Darkest Side

Summary: Set in the same ‘verse as You’re Dangerous. Some days are tougher than others
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the movie Top Gun; AU; sexual situations between two men; references to canon character death; some potentially triggering material in references to depression and suicidal thoughts
Pairing: Ice/Maverick

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Maverick gathered up his paperwork, barely seeing as the students filed out of the classroom. He was caught up in his own thoughts…his own history and past. At least this time, he knew what had triggered the memories and the darkness he couldn’t always force back on his own.

The two younger men didn’t really look like either him or Goose; at least not physically. But they’d been talking and joking throughout the whole of the lesson together and something about the obvious closeness and the banter exchanged had hit Maverick the wrong way.

He was supposed to be meeting Ice at the diner for lunch, but he didn’t really feel up to it. Didn’t really feel up to doing anything, if he was honest. Part of him wanted to lock himself up in his room and let the darkness take him over entirely. Part of him wanted to take his plane up into the sky…but he knew enough about himself to know that kind of action would turn into reckless, dangerous behaviour. And while he didn’t have any problem taking chances, he couldn’t be sure what kind of path he’d take if he went out feeling the way he did right now.

A knock on the doorjamb brought Maverick’s attention to Ice, who was standing there with a grin on his face as he gave Maverick an appreciative once-over. “You’re looking good, Mav. Teaching agrees with you.”

“Yeah.” Maverick forced a smile to his lips and glanced down at his paperwork. He took a deep breath. Normally, Ice seemed to have some kind of sixth sense about when Maverick was having a bad day. Which was just as well, because Maverick had no idea how to bring up what he needed. How could he ask the man he slept with to tan his ass and draw him up out of his downward spiral?

“You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Maverick shifted the papers on his desk, because he had to do something with his hands. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Ice, because he didn’t want to have to deal with this. Didn’t want to make Ice deal with him, because it wasn’t fair on the other man. And even if it helped in the long term, he didn’t want to spend the rest of the day with a thoroughly warmed backside and difficulty sitting down.

There was the sound of footsteps and then Maverick felt Ice’s hands come to rest on his shoulders. His breath came out in an almost explosive sigh and he looked into the other man’s eyes. “I know.” Weary resignation filled his voice and he rubbed at his eyes. “I can’t hide anything from you.”

“That doesn’t stop you from trying.”

“Yeah, well….” Maverick smiled, but there was little humour in it. “I think I’m sick of trying to lie and hide things from you. I don’t want to feel this way, Ice. I want to go to the diner with you. Grab a meal together. You know. Like a real couple.”

“We are a real couple.”

“Really?” Maverick asked doubtfully. “Most ‘real’ couples don’t end up with one of them needing to spank the other. Numerous times.”

“And how would you know that?” Ice slid his hands down to Maverick’s waist, grasping his hips. “You think a lot of couples would make it obvious they’re involved in domestic discipline?”

“Don’t know.” Maverick shrugged. “Maybe.” He pressed against Ice’s body, looking down and muttering, “I don’t want a spanking.”

“I know.” Ice squeezed his waist gently. “But I think we both know you need one.”

Maverick huffed softly and let his forehead rest gently against Ice’s shoulder. He didn’t repeat himself. Ice knew he didn’t want a spanking. He knew Ice didn’t really enjoy giving him a spanking, but there was no denying that it worked. That after it happened, he felt so much better. Felt like himself again. But he couldn’t make himself ask for it. Couldn’t force himself to ask Ice to step into the role of disciplinarian, no matter how temporarily.

Ice held him for a few moments and it felt good. The embrace was warm and comforting and Maverick wished it was enough. Wished that it could be enough.

But he knew better. And he knew that Ice knew better.

Ice kissed him and the pressure of his lips felt good. Maverick closed his eyes and kissed back, pressing in close. And he nipped at the other man’s lips, because even if Ice was taking charge right now, they were still equal in most ways. And he felt Ice’s reaction to the nip; pressed close enough that he could feel Ice’s erection pressing into him.

Ice gently squeezed Maverick’s hips and then pulled back from the kiss. He moved over to the desk and sat down, then gently guided Maverick into place across his knee, raising it up enough so that Maverick was arched over, rather than laying flat.

Ice ran a hand over the seat of Maverick’s pants and he found himself slumping in place, closing his eyes. He felt the other man’s hand lift and tensed up a split second before Ice’s palm swatted him; first one buttock and then the other. Then delivered another pair of swats just below the first. And two more below that.

His pants offered some protection; enough that the smacks stung, but weren’t unbearable. He shifted a little in place as his backside began to warm.

Ice continued to smack, slow and steady, the sound of the swats echoing in the room. Maverick gripped onto the edge of the desk and breathed in deep, trying to focus on his position. On his lover’s hand smacking his backside. On what Ice was doing for him, giving him something else to focus on rather than the darkness he could never quite shake on his own.

Maverick didn’t know how long Ice spanked for before he paused and hooked his fingers in Maverick’s pants. He raised his hips, making it easier for Ice to tug his pants down, and couldn’t help but whimper softly as the first smack landed on his backside with only the thin layer of his briefs protecting him.

The smacks felt harder and firmer and Maverick’s vision began to blur. A tight weight had formed in his chest, a lump in his throat and after a few more moments of the steady smacks, he put his hands behind his back; not to protect his backside, but because he needed Ice to hold onto him. He felt like he was spiraling downwards and needed to cling onto something.

Ice grasped Maverick’s hands and whispered, “I’ve got you, Mav. I won’t let go of you.”

The words brought the first tears down Maverick’s cheeks. He clung almost desperately to the other man’s hands, unable to help letting out a quiet sob as his briefs were pulled down to join his pants, leaving him bare and vulnerable to Ice’s gaze and hand.

The smacks to his bared backside stung a bit more and Maverick couldn’t help but begin to squirm in response. The warmth had turned into a stinging burn that covered his entire backside, including his sit spots; right where he would feel it when he sat down later.

“I love you.” Ice’s voice was soft, but the tone was so intense, he might as well have shouted the words.

Maverick choked on a sob. And one sob turned into more. He slumped limp over Ice’s knee, crying out the pain. Sobbing out the weight in his chest and the lump in his throat. With every tear he shed, the terrible, awful feelings seeped out of him.

Ice was rubbing his back as Maverick’s tears slowed and finally died down. When they had, he helped Maverick to stand, wrapping him in a tight embrace.

Maverick clutched at Ice, breathing deeply and blinking back the remnants of his tears. “I love you too,” he whispered.

“I know.” Ice’s grin came clearly through in his voice. He pressed another kiss to Maverick’s lips, kissing hard and deep.

Returning the kiss with interest, Maverick pushed the other man towards the wall, pinning him there and holding Ice’s hands up and out of the way. His other hand tugged his lover’s shirt free, baring Ice’s chest. He pulled back from Ice’s lips and began to kiss his way down the other man’s neck and towards his nipples.

Ice’s groan was long and drawn out when Maverick drew one of the nipples into his mouth. He sucked and licked the sensitive nub until he heard a whimper from the other man, then released the swollen nipple. He kissed along to the opposite nipple and tugged that into his mouth too, reducing it to the same state as the first.

“Mav.” The name escaped Ice’s lips in a harsh gasp.

Maverick pulled back and grinned at Ice. “Something you want?”

Ice’s eyes were heavy-lidded and he was panting heavily. But when Maverick pulled back, a cocky grin spread over his face and he hooked one foot around Maverick’s ankles, yanking him off balance and causing him to let go of Ice’s hands.

In a matter of seconds, Ice had Maverick pinned against the desk. It was only a matter of seconds before he had Maverick’s shirt off and was giving his nipples the same treatment his own had received.

Groaning under his breath, Maverick wrapped his arms around Ice, beginning to pant with need. For now, he’d let the other man be in control.

But Ice had better enjoy it, because he wouldn’t be on top for long.

The End