Chapter Three: Reclaiming and Forgiveness

Summary: Coriolanus finally gives Sejanus consequences for disobeying him, but Coriolanus is far more affected than he even realises or lets on
Warning(s): Severe spanking with a switch; spoilers for The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes; AU; references to violence and death of minor characters; brief references to medical treatment; explicit sexual content

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Getting the trackers out had been fairly easy. Coriolanus didn't know all the details; he'd been there while the doctor had cut the tracker out of Sejanus, but had left the room while the doctor cut the trackers out of the children. After the trackers had been cut out, Dean Highbottom had taken them to get rid of them...perhaps by destroying them, or by placing them somewhere randomly in the Capitol. Coriolanus wasn't sure what had been done with them; and to be honest, as long as it meant Sejanus was safe, he didn't need to know.

After the trackers had been disposed of, Coriolanus had insisted that the doctor take a look at the injuries on Sejanus. They were mostly cuts and bruises, but even so, he wasn't prepared to leave them untreated. He would have ignored his own bruises, since they were only minor, but Sejanus had insisted that the doctor check over Coriolanus...and while there was nothing more than bruises on his chest and his back, Sejanus had looked guilty and tormented while Coriolanus had been checked over and treated.

After that, getting to the Capitol gates hadn't taken long. Coriolanus didn't know how early Doctor Gaul tended to get up, but no alarms had been raised...so he figured that either she hadn't noticed anything was amiss yet, or Dean Highbottom had managed to make it look like Sejanus and the other two tributes had been killed during the night.

The extraction team had arrived fairly quickly after Coriolanus had pressed the button on the side of the box. They arrived in a simple, nondescript vehicle that wasn't likely to draw any attention, either from the Capitol or the rest of Panem. And none of them seemed surprised to see the two extra tributes Coriolanus had rescued for Sejanus' sake.

The journey back to District 13 was mostly quiet. Two of the members of the extraction team talked to the children, checking which districts they were from and who their families were. They couldn't return the children to their home Districts, so the only chance of reuniting them with their families was to bring the families out of the Districts.

Coriolanus only paid a bit of attention to the conversation going on around him. He sat in the back with Sejanus, holding the other man's hand in a tight grip and trying to calm his own shaking nerves. His second time in the arena had gone much better than the first, given that he hadn't had to kill anyone. But he'd nearly lost Sejanus...the other man had nearly been taken from him. And that made it hard to relax and calm down.

Sejanus must have felt the tension in Coriolanus' tight grip on him. He shuffled a bit nearer, leaning his head against Coriolanus' shoulder, and whispered, "I'm sorry. I''m so sorry."

Coriolanus closed his eyes and tried not to think about the sight of Sejanus sat in the arena, bloodied with his eyes blank and distant. The bruises on his chest and back were painful...but they couldn't even touch on the pain that the prospect of losing Sejanus had filled him with. He couldn't respond to the apology Sejanus voiced. What could he say to him? He couldn't voice an offer of forgiveness, because Sejanus had hurt him so much. There was no way he could take a payment from the other man that would match how much pain he was in, but punishing the man he loved would go at least some way towards healing things between them.

Sejanus had to know that Coriolanus was struggling. He didn't say anything...but he pressed in close enough that Coriolanus could feel every beat of his heart; every breath that he took. It didn't calm the roaring fire that had started in Coriolanus' chest, but the warm, solid weight of the other man filled the need he had to keep Sejanus close. He didn't respond with words, but he let his fingers stroke through Sejanus' hair. He closed his eyes. And he focused on the solid weight of Sejanus nestled in close enough that he could feel his lover was safe.

By the time they reached District 13, Coriolanus felt his breathing calm and settle. His hand had continued to stroke Sejanus...stroking his hair and down his back like the other man was a pet. He opened his eyes and took a deep breath, then spoke to Sejanus in a low, stern voice. "Once we get out, you're going to remove all of your clothes except for your underwear. You're going to wait for me to cut a switch. And then you're going to bend over so that I can switch your bare ass." He paused and then asked, "Do you understand?"

"Yessir," Sejanus whispered, his eyes downcast. He slowly got out of the vehicle and walked over to Lucy Gray, who was standing by their hut. When she reached out to him, he stepped into her embrace and lowered his head to her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her and clinging on tightly.

Coriolanus turned to the others in the vehicle. "You might want to take them out of earshot." He gestured towards the children. "I'm going to be punishing my lover, so you'll want to make sure they don't hear or see and get upset." He waited for the nods of acknowledgement, and for the others to get out of the vehicle, before he got out as well.

Heading into their hut, Coriolanus collected a small wooden stool and a sharp knife. He brought both out and placed the stool in a prominent position in the middle of the huts. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Sejanus was already obeying him. The other man was removing his shirt, folding it neatly and passing it to Lucy Gray when she held her arms out for it. Then, he began to remove his boots.

Satisfied that Sejanus was obeying him, Coriolanus walked over to the row of trees and looked for a branch that was sturdy enough not to break, but not wide enough to cause Sejanus any damage when he used it. He broke the switch off the tree and began to cut the twigs and leaves from it, making sure there was nothing there that would cut the man he loved.

Once he was satisfied with the switch, Coriolanus walked over to Sejanus and Lucy Gray, holding the switch by his side. By that point, Sejanus was completely naked, save for his underwear, and he'd moved towards the stool. He stood by it and looked at Coriolanus, biting his lip nervously.

"Bend over." Coriolanus pointed towards the stool.

Sejanus opened his mouth, like he would have tried to apologise...or perhaps come up with an excuse. But he must have seen the look on Coriolanus' face, because he closed his mouth again. Shoulders slumping, he lowered his body over the stool, positioning himself so that his bottom was the highest part of his body...an easy target.

Lucy Gray carried Sejanus' clothing inside the hut, then returned. After a quick glance at Coriolanus, she then moved to the other side of the stool and knelt down, facing Sejanus. She reached out and took hold of his hands, then looked up and met Coriolanus' eyes, nodding slightly.

Moving forward, Coriolanus reached out and hooked his fingers in the waistband of Sejanus' boxers. He pulled them down slowly, exposing Sejanus' bottom...making it bare and vulnerable. Then, bracing his free hand on the other man's back, he raised the switch and snapped it down sharply against the crest of Sejanus' backside.

There was a sharp intake of breath and Sejanus gripped Lucy Gray's hands tighter, a whimpering sound escaping him.

The switch had left a very thin line across Sejanus' backside, and Coriolanus aimed just below that when he delivered the second stroke. He didn't draw the implement too far back; he didn't need to, for it to be effective.

Sejanus cried out at the third stripe, head jerking up as a whimpered, "Please," escaped him.

Coriolanus didn't know if any of the other residents of District 13 were watching this. His focus was entirely on the punishment he was giving out; on each stroke of the switch as he delivered it to Sejanus' bare bottom. He made sure each stroke landed below the previous, so that none of the lines overlapped, and by the time he reached Sejanus' thighs, there was a neat row of red lines decorating his backside from the crest down to mid-thigh.

By the time Coriolanus had completed one circuit of the strokes from the switch, Sejanus was already sobbing. His tears were audible and his body was shifting, like it was trying to move out of range of the strokes.

Pressing down firmly against Sejanus' back, Coriolanus moved a bit closer and began to bring the switch down for a second circuit, working his way from the crest of the other man's backside down to the middle of his thighs once more. While he couldn't stop the stripes from overlapping, he was careful not to use too much force; careful to make sure there was no risk of him causing any damage to his lover.

By the time Coriolanus had completed a second circuit, Sejanus was slumped limp over the stool. His tears were audible, carrying clearly to Coriolanus' ears. He wasn't fighting, he wasn't resisting. He was submitting to the punishment.

Coriolanus paused. He let the switch tap gently against Sejanus' backside, trying to forget the image of his lover covered with blood in the arena. His stomach clenched and tears blurred his own eyes. The pain was so vivid, he thought he might actually break. He lifted the switch and brought it down to start a third circuit, this time snapping it down harder than he had previously.

Sejanus yelled, trying to pull his hands free of Lucy Gray's grip.

Ignoring the tears, lost in a world of his own pain, Coriolanus continued to bring the switch down. He wasn't bringing the switch down in a calm, methodical manner anymore. Instead, the switch was landing in random spots all over Sejanus' bottom and thighs, each stripe eliciting a yelp or a cry from Sejanus' lips.

And then Coriolanus' hand was caught in a gentle yet firm grip and Lucy Gray was telling him, "That's enough."

Breathing heavily, Coriolanus stared down at the striped, welted buttocks that were still positioned over the stool. His own eyes were streaming, making everything he was looking at appear through a haze of tears. His grip on the switch was shaky and trembling, and his fingers opened without conscious thought, dropping the implement to the ground.

"Coriolanus...." She reached out for him, her eyes soft.

There was a strange sound; an almost keening wail that echoed through the place. Belatedly, Coriolanus realised the sound was coming from his own lips.

It hurt. The only physical wounds he had were the bruises, and they were mild in comparison to the pain tearing him apart inside. Inside, where no doctor could treat, it felt like he was breaking. Clamping his lips shut to stop any more of the sound escaping, he backed away. Lucy Gray's lips were moving, but he couldn't hear what she was saying over the roaring sound in his ears.

He couldn't stay. All he could do was hope that Lucy Gray would be able to take care of Sejanus while he wasn't able to.

He left both of his lovers behind as he slipped between the huts, heading to the water on the other side.

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Coriolanus had been sitting by the water's edge for a long time, just staring into the water. There was something calm and tranquil about sitting there, just staring into the blue surface. He knew he needed to go back to his lovers. He needed to see Sejanus and Lucy Gray. He needed to finish the ritual he'd started with the punishment.

But he'd been far more affected by what had happened than he'd realised. It had probably been a bad idea to go ahead with the punishment at this point, but he hadn't thought either of them would cope with a delay.

Of course, walking away from Sejanus probably hadn't made things any better.

Coriolanus didn't know how long he sat there for, staring into the water, before he heard the sound of footsteps coming towards him. He looked back over his shoulder, eyes widening a fraction when he saw it was Dean Highbottom approaching. "What are you doing here?" he blurted.

The Dean paused and raised his eyebrows. "You must have been very focused on your boy if you weren't paying any attention to the rest of what was going on. I agreed to follow along to District 13 as soon as I could be certain Doctor Gaul didn't suspect that Sejanus and the two children had been rescued and not killed."

Coriolanus looked away for a moment. "Does she suspect anything?" he asked finally.

"No." Dean Highbottom moved over to stand next to Coriolanus, looking out over the water as well. "She believes that the cameras malfunctioned. Another tribute was killed after you got Sejanus out of there. It was easy to drop the trackers into the arena to make it look like the three of them were killed there, during the time the cameras weren't working." After a brief pause, he said, "I'm surprised you let yourself be apart from Sejanus. After what happened, I wouldn't have thought he'd be out of your sight at all."

A hot pit of shame filled Coriolanus' stomach and he looked away, unable to make eye contact. "I punished him. But it was wrong to do that then. It was the wrong time to punish him, while I was still so...so...." His voice trailed off. He didn't know how to put it into words. He wasn't even sure what he was feeling now, apart from a deep sense of shame that he not only hadn't waited, but he'd walked away and left without seeing things through to their conclusion.

Dean Highbottom was quiet for a while before he finally spoke. "What I'm about to say to you is going to be the complete opposite to everything you've been taught in your life, but I think it bears saying. You don't have to be perfect. It's okay to make mistakes sometimes."

Surprised, Coriolanus found his gaze shifting to the Dean's face once more. "You're trying to help me feel better?" He couldn't hide his uncertainty. Even if the Dean didn't outright hate him, he couldn't imagine the older man cared enough to actively try to help him, even if it was just by giving advice.

"You went into the arena to save Sejanus," the Dean replied. "And you did that twice. The second time, you cared more about Sejanus' injuries being treated than your own." He shook his head and sighed. "You've changed, Coriolanus. For the better, I believe. And even if you made a mistake in handling Sejanus right now, I don't think you'll make a second one when you go back to him."

"I left him," Coriolanus whispered. "I punished him too harshly, and then I walked away. That was an even bigger mistake than punishing him so harshly."

"Do you know what I think?" Dean Highbottom continued talking without waiting for a response. "I think you need to talk to him. Apologise, if you think it's appropriate. But I have to be honest with you, Coriolanus." He reached into his pocket and took out a tube of morphling. He opened it and drank the drug down, then put the empty tube back into his pocket. "I don't believe that walking away was a mistake. Perhaps you shouldn't have punished him before you were fully calm enough to do so, but walking away to allow yourself the chance and time to calm down was a wise move." He sat down. "Of course, if you continue to stay away from him even after you've calmed down, I would say that is a mistake."

Coriolanus was nodding by the time Dean Highbottom finished talking. He'd already known he needed to go back to the two people he loved, but hearing those words from another person helped to cement them in his mind. And Dean Highbottom's words gave him hope that, even if he had made a huge mistake in walking away from Sejanus, he could maybe put things right.

Pushing himself to his feet, Coriolanus glanced at the Dean. "If you're going to be staying here in District 13, it's not going to be easy to replenish your supply of morphling. You might want to use something else to dull your emotions and pain."

"Unless I'm very much mistaken, you have two people back there who you need to worry about more than an old man trying to forget his past." Dean Highbottom nodded to Coriolanus. "Go and look after your boy. I'll stay here a bit longer."

"Thank you." Coriolanus took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. He walked back the way he'd come, heading towards the huts.

There was no one else outside when Coriolanus stepped back into the main area. The stool still rested where he left it, but there was no sign of the switch.

Taking another deep breath, he walked to the hut he shared with his two lovers. He pushed open the door and he stepped inside, pulling the door closed behind him and then walking into the bedroom.

Sejanus was curled up on the sleeping mat, Lucy Gray sat next to him with her arms wrapped around him, hugging him close and tight. His bare, striped bottom was on display, as he hadn't clothed himself, and he was sobbing audibly.

Heart clenching and guilt stabbing through him, Coriolanus moved to the other side of Sejanus. He reached out and wrapped his own arms around the other man, tears blurring his vision once more. "Sejanus, I...."

With a heart wrenching sob, Sejanus pulled away from the embrace and stumbled off the sleeping mat. He grabbed the switch from where it lay on the floor and held it out to Coriolanus, tears streaming from his eyes. "I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry. Please finish punishing me. Please." His voice had faltered slightly, but grew stronger with his next words. "I'll be good. I'll submit. Even if you stripe me raw...."

Coriolanus kissed him. He grasped Sejanus' chin and pulled him in and kissed him hard. He could taste salt, but he didn't know if it came from his own tears or Sejanus'.

Eventually, Coriolanus had to breathe. He pulled back from the kiss, but wrapped his arms around the other man in a tight hug and kissed his neck. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I love you. So much. I was so scared I might lose you. I let that fear and worry take control." He slid his hands down Sejanus' back and kissed him again.

Sejanus closed his eyes and pressed into the kiss, hands raising to grip onto Coriolanus' shirt. Another quiet sob escaped him, swallowed by Coriolanus' mouth on his.

Lucy Gray walked over to them and placed a hand on each of their arms. She kissed Sejanus' cheek and then Coriolanus'. "I'll give you some privacy," she murmured. "Take care of each other." She placed something on the sleeping mat and then quietly slipped out of the room.

Coriolanus gently nipped at Sejanus' lips and moved one hand behind his neck, gently gripping and then squeezing the back. Breaking the kiss once more, he whispered, "I love you. You're mine." He kept his hands on Sejanus, guiding the other man towards the bed. He could see the item that Lucy Gray had left there: a jar of the gel they'd used before to soothe the burn from the last punishment Sejanus had received.

Sejanus responded to Coriolanus' silent instructions, laying back on the bed and raising his knees to his chest, exposing his backside. He crossed his wrists above his head and gave a trembling smile. "I'm so sorry I disobeyed you."

Coriolanus covered his mouth with one hand. "I don't want to hear anymore words out of you. Not unless you need to ask me to stop. Do you understand?" He removed his hand.

Eyes wide and wet, Sejanus nodded.

Coriolanus picked up the jar and opened it. He scooped out a generous amount of the gel and then, after warming it between his hands, he began to rub it into Sejanus' backside.

Sejanus' eyes widened and then he gave an audible groan, head falling back, exposing his throat.

Continuing to rub the gel into Sejanus' bottom and upper thighs, Coriolanus reached up with one hand and gently closed it around Sejanus' neck. He didn't squeeze or grip hard, and he could feel Sejanus' pulse fluttering against his fingers. "You are mine." His voice was very low and very intense.

Sejanus nodded quickly, pressing his neck into Coriolanus' hand. Between his legs, his member stirred, beginning to take an interest.

A satisfied smile came across Coriolanus' lips. He had the man he loved exactly where he wanted him: naked and vulnerable to whatever Coriolanus planned to do to him. He glided his fingers towards Sejanus' member and gripped it firmly, beginning to stroke the sensitive skin. He moved his other hand from Sejanus' throat and resumed rubbing the gel into the other man's bottom.

This time, Sejanus' groan was long and drawn out. His hands twitched, as if he was going to move them, but then linked them more firmly together. A low, whimpering whine escaped his lips.

Feeling and seeing the way Sejanus' body responded to him filled Coriolanus with a sense of power. He stroked Sejanus' member until it was fully hard and precum was pooling at the tip. Then, he lowered his head and engulfed it into his mouth.

Sejanus' whole body arched and he cried out, almost mindlessly...though he didn't plead or beg. His hands came to rest on Coriolanus' shoulders, but that was okay, since he hadn't been given any orders about where to put his hands.

Coriolanus grazed his teeth along Sejanus' member, enjoying the way the other man bucked under him and the sounds he drew from his lover.

It didn't take much before Sejanus was releasing hard into Coriolanus' mouth. Gripping his lover's hips, Coriolanus held on until the waves of his orgasm receded. Then, releasing the member, he crawled up the bed and pulled Sejanus into his arms. "You can talk now," he whispered, before pressing a kiss to Sejanus' neck.

"I love you." Sejanus sounded awed. "I love you...and I'm so sorry. Even though you punished me, I know I hurt you. And I...I wish I hadn't...."

"Shh." Coriolanus kissed him, to still the litany of apologies and pleas for forgiveness he was sure were going to follow. "I love you too," he whispered when he broke the kiss. "And I forgive you. But I didn't follow through with my promise of a weekly maintenance spanking, which I now believe was a mistake. So from now on, you're going to be getting weekly spankings. And they're going to be given with a paddle." Stroking his fingers through Sejanus' hair, he added, "You're going to make a paddle for me to use before your first weekly spanking."

"Yessir." Sejanus sniffled sadly.

Coriolanus pulled his lover against him, stroking down over Sejanus' hair and back. "I love you," he repeated. "Get some sleep, Sejanus. It's been a long few days." He brushed a gentle kiss over Sejanus' hair.

Sniffling softly, Sejanus rolled into Coriolanus, fingers curling into his shirt. His eyes closed and his breathing evened out into sleep.

While Coriolanus lay there, stroking his lover's hair, the door opened and Lucy Gray slipped inside. She gave a sweet smile and moved over to join them on the bed, reaching out to embrace both of them. "Is everything healed?" She kept her voice soft.

"It's getting there." Coriolanus took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't walk away intentionally. I...."

"You were hurting." She leaned in and kissed him, tender and lingering. "He doesn't blame you. Neither do I."

"He wanted me to continue punishing him."

"But you didn't." She took his hand. "Even though he made you so angry...even though he hurt you so much. You cared more about protecting him than about punishing him. You love him. He knows that. He loves you too. That's why he was so affected by your pain."

"I love you too," he whispered, willing her to believe him.

She smiled and pressed close to him. "I know. You've done nothing but protect and care for both of us. Even when circumstances made it hard for you." She paused and then asked, softly, "What happened to him?"

After casting a glance at Sejanus' face, to make sure his lover was really asleep and unlikely to hear, Coriolanus answered, his voice as soft as hers. "Doctor Gaul injected him with a serum. It messed up his face and his mind. Turned him into a vicious killer. Then she put him into the arena."

Lucy Gray's eyes widened. "How could she get away with that? I understand why she can treat the Districts like she does. The Capitol doesn't care about them. But Sejanus is a Capitol citizen. Surely someone would have figured out what she'd done?"

"Even if anyone did realise, there'd be nothing they could do about it. Doctor Gaul has all the power." Coriolanus sighed and ran his hand through Sejanus' hair. "I let her think I was on her side. I gave her the false coordinates, so that she'll think she's managed to destroy District 13." He took in a deep, almost shuddering breath. "I don't think I'll be able to convince her again. By now, she'll know that I've gone. Dean Highbottom might have made it look like Sejanus and the two tributes were killed in the arena, but there are no bodies, and that's going to make her suspicious."

"So we need to stay away from the Capitol." She reached out and placed a hand on his chest.

He couldn't hide his wince as her gentle touch made the bruise ache.

She drew her hand back, alarm causing her eyes to flare. "Coriolanus?"

"It's just a bruise." He tried to make himself smile, but was aware it wasn't a very good attempt. "I think it's turned all the colours of the rainbow by now."

"How did you get hurt?" She stroked his face.

He turned his head enough to kiss her palm. "I went into the arena after him."

"He attacked you?"

"It wasn't his fault. He didn't know what he was doing." Once again, Coriolanus looked down at Sejanus...making sure he was still sleeping peacefully. "I don't think he remembers anything. I hope he won't get those memories back. He doesn't deserve to have that pain."

She leaned in and kissed him tenderly, a light brush of lips against his. "I know you'll do your best to protect him. To protect us both," she murmured. "But you know, we can't have a repeat of this. He can't leave here again. If she discovers he's still alive, he'll be in danger. And so will you."

Coriolanus nodded. "We're going to start with the maintenance spankings. Every week, with a paddle. And it's his responsibility to make the paddle in time for the first maintenance spanking." He hesitated, looking into her eyes. "Do you think that's too harsh?"

"He deliberately disobeyed you. He got himself captured and put himself in danger. He put you in danger, because you went after him. And he put everyone here in danger. If Doctor Gaul got anything out of him about District 13...." Lucy Gray shook her head. "I think the weekly maintenance spankings are your best chance of getting through to him. But you should make sure he's fully healed from the switching before you start those up. Or the maintenance spanking will make him more sore than you probably intend."

He nodded, laying there for several quiet long moments, holding onto both of them. Finally, he whispered, "Do you think I went too far?"

"No." She stroked his face. "No matter how hurt and upset you were, you didn't go too far. And I understand why you had to walk away. Sejanus does too." She paused for a second. "Just try not to do it again?"

"I'll do my best." He closed his eyes and sighed, feeling drained...tired. He had the two people he loved the most in his arms. They were safe.

He could finally rest.

The End