Advent Day Twenty-Two

Summary: Set after Avengers: Endgame. Fluff and stuff leading up to Christmas.
Warning(s): Explicit. Disciplinary and erotic spanking; Heavy Domination/submission; sexual situations; dub/non-con (consent after the fact/reluctant agreement); violence and mentions of violence; AU

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The closer to Christmas it got, the melancholier Peter Tom felt. He did his best to keep the emotions under control, not wanting to make his mates sad too, but it was difficult. Christmas had always been May's favorite time of year, because it was so optimistic, and she could freely help people and not have it viewed oddly. He missed her. A lot.

He'd gone into the park to look at the tree. After twenty-two days, presents were piled up and spilling from under it. May would have loved to see it.

Ikaris had finished wrapping his own presents, that he'd picked up for his mates and his family, and he now went to find Peter, checking through the bond to see where his younger mate was. It didn't take long to find him in the park, looking at the tree, and he walked over to join him.

Sersi had been wrapping gifts as well, but she knew when Ikaris had left the room in search of Peter. She quickly went to join them both.

Peter glanced over as his two mates came into the room and smiled. He did his best to hide the melancholy. "Hi...."

"What are you doing?" Ikaris moved over to Peter's side and reached out to wrap his arms around his younger mate's waist, tugging him in close.

"Just thinking..." Peter smiled. "Admiring the tree. Noticing how many gifts there are under it...." His voice trailed off. Try as he might, he couldn't keep the sadness out of his voice. He thought of May the last Christmas they had spent together... the happiness on her face because Peter had been gone for five years and she had him back. A few feet away from Peter, in the shadows, the leaves seemed to move together, forming a shape.

Sersi noticed the shadows forming and frowned slightly, watching to see what would happen; if she needed to step in and stop it. Peter didn't seem to realize anything was happening. Maybe it wasn't him causing it.

What are you thinking about? Ikaris opened himself up through the bond, allowing himself to merge a little with Peter. By doing that, he hoped Peter would feel able to open up to him in return.

"Past Christmases ..." Peter said quietly, his smile slipping.

"Are you thinking about someone in particular? A woman?" Sersi asked gently. The shadow had taken on a distinctly feminine shape, with very hazy facial features.

"My aunt... Why?" Peter asked in confusion, the sadness breaking free once he admitted to thinking of May. His eyes widened when Sersi pointed toward the shadows, and he saw a 'manifestation' of his aunt. "Oh...."

Ikaris wrapped his arms a bit tighter around Peter, responding to the sadness he could feel from his younger mate. "Tell us about her," he invited softly, sending waves of love and reassurance through the bond...keeping it open between the three of them, so that Peter could feel their presence and know he wasn't alone.

Peter kept his eyes on the manifestation as he described his aunt. The shape took form, resembling May, but it was lacking the warmth of her humanity, resembling a statue that moved.

Sersi left her end of the bond open as well, gently showing Peter and directing him through the bond to recognize the power he was using and how to dispel it. When the manifestation finally dispersed, she sent a wave of love to her younger mate. She was beautiful....

Peter swallowed hard. She was beautiful inside, too. Everyone loved her.

Ikaris pressed a kiss to Peter's temple. If you keep talking about her, you'll keep her memory alive. You'll keep her alive, in a way. I'm sure she loved you just as much as you loved her.

Sighing softly, Peter snuggled into Ikaris's embrace while holding out a hand to Sersi.

Sersi took his hand and squeezed gently. Is that the first time you... changed things? she asked carefully. By this point, she had helped Peter change the manifestation back into the original leaves it had been.

I think so... Peter replied hesitantly. I didn't know I was doing it. Am... Am I getting some of your abilities?

I think you are... Sersi replied. I will help you learn to control it, though, so you don't accidentally change something you can't change back.

Peter bit his lip, cuddling closer to Ikaris almost fearfully. If I changed something living...?

It would die, Sersi acknowledged sadly.

Peter nodded. But I couldn't make something living. If I made something into my aunt...?

It wouldn't be alive. But, even if it was, it wouldn't be your aunt. We can't create souls, Sersi thought firmly.

Peter sighed again and nuzzled Ikaris. So, remembering her is the only way I can keep her with me.

Remembering her. Talking about her. Sharing her with other people who love you. Ikaris brushed another kiss against Peter's head. No one ever truly dies when their memory is kept alive.

Peter relaxed at the words and the affection. Can I tell you about her? I know Happy knew her. He dated her for a little while. But... Until recently, he didn't remember who I was, so I don't know if he'd want to talk about her with me....

Of course. Ikaris kissed his cheek gently. You can tell us as much about her as you feel is right. We'll listen. And we'll help you keep her memory alive. Keep her alive, he promised.

Peter smiled, turning his head enough to kiss Ikaris back. Thank you. It helps... And means so much. He cuddled for several more minutes, only shifting when Sersi moved to embrace him from the other side, effectively sandwiching him between his two older mates.  Feeling much more settled and calm because of the affection, and not quite as sad, he finally asked, If I'm developing some of your abilities, does that mean you might get mine?

It's likely, Ikaris answered. We'll have to start teaching and training each other. A wave of affection came through the bond.

That would be good... Peter snuggled more. Maybe later? I kinda like the cuddling... he added, a sheepish feeling carrying through the bond.

Sersi couldn't hide her fondly affectionate amusement. I like the cuddling too. Maybe we can take this back to our room?

I like that idea, Ikaris agreed. And I like cuddling too. He pressed a kiss to each of their foreheads, then led them out of the park, an arm wrapped around each of their waists.

*****

Sharon watched. She had been watching since the day she had been found and brought to the compound, but she started watching even more closely as those living in this underground bunker prepared for Christmas. Nearly a month after the first X was made through a day on the calendar, and she could honestly say the preparations rivaled anything she'd seen on public streets and in stores before Ultimus's arrival.

It was three days until Christmas, and the children were beside themselves with excitement. She couldn't help smiling faintly as she watched their antics. She couldn't help wishing she still had a youthful, innocent outlook, but she was too old to claim a youthful outlook and she was far from innocent. The most she could do was stay out of the way and enjoy the excitement in a detached way that wouldn't potentially ruin things for anyone else.

Coulson had noticed that Sharon was watching everyone. He hadn't left her alone, but he hadn't forced her to talk to him...instead, he'd made sure she knew he was there for her, if she needed or wanted to talk.

Now, he stood next to her as she watched the children. He reached out and he placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. How are you feeling? he asked through the bond.

Sharon turned her face toward him, crooked smile still in place. It is hard to describe she admitted. I envy everyone their ability to live as if we aren't in an underground bunker with a tyrannical madman attempting to take over the world. She paused before sighing silently. I... I don't belong here. I'm not good. Not anymore. I'm entirely too cynical, untrusting, and... untrustworthy...to be around innocent children. 

She pulled away from his grip slowly, not wanting to yank away. I'm going to go back to the room, I think....

I'll go with you. He let his hand gently stroke over her cheek. We can talk. He allowed a wave of loving reassurance to come through the bond to her.

Guilty appreciation could be felt through the bond; guilt that she was pulling him away from his friends, but gratitude that he was willing to stay with her. Are you sure?

Of course. I love you, he said, gently and reassuringly.

How? Until we bonded, we barely had anything to do with each other. She smiled crookedly again, to try and make the question less offensive or sound less distrusting... but she really didn't understand. If it hadn't been for the fact she could feel he was being genuine, through the bond, she wouldn't have believed him. She continued walking as they talked, going directly to their room.

We're bonded, closer than it was possible for anyone to be before Ultimus invaded, Coulson replied. I know you better than I ever knew anyone before. It's easy to care about you, to love you.

Everyone always knew you were a good man. Able to forgive so much... Sharon entered their room, waiting till he had entered before closing the door.

I wasn't as good at that as I should have been, Coulson admitted quietly. This world's version of Grant Ward, I should have tried harder to save him.

Sharon slanted her head. Maybe. You were hurt and grieving and lashed out. You're human.

Maybe. It was obvious that Coulson regretted that he'd killed this dimension's version of Ward. I know the version here now doesn't really need me, but I'll still make sure to do right by him. And I'll also do right by you, he added.

I trust you will. When this whole Ultimus mess is done, though... it’s going to come out what I did. I don't know that you'd be able to help me. Those in power will want me punished. I'll be lucky if I get life in prison.... Sharon winced.

When Ultimus is defeated, those who played a part in his destruction will have a lot of influence, Coulson replied. I might not be able to help you completely alone...but with the help of the Avengers, I'll be able to protect you.

L.. I hope they can. I know I deserve whatever happens, but...the thought of being pulled away from you now that we're together... Sharon winced again, not completing the thought. It was obvious, through the bond, it physically hurt to think about.

I wouldn't let that happen, he said firmly. No matter what. I won't allow you to get pulled away from me.

Sharon nodded, not certain he could stop it, but wanting to believe. She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around herself. It was a relief that he was in her side, but that didn't take away the guilt that nagged her about what she'd done. Even if she had her reasons, it didn't erase her actions.

He sent a wave of loving reassurance through the bond before saying softly, I can feel your guilt. I know it's troubling you. Do you think you might feel better if I help you?

I don't know. I didn't expect to feel guilty. I certainly didn't feel guilty when I started down the road I took. I felt justified. Sharon sighed. I felt like I was abandoned and left to save myself, only thought about when help was needed again. I don't know why I feel guilty now. I just...do. And I don't know if it can be helped.

Do you think it might be worth trying? he asked. I don't think you need to spend the rest of your life feeling guilty. And you won't be left alone any longer. I will always be there for you, he promised.

If you think you can help. What would I need to do? Sharon asked hesitantly.

Spanking works as a way to help with guilt and release negative emotions, Coulson said. I would take you over my knee and spank your bare bottom with my hand. All you'd need to do is cooperate.

Sharon blinked in surprise at that. What if it doesn't work? I will cooperate because you are my mate and it feels like I should, but I don't see how that would help ease my guilt. Especially when I don't understand why I feel guilty now, of all times, when I didn't before....  She moved closer to his side.

Having observed the others in discipline relationships here, I believe it can help. He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently, as he led her towards the bed.

Sharon took his hand and followed. I will listen to you and hope it works. She smiled weakly.

He gently squeezed her hand. I'm here for you, he reiterated. And I love you. Taking a seat on the bed, he gently guided her into position across his lap.

Sharon couldn't help stiffening up slightly at the position, feeling vulnerable and helpless. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to relax and then reached down to hold onto her mate's leg. As vulnerable and helpless as she felt, she didn't feel scared. She trusted Coulson completely. Warmth pooled in her chest and spread through her body as she gave him control over her body and what would happen to it... the bond liked that she was submitting to Coulson's correction.

Coulson gently rubbed her back for a few moments, then bared her. I have you, he promised. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her tight against his stomach. Then, he lifted his hand and brought it down in a firm smack that he then repeated.

Sharon hissed out a surprised breath at the first smack. It stung more than she had expected it to, indicating that this wasn't just going to be a token punishment. Coulson intended for it to leave an impression. She swallowed hard and shifted minutely, blinking her eyes as the sting made them water. I trust you... she finally responded. Her breathing was deliberate. She was obviously trying to retain control over her emotions.

Thank you. He kept the bond open between them, even as he continued to swat, working over every inch of her backside, from the crest down to mid-thigh, before starting over from the top.

Sharon shifted again and swallowed, surprised to find that her watery eyes had become runny, watery eyes. She was crying. From a spanking. It was totally unexpected and unsettling and her grip on Coulson's leg tightened as she attempted to stop crying. Her breathing had quickened as well. It was obvious that the spanking was affecting her.

I'm here. I've got you. I love you. His voice was gentle and reassuring, even as he completed a second circuit of swats and began a third...going a fraction harder and faster.

"I... I love you too..." Sharon gasped out loud, realizing it was true. Her voice caught and quivered before she lost her battle with her tears and began to cry vocally. I'm sorry... she added. I'm sorry I'm so messed up...that I messed up so much. You deserve better....

You're not messed up. You were hurt, deeply hurt, by being abandoned and left to fend for yourself. But you're not going to be abandoned anymore, he promised. I won't let that happen. Ever again.

Thank you... Sharon slumped in relief and submission. M... maybe everything will be okay. If you are with me... If they know you are with me....

I'll protect you, he promised. Bringing the spanking to a stop, he carefully gathered her into his arms and hugged her close and tight.

Sharon hesitantly held onto him, but when it became clear he wasn't going to let her go, she tightened her embrace, clinging to him. I'm not alone anymore... she thought, relief flowing through the bond. She was still crying, but not trying to hide it from him. His acceptance left her feeling safe.

I'll never let you be alone again. I'm here for you. Always. Coulson pressed a kiss to the top of her head and tightened his arms around her.

Thank you. I love you... Sharon continued to cling and snuggle.

I love you too. He continued to hold her close, content to spend the rest of the day with her.