Let Me Help You

Summary: Written for TheCarlySutra as part of the FandomGiftBox challenge. Ray returns from an undercover mission. He needs his husband
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the movie Thunderheart; some descriptions of a wound being treated
Pairing: Walter Crow Horse/Ray Levoi

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He’d been away from Walter for too long. Far too long.

Ray sat in the car outside their house and tried hard to gather up his courage to unbuckle his seatbelt. To get out of the car. To force himself to walk up the path to the front door. And then…what? He had the keys still, but could he really just unlock the door and walk into the house? Like he still belonged there?

It had been two weeks. Two weeks of intense undercover work. Two weeks of being apart from Walter. Two weeks where he’d had to do things that had made him feel guilty. He wasn’t sure if he could return to his husband. If he even deserved to return to his husband.

As he stared at the front door, almost hoping someone else would come along and make the decision for him, Ray rubbed absently at his arm, where he’d thrown a bandage over a deep graze, almost haphazardly. Rubbing the spot sent sharp jolts of pain through him, but he didn’t care about that. The physical wound was nothing compared to how much his heart hurt.

As Ray watched the front door, it began to open. He jumped, letting out a short, sharp cry as his nails dug into the tender wound on his arm. That was the only reason he didn’t put the car into gear and drive away as Walter headed down the path towards him.

At least, that’s what he told himself. And then Walter was standing by the car. Their eyes met and then Ray, ever so slowly, reached out to unlock the door. But he couldn’t force himself to take that final step.

There was no hesitation on Walter’s face. He reached out and he pulled the door open. Then, he reached in, unbuckled Ray’s seatbelt, pulled him out of the car and into a tight embrace.

Ray took in a deep, almost shuddering breath and wrapped his arms around Walter just as tight in return. He pressed so close, it was like he wanted to meld his body to his husband’s. All thoughts of fleeing and running away fled from his mind. All he could do was cling on to Walter, breathing in his husband’s scent and allowing it to calm and settle him.

He had no idea how long they stood there like that, embracing in front of the house. Ray drew in a deep breath, preparing to apologise, only to find his eyes beginning to water. He buried his face in Walter’s shoulder, choking on first one sob and then another.

Walter took all of his weight, all but carrying him into the house and closing the door behind them. He led Ray through to the main room and over to the couch, taking a seat and pulling Ray down onto his lap.

Blinking back the tears that were still falling, Ray let himself curl into his husband, holding onto Walter’s shirt blindly. “I’m sorry.” He managed to force the two words out before his voice refused to work.

“Look at me, Ray.”

Responding to the firm direction in Walter’s voice, Ray raised his head, forcing himself to make eye contact with the other man.

Walter’s hand cupped Ray’s cheek, fitting perfectly as if their bodies had been made to fit together. “We talked about this,” he murmured. “We discussed this before you left. That you might have to do things you wouldn’t choose to do. I told you I accepted that and that I’d wait for you.” His hand slid down to Ray’s arm, running his fingers over the bandage, careful not to press. “You’re bleeding through this. What happened?”

Ray looked down at his bandaged arm and chewed his lower lip. “I got a deep graze right when the sting went down,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to wait. I just threw on a bandage and then drove straight here.”

“Where you then decided to sit outside and wait for me to come and get you.” Walter carefully moved Ray off his lap, settling him on the couch. He grabbed the first aid kit from the table and opened it, taking out a pair of tweezers that he used to carefully pull the bandage free.

Ray bit his lip to keep from crying out as the bandage pulled at his wound. Finally, though, it was free. Walter carefully inspected the wound and then began to clean it out, holding Ray’s arm still and steady. “This is deep enough to need stitches.”

Ray was shaking his head almost before Walter finished speaking. “I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

“Then I’ll take care of it.” Walter stood up. “I’m going to wash my hands. I won’t be long. I’ll just be in the kitchen.”

Ray nodded and sat back on the couch as his husband left the room. A few seconds later, he heard the sound of running water and then Walter was walking back into the living room. He sat down next to Ray and took hold of his arm, holding it carefully as he began to stitch up the wound.

It hurt, but Ray made himself stay still. The pain was to help him and he was being touched by his husband, so it was bearable.

The stitches were neat and tidy. And when Walter was done, he carefully wiped away the blood spots that had gathered on Ray’s skin and then drew him into another tight, firm hug. “Is that the only place you were injured?” he murmured into his ear.

Ray shivered at feeling Walter’s warm breath ghost over his sensitive skin. “Physically,” he whispered back, letting his head drop against Walter’s neck.

Walter’s hands slid down Ray’s back, causing him to arch back into the touch. He let out a soft, whimpering sound and kissed his husband’s neck. “I missed you so much,” he blurted out.

Pulling back enough to look into Ray’s eyes, Walter pressed forward and kissed him deeply, sliding his hand round the back of Ray’s head. When he spoke, his lips moved against Ray’s. “I missed you too. Every day, I checked out of the window to see if you were coming back to me.” He stroked his hand through Ray’s hair, kissing him again before asking, “So why were you prepared to drive right back out of here?”

Ray squirmed and looked down at his hands, biting his lip once more.

Walter reached out and ran his thumb across Ray’s bottom lip. “No biting.” There was a note of tenderness in his voice, underneath the sternness.

Obediently, Ray released his lip. He looked down, unable to keep making eye contact with his husband. He hunched his shoulders in on himself and stared down at his arms, resisting the urge to start picking at the stitches. “I was ashamed,” he admitted, his voice low. “I had to do a…lot of things. Things I never would have done normally.” Feeling sick to his stomach, he chanced a look at Walter’s face. “I don’t…even know how to tell you. I don’t want to tell you,” he admitted, his voice hoarse.

Walter reached out and cupped Ray’s face in his hands, encouraging him to look at him. “I don’t need to know any more than you need to tell me,” he said seriously. “It doesn’t matter to me what you’ve done, Ray. The only thing that concerns me is how this has affected you.”

Ray closed his eyes, turning his face slightly to kiss Walter’s hand. “Will you spank me?” he asked suddenly.

Walter’s thumb stroked over Ray’s lower lip once more and then replaced his thumb with his lips, pressing deep and hard.

By the time Walter pulled back from the kiss, Ray was dismayed to realise there were tears in his eyes once more. He let out a choked sob as his husband drew him over his lap, pulling a cushion over and positioning it under Ray’s injured arm.

“This isn’t about punishment, Ray.” As he spoke, Walter rubbed his lower back, massaging the tense muscles. When Ray finally began to relax, Walter tugged his pants down, following them with his underwear, and then brought his hand down in a firm smack at the crest of Ray’s bottom.

Ray clenched his teeth, trying not to let a whimper escape. That self-control lasted right up until Walter swatted his thighs and then he let out a choking gasp.

“Don’t try to hold it in, Ray,” Walter encouraged gently. “Let it out. You’re safe here. I love you. You’re home.”

The smacks weren’t unbearably hard, although after two full circuits, Ray’s bottom was beginning to feel sensitive. But it was Walter’s words that broke him. He let out a quiet sob and once one came out, it was quickly followed by more.

After a third circuit of smacks, Ray slumped limply over Walter’s lap and began to sob without pausing through his tears.

Walter rubbed his back for a few moments more and then carefully pulled Ray’s clothing into place. Helping him up, he cuddled Ray on his lap again, stroking through his hair and down over his back.

It didn’t take long for Ray’s tears to die down, but even after he stopped crying, he still clung onto Walter, nuzzling into his husband’s shirt. “I’m home,” he whispered.

The End