Damaged Beyond Repair

Summary: Set after Civil War. Tony comes to see Steve in his holding cell
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers up to the Civil War arc; some mentions of violence

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He couldn't blame them.

These were people he'd worked with; fought alongside. They'd been more than allies. They'd been friends... and now they were wary of him; and rightly so, given the war they'd been caught up in.

But it wasn't even the SHIELD agents who were the source for how bad he truly felt.

Steve had lost track of how long he'd been in the holding cell for. He could easily break out. The cell wasn't impenetrable; not to his serum-induced strength.

The memories of the dead were what held him in place. He might not have killed Goliath himself... but he knew it was his ultimate responsibility. The look of hope on Tony's face... that he'd killed... was very nearly the worst of that whole day.

"Why did you do it?"

Steve wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there for before he became aware of Tony's presence. He locked eyes with the man he considered a friend... a brother. "You know why. We can take care of ourselves. With our identities known? The people we love are at risk."

"I could point out the amount of people who have been hurt or killed. Innocent civilians. But I don't want to keep going round in circles. And that wasn't what I meant." Tony stepped closer, almost to the reinforced wall that separated them. "Why did you give yourself up?"

Steve was silent for a moment. "I couldn't face any more death."

"I don't think the war's over." Tony's voice was bitter. "And Goliath isn't going to be the only death." His voice dropped as he added, "But... he was the first one of us..." His voice trailed off and he sank to the floor outside the cell, placing his hand against the wall. "I didn't want anyone to have to die. That was never what I intended."

"It wasn't just about you."

"Yeah, but you're Captain America."

"Not anymore."

The silence that fell between them was filled with heartbreak and broken promises. Steve didn't know what to say. He didn't know why Tony was here... sitting outside his cell. He wasn't sure what the other man wanted from him. Was he looking for his childhood hero? Steve wasn't sure he'd ever been that guy.

"I'm sorry."

Steve looked at Tony. "I think we both did some bad things."

"Yeah, but do you remember what it used to be like? After you found out who I was?" Tony asked. "You..." He cleared his throat. "I know you might not be my friend anymore, but... I have no one else to turn to."

Steve closed his eyes. His first thought was to tell Tony he couldn't do this anymore. That he had his own guilt to deal with... and he was too broken up inside to be responsible for anyone. And yet... when he looked at Tony, everything fell away. It was like they were back in the Avengers and their friends weren't at each other's throats.

And Tony was feeling guilty. And Steve was remembering his friend hadn't had much in the way of guidance or family. No matter how good Jarvis was, he wasn't father material...

"This isn't going to change that we're on opposite sides," Steve said. "But... if you need my help? You know how to get in."

Tony nodded and let out his breath in a quiet sigh. He placed his hand against the scanner and stepped into the cell as the door slid open. He then paused, staring at Steve... who looked right back at him. "I don't think I'm the right person to do this." He moved back so that he was resting against the wall and then paused, waiting, looking at Tony.

"I think you're the only one I can trust to do this. The only one I ever did." Tony kept eye contact with Steve as he walked to his side and allowed himself to be pulled across Steve's lap.

It was a strange feeling, to have Tony in this position once more. Steve looked down at the man who appeared older than him... but he thought the man who'd been his friend was probably more mature than him; since he knew what he needed and could put voice to it... while Steve couldn't imagine doing the same thing.

But this was something they'd done more than once. And for the sake of the friendship they'd once shared... Steve would do this to help Tony. And in this, they'd be on the same side. Even if they couldn't be in anything else. He wouldn't be able to help himself... he'd have to deal with his guilt.

But the man who'd once been his friend didn't have to any longer.

Steve wrapped his arm around Tony's waist, drawing him against his stomach. He lifted his hand and let it fall in the first hard smack.

The End