Folly

Summary: Tag to Star Trek V. Spock betrayed Kirk. Now they're dealing with it
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the Star Trek movies and series up until and including Star Trek V; some mentions of violence
Author's Note: Fifth in the Twenty Fics series

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It was hard to put his finger on exactly what it was.

They'd returned to shore leave; which was just as well since, as far as Kirk was concerned, his crew had more than earned it.

The problem was Spock.

Kirk had assumed him, Spock and Bones would return to their vacation. For all Spock had assumed he didn't know what he was doing with the rock climbing, Kirk had been having fun with the two people he considered his closest friends. But it was different now.

It probably wouldn't be obvious to anyone other than Kirk. He didn't think it was with false modesty he thought he was probably the closest to the Vulcan. And up until now, he'd thought Spock felt the same about him.

But right now, Kirk was sitting alone, staring into the remnants of the fire he, Bones and Spock had sat round... before they'd been called away on a mission; before Kirk had discovered Spock had a brother... only for his friend to lose his brother just a short time after finding him.

"You look like someone's died. Again."

Kirk looked up as Bones sat next to him. "I'm surprised to see you here. I thought for sure you'd stay on the other side of the planet... just in case we're conscripted back into service again."

Bones snorted softly. "I'm tired of seeing you and Spock moping around like this."

Kirk raised his eyebrows. "Moping around?"

"The Vulcan equivalent, at least. Damnit, Jim. The two of you are tearing yourselves apart like this... and if you don't deal with it before shore leave's over, all of the crew are going to be affected."

"It's not my fault!" Kirk couldn't stop the defensive note that crept into his voice. "Spock's the one who's avoiding me!"

"And why do you think that is?" Bones' tone suggested he thought Kirk was fully aware of the reason why.

Kirk looked away, unable to hold eye contact with his friend. "How am I supposed to know what goes through a Vulcan's mind?"

"Jim." Bones waited for Kirk to look at him. "I'm going to tell you to do what you already know. Talk to him."

Bones was right. Kirk knew that. He didn't know what to say to Spock, though. He'd accused the Vulcan of betraying the ship... of betraying him. He knew why Spock hadn't been able to bring himself to kill Sybok. Spock was his brother in every way that mattered... and faced with a similar situation (faced with the death of his brother once already), Kirk knew he would never have taken that step.

Maybe the biggest problem was with him, because he didn't know what to say to Spock. In a normal situation, he'd never had a problem talking to his friend, but the whole situation with Sybok had been all kinds of wrong. And Kirk knew that if he was feeling torn up about it, Spock had to be feeling so much worse.

"I'm going to talk to him," Kirk muttered, standing up.

"You do that. I'll stay here... guard this place."

"Yes. I'm sure that's exactly what you're going to do." Kirk smiled and then walked away from the clearing. He didn't need to ask Bones where Spock was. If he couldn't find his Vulcan friend without help, he had more problems than the obvious.

It didn't take long for Kirk to reach the mountain he'd been climbing earlier. He reached the foot of it in time to see Spock climbing down, looking none the worse for wear... though he was still wearing his hover shoes.

"What are you doing, Spock?"

"I was trying to see what you find so fascinating about this activity."

Kirk nodded, glancing at the mountain. "Did you learn anything?"

"I am not sure I will understand why you enjoy it so much."

"How are you feeling, Spock?"

"Do you mean right now?"

"I know Vulcans don't show their emotions," Kirk said. "But I also know you do feel them. And you lost your brother. I know I wasn't exactly sympathetic about it at the time, but... if you need to talk about it. I'm here for you. I hope you know that."

"I appreciate that, Jim." Spock paused, as if he wasn't sure whether to continue or not, but then carried on. "Sybok is not what concerns me. I have been through death and I know it is nothing to fear. His loss saddens me, that is true. But not as much as the thought I might have lost your friendship."

Kirk blinked, first feeling taken aback... and then feeling guilty. "You haven't lost my friendship, Spock."

"I acted against the best interests of the Enterprise and her Captain," Spock said. "I did not have to shoot my brother. I could have incapacitated him some other way. You were right when you accused me of betraying you."

"No, Spock. I was unfair to you. Of course you couldn't kill him. I'm sorry I even asked you to."

"Thank you for your apology, but it changes nothing of how I feel."

"Well..." Kirk glanced around, though the only person who might be close enough to hear anything was Bones; and he wasn't likely to disturb them unless he thought either of them were in danger. "I don't blame you, Spock. But I don't like that this has caused a rift between us."

"And what do you suggest we do about it?"

Kirk shrugged. "I remember a few times at the academy when the instructors used corporal punishment. I'm guessing you never experienced it yourself..."

"I am not perfect... but I confess I have not suffered such a punishment, although I am aware of its existence," Spock said. "You believe this will help?"

"Could it hurt?"

"No. I suspect it would not be worse than how I feel now, despite the odd phrasing of your question." Spock paused and then asked, "In what position would you prefer me to be in?"

Kirk considered it, but Spock was his friend. His second-in-command, sure, but still his friend. And he couldn't consider anything but the most intimate position, because that was what he thought Spock would respond the best to. "I'm going to take you over my knee, Spock. Because you're my friend. And I shouldn't have given you cause to doubt that, so I apologise for that..." His voice trailed off.

"There are not many comfortable places to sit," Spock observed.

"Yeah... but we're in a forest. Should be a fallen tree log or a stump or something..." Kirk began stepping away, catching sight of Spock following from the corner of his eye. "I probably passed several I won't be able to find now," he muttered.

"It never ceases to amaze me how different you are while off the Enterprise, Jim."

"Different, huh?"

"You could say that."

Kirk didn't retrace his steps, instead heading in the opposite direction... away from where he'd left Bones. Even if his friend would likely understand, he wasn't sure he wanted to broadcast exactly what they were doing.

As it was, it didn't take long to come across a fallen tree log. Kirk sat down and then turned to Spock, glancing at his friend's slightly more casual clothing. "Do you want to take your pants down and come here?"

"I assume that was a rhetorical question." Spock moved to Kirk's side and pushed his pants down, along with his underwear. Without a word needed, he bent forward over Kirk's lap, letting his hands rest on the log's surface. "I apologise for this being necessary, Jim."

"No apology necessary, Spock." His Vulcan friend would be the only one Jim could imagine who would apologise for making it necessary for him to get his butt beaten. Knowing how difficult the physical contact was for his friend, he placed his hand on Spock's lower back... because he guessed forcing the personal space issue would have just as much an effect... pushing his shirt up out of the way to do so. He lifted his hand and brought it down in a firm swat on Spock's right cheek, before repeating it on his left.

Spock didn't react, so Kirk landed the next two swats harder. He continued down to the Vulcan's thighs and then started over from the top... which was when he began speaking. "I know you suppress your emotions, Spock. But sometimes it's okay to let them out. Like when you're with your friend. He was your brother. You're allowed to grieve for him."

"I put his safety over yours." The only evidence of the spanking so far was a slight hitch in Spock's breathing as he spoke. And it wasn't clear if the hitch was to do with his next words or to do with the swats. "My loyalty is supposed to lie with you and the Enterprise. That is logical."

"Feelings aren't logical, Spock. I shouldn't have to explain that to you after how long you've known me for." Kirk started a second circuit of swats, watching as Spock's backside began to change to a green hue under his hand. He wasn't really taken aback... but he hadn't thought about the different colour in blood when he'd suggested spanking.

"I hardly think you are the finest example of an emotional human, Jim." Spock's voice was becoming a little bit ragged.

Encouraged by his friend's response, the second circuit was delivered harder, to the point Kirk could begin making out his individual handprints in prominent green. He delivered a few harder swats to Spock's thighs and felt the tensing in his friend's body. "We aren't talking about me."

"I understand what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Spock. You wanted to save your brother. I was angry because I didn't understand. Not at first," Kirk admitted. "Or maybe it would be more accurate to say I didn't want to understand. I mean, I didn't grow up with any siblings. You and Bones... you're my family. I guess maybe... if you already had a brother... I thought you wouldn't need me."

"I am sorry I made you feel that way, Jim." Spock's voice was beginning to sound strained.

"You didn't give me any reason to." Kirk took a deep breath, wondering if he was going to be able to force himself to continue with this... especially when he thought maybe it should be the other way round.

"That is not accurate, Jim. Despite your understanding, I did put my estranged brother ahead of you... my friend and brother in every way that is important."

This time, Kirk was fairly certain the hitching in Spock's voice came from the emotions he was battling to suppress. And he was just as certain his friend needed to break down... no matter how uncomfortable he found it.

Kirk briefly considered removing his belt... but his hand was more personal and he thought that was what Spock needed. He lifted his hand to begin another circuit of swats, snapping his wrist to make the smacks seem harder. This time, when he stopped, he rested his stinging hand on Spock's backside. "You know what, Spock? It did hurt me. Because it felt like you were choosing sides. You were choosing to be loyal to your brother, who'd taken an entire planet hostage. And when you had the chance to stop him, you didn't take it." He'd been rubbing Spock's bottom while he talked, feeling how hot it radiated against his palm.

"Jim... I am sorry." There were definite tears in Spock's voice. "I did not mean to hurt you... I will not betray you again. I give you my word."

"I believe you, Spock." Kirk took a deep breath, deciding his friend... his brother... had reached the point he needed to. "Ten more and it'll be over. I'll forgive you and we won't need to talk about it any longer."

"I understand..."

It was hard, hearing Spock's voice break. And Kirk didn't want to finish it... but he knew he had to, for his friend's sake. He shifted Spock forward, exposing his sit spots, and swatted the promised ten times, going left to right, before he stopped and rubbed Spock's back gently, then tugged his clothing back into place.

Spock carefully pushed up from Kirk's lap and wiped at his eyes. "Thank you, my friend," he said, his voice quiet but sincere.

Kirk nodded. "You're welcome... brother."

The End