Damaged

Summary: Tag to Allegiant Part One. Caleb may not be as genetically damaged as those outside believe
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the Divergent series up to Allegiant Part One; some references to violence; AU

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Caleb should have felt at peace. Even if he couldn't empathise (or so those outside the wall claimed)... he'd succeeded in what he was supposed to do. He'd made himself indispensible to everyone, so they couldn't punish him for taking what he'd thought was the right path.

But he wasn't content.

He wasn't sure why. He'd thought it was because there was nothing to stretch his intelligence; nothing to challenge him after what he'd seen outside the wall.

It hadn't taken long for him to realise there'd been less challenges for him then; at least personally.

Caleb was used to acting in what he felt was everyone's best interest. He'd never thought to question why he wasn't so emotionally close to his parents and Beatrice. Since joining Erudite, everything in him had become devoted to Jeanine and her cause. He'd never thought to question her... never thought about what his defection would cost his sister.

Now? He could think of little else.

There was so much rebuilding that had to be done. Caleb knew Beatrice was busy with Four and planning how to handle those outside the Wall... and, of course, she had Four to help her. He wasn't sure how Evelyn fit into it all, but he didn't expect Beatrice to currently have any time for him.

And Caleb wasn't used to needing anyone in an emotional way.

The technology wasn't as good as it had been outside the wall, but Caleb was filling up his time with making technological maps of what he remembered of the outside. Sooner or later, they'd have to take the fight to them.

At least, that was the logical path to take.

Realising he wasn't alone in the room, Caleb glanced up and saw Beatrice standing there. It was still something of a shock to see her looking so different, but he tried hard not to show that.

He didn't want Beatrice to feel uncomfortable. He might not be certain of everything, but she was still his family. "Do you need something?" There was a lot more he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't put any of it into words.

"What are you doing?" Beatrice stepped closer to him.

Caleb's smile was hesitant, but this was the first time Beatrice had come to speak to him when she didn't need anything. "I've been working on maps. I thought... they might be useful?" His voice rose in a question on the last word, as he couldn't quite hide his uncertainty.

Beatrice's return smile was happier than Caleb had seen it in a while and she stepped over to him, glancing at the screen. "Thank you. I didn't say anything before, but... thank you. For everything you did."

"You don't need to thank me, Beatrice. You're my family."

"Is that all there is to it? Or is this just the most logical path?"

The words hung in the air between them and Caleb stared at the screen, unable to make eye contact with his sister. "Beatrice..." he started, stopped, then tried again. "No matter what you do... no matter what path you take... I will always be on your side."

"Caleb, look at me."

She'd walked round to his side and he raised his eyes to hers. He didn't know what she was looking for. His sincerity? He didn't know how those kinds of things were measured, but he forced himself to say it... what was in his head. "I'm sorry."

"I know."

"No." Caleb swallowed. "Not the... sorry that doesn't really mean anything. They told me I'm damaged genetically. That I value intellect more than emotion. Even if that's true... I'm still sorry."

Beatrice shook her head. "Don't apologise for what you can't control."

"But maybe you can help me," Caleb suggested. "What Evelyn was doing... what she was going to do to me... how can anyone learn from that?" He'd been working at it like he would any problem and there was only one real conclusion he could come to. "We would have learned better from punishment... not execution."

"I don't think I understand."

Caleb smiled. "Yes you do." He was certain his sister's emotional understanding far surpassed his own. It was nearly impossible to read Beatrice's face and he shifted, feeling unusually anxious. "I... know it should be the other way round, but you're more whole than I am, so..."

They were alone in the room and Beatrice walked over to the door, closing it gently. When she turned back to Caleb, he couldn't read her face, but her words sent a shot of relief through him. "Stand up. Give me your belt."

Caleb's hands fumbled at his waist and he stood and pulled the belt through the loops. He handed it to Beatrice and then waited.

Beatrice took a deep breath and spoke with a set look to her face. "Turn round."

Caleb nodded to show he understood and turned, bracing his hands automatically on the surface closest to him. He breathed deep when he heard his sister step to his side and let his breath out in one sharp gasp when his own belt impacted his behind.

The strikes weren't very hard. Caleb's white-knuckled grip wasn't just because of the pain, though. This was personal... being held accountable for his actions. He'd asked his sister for help. No matter her own feelings, she was doing this for him.

And maybe... maybe he wasn't too damaged for her.

The End