Crushed

Summary: Part of the month of mini-ficlets. Kane understands, better than anyone, how much Bellamy hurts
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for up to season three of the 100; violence

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This wasn't the first time the irony had struck him. Kane had been responsible for the deaths of many of his people on the Ark... deaths he'd realised were unnecessary, but which had ultimately changed him into a better man... or so he liked to believe. In many ways, he felt he and Bellamy were similar; but while the pain of those deaths (though they weighed heavily on his heart) caused Kane to strive towards a peaceful resolution... Bellamy had allowed himself to travel a much darker path. A path Kane knew well, because it had been his own downward spiral.

A downward spiral he'd halted, with the help of his friends... even if Thelonious Jaha now bore little resemblance to the man Kane had considered closer than a friend. And Kane could see a lot of himself in Bellamy, which was why he hoped to get through to the much younger man. Maybe it was too late... but Kane knew he couldn't stop trying. He couldn't stop trying to get through to all of them.

There'd been enough bloodshed on both sides.

Kane had no doubts Pike was watching him closely. If the man thought Kane was cowed, he was a fool... and Pike was no fool. Badly wounded by so many deaths he'd seen? Of course. Close to running a dictatorship? Undoubtedly.

It seemed so long ago now that Kane had made his own bid for power... power he'd come to realise he never wanted, after he knew how much it had cost him. So many people had sacrificed themselves. So many people had died... unnecessarily.

His sense of responsibility for those deaths would never leave him, but he'd vowed to do what he could to halt any further bloodshed. Even when it meant putting himself in the line of fire. Even when it meant taking drastic measures to turn one of Pike's minions back down the path he should be taking.

The knock on the door, firm and confident, drew Kane out of his thoughts. Standing, he walked over and opened the door, stepping back to allow Bellamy to step into his room.

"You wanted to see me... sir?" The pause just before the 'sir' made it clear where Kane stood in Bellamy's estimation.

Kane nodded and closed the door before he turned to Bellamy. "I want you to make the right decision."

Bellamy's face showed hostility. "That's what I am doing."

"Bellamy... son." Kane used the term of address and saw the way it affected Bellamy, no matter how he tried to hide it. "I've been on this same path as you. I thought killing people on the Ark was the right thing to do... but all that kind of violence does is beget more violence, until neither side wins."

"Neither side is winning now."

"You're right. But before Pike took power, we had a chance." Kane looked into Bellamy's eyes, trying to reach the good person he knew was there. "If we continue down this path, there will be no victory. Only insurmountable losses."

Shaking his head, Bellamy turned to leave. "This is a waste of time."

"You feel responsible for their deaths."

"Like you."

"I know what it is to feel that kind of guilt." Kane stepped closer to Bellamy. "You trusted the wrong person and it hurts. But you don't have to torment yourself over this any longer. And when your head is clear? If you still believe in Pike's ideals, I'll no longer attempt to change your mind. But his path will only lead to more and more bloodshed until there's nothing left."

When Bellamy turned to look at Kane, his face was young... haunted... almost desperate. "It was my fault." He swallowed.

"It feels that way... but it wasn't. It wasn't your fault." Kane didn't point out that Bellamy's responsibility would grow the further down this path he went. He reached for Bellamy, putting an arm around his shoulders... relieved when he didn't pull away.

His arm around Bellamy to keep him close, Kane stepped over to his simply-made bed, speaking quietly to the youngster even as he did so. "I'm not going to lie to you. This will hurt... but the pain will fade and it will give you a chance to safely release your emotions."

Bellamy stiffened when Kane sat on the bed. His whole body grew tense, even though he didn't physically fight, as Kane pulled him down across his lap. Kane rubbed his back, feeling the muscles bunched under his hand, before he tugged Bellamy's pants down to bare his backside.

Now, Kane spoke... as his hand rebounded sharply off the naked bottom across his knees. "The Ice Nation destroyed Mount Weather. Not you. And not the rest of the Grounders. Would you hold a child responsible for their parent's actions? A sister for her brother's? If our people from the Ark are individually responsible for our own decisions... why are the Grounders any different?"

By that time, Kane had completed two full circuits of swats and he heard Bellamy beginning to react, shifting a little across his lap. He slid Bellamy forward and began swatting the creases between his bottom and thighs. "The people you and Pike murdered... they had families. People who wanted them to come home. The only reason you and Pike were able to slaughter them was because they didn't know they were in any danger from you. You betrayed people who trusted you."

When he heard the first quiet sob, Kane stopped. His words might have been spoken to himself... but he didn't deny Bellamy the forgiveness he himself had so desperately sought. Carefully pulling the younger man's pants back into place, he helped Bellamy off his lap and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug.

Bellamy stiffened... and then slumped against Kane's shoulder, his tears audible, clinging on tight... as if he were a child desperate for comfort.

Or a man who needed someone to understand.

The End