Let’s Get Past This

Summary: Tony agrees to see Bucky
Warning(s): Spoilers up to and including Captain America: Civil War; explicit sexual content; references to violence and canon character death; bondage
Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

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“I’m sorry, Tony.”

Tony stood next to his car, under the bridge, hands in his pockets and leaning against the driver’s door. To a casual observer, he looked relaxed. At ease. Like he’d just chosen to take a casual drive.

In reality, tension rippled through him. He couldn’t look at the other man. Couldn’t bring himself to even acknowledge Bucky’s presence. He’d agreed to come here…but that was as far as it went. He could barely bring himself even to look at the other man. The soldier. The assassin who’d taken his parents away from him.

There was movement and Tony saw Bucky approach in his peripheral vision. His body grew tense as adrenaline coursed through him, triggering the flight or fight urge.

Bucky halted his approach. Stood only feet from Tony and cleared his throat before saying, quietly, “Steve doesn’t know that I’m here.”

In spite of himself, Tony raised his eyes to Bucky’s face, Looked at the other man before saying quietly, “He wouldn’t have agreed to you coming here if he had known.”

“He doesn’t feel good about what happened either, Tony.” Bucky took half a step closer. “Tony, I….”

“Don’t.” Tony shook his head, taking a step back. “I know what you’re going to say. You already said it. And….” He took a deep breath. “I know, Bucky. I know you’re sorry. I even know that it wasn’t your fault. At least, I know that logically,” he added. “But I can’t just forget. I can’t just go back to the way things were before between us.” His voice dropped even lower. “If I could, it would be a betrayal of her. Of her memory.”

Bucky closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were damp. Shimmered with tears he refused to let fall. “Howard was my friend. Whatever you think of me, believe me, it’s nothing compared to what I think of myself.” He paused. Cleared his throat. Asked, in an almost hesitant tone, “What if I put myself into your hands? Gave you complete control? Would that help? If you could take charge of the Soldier?”

Tony hesitated. His first thought was to say no. How could that be of any help? He even opened his mouth, preparing to give voice to the refusal.

And then he looked, really looked, at Bucky.

The other man stood there quietly, his hand tucked into his pocket, his mechanical arm resting at his side. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face was pale and drawn. He looked about as rough as Tony felt.

Maybe this could help both of them.

“Yeah.” Tony’s voice came out in an uncertain whisper. He cleared his throat and sounded much more certain as he repeated, “Yeah. Okay.” He jerked his head towards the car. “Get in.”

Bucky moved with an almost feline grace, stepping round to the passenger side door, opening it and getting in.

Tony got in the driver’s side and closed the door, then buckled himself in and began driving.

Halfway back to the tower, Tony glanced at Bucky and asked, “Safeword?”

“I don’t need one.” Bucky stared out of the window, watching the passing scenery. “I don’t play games. If I need something to stop, I’ll say so. And I trust you to listen and stop if I do.”

Tony nodded and drove the rest of the way to the tower in silence. He didn’t ask Bucky for hard limits or for what the other man might be uncomfortable with. He knew enough about the other man’s history that he was pretty sure he knew what to avoid; and he trusted Bucky’s promise to put voice to anything he didn’t want.

Reaching the tower, Tony got out of the car and waited for Bucky to join him before he stepped inside and headed immediately to the elevator, pressing the button for the penthouse level once they were inside.

The ride to the top floor was made in silence. When the elevator opened, Tony stepped out. He didn’t look back over his shoulder; didn’t need to watch Bucky follow him to know he was. But he didn’t so much as glance at the soldier as he walked through to the bedroom and opened the closet, taking out a box he hadn’t used in a very long time.

“You’re already prepared for this.”

Tony set the box on the bed and turned to wave Bucky into the room. “I was in the scene for a while. Close the door,” he added.

Bucky did so, having stepped into the room. He walked over to the bed, stood next to it and asked, “Where do you want me?”

Tony took a pair of handcuffs out of the box. They were metal and fairly strong, but he knew they wouldn’t hold Bucky if the soldier didn’t want to be held. He turned to look at Bucky, raking his eyes over the other man. “Strip. Slow. I want to watch.”

Bucky didn’t protest. His face didn’t change. He took a step away from the bed, giving himself more room, and then began to slowly strip himself of his clothes.

Tony watched. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen Bucky naked, but it was the first time the soldier was stripping because Tony had asked him to. Had told him to. He didn’t look away, didn’t even blink, until Bucky stood there, naked, arms at his sides…not hiding anything. His eyes swept over the soldier’s body, taking in the scars that covered it. A whole roadmap of them…. He reached out, as if to touch, but then let his hand drop to his side. “Lie on your back on the bed. Hold your hands above your head,” he ordered.

Bucky didn’t question. He didn’t speak. Fully naked and fully vulnerable, he stretched out on the bed and held his hands up above his head, crossing them at the wrist and waiting, his eyes fixed on Tony.

Tony moved and placed the cuffs on Bucky’s wrists, making sure they were secure but not tight enough to be painful. He then ran his hand down Bucky’s chest, tracing the outline of one scar that stretched from below his breast to his naval. There were other scars, too: some from what looked like weapons, others that had bite marks. Fangs, maybe. Tony traced one with his fingertips, then leaned forward and kissed one of the scars that showed on the skin below one nipple.

Bucky’s groan was long and drawn out when Tony ran his tongue along the raised edges of the scar. When Tony engulfed one nipple inside his mouth, the soldier’s hips bucked and Bucky choked out a gasping, “Please.”

Tony pulled back and looked into the other man’s eyes, then leaned forward and pressed his lips against Bucky’s, kissing him hard, before pulling back to trail a row of kisses along his jaw. “I want you to lie still and take whatever I do to you, Bucky,” he murmured. “You’re giving me control. You don’t get to take it back.”

A long, whimpering sound escaped Bucky’s ips, but he stayed still, body falling limp against the mattress, turning his face towards the ceiling.

“Good,” Tony murmured, kissing his lips again before returning his mouth to the other man’s nipples, taking one into his mouth once more. He felt Bucky’s body stiffen and tremble under his and he moved his hands towards the soldier’s hips, grasping them and keeping Bucky’s whole body steady. He sucked and nipped at the nipple he held in his mouth, turning it into a hard, pebbled nub and then released it. He licked his way to the opposite nipple and then wrapped his lips around it as well, reducing it to the same state as the first.

“Tony, please,” Bucky gasped out.

Tony released one of Bucky’s hips and slid his hand down low, between the soldier’s legs. He grasped hold of the other man’s member, squeezing it gently, feeling the erection grow and form under his palm.

Releasing the erection, Tony levered himself up, bracing a hand on either side of the mattress, on either side of Bucky’s head. He leaned forward and kissed Bucky, tenderly and deeply, before taking hold of his erection again.

“Tony,” Bucky whispered, when the kiss was broken. “You’re not letting me do anything for you. Tell me what you want me to do for you.”

“Nothing,” Tony answered. “I don’t want you to do anything for me, Bucky. Your only job here is to let me do what I want to you.”

“But it doesn’t hurt,” Bucky whispered. “Shouldn’t it hurt?”

Tony winced at the words and stretched out next to Bucky. He wrapped his arms around the soldier and nuzzled into Bucky’s neck. “I don’t want to hurt you, Bucky,” he whispered.

“Why not?” Bucky’s voice came out in a hoarse whisper. “I hurt you.”

“That wasn’t your fault.” Tony reached up and he removed the cuffs from Bucky’s wrists. Felt the other man embrace him in return. “I don’t want to take control of you,” he admitted in a low voice. “I just want to be with you.”

Bucky’s breath came out in a quiet sigh and he kissed Tony’s hair. “Yeah. I want that too,” he whispered.

Tony simply wrapped his arms tight around Bucky in return and closed his eyes. For the first time since he’d learned the truth…he thought they might be able to get past this.

The End