Deflection

Summary: Written for Summerdayghost as part of the FandomGiftBox challenge. “Don’t fuck Colossus.” No promises
Warning(s): Spoilers for Deadpool 1 and 2; AU; sexual scenes between two men; some consensual sexual violence
Pairing: Colossus/Deadpool

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“What are you doing, Wade?”

Deadpool froze, one foot out of the door of the mansion; the other ‘safely’ back inside the building. “Aww, man. I was so close too,” he complained, throwing his hands up to the sky. “You’d think you guys coulda warned me the big friendly giant was standing behind me.”

Colossus’ footfalls were loud enough to shake the floor as he stalked over to Wade, who turned round, hand shooting out to catch himself before he would have tumbled to the floor. “I wasn’t doing anything!”

Colossus paused and crossed his arms over his massive chest, staring down at Wade. “You lie as easily as you breathe, Wade. Do not tell me you have roped Ellie and Yukio into helping you in your scheme.”

“Okay. I won’t tell you,” Deadpool answered brightly, before cocking his head to one side. “Wait a minute. Ellie. Is that her name? Negasonic Teenage Warhead has a name like Ellie? Oooh, I wonder what it’s short for. Eleanor, maybe? Cause if so, I can see why she wanted to change it. One hundred per cent. It’s not like that kind of name fits her. Of course, I still think Negasonic Teenage Warhead is the most badass superhero name ever. And I would so totally steal it if I was a superhero. Or a teenager.”

“Wade.” Colossus’ voice cut through his ramblings. Placing his hands on his hips, the metal giant asked, “Did you or did you not rope them into helping you restore Cable’s time travel device?”

“Oh, oh, I know this one!” Wade bounced excitedly in place before saying, “Actually, I’m not sure I want to incriminate myself. I want to ask the audience. Phone a friend. Is 50-50 an option still?”

“Wade.” Colossus’ long-suffering sigh sounded like metal rasping over rusted metal.

“Okay, fine. Yes. I roped your little minions into helping me repair Cable’s time travel device.” Deadpool paused, thought about it and corrected himself. “Who am I kidding? I didn’t have a clue how to fix it. I’m not ashamed to admit they bore the brunt of the hard work.” He grinned under his mask. “Besides. If you think about it, Cable gave up his chance to go home to save me. And a Lannister always pays his debts.”

“What?” Colossus frowned.

“Are you kidding me?” Deadpool waved his arms; spread them wide enough that he was in danger of toppling forward, into Colossus. “A mansion this fucking big, you’ve gotta have everything to watch Game of Thrones. No excuse.”

“And you really expect me to believe your motives are entirely altruistic?” Colossus raised his eyebrows.

“Of course they’re fucking not,” Deadpool replied. “I can’t believe you’d even have to ask me that. But once I get Vanessa back and fix a few other mistakes in the multiverse, Cable’ll get his time travel thingamajig back. He can go home. Be with his family.”

“No.”

Deadpool paused, frowned, opened his mouth, closed it again. Then, he asked, “What are you saying no to exactly? Just so we’re clear.”

“You have no idea what kind of changes you’ll make by going back and saving her,” Colossus stated. “What if you save Vanessa at the cost of Russell?”

“Don’t worry, big guy. I got it.” Deadpool patted Colossus’ chest, as close to his shoulder as he could get. “You’re worried about me. ‘Course, even blowing myself up wasn’t nearly enough to kill me. Didn’t even hurt. Or maybe my pain receptors are all blown. But that can’t be the case,” he rambled. “If you can’t feel pain, you can’t feel pleasure either. And that’s not the case for me. But maybe it is for you, Mr. Asexual Giant.”

“I am not asexual.” The look of confusion was obvious on Colossus’ face as he continued, “You have lost me.”

“Pretty sure I found you again.” Deadpool’s hand slid between Colossus’ legs, touching his groin. “There he is. Little Colossus.” He chortled.

Colossus took a step back, though not quite out of touching range. “Little?”

“Objectively speaking, of course. But I sure ain’t calling it Big Colossus. Don’t want you to get too much of a complex.” Deadpool stepped closer to the giant, sliding his fingers along the thin metal shorts Colossus wore, teasing out the length of his erection. He could feel it hard and firm beneath his touch. Licking his lips under the mask, he pushed it up off his mouth and then used his teeth to pull his glove free. With the red material dangling, he slid his hand down Colossus’ shorts, taking a firm hold of the giant’s member. “Wow. Have you ever split someone in two when you’ve had sex? You know, you wouldn’t have to worry about that with me. I’d heal from whatever you did to me. Even if you flattened every bone in my body.”

“Wade.” Colossus placed his hands on Deadpool’s shoulders. “This is not appropriate. And I believe you are just trying to deflect me from what you are doing,” he added.

Deadpool pouted. He pulled his fingers out of Colossus’ shorts and looked up at the giant’s metal face. He spat out the glove and pulled his other one off and then reached up, touching Colossus’ chest. “Lean down.”

“Why?”

“Don’t ask questions. Just do it.”

Colossus hesitated, glancing back over his shoulder. Then, he bent his head.

Standing on tiptoe, Deadpool was able to press his lips against the other man’s.

The metallic taste was like blood in his mouth. Deadpool closed his eyes and then sprang up, wrapping his legs and arms around Colossus, clinging on like he was a spider monkey. “You gonna take me to bed, big boy?”

“This is not what you want, Wade.” Colossus placed his hands on Deadpool’s hips, like he was going to set him down. He didn’t. Instead, his hands rested lightly in place, fingers squeezing Deadpool’s sides and running down his legs.

Deadpool squirmed, the touch tickling as well as arousing him. He let out a low groan as his member stirred in response to Colossus hands. He pressed himself closer against Colossus. “Can you feel that? Can you feel you’re turning me on?”

“Your body is reacting to stimulus.”

“Yeah, stimulus I’m provoking.” Deadpool kissed Colossus again, hard enough that, when he pulled away, his mouth hurt for a few seconds before his quick healing kicked in. “Don’t overthink things, big guy. Just let it happen.”

As if Deadpool’s words were giving him permission, Colossus pressed forward, kissing Deadpool hard enough to make his lips ache. At the same time, he slammed the door to the mansion shut with his elbow and then turned, shoving Deadpool up against the wall and kissing him even deeper.

Pain did ripple through him, but Deadpool rode the wave and wrapped his legs tighter around Colossus’ body. He shivered as the giant’s large hands slid up under his outfit, then ripped it off his body, tossing the suit over to one corner of the hall.

“I hope you didn’t rip that. You have any idea how much effort I put into making that suit?” Deadpool gasped out, right before Colossus’ lips came down hard on the sensitive skin of his neck.

As his neck was kissed hard and he felt the slightly sharp sting of teeth, Deadpool slid his hands down to Colossus’ shorts. He pushed them down and off, freeing the other man’s erection and grasping it in both hands.

Unlike the rest of his metallic body, Colossus’ erection was warm. Hot, even. It was more comfortable for Deadpool to grip with both hands and he ran his fingers along the length, even while he angled his head to one side to allow Colossus better access to his neck. And that also gave him the opportunity to kiss and swirl his tongue over Colossus’ neck, tasting the metal that made up his skin. His own erection was responding, throbbing and straining and beginning to leak precum.

Colossus moved his hands to cup and squeeze Deadpool’s buttocks, pushing their erections against each other. Deadpool let his head fall back and gave a long, full, drawn-out moan. And when Colossus freed one hand from Deadpool’s buttocks to touch his erection, his release came over him sudden and quick.

Deadpool let his body slump into Colossus’ arms and he wrapped his own around the other man in a tight hug. “So you didn’t answer my question. Are you going to take me upstairs and fuck my brains out?” He leaned back and gave Colossus a wicked grin.

“Are you going to try and change the timeline?” Colossus countered.

“Can’t make any promises about that. But hey, I’ll promise to take you along on any escapades I go on.” Deadpool watched Colossus closely. “And along the way, we can figure all this out. But right now…take me to your bedroom and screw me sideways.”

Colossus lifted Deadpool and settled him over his shoulder. With Deadpool dangling down, grinning at an unseen audience, he began heading up the stairs further into the mansion.

Deadpool began waving. “Go on. Shoo. Find another couple to ship right now. Scene’s over.”

The End