let go of his anger and just trust the man he never stopped loving. But doing so felt like he was betraying the memory of his mother and the father who had been jailed for her death.

Finishing rubbing the ointment into Barry's backside, Thawne helped him up...and then saw the tears. Retrieving some tissue, he carefully wiped at Barry's wet cheeks. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. He hadn't voiced an apology before, believing it would be easier for Barry to hate him and blame him. But he'd tried that path and it had become clear that Barry would self-destruct if Thawne did nothing.

And Thawne loved Barry. He'd tried not to; he'd tried to keep their relationship as platonic as possible. But he'd failed. And the pain the younger man was suffering now was his fault...on his shoulders.

There was nothing else he could do but keep on taking care of Barry. And answer any questions the younger man might put voice to. With that thought in mind, he guided Barry into the small kitchen so that he could prepare food.

Barry managed to stop crying as he followed Thawne quietly. He was still completely naked; thankful for that, really, as the thought of wearing pants on his sore bottom was cringeworthy. Biting his lip, he looked into Eobard's eyes...clearly asking where he should stand. The gratitude that Thawne wasn't leaving him floundering in his needy state was also clear.

Thawne let his hand move to Barry's neck and squeezed gently, guiding the younger man to one corner of the kitchen. He turned Barry to face it, letting his hand linger on Barry's neck for a few more moments before he moved over to start cooking them breakfast.

Barry focused on the corner, listening to Thawne moving behind him. He wasn't even tempted to turn around. It was so easy to fall back into a mindset where he obeyed, and he wanted to hear the words 'good boy' again. It was helping him, submitting...obeying...listening to Thawne's explanation. He pushed the doubts about how wise it was to trust him, or the feelings of how wrong it was to just forgive what he did. He needed his Dom right now, and that need superseded all else.

"Good boy," Thawne murmured, at the fact that Barry was staying where he was put and not moving, or turning round. He finished preparing the food and then put it on plates onto the table. He also retrieved a cushion.

Gently grasping Barry's neck once more, Thawne drew the younger man out of the corner and over to the table. He sat down, placing the cushion on his lap, and then carefully settled Barry onto his lap, sitting on the cushion.

Barry let out a tiny squeak as he sat on his very sore bottom, but didn't try to get up. "I was very naughty..." he whispered sadly, finally addressing the reason his bottom hurt.

Thawne brushed a gentle, affectionate kiss against Barry's shoulder. "You did everything you knew would get you into trouble with me. But just like each and every time I've punished you, there's a clean slate. You're forgiven." He circled his arm around Barry's waist possessively and began to feed the younger man.

Barry ate what he was given without complaint. His appetite wasn't quite as strong with his powers suppressed, and his emotions had dulled his appetite as well, but he forced himself to eat everything Eobard fed to him.

"Good boy," Thawne whispered, his fingers ghosting over Barry's hip. "You're being very good for me." His fingers gently rubbed the fronts of Barry's thighs without thinking about it, the possessive touches coming naturally now that he was no longer forcing himself to hold back.

Barry gave a tiny little smile at the praise, eating a bit more enthusiastically when he realized his Master was happy with him. Soon, his plate was empty, so he sat quietly and waited for Eobard to eat his own food. Thawne's possessive touch was drawing him back emotionally. He would think about why he shouldn't later. At the moment, he needed too much. He slanted his head, exposing his throat in an age old show of submission.

In response to Barry exposing his throat, Thawne kissed him there. Then, he nipped lightly with his teeth...holding back, rather than sucking or biting enough to leave a mark behind. He hadn't hesitated in the past to leave marks on Barry's skin. Even the ones that didn't heal before others saw them could be easily explained away...or covered up by the younger man's clothing. Once he'd finished his own food, his fingers continued to stroke and squeeze the fronts of Barry's thighs, the touches possessive, but not really sexual in nature.

Barry relaxed further at the kiss. He could tell the possessiveness wasn't sexual. He was relieved, slightly; his bottom hurt so much, he didn't think he could enjoy being claimed. But still... "Yours?" he asked, in a hesitant, needy, hopeful, and very young voice.

"Mine." Thawne whispered the word against Barry's neck, against his skin, and couldn't help but let his teeth graze against the pulse point. He closed his eyes and pulled Barry closer against him, thinking that he should be strong enough to let the younger man go...but he'd tried that once already, and it had nearly resulted in Barry destroying himself. He couldn't put either of them through that again.

"...Good..." Barry whispered, satisfied at the response. He kept his neck exposed, shivering at the kissing and teeth on his pulse. He knew he and Thawne truly needed to talk. But right now, what he needed most was to be under his Dom's loving control and not have to make any choices for a while. The choices he'd been making since being wrenched away from Thawne had not been terribly good.

Thawne's hands slid gently over Barry's thighs and hips, stroking and squeezing every so often. He continued to kiss and gently nip at Barry's neck, trailing the kisses up the younger man's face until he could tenderly kiss Barry's lips...a bit hesitantly, as he wasn't completely sure Barry would accept that.

Barry might second guess himself later, when he was more stable, but at that moment, he needed too much. He pressed into the kiss, opening his mouth in offering. He was Eobard's, and he'd been out of his master's hands for too long.

Thawne kissed him, deeply and tenderly, although he didn't force anything that might seem sexual. When he pulled back so that they could both breathe, he whispered softly, "I still love you. I never stopped."

"I love you too... I tried not to. I thought I shouldn't... But I can't stop..." Barry admitted. "I still love you and want to be yours," he whispered.

"How I felt about you...becoming your lover and your Dom...that was never a lie," Thawne whispered. "It was never what I planned for, but that doesn't make how I feel about you any less true."

Barry quivered at the words, tears springing to his eyes again. "I could forgive everything you did to me... I want to forgive you for mom. I'm just so confused all the time now... And scared...and...and was acting out..." he admitted softly. "What you spanked me for...that wasn't the only 'forbidden' things I've done."

Thawne wrapped his arms a bit tighter around Barry's waist. "What else have you done?" he asked softly.

Barry hid his face against Thawne's shoulder and immediately began to confess every naughty thing he'd done in a misbegotten effort to prove to himself he didn't still love his Dom. He was crying again by the end of the very long listing, knowing he was due more punishment and knowing he couldn't handle it.

Thawne let his fingers run gently through Barry's hair, even as he listened to everything the younger man told him. When he finished, Thawne said quietly, "I'm not going to spank you again. I spanked you thoroughly and I know you're still bruised and sore. You are going to be grounded. And you're going to have corner time. And this isn't a punishment, but we're going to look at a professional for you to talk to about this."

Barry calmed as Thawne told him what would be done. His master was taking care of him; and he was being merciful, considering how much Barry had misbehaved. "Yessir," he sniffled, snuggling as close as possible. "How will I be grounded?" he asked in a small voice; not trying to argue, but if Barry returned to work as he needed to eventually, Thawne would either have to remain far away from Barry, or be locked up in Star Labs again. (Unless Barry could convince the others to forgive his lover). Neither option made enforcing a grounding easy. Plus, Barry didn't like either option at all.

Stroking his hands down Barry's arms, Thawne asked quietly, "Doesn't Waller have the members of her Suicide Squad on an island? With your speed, you could easily run to and from the island. You'd come straight to me as soon as your work day finished...and if there was anything the Flash needed to do? You'd let me know as soon as you could."

"I don't trust Waller..." Barry said hesitantly. "She's as bad as some of the people she's imprisoned. Only difference is, she's working for the government instead of against them...." He thought about it. "I trust Flag, though. He seemed decent enough. Maybe we could talk to him and see what he thinks? If he thinks it would be dangerous for you or not? I don't want Waller to force you into her squad...."

Thawne nodded. "We can talk to Flag," he agreed. "He might have an idea we haven't thought of." He kissed Barry's neck and moved his hand to gently grip and scruff the younger man's neck.

Barry smiled at the agreement to what he'd said. He kept his neck open and vulnerable. It helped him stay calm and feel special, that his well-being was in Thawne's hands. The gentle kissing felt good and helped him feel cherished, as it was loving and possessive at the same time. "...Master?" he whispered hesitantly, not certain if he was allowed to call Thawne that anymore. If he should call him that.

"What is it?" Thawne asked softly, continuing to gently squeeze the younger man's neck. He continued to gently kiss along Barry's neck; not sucking or licking, just giving affection for affection's sake.

"When my bottom is finally healed...will you make me yours again?" Barry bit his lip and flushed red as he asked. It felt almost impertinent. But he was still feeling confused and adrift and maybe...if he was pulled completely back to his master...that would go away.

"If that's what you want," Thawne said softly. "I'll take you. I'll claim you. I'll make sure you feel nothing but me for as long as possible."

"I want to be yours again...have felt all wrong and...disconnected...ever since..." Barry swallowed hard.

Thawne nodded and nuzzled against Barry's neck before kissing it again. "Then as soon as your bottom is healed, I will take you. Claim you," he promised.

Barry melted against Thawne at the promise. "...Thank you, sir...thank you for not leaving me..." He snuggled as close as he could, while still leaving his neck open and vulnerable.

"I couldn't leave you," Thawne whispered. "I can't leave you. You're far too important to me. You mean far too much to me."

"I'm sorry I was naughty... sorry I got so angry I... I deliberately did what I knew you wouldn't want..." Barry whispered.

"You weren't wrong to be angry," Thawne said quietly. "But you were wrong in your responses to it. If I had wanted you dead, trying to take your revenge in that way would have ended with you dead."

Barry sniffled. "I know..." he said softly. "... I knew then too. Didn't care. Think part of me hoped if you really wanted me dead, you'd just finish me off," he admitted.

"That isn't okay," Thawne said firmly. "Even if I had wanted you dead...even if I'd turned against you...you still had the others. Cisco, Caitlin...what would they have done if you'd managed to get yourself killed?"

"They would have been hurt..." Barry said, in a tiny voice. "...Wasn't thinking clear. Wasn't thinking of anyone else. Don't want to die now...but I wasn't thinking right then..."

"I could see that. I'm glad you're thinking clearly now. But any similar behaviour will get you a worse spanking than the one I've just given you," Thawne said seriously, possessively squeezing one hip.

Barry nodded, snuggling close. He didn't whine or whimper or attempt to change Thawne's mind about that. "I'd deserve it," he whispered instead, accepting that if he deliberately did something that could get him killed, he wouldn't be able to sit for several days after. Thawne would be able to make certain he felt the punishment as long as he felt necessary, with the inhibitor.

Kissing the side of Barry's neck, Thawne murmured, "But you are my good boy now...even if you are grounded for the forseeable future. But that really means you'll be staying close to me, where I can keep watch over you."

"I can call in to my job...take some vacation time. Till we are able to talk to Flag and set things up there...?" Barry asked quietly. He wouldn't be doing anything without his master's approval.

Thawne nodded. "I'm glad you thought of making that call. Means I don't have to tell you to." He let his fingers brush over Barry's hips, stroking gently over his stomach.

Barry shivered at the touch, pressing into it and moaning softly. His member twitched and began to fill as he became aroused. "When should I call, sir?" he asked breathlessly. He'd be perfectly happy having Thawne claim him in that very moment, even if his bottom still hurt. But he wasn't going to ask for anything. He was still being punished and while he'd accept what he was offered and given, he wouldn't make requests.

"You should do it now." Thawne whispered the words into Barry's neck. "While you're sitting on my lap, pressed into me, where I can feel every bit of you." He didn't mention gently tormenting Barry while his young sub was on the phone. The idea did have an appeal, but it also might make things difficult for the man he loved, so he'd refrain. Mostly.

"Yessir..." Barry blindly reached for his cell phone that Thawne had placed on the end table near where they were sat. He only shifted enough to see the contact as he pressed to connect a call and then he was sat with his head slanted, so Thawne could kiss and suck on his neck, while he attempted to arrange to take all his time off that he had coming.

Responding to Barry shifting, Thawne began to suck on and kiss Barry's neck. He stopped holding back from marking the younger man, leaving love bites where he sucked on and gently nipped the skin. His hands stroked over Barry's stomach and hips, squeezing the flesh every so often.

Barry didn't know how he kept his voice from betraying him as he made the arrangements. For all he knew, he didn't and the captain was just being kind to him by pretending he didn't hear the arousal in Barry's voice. By the time he hung up, Barry had four weeks off from work (apparently, he had done so much overtime, he had time saved up from the year before as well and the captain insisted he take it), and a raging hard-on. As soon as the call was disconnected, he whined softly with need. He hadn't been given permission to move or do anything, after all.

Thawne gave a quiet grunt of satisfaction at the reactions he was getting from Barry...at the arousal his sub was exhibiting. "I don't want you to release. Not until I give you permission." The words were a low growl against Barry's skin.

"Y... yessir... " Barry quivered. He didn't know if he could succeed at the order. His erection was as full and hard as it could get, precum pooling at his tip. He was going to do his best for his master, though. He held still, in place, so Thawne could continue working on his neck. He left himself open and vulnerable, so the older man could touch and claim anywhere else on his body he wanted. His bottom still hurt a great deal, but when the arousal kicked in, it almost felt pleasant and contributed to turning him on even further; it was a sign that he belonged to Eobard, after all, and that was what he needed most of all: to belong to his older lover.

"Good boy," Thawne murmured. He continued to kiss and mark Barry's neck, even as he moved his hands up towards the younger man's nipples. He began to twist, pinch and tweak them...quickly turning them into hard, sensitive nubs.

Barry let out tiny huffs of pleasured pain at the nipple stimulation, his member twitching. The huffs almost sounded like sobs. His body shivered with the attempt not to release.

"You're being so very good for me," Thawne whispered, continuing the stimulation to Barry's nipples and the sucking, biting and kissing attention to his neck. His own member was stirring with arousal, but he ignored it. This was about claiming Barry once more...drawing his sub fully back to him.

"...M... need to be good for you..." Barry admitted, with a shaky breath. "...Need to belong to you...missed you so much..." he admitted as well. His nipples were aching nubs, aching almost as much as his member was. He couldn't help it. He began to squirm slightly on Eobard's lap, causing his punished bottom to begin to sting and ache anew. Only, instead of distressing him, it made his need to release increase even more. He let out a tiny sob of need.

"You're mine." Thawne whispered the words against Barry's neck. "You belong to me. I thought it was the right thing to let you hate me...to be angry with me. But I know that you need me, so I won't leave you. No matter what happens," he promised, his voice low and intense.

"... Stay with me and not let me go..." Barry breathed out in relief, even as his voice became tighter with the effort not to release.

"Never." Thawne's voice was hoarse with his emotion...with his need and desire and love for Barry. His fingers moved down to Barry's member and he gripped it firmly as he directed, "Let go now."

Feeling Thawne's tight grip around his shaft at the moment his master told him to release was all it took. Barry's body went into spasms as his seed shot out of him in rapid spurts, drenching Thawne's hand and Barry's thighs. It took several long moments before the spasms ended and the last tiny bit of his release spurted out. By the time it was done, Barry was in need of a bath and was slumped against Eobard with an exhausted, blissed look on his face. Even his very sore bottom couldn't break through the euphoric feelings that releasing for his master had given him.

Thawne gave a grunt of satisfaction at seeing and feeling Barry's release. He gently kissed Barry's shoulder and stood, lifting his sub into his arms. "I'm going to give you a bath," he murmured. "Then we'll go back to bed and lay down together for a while."

"Okay..." Barry said, in a small, but happy voice, letting his head rest on Thawne's shoulder and nuzzling. "Do you want to cum?" he asked softly, nuzzling again.

Kissing his head, Thawne murmured, "I wanted to take care of you. We can take care of mutual pleasure later." He carried Barry through to the bathroom and began to run the bath, not letting go of his lover even for a second.

Barry leaned into the kiss, kissing Thawne's shoulder. "You take care of me so good..." he whispered. "Love you so much...."

"I love you too. More than I ever thought possible." Thawne carefully set Barry into the bath, after it was full and making sure that the temperature was comfortable enough. Then, he stripped his own clothes off so that he could get into the bath with Barry and start washing his younger mate.

Barry relaxed back against his lover, enjoying the feel of skin-to-skin contact and Eobard gently bathing him. He didn't rouse from it, though. Most of his energy had already been expended. He was malleable and cooperative, content to let Thawne do whatever he wanted.

"Good boy," Thawne whispered, gently kissing Barry's ear as he leisurely washed the younger man. It had been a long time...too long...since he'd been able to take care of his lover like this. He was making the most of it.

"Your good boy..." Barry said, in a half-dozy state. There was no danger of drowning or anything, but he was very relaxed.

Thawne took his time, enjoying the closeness and the skin-on-skin contact with his lover. Finally, though, it was time to get out and he carefully got them both out. Grabbing a towel, he began to dry Barry off...going very gently over his sub's sore bottom.

Barry held still as he was being dried, only whimpering slightly when Thawne toweled his bottom. He gave his lover a sweet smile when Eobard looked at his face. He couldn't regret the pain. Being punished so harshly had brought him and Thawne back together again; had given him back to his master. And he needed that more than he needed his bottom not to hurt.

Once they were both dried off, Thawne cupped Barry's face in his hand and kissed him tenderly. "After we've rested, we'll talk about whether it's a good idea to take the device off yet or not," he murmured. Drawing Barry in close, he led his lover into the bedroom.

Barry nodded wordlessly to Thawne's words. He didn't think they'd need to talk about it. As far as he was concerned, Eobard was in charge of when he'd get his speed back. He trusted his master to make the right decision on when to remove the device. He followed meekly behind, letting Thawne lead him to the bed.

Thawne led Barry to the bed and settled them both comfortably. He wrapped his arms around Barry and tugged his younger lover in close, letting his hand rest on Barry's bottom, possessively rubbing.

Barry shivered at the rubbing, but was tired enough not to become roused by it. It soothed him to sleep, even if it stung.

"I love you," Thawne whispered, cuddling his mate close. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep as well, finally feeling at peace in a way he hadn't experienced since his secret had come out.

The End