Emotional Pain, Emotional Healing

Summary: Follows When It Works. Gil finds out Malcolm’s been seeing Dr. Coppenrath
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the first season of Prodigal Son; AU; references to violence; references to emotional trauma
Author’s Note: Also written for the out of your comfort zone October mini-challenge over on Spanking_World at LiveJournal. These are the prompts:

3. Bent over something unusual (anything other than the usual desk/table/chair) or bent over without support

2. Tawse or strap

1. Workplace or school

###

“Bright. I need to talk to you.”

Malcolm glanced up from where he was looking through the crime scene photos with Dani. He focused on Gil, seeing the frown that creased the older man’s forehead. The way Gil’s arms were crossed over his chest. And the stern note that had slipped into the older man’s voice.

“Can it wait?” Malcolm asked. He looked at Dani. “You need me here. Don’t you?” He wasn’t begging. Not quite, at least. But he was hoping that she’d say she needed him to stay.

Dani looked from Malcolm to Gil and back again before she shook her head. “No. I can do without you for a while.”

“Bright.” Gil’s eyes narrowed and his frown deepened.

“Okay, okay. I’m coming.” Malcolm stood up with a heavy sigh. He shot one last pleading look at Dani, but when she didn’t react, he let his shoulders slump and walked round the table, towards Gil.

Gil looked into Malcolm’s eyes, but didn’t say anything. He simply turned and walked away from the interrogation room, heading towards his office.

“Are you going to tell me what I’ve done wrong?” Malcolm asked, matching his stride to Gil’s.

Gil didn’t respond until they were inside his office with the door safely closed behind them. Then, he asked sternly, “Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing Dr. Coppenrath?”

Malcolm fidgeted, unable to look into Gil’s eyes. Hanging his head and staring at the floor, he muttered, “I was going to tell you.”

“When?” Gil replied. “Do you understand what a bad idea it is to rely on a criminal to be your therapist?”

“The Surgeon is still relied upon to give medical advice and used as a consultant,” Malcolm said. “And Dr. Coppenrath didn’t do anything even close to what my father did. Besides, he’s helped me feel better.”

“How?” Gil demanded.

Malcolm shrugged. “It’s called spanking therapy. And it really works,” he said earnestly. “I’ve been sleeping better right after the two sessions. Not just the night directly after, either.”

Gil held up his hand. “Let me see if I understand this correctly. So far, you’ve seen Dr. Coppenrath twice. And both times, he’s spanked you? As a punishment for deceiving him and getting him arrested?”

“No. He’s made it very clear that the spankings are about therapy. About helping what’s wrong with me.” His voice dropped as he continued, “I tried to talk him into using an implement. I figured more pain would help even more. But he wouldn’t do it. Because it’s not about causing pain. And I don’t really feel any guilt about him being arrested.”

“You asked him to give you a more severe spanking?”

“I took several implements with me into the last session,” Malcolm admitted. “I know I’ve done a lot you’re not happy with, Gil. I figure you’re the best person to help me.” His voice dropped and he darted a look at the older man’s face. “You’re a better father to me than my biological one.”

Gil snorted softly and a considering look passed across his face before he nodded. “There’s no precedent for disciplining a consultant, but I can certainly discipline my wayward son.” He walked over to his desk and opened one of the drawers. “Close the blinds, Bright.”

Taking a deep breath, Malcolm walked over to close the blinds. By the time he turned round, it was to see Gil holding a wide, black, leather strap in his hand. Malcolm swallowed hard and forced himself to make eye contact. “Where do you want me?”

Gently tapping the strap against his palm, Gil directed softly, “Bend over.”

Malcolm waited, just long enough to be sure Gil wasn’t going to add any more instructions. Then, after glancing at the blinds to make sure they were fully closed, he slowly turned his back to Gil. Then, he bent double at the wait, wrapping his arms around his shins, drawing his backside taut.

The next moment, Gil’s hand was resting on his lower back. The strap rested against his bottom and was then drawn back, only to slap firmly against the fullest part of his bottom.

Drawing his breath in sharply, Malcolm let it out in a whimpering whine as a second burning stripe landed just below the first. And then Gil just continued bringing the strap against Malcolm’s backside, working over every inch.

It was hard to keep his balance. Malcolm’s grip on his shins tightened as the strap painted his whole bottom, down to mid-thigh, with the burning strokes.

“I’m not going to stand by and let you continue with this dangerous behaviour, son.” Gil spoke above the relentless stripes from the strap. “You’ve spent almost your entire time here either lying to me or putting yourself in danger. And that’s not going to happen again, Bright. Do you understand me?”

The last four words were accompanied by extra hard stripes that caused Malcolm to cry out. Even over his pants, the strapping hurt and his entire backside was burning.

“And now, I’m going to make sure the lesson sticks.” Gil helped Malcolm to his feet and then took a firm grasp of his elbow. He led Malcolm round the back of the desk and then sat down, drawing Malcolm down and across his lap.

Tears were in Malcolm’s eyes, but they hadn’t fallen; at least not yet. His whole body tensed as Gil tugged his pants and underwear down, baring his bottom. There was an instant of cool air that wafted across his bare skin…and then Gil brought his hand down in a heavy smack that made Malcolm’s whole body jerk.

The hand spanking on top of the marks left from the strap burned in an entirely new way. Malcolm couldn’t help it; he began squirming and wriggling over Gil’s knees. The tears in his eyes began to fall, trickling down his cheeks. “Gil, I’m sorry!” he burst out.

“Do you even know what you’re apologising for?” Gil asked. He was still smacking firmly, covering every inch of Malcolm’s bottom down to mid-thigh.

“You don’t want me to do anything dangerous!” Malcolm fought to get the words out through a throat choked by tears.

“Do you know why, son?”

Sniffling and blinking rapidly in an attempt to hold back the tears, Malcolm responded, “Because you feel responsible for me.”

“Because I love you,” Gil corrected. “You’re the closest thing I have to a son, Malcolm. And I’ve nearly lost you multiple times over.”

Malcolm’s whole body slumped and he began to sob. His bottom ached and burned horribly, but that wasn’t what caused the tears. “I love you too,” he managed to get out.

“Then stop pulling these dangerous stunts, Bright.” Gil rubbed his back for a few moments before he pulled Malcolm’s clothing back into place.

Standing up slowly, Malcolm reached back and gingerly rubbed at his bottom, whimpering softly at the burn.

“Come here, kid.” Gil opened his arms.

Malcolm stepped into them immediately, wrapping his own arms tightly around Gil. He breathed in deeply and let his head rest gently against the older man’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for a while, just hugging. It was long enough for the raging fire to cool somewhat in Malcolm’s bottom, at least. Finally, though, he spoke. “Please don’t ask me not to see Dr. Coppenrath again. Because I’ll just have to disobey and I don’t want you to be angry with me again.” He paused. “He really has helped me.”

“I’m not happy about this….”

“Look, he’s not considered a risk,” Malcolm said. “He’s probably not going to serve a full sentence. You know how many issues I’ve got, Gil. This is something that’s safe for me and could help me even more. I know how worried you are about me.”

Gil sighed. “I am worried about you, Bright. But I don’t know if you’re thinking straight about Dr. Coppenrath.” He paused and then nodded. “But you are seeking out help. Just don’t keep what happens a secret from me. All right, son?”

“Yeah.” Malcolm nodded. “Okay, Dad.”

###

“Did the spanking do anything to help with your sense of guilt?”

Malcolm looked up from where he was sat on the chair. His bottom was still tender, but the burning had faded somewhat now that it was the second day after Gil had punished him. He looked at Dr. Coppenrath and hesitated before answering. “I’ve lived with guilt for so long, I don’t really remember what it felt like to be without it. But I do feel lighter. At least a little.”

“So it had a positive impact on you, rather than a negative one?” Dr. Coppenrath closed the journal and leaned forward slightly.

“Mostly positive,” Malcolm replied. “The spanking was physically painful, but it was like a balm on an emotional wound.”

“Do you expect that Gil will spank you again if there’s a repeat of your dangerous behaviour?” Dr. Coppenrath asked. “You don’t seem to find physical pain as daunting as the emotional.”

“I don’t like disappointing the people I care about,” Malcolm admitted. “The people I love. And those who love me.”

“Like your biological father.”

Malcolm flinched. “I don’t want to talk about the Surgeon.” His hand began shaking and he grabbed it with his other hand.

“But he comes under the umbrella of the people who love you,” Dr. Coppenrath observed. “Or who perhaps proclaims to love you.”

“Gil is more of a father to me than he’s ever been,” Malcolm stated.

Dr. Coppenrath nodded. “You want to change your behaviour for his sake.”

“I want him to be proud of me.” The words escaped Malcolm without conscious thought.

“Do you truly believe he isn’t?”

“Sometimes. I know he wishes I took far less chances.” Malcolm shifted position slightly. “I guess he’s got a way to handle that now.”

Dr. Coppenrath nodded. “You didn’t go into many details in your journal about how you felt after the spanking. If there’s a next time, I’d like you to write down how you feel as soon as possible. It doesn’t have to be a neat paragraph. Even just a bullet list will help.”

“Yeah. I’ll do that,” Malcolm agreed. He shifted again. “I think we’re nearing the end of the session.”

“We are.” Dr. Coppenrath stood up and walked over to the bed, sitting down on it. “Now, I know you’re still tender from the spanking you got from Gil, but I believe consistency is important in this type of therapy.”

Malcolm nodded and stood. He quickly loosened his pants and underwear and lowered himself over the therapist’s lap.

The smacks weren’t any harder than Dr. Coppenrath had given him in the last two sessions, but they quickly reignited the fire Gil had lit in his backside and it took only moments for him to begin squirming in place, unable to hold still through the methodical warming of his backside.

Three full circuits brought the first tears to Malcolm’s eyes and they began to fall halfway through the fourth. He tangled his fingers in the comforter, because he didn’t want to throw his hand back to try and protect his bottom.

Finally, Malcolm slumped limp over Dr. Coppenrath’s lap and let the tears come. Even after realising the spanking had come to a stop, he didn’t try to push himself up, instead just laying there and allowing the tears to die down in their own time.

He didn’t know how long he lay there for, but when he finally pushed himself up, his bottom wasn’t throbbing as much as it had been. But it was still sore. And when he pulled his clothing back into place, he moaned softly as the rough material rubbed against his aching backside.

Dr. Coppenrath waited for him to compose himself and then said, “I’d suggest you bring Gil with you to one of our next sessions, if you feel comfortable having him here with you.”

“I don’t think he’ll say no,” Malcolm replied wryly. “Convincing him to stay away? That will be a problem.”

“He wants to protect you,” Dr. Coppenrath replied. “That’s a good thing. Not a bad one.”

“I know.” Malcolm picked up his journal and walked towards the cell door. “I’ll see you at the same time next week.” He gave his bottom a quick rub before knocking to be left out.

The End