Expect The Unexpected

Fandom: Agents of SHIELD
Summary: Ward has something to confess
Notes & Warnings: AU; references to beating
Spoiler up to: Season one finale

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Coulson

I’ve been lying to you. I’ve been lying to everyone.

I’ve spent the last week or so getting drunk. Taking drugs. Doing everything I know I shouldn’t. I could blame it on the lingering effects of the Berserker staff, but the truth is that I can’t carry on like this.

Garrett is HYDRA. There are others, I know. It’s been growing inside SHIELD, probably since the organisation first came about. I know this because, for a long time, my only loyalty has been to Garrett. And I’ve been spying for him. The only reason any of you think I’m a good man is because I’ve put on a mask. I’ve been lying not only to you, but everyone else around me for so long, I don’t think I know what the truth is anymore.

I know you’ll have a lot of questions. As you read this, I expect you’ll be wondering how much you can believe. I’ve just admitted I’ve been lying to you from day one. I wouldn’t blame you if you had me arrested and then went after Garrett yourself. But without knowing how far HYDRA’s reach is, you could end up trusting the wrong people. I don’t know every agent who’s been compromised, but I can find out.

Whatever you decide to do to me now that you know, I won’t fight you. Even if you decide not to trust me and to have me locked away, I won’t resist.

You might be wondering where this change of heart came from. It’s difficult to pinpoint an exact time I chose to betray Garrett. It’s not been easy to consider turning against him. I owe the man a lot, but I’ve seen how he does things and I’ve seen how you do them. The team isn’t expendable to you. I’ve long since understood Garrett would sacrifice me for his own ends, but you’ve never given me that impression. At least not since the time I was on the mission with Leo and we didn’t have an extraction. Maybe that was the first time I realised how different you were, when Leo told me the instructions you’d given me were the same ones you’d given him.

I can’t think of any way of making it up to you. Apart from imprisonment or death, the only other way I can think of for you to take your revenge is if you beat me.

But whatever you decide to do, I won’t fight. I won’t resist. I’ll take whatever you choose to dish out.

Ward

***

Grant

Thank you for reaching out to me.

I’m not going to lie to you. When I got your letter, I was shocked and angry. But more than that, I felt betrayed. I’m not used to misjudging someone so strongly.

I’ve had time to think the situation through now. I’m not going to arrest you or lock you up. And I’m not going to give you a beating. The fact you’re so accepting and even welcoming of that action causes me a great deal of concern.

I believe we can salvage this difficult situation. It won’t be easy to flush out every HYDRA agent, but just like cleaning out a wound, it does need to be done. But for right now, my biggest priority is going to be your safety. I can trust Fury isn’t compromised. And while your revelation is an unexpected shock, I would trust the rest of the team hasn’t been recruited.

What I’m not going to have, Grant, is you crippled by guilt. I’m not going to keep this from the others. When they learn about HYDRA’s infiltration, they’ll all have questions and keeping your own connection a secret will only tear our team even further apart.

My suggestion is this. It’s an unorthodox way to deal with your actions, but I’m going to use corporal punishment on you. More specifically, I’m going to spank you.

There is precedent for this form of discipline, even if it’s not used often. It comes from the use of corporal punishment in the military and the navy. If you dig deep enough into the SHIELD handbook, at least the older versions, I suspect you’ll find a reference to it.

I’m not suggesting we do this in front of witnesses, or that I make use of an implement. This isn’t about humiliating you or pushing you to the limits of what you can take.

No, young man. When you read this letter, you will make yourself ready for an appointment over my knee, your butt bare and ready for chastisement.

Coulson