Disturbed Sleep

Summary: Alex has a memory-nightmare that might reveal a little more about the Ancient One's plans. Jake takes care of his sub
Warning(s): Spanking, for calming and settling/cathartic purposes; explicit sexual content; references to past abuse and trauma; mentions of spanking; mentions of mind control; D/s
Pairing: Jake Matthews/Alex Stone

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"You're useless to me now."

The cruel, almost mocking voice broke through his dreams, causing him to surface out of the deep pain and guilt that had held him captive. He blinked rapidly, trying to focus on the figure that stood in one corner of the hospital room...but his vision was too blurry, as if the unnatural aging had caused his eyesight to fail along with the rest of his body. 

There was a light touch to his forehead, but even if it wasn't painful, it wasn't caring. It felt cold...almost clinical.

"I'm going to take the last part of your lifeforce now." The insiduous whisper reached his ears. "I'd tell you that it won't hurt...but I'm afraid that would be a lie."

Before he could react, before he could respond, a burning pain enveloped his whole body and he cried out, his body arching up from the bed.

"Alex? Alex, wake up! You're having a nightmare."

A tiny whimper escaped Alex's lips as his eyes slowly opened. He blinked rapidly, trying to focus on Jake's anxiously worried face that was looking down at him, and let out a tiny whimper. "Master...." He reached out to the other man, his voice trembling with emotion.

Jake immediately wrapped his arms around Alex, pressing a kiss to his hair and his neck. "I'm here, sweet Alex," he murmured. "I'm not going anywhere."

Tears filled Alex's eyes and spilled down over his cheeks. Giving a tiny sob, he threw his arms around Jake and clung on tightly. "I'm so sorry...."

"Alex...." There was a pained note in Jake's voice as he stroked Alex's hair; as he brushed a tender kiss against his neck. "You don't need to apologise anymore," he whispered. "What happened wasn't your fault. You were manipulated...controlled. I don't blame you."

Alex let out a tiny whimper as he pressed closer to Jake, taking comfort from his Dom's presence...even though he knew he didn't deserve it.

"Oh, love." Jake moved carefully, settling himself against the headboard of the bed, and pulled until Alex was settled on his lap, cuddled tightly in his arms. His fingers gently stroked down Alex's bare back, applying gentle pressure to the knots of tension he found there. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Slowly calming at Jake's gentle touch and soothing words, Alex pressed his face into his Dom's neck and nodded. 

"It wasn't your fault, my sweet boy," Jake murmured into his ear. "I don't blame you for what happened."

"I blame me," Alex whispered, his voice hitching.

Jake was quiet for a few moments, just caressing and massaging Alex's back. Then, seeming to come to a decision, he carefully moved Alex into position across his lap, settling him there with a comforting arm wrapped around his waist.

Alex sobbed. "I'm sorry," he repeated, placing his hands behind his back.

"This isn't about punishment, my sweet boy," Jake murmured, even as he took a gentle hold of Alex's hands. He squeezed them gently, even as he began to rub Alex's bottom with his other hand. As he rubbed, he spoke in a soft, tender voice warmed through with affection and love. "You don't need to hold onto this guilt, Alex. All it will do is hurt you and cause you to withdraw from me. I won't let you punish yourself because of your guilt. And I won't let you withdraw from me." As he finished speaking, he lifted his hand.

Alex tensed, though the smack that Jake delivered was fairly light; really more of a firm pat than anything else. As his Dom continued, not increasing the force or speed at all, Alex found himself gradually relaxing over Jake's lap. A tiny whimper escaped him, but it was from the emotions welling up inside him, rather than any pain.

After a couple of minutes, Jake stopped patting firmly and instead resumed rubbing Alex's backside. "Tell me about your dream," he said.

Alex shifted slightly before relaxing once more over Jake's lap. There were tears in his eyes still, but he felt safe...loved...cared for. Responding to his Dom's order, he whispered, "I...dreamed about when I was in the hospital. I think...maybe the Ancient One came to me...."

"Oh, Alex." Jake's voice was very gentle and tender. "I'm sorry I left you there. I'm sorry I left you alone. But I promise, my sweet boy, that I won't leave you alone again. No matter what happens. You are mine."

More tears slipped out of Alex's eyes, and he found himself slumping over Jake's lap, letting out another quiet sob. "I hurt you."

"No, Alex." A firm, nearly stern note crept into Jake's voice. "It wasn't you who hurt me. You were being controlled by the Ancient One. He attacked you in a way that you couldn't defend yourself against. But you didn't stay lost," he whispered, a hoarse note creeping into his voice. "You're with me now. I've got you, Alex. I love you." His voice was low and intense.

Alex just whimpered softly, burying his face in his arms.

A tiny sigh escaped Jake and he began to pat again, though there was a little more force behind them this time, turning them into light swats. "It isn't your responsibility to punish yourself, Alex. Even if you think you've done the worst thing imaginable..."

"I did the worst thing imaginable," Alex interrupted, his voice breaking. "I hurt you. I hurt you..." The swats weren't even really hard enough to be truly painful. What caused the tears to fall down his cheeks were the emotions that plagued him: deep sorrow and guilt and self-loathing.

Jake's hand came to a stop once more and resumed its gentle rubbing. After a brief moment, his voice low and emotional, he said, "I was hurt, Alex. But it wasn't by you. The Ancient One used your body. He forced you to do things you never would have done if you'd been in control of yourself. I know you feel guilty, Alex, but you don't need to. I'm here, I'm whole, and I love you."

A choked sob escaped Alex's lips and he whimpered, "I love you too."

"Then please, my love, try to release this guilt," Jake said. "I don't want you to keep suffering like this. I will do anything to help you feel better, to help you heal, but I need you to meet me halfway here." His voice was very gentle as he spoke, in stark contrast to the slightly harder smacks he began to deliver to Alex's bottom and the tops of his thighs.

As the heat gradually began to build, Alex began to shift and squirm in reaction to the swats, unable to help it. He'd already been crying, but the emotions combined with the sting from the spanking caused him to begin crying harder, his body slumping over Jake's lap.

Slowly, gradually, Jake began to lessen the force and speed of the swats, until he was finally only giving very light pats. Eventually, he stopped even those and then carefully moved Alex onto his lap instead of over it, wrapping his arms around him and hugging tight.

Letting out another choked sob, Alex wrapped his own arms tightly around Jake in return and pressed in close to his Dom, burying his face into Jake's shoulder.

Alex didn't know how long he lay there like that, nestled in Jake's arms, but it was long enough for his tears to slow and stop. It was long enough for the sting in his bottom to fade to a mild warmth. Sniffling, he pressed a kiss to Jake's neck and whispered, "Thank you."

"You're very welcome, my sweet Alex." Jake let his fingers run through Alex's hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "I love you, and when you struggle with guilt and pain, I'll do anything to help you through it," he murmured. "But I wish you didn't carry this guilt on your shoulders. You don't deserve it."

"I know you believe that. I'll...try to believe it as well." Alex raised his head.

Jake met Alex's lips with his own, kissing him deeply and tenderly. One hand slipped behind Alex's head, cupping it, while his other hand stroked down Alex's back, caressing his warm bottom.

Alex moaned into Jake's mouth, closing his eyes as he shivered. Despite his nakedness, though, he wasn't cold. The shivering was from desire.

As he kissed a bit harder, Jake slowly eased Alex back onto the bed, using his weight to pin him there. His hands stroked down Alex's hips, moving towards his legs. When he reached Alex's thighs, he spread them apart and knelt between them, fingers ghosting over the sensitive skin of his member.

Alex's groan was long and drawn-out as his member twitched in response to Jake's touch. "Master." He gasped the word, and it was swallowed by Jake's mouth.

Dragging his lips away from Alex's so that they could both breathe, Jake then began to trail kisses along the line of Alex's jaw and down his neck.

Body arching into Jake's touches and kisses, Alex wrapped his arms around his Dom, hands roaming over Jake's back. As the sensitive parts of his body were kissed and caressed, he found himself relaxing more and more, tension seeping out of him as his body responded to Jake's touch...as if recognising who owned him.

Jake kissed his way down Alex's chest and over his stomach. When he reached Alex's member, he gave it a long, leisurely lick from root to tip.

Alex gasped, his body twitching in response. "Master." Warmth pooled in his belly and spread out to the rest of his body, until every part of his body felt flushed with arousal.

Giving a quiet hum in response, Jake engulfed Alex's member into his mouth.

A loud cry escaped Alex's lips as Jake's warm, wet mouth engulfed his member. His fingers reached down to tangle in his Dom's hair; not to try and guide Jake, but because he needed to hold onto him.

It was hard to hold on as pleasure sparked through him, but Alex didn't want to let go before he was given permission to. He couldn't stop the whimpers and moans that escaped him, though. His body twisted and writhed under Jake's ministrations...until his Dom's hands grasped his hips, holding him still while Jake tasted him.

Just as Alex reached a point where he didn't think he'd be able to hold on, Jake released his member with one final lick. Spreading Alex's legs further apart, he then reached out for the bottle of oil on their nightstand. He poured a generous amount into his palms, rubbing them together to warm it up. He then coated his own member, using a liberal amount. Grasping Alex's hips in a firm, tight hold, he then pushed slowly inside him.

Alex gasped, his eyes blurring with fresh tears at the feel of Jake pushing inside him.

Pausing, Jake tenderly wiped his tears away with his thumbs. "Did I hurt you?" The note of concern in his voice was obvious.

"No," Alex whispered, looking up into Jake's eyes. "It just...feels so good when we're joined together," he admitted. "Don't stop. Please."

Jake's eyes softened and he leaned in, giving Alex a long, lingering kiss. At the same time, he pushed the rest of the way inside Alex, sheathing himself.

Alex moaned softly and reached up, running his hands down over Jake's shoulders, exploring his Dom's hard, muscled body. "Jake..." he moaned. "Please.” 

"What do you want?" Jake whispered, looking into Alex's eyes. "Tell me what you want...what you need...my sweet Alex..."

"You," Alex whispered, tears filling his eyes. "I just need...you."

"You have me, my love. My heart. I will never leave you," Jake promised. "You're mine." He began to move inside Alex. His thrusts started out slow and gentle, but became more urgent, even though they weren't forceful, as both of them rushed towards their release.

As pleasure sparked inside of him, Alex felt his release close. Gripping Jake's shoulders tightly, holding onto his Dom, he whimpered out, "I'm close."

"Let go for me, my love," Jake whispered. "I will catch you. I will always catch you." He leaned down, capturing Alex's lips in another deep, passionate kiss.

His body arching into his Master's lips and touch, Alex's release came over him in waves. His cry was swallowed by Jake's lips as he rode the waves of his orgasm, pleasure sparking through his entire body.

When his orgasm finally receded, Alex lay limp and slightly dazed under Jake's body. His Dom pressed gentle, affectionate kisses to his face and neck, whispering words of love and praise that made Alex feel good and all floaty inside.

"Are you back with me, my sweet boy?" Jake asked finally, stroking Alex's face.

"I feel good," Alex whispered. "All...floaty. And spacey." He felt more at peace than he had since the Ancient One had loosened his hold on him.

"I'm so glad," Jake murmured, pressing another kiss to Alex's neck. "Let me get us both cleaned up, my sweet Alex, and then we can just cuddle."

"Okay." Alex gave a slightly loopy smile. "I'd like to cuddle," he admitted, in a soft voice.

"That's good, because I want to cuddle with you too." Jake carefully withdrew from Alex. He disappeared from view for a moment or two, then returned with a damp cloth and a towel. He carefully cleaned them up from their mingled release, then stretched out on the bed next to Alex, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

Alex immediately nestled into Jake's arms, closing his eyes and resting against his Dom's shoulder. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too." Jake brushed a tender kiss against his hair and murmured, "You sound more...at peace and contented than you have been."

"I feel more contented and at peace," Alex admitted quietly. "I...I don't know why. It's not like this was the first time you spanked me, or the first time we had sex, since the Ancient One lost his grip on me."

"Perhaps it's the first time you've been able to feel my forgiveness and love," Jake murmured, one hand stroking gently down Alex's back and over his still-warm bottom.

“Maybe." Alex kissed Jake's shoulder and closed his eyes, relaxing at the gentle stroking and caressing. Now that he felt calmer and at peace, he was able to think about the dream he'd had...or was it a memory, rather than his subconscious tormenting him with what he'd done to the man he loved?"

"What are you thinking about, my sweet boy?" Jake murmured.

"The dream I had," Alex admitted quietly. "I thought it was just a nightmare. But...now I'm wondering. I think it might have been a memory..."

"Go on," Jake encouraged, stroking his fingers through Alex's hair.

Sighing quietly, Alex pressed himself closer to Jake. "I think...it was a memory, not just a dream," he admitted quietly. "It was when I was in the hospital. I was barely conscious, and I think I must have assumed it was a dream...but I think the Ancient One came to me."

"You saw him?"

"No. I was barely conscious. But I heard him." Alex took a deep breath. "He said that...I was useless to him. But he was going to take the last of my lifeforce...." Tears filled his eyes and spilled down his cheeks. "And...he started to. It hurt so much...."

"Alex..." There was a note of very real pain in Jake's voice as he tightened his hold on Alex. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I left you alone in that darkness."

Shaking his head, Alex hugged his Dom tighter and opened his eyes, looking up into Jake's own. "It wasn't your fault," he whispered. "I don't blame you. Please don't blame yourself." He reached up to cup Jake's face in his hands, pressing a tender kiss to his lips, and whispered, "I think maybe the Ancient One actually coming to my hospital room means something. I wonder if...maybe has to be physically close to someone to control them? To feed off their energy and life force?"

Jake's eyes narrowed in thought as he continued stroking Alex's body. "You might be right," he said slowly. "In which case, identifying the Ancient One...and therefore fighting him...might be easier than we thought. Though it seems he doesn't need to be there at all times, so perhaps he only needs to be there during the initial exerting of control...and, of course, to feed on the energy on his victims." He tightened his embrace around Alex. "I'm still sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry I left you alone in the darkness for so long..."

"But you still saved me," Alex whispered. "You came back. You punished me, not even as severely as I really would have deserved, and you forgave me. Please, Master...don't blame yourself."

Jake stroked Alex's face, letting his thumb tenderly caress his lower lip. "Then you shouldn't blame yourself either, Alex. Both of us were hurt by what the Ancient One did...and both of us have come through the other side. Our relationship is stronger than it ever was before," he whispered. "And my love for you is as strong as it ever was. I've already forgiven you for what the Ancient One made you do to me, Alex. Will you forgive me for abandoning you? For leaving you alone in that darkness?” 

A couple of tears slipped out of Alex's eyes, wiped away by Jake's thumbs. "Of course. I love you. I will always love you," he promised.

"Thank you, my sweet boy." Jake kissed him. Pulling Alex closer, resuming the gentle stroking, he whispered, "We should try to get more sleep now. In the morning, we can talk to the others about our theory...perhaps make some plans for our next move," he suggested.

"Okay." Alex nodded and took a deep breath, pressing himself closer to his Dom. With Jake's arms wrapped so protectively around him, he felt so protected...loved...cared for. Letting out a slow, contented sigh, he closed his eyes and quickly slipped into a deep, peaceful sleep.

The End