Feeling Is Believing

Atlas2.jpg
Dylan and Thaddeus.jpg

Summary: Tag to the second movie. Dylan and Atlas have a 'conversation'. After Thaddeus and Dylan have one
Warning(s): Spanking; major spoilers for Now You See Me 2; minor spoilers for Now You See Me; AU

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Dylan was sure it wasn't just him who had the problem. Despite Thaddeus' suggestion (and no matter how it was phrased, he knew it was really an order), he'd had yet to officially start training Atlas.

This wasn't because of any reluctance on Dylan's part; far from it. Although he knew he still had a good many years left in him, Thaddeus was right that he had to look to the future... and even though it made him ashamed to think of how much time he'd wasted with the older man, now that he knew the truth, he was determined not to let anymore of that time go to waste. Which was why he'd talked he man into staying at the Eye with him and the four horsemen... or perhaps three, if Atlas' avoidance of him turned into the younger man choosing to leave. But Dylan didn't think it had reached that point. Not yet.

"You seem to be deep in thought."

Startled, Dylan raised his head from his deck of cards as Thaddeus sat on the chair opposite. "I didn't hear you." That troubled him. If he was starting to lose his abilities...

"I'm not surprised. Your thoughts are so loud, I suspect they're drowning out the sounds you would usually be so attuned to." Thaddeus watched him closely. "Your young friend... he's like you in so many ways.

"That might be the problem. It's probably why we've butted heads so much. And don't even get me started on keeping people at arm's length..."

"He's avoiding you."

Up until then, Dylan had partway convinced himself Atlas' distance was all in his mind. They'd finally been allowed to learn the secrets of the Eye, so of course Atlas and the others were going to be busy and distracted. "So it's not in my head."

"I suspect there are many things in your head, Dylan. But that is not one of them." Thaddeus seemed to choose his next words carefully. "I can see that... and the frustration it's causing you... because I have been experiencing the same."

Dylan didn't need to ask who Thaddeus was referring to. Apart from their conversation when he'd requested the other man stay at the Eye, they hadn't really spoken... and Dylan knew it was because he'd been avoiding him. "I haven't meant to avoid you..."

"You can lie to me all you want, son. But you can't lie to yourself."

The word hit hard and Dylan couldn't hide his wince. Was it just a sign of affection, or an offer to be a father figure to him? He hated this feeling of constant second-guessing himself. He was always more confident than this. "I'm not..." His voice trailed off and he stopped. Took a breath. "I'm a part of this, but it's always been about getting justice. Making sure the guilty people were punished. Or those who I thought were guilty."

"And you believe sending me to prison was wrong." Thaddeus eyed him calmly. "You spent your life believing a lie your father and I perpetuated. I can't blame you for that."

"I put an innocent man in jail." Dylan looked at the deck of cards, a bitter taste in his mouth.

"And the guilt is tearing you up inside. Look at me, son."

Unwillingly, Dylan raised his eyes to Thaddeus' face.

"You and Atlas are more alike than I suspect even you are aware of. And this guilt you feel is a mirror to his."

"He thought he was doing the right thing."

"Exactly the same as you."

The words hung in the air between them, as Dylan tried to read between the lines. And tried to imagine Atlas feeling so guilty, the younger man was trying to avoid having to face the person he felt he'd wronged.

Oh. Maybe Dylan could relate.

Thaddeus seemed to know the moment that realisation hit, as he nodded, a serious look crossing his face. "It's easy to put a drop of ink in milk. So much more difficult to separate it out again."

So much more difficult to heal a broken relationship. Dylan nodded, understanding what Thaddeus was saying to him. "I assume you have some idea of how to do that."

"Your guilt stems from the belief you haven't paid for the way you've wronged someone. It's the same place Atlas' guilt comes from," Thaddeus said. "I can't help Atlas with his, as what he did didn't involve me."

"But you can help me."

"I can. But only if you trust me."

Trust. There was a loaded word. Outside of the horsemen and now the Eye, Dylan couldn't have said he trusted anyone. And he certainly hadn't trusted Thaddeus when he'd broken the older man out of prison.

Now? If Thaddeus could help with the guilt stabbing at him, he'd accept almost anything that was done.

Thaddeus didn't seem to need an answer; at least not a verbal one. He nodded and then stood. "We should continue this discussion in my apartment."

"Yes." Dylan cut himself off before he added sir. He picked up his deck of cards, placing it in his pocket, and followed Thaddeus from the room.

Both men were silent as they walked up the stairs towards the apartments. Dylan had no idea what Thaddeus was planning, but his emotions had been churning so much, it was a relief to know something was finally going to be done.

It didn't seem that long before they were stood outside Thaddeus' apartment and the older man was unlocking the door. Dylan followed him inside and glanced round as the door swung closed behind him.

They were standing in the doorway, clear of clutter and with a couple of framed articles on the wall. Dylan's guilt stabbed him harder as he realised the articles detailed cases he'd solved while working with the FBI.

"This way, son." Thaddeus walked through the first door.

Dylan followed Thaddeus into the living room, pausing as the older man took a seat on the couch. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew what was about to occur... a suspicion only confirmed by Thaddeus' next words. "Undo your trousers and bend over my lap."

Dylan faltered, wondering if he was serious. "This is your idea? A spanking is hardly... I'm not a child!"

"Do you think a criminal is allowed to choose his punishment?" Thaddeus returned. "If you really want to be free of your guilt, you will do as I say."

Dylan wondered if it would have been easier if Thaddeus had shouted at him; had scolded him and belittled him with insults. The gentleness of his words and tone were somehow much harder to take. And it was the tone that had Dylan unfastening his trousers and moving to Thaddeus' side in the same movement.

It was awkward, but Dylan forced himself to bend at the waist, placing himself over Thaddeus' knees. He felt his cheeks grow hot as he shifted slightly, trying to find a position that, while no less embarrassing, might at least be more comfortable.

Thaddeus' hand on his back stilled Dylan's movement. He felt himself blush even more as the older man tugged down his pants and underwear in one swift movement. He might have protested being bared, but he wanted things to be right between them.

"We wasted a lot of time we could have spent helping each other get over our grief." Thaddeus spoke as he rested his hand on Dylan's backside. "I accept it was as much my fault as yours. I should have reached out to you much sooner. But after this spanking is over, we can move past this. We won't bring it up again... and we can move forward. Do you want that?"

Dylan shivered, but despite the fact his backside was exposed, he wasn't cold. Nor was he scared... not even dreading what was about to happen. No. The biggest emotion he was experiencing right now was shame; that he'd forced Thaddeus into doing this. Belatedly realising the older man had asked him a question and he still hadn't responded, he rushed to answer so Thaddeus didn't think he was being disrespectful. "Yes, sir. I do want that."

Thaddeus didn't make a verbal response, but Dylan winced when he felt the first hard smack land at the crest of his buttocks. He was barely given a chance to catch his breath before the second and third fell, almost on top of each other.

The smacks landed at a steady pace, down to Dylan's thighs. Although he didn't think Thaddeus was using any more force there, his hand felt more painful and Dylan couldn't help the whimper that escaped.

It was worse when Thaddeus started over, swatting skin that had already received attention. Dylan couldn't keep himself from squirming in response, trying to force away the tears that threatened to fall. He was a grown man. He shouldn't be crying over a child's punishment, even if it was painful.

Dylan thought he might be able to halt his reactions; that he would be strong enough to withstand the punishment without breaking down. But as Thaddeus started a third circuit, he began to smack that bit harder and faster. Dylan's butt was sore already... he couldn't stop his gasps and whimpers.

No matter how painful the spanking was, it couldn't touch on the emotions that battered at Dylan when Thaddeus began speaking again: "I don't blame you for what happened, son. You were only focused on revenge for a long time and I thought letting you continue to believe I was guilty would bring both of us some measure of peace."

Dylan's breath hitched in a sob. Thaddeus' voice was soft, but he could still hear the note of anguish in it. That, coupled with the heat building in his bottom, was what began to break down his barriers. "I'm sorry..." He didn't know how much more he could take. Thaddeus was forcing him back into the mindset of a child... and he wasn't sure he could cope with that. He wasn't even sure if he was apologising for framing Thaddeus; for acting like a child; for...

Another round of swats dissolved his thoughts. And with them, Dylans' resistance crumbled. He slumped over Thaddeus' knee, no longer resisting the punishment even by squirming. The tears ran down his cheeks and he cried; quietly, but freely.

After several moments had passed, Dylan became aware of Thaddeus rubbing his back. The older man was murmuring soft words he couldn't decipher, but were comforting anyway. He whimpered softly as Thaddeus tugged his clothing back into place, but pushed himself off the older man's lap and carefully sat next to him on the couch.

Thaddeus wrapped his arm around Dylan's shoulders, drawing him in close. "When you're ready, there's a young man who needs your guidance. But until then... sit with me and we'll talk. I'd like to catch up on everything I've missed with you."

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Enough was enough.

Dylan wasn't sure if it was the spanking or his tentative relationship with Thaddeus, but things seemed so much clearer now. And it was obvious to him that he couldn't just let this situation pass with Atlas. Of course, making that decision and following through with that decision were two very different things... and it took a full twenty-four hours before Dylan managed to corner the younger man; and he had the feeling certain other residents of the Eye had had a hand in him finding Atlas alone.

"Are you planning to contact someone?" Dylan stepped over to the younger man as he noticed Atlas had his phone out, where he was sitting at the table.

Atlas flinched and pulled the phone away, out of Dylan's sight. "What are you doing here?" There was a wary note in his voice.

"Is that a rhetorical question?" Dylan sat opposite him. "We need to talk."

"Okay." Atlas took a deep breath. "I apologised to the others... I know I owe you an apology, too. I should have trusted you knew what you were doing... I trusted the wrong people and it could have all gone horribly wrong."

"It didn't."

"Yeah, well, no thanks to me."

"None of it would be possible without you." Dylan glanced around the small room, that looked like it should be a break room in his workplace... minus the television, but with two couches facing opposite each other and a selection of armchairs scattered around. Bookcases lined the walls... and Dylan didn't think he needed to check to know they were probably very rare books, stolen by members or perhaps allies of the Eye.

"That's nice of you to say, but I almost ruined everything," Atlas stated. "And I let you take the fall for me."

"You also saved me."

"I think you saved yourself. I just pulled you out, but you did all the work."

Dylan leaned back, studying his face. "Just because you made a mistake it doesn't mean I don't want to train you as my successor."

"Really?" A hopeful look came over Atlas' face.

"Yeah. But to do that, you're gonna need to trust me. And we can't achieve that trust with this between us. If you think you can get past this, then we can start from now." Dylan paused, holding eye contact with him.

"I feel like there's a but in there somewhere."

"Can you get past this?"

Atlas was quiet and still for several long moments... and then he slowly shook his head.

Dylan wasn't surprised. He stood and walked towards the door, pushing it closed before he turned to face Atlas. "If you can't let go of the guilt alone, then you need help." He sat down next to the younger man. "I'm going to spank you. And then it will be over. We can move past this and I can get on with training you to be my successor."

Atlas shot him a look filled with disbelief. "I'm not a child."

"You don't have to be a child for a spanking to be effective." Dylan's words were rueful, as he remembered how effective it had been on him. "And if you really believe a spanking isn't going to work... we can figure something else out."

Atlas looked down. "If... if you think it will work..."

Dylan squeezed his shoulder gently. "I'm going to take you over my lap, bare you and then spank you." His voice was soft, as he let Atlas know exactly what was going to happen... and then gently drew the younger man over his knees.

Atlas lay still, only tensing a little as Dylan drew his pants and underwear down in the same motion. He could tell this position took a lot of trust and he placed his hand on Atlas' back, rubbing gently. "I know you feel guilty, but you can't let that tear you up. Once this is over, that's it. We won't need to talk about it again." He lifted his hand and brought it down firmly, the smack echoing in the small room.

The swat drew a jerk and a slight gasp, but no other reaction.

Dylan could see the light pink mark left on Atlas' backside and he then lifted his hand and brought it down again and then a third time, feeling Atlas jerk with each swat.

As Thaddeus had done with him, Dylan completed a circuit of swats down to Atlas' thighs and then started over from the top. Halfway through the second, he began to speak. "I don't blame you for growing impatient and wanting to get back into the limelight. Things were frustrating for all of you. And it wasn't your fault I got captured. I told you to leave. Because protecting you and the others were more important than anything."

"Even... more important than you getting revenge?" Atlas got out.

"I didn't realise for too long, but yes." Dylan paused to deliver some sharper swats to the younger man's sit spots and thighs, shifting him forward to get easier access.

The swats were clearly effective, as Atlas began squirming. "It was my fault, though...!" He sounded close to tears. "I blamed everyone else... but it was all my doing. I put everyone in danger..."

"And everyone got out of danger. You made a mistake. It isn't the end of the world." Dylan began to swat a bit harder and faster. "But letting this guilt tear you apart and take over your life is also a mistake. You need to let go of it. I've forgiven you. Now you just need to forgive yourself." He watched as Atlas' backside turned darker and began to warm up under his palm.

"I... don't know if I can..." Atlas' voice was choked.

"Then we'll work on it. Together. But no more hiding away. No more avoiding me. Are we clear?"

Atlas stiffened over his knee and then slumped. Dylan could hear the sound of tears and he gently rubbed the younger man's back, waiting for the tears to slow and stop before he tugged Atlas' underwear and pants back into place.

Atlas slowly stood, his eyes red-rimmed and wet. Dylan didn't waste any time in wrapping an arm around his shoulders, drawing the younger man in close. "When you've calmed down, we can begin to work on teaching you everything I know."

"Okay." Atlas' voice was soft as he slowly leaned into Dylan's arm... acting more vulnerable than he ever had before.

This was just another parallel between the two of them.

The End