Coping

Summary: Bucky has trust issues. But he trusts Sam completely.
Warning(s): D/s; M/m; sexual situations; fluffiness; Spoilers for Falcon and the Winter Soldier; AU
Pairing: Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes

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Bucky would never say it out loud, not willingly and certainly not without being asked first, but Sam had been right. Fighting HYDRA and putting those who'd supported them behind bars might be a laudable goal, but the only way he could truly make things right was by facing those who had been affected by his actions. Even so, facing Yori Nakajima to admit how his son had really died and that Bucky was responsible, even if unwillingly, was one of the hardest things he'd had to do since regaining his own autonomy.

And, of course, he still had to go to therapy. He was there now, just staring, giving as little information as he could, as was usual. The look on the therapist's face was suspicious, though. He was seeing a new therapist since he had moved to help Sam with restoring his family's boat and the man looked like he had something up his sleeve. It didn't take long to find out what.

"Notes in your file indicate you seem to do better when it isn't just you, alone. I've asked Sergeant Wilson to join us..." the man began, but paused at Bucky's glare before continuing, "...Unless you would prefer me to get his opinions on events without you being present?"

Bucky crossed his arms and slumped in his seat, almost sullenly. "What events?" he muttered. Of course, he knew what events; and it didn't really surprise him that they'd want him to debrief with a therapist. He'd debriefed with every other government agency with an alphabet already. But he didn't want to talk about things in front of Sam. He'd been doing a good job pretending he was fine; far as he knew, anyway. He didn't want to give up the game and have Sam figure out the truth. He had enough of his own problems.

Sam arrived at the office dead on time, announcing his presence to the receptionist and waiting until he was told it was time for him to go in.

When he was told he could go into the room, Sam knocked lightly on the door and then entered, glancing towards Bucky as he did so. It didn't surprise him that the other man was looking sullen. This was only the second time he'd seen Bucky with a therapist, but he knew that the other man had a lot of things to deal with. And, yeah, they'd been at odds with each other at first...but he still cared about the other man. If he could help Bucky, he would.

"Hey, Buck." Sam nodded to the other man and then held out a hand to the therapist. "Sam Wilson."

Bucky looked up and reluctantly nodded. "Sam." He was unwilling to ignore the man, even if he wasn't happy at this turn of events.

The therapist introduced himself before asking, "James moved here so he could help you? How are the repairs going?" He tried to leave things as open as possible, so they would actually answer.

"They're almost done... went good, as far as I could see..." Bucky latched onto the topic quickly, hoping to keep focus off himself and what he knew the therapist wanted him to talk about.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. I've got a lot more done with Bucky's help than I would have without him."

The therapist nodded, looking at Bucky. "How did you find the work?"

Bucky blinked uncertainly, sure there was a hidden 'trap' in the question. "It... it was good. Felt good. Was nice... fixing something. Building something...."

"You like that?" He was asked innocently, but he was just as sure it wasn't innocent.

"Why wouldn't I?" He tried not to sound belligerent.

"You have the opportunity to help fix something. To heal," the therapist said. "In complete contrast to what you were made to be. What you were made to do."

Sam glanced at Bucky and asked, his voice soft, "Did you make a start on that list?"

"Yeah. I could fix something instead of destroying it; and it was actually my choice..." Bucky did sound belligerent now, not entirely certain how the therapist repeating his own words and then adding in the negative comparison was meant to help him. He didn't want to think about the negative things. All he did was think on the negative things. And then he heard Sam's question. He looked at Sam, his mouth snapping closed and swallowing hard. He was unable to keep the regret and pain out of his eyes as he answered, "I crossed another name off... Yori Nakajima. I... I told him what really happened to his son. I don't know if it helped him or not. I think it did a little. I haven't been back to see him since, though, so I don't know. I don't think he'd want to see me again...." He sounded resigned and saddened.

"Maybe he won't," Sam said quietly. "But it's also possible that maybe he'd be willing to talk to you. You don't have to speak to him face to face, if you're worried it might hurt him. But maybe you can write him a letter. Give him a way to contact you, if he has questions. Or if he wants to speak with you."

"I... I left him a phone number... if... if he wants to talk. Ask more questions. I... I hurt his family badly. I don't have the right to continue bothering them just to make myself feel better," Bucky whispered.

"I know it's hard, but I think you did a good thing," Sam said quietly. "He knows the truth now. You did the right thing by him."

Bucky nodded. "It... I have many more names like his, people who deserve explanations or apologies. Restitution. But... I can't get close to them. I got close to him and... it hurts. I know I deserve to hurt, but... I can't set myself up like that. I..." He swallowed again, blinking rapidly and staring at the wall to his side, not able to face either Sam or the therapist.

"Do you really deserve to hurt?" the therapist asked gently.

"Of course, I do. After everyone I hurt..." Bucky quickly answered.

"Did you choose to hurt them?" the therapist asked, in the same gentle tone.

Bucky frowned. "No... of course not!"

The therapist smiled faintly. "If Sam accidentally hurt you, or was forced into it and didn't choose to, but still hurt you... would you believe he deserved to hurt?"

"N... Noooo... "Bucky said reluctantly, immediately seeing where the therapist was going with the questions, but not wanting to admit he might be wrong or being too harsh on himself.

"You didn't choose to do those bad things, Bucky," Sam said. "I understand that you feel guilty, but you don't deserve to hurt. You shouldn't hold yourself to a different standard than you would anyone else."

"I... I just don't want to make it worse. If I hurt, it's because of what I did as the Soldier..." Bucky whispered. "My victims didn't do anything to deserve being hurt."

"You are just as much a victim..." the therapist started but could tell that Bucky was withdrawing... closing off. They wouldn't get anywhere else today. "Okay. I think you need time to process before you continue. Wait before moving to another name on your list... instead focus on what you are feeling after this last name." He handed Bucky a different notebook. "Don't assign blame, don't try and decide if you deserve to feel bad or don't... just write out how you feel. How it felt. What you wish would have happened. Get it all on paper."

He turned toward Sam. "Thank you for coming. I realize you don't have the same problems as James, but I do believe you could benefit from weekly sessions as well. Next week, I will see James alone. If you are willing, I'd like to see you at a different time."

Bucky didn't react overtly, but the therapist could tell he was watching and listening closely. Looking to Sam for his cues on how to react.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. I have things I need to take care of, but I can build in weekly sessions around those commitments."

The therapist nodded, smiling. "Thank you. My receptionist can arrange times with both of you."

Sam nodded and glanced at Bucky. "Once we've done that, do you want to grab a coffee?"

Bucky nodded, sadness still lingering around his eyes. "Yeah. That'd be good..." he said quietly.

Sam stood and headed out into the reception area, making his appointment with the receptionist and then stepping back to allow Bucky to do the same.

Bucky had to admit, if only to himself, that having Sam there had made it easier to deal with the therapy. He knew it wasn't fair to the doctor- the man was likely very trustworthy- but after Zemo had tricked everyone by pretending to be a psychiatrist and triggered him, he felt safer having someone who could help him make sure something like that never happened again. Some small part of him was afraid of the Soldier returning, even if he knew he'd been cured.

Sam waited for Bucky and then left the office with the other man. "I scoped out the cafes before I came in. We can get lunch as well, if you'd like."

"Yeah. Sounds good. Breakfast feels like ages ago..." Bucky agreed. His fast metabolism meant he got hungry very quickly sometimes. He followed Sam, slipping his appointment card into his wallet.

Sam headed towards the cafe that he'd liked the look of more; a small diner that was family owned. After checking to make sure Bucky was all right with the place, he headed inside.

Bucky followed quietly, giving the waitress a dimpled smile and a wink, grinning when she blushed pink at his flirting. He noticed that Sam had slid into the side of the booth that faced the door, his back against the wall. He tried to push down his discomfort at having his back to the door- Sam could keep watch as easily as he could- but it wasn't working.

Deciding not to fight himself, he slid into the booth directly next to Sam so they could both face the door... even though the booths were narrow and doing so put him fully into Sam's personal space, crowding Sam and leaving Bucky with enough of his backside hanging off the edge of the booth that one wrong move could land him on the floor. He wiggled, semi-gently elbowing Sam in the ribs. "Scootch over..." he demanded, in a whiny tone, ignoring the fact there was no where for Sam to 'scootch' to.

"Where?" Steve responded. "You're boxing me in." He snorted softly. "Not such a bad feeling, though," he added, his voice pitched low...though he knew that Bucky would hear easily.

Bucky blushed faintly, warmth spreading through him at the comment. "Sorry..." he muttered uncertainly, before admitting, "Don' like my back to the door..." He finally got situated enough that he didn't feel like he'd fall on the floor and stopped wiggling. He was almost on Sam's lap, pressed against him from shoulder to ankle and eating was going to be interesting, they'd be lucky if they didn't end up wearing their food, but he was in the booth, at least.

"Yeah," Sam said, not all that surprised. "Next time, we can look at going somewhere with a bigger booth. Don't mind being pressed this close, but I could do without feeling like we might end up wearing our food. Or falling off."

Bucky bit his lip and gave Sam an abashed look. "Sorry... I... I can sit on the other side." It was obviously making him nervous and it was also obvious he was trying to mentally get himself ready to shift into a position where he couldn't see what was coming.

Sam shook his head. "You don't need to. Just saying for next time." He was already pressed as close to Bucky as it was possible to be, without the other man sitting on his lap, but he wrapped his arm carefully around Bucky; not able to pull him closer, but stopping him from getting up.

Bucky stiffened uncertainly, but quickly relaxed when he realized Sam was okay with him staying next to him. "Yeah... okay..." he said softly.

At that moment, the waitress returned with water and menus. There was a faint hint of disappointment on her face as she saw the way they sat. It was obvious she thought they were a couple.

"Thanks, ma'am..." Bucky's flirtatious smile was back. "What would you recommend from the menu?"

"Thank you." Sam took the menu and the water, taking a sip with his other hand. Bucky hadn't asked him to move his arm, so he kept it in place around the other man's shoulders.

The waitress smiled and recommended the meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

"Huh, I'll have that then, with a side salad. And a piece of that chocolate cake I saw in the display when we came in..." Bucky gave his order. He found the last of his nerves fading as Sam kept his arm in place.

"That's good for me, too," Sam agreed. "I'll take a coffee as well. Thanks."

"It'll be out soon..." the waitress promised, before heading back to the kitchen.

Bucky took a sip of water, leaning into Sam.

"So." Sam cleared his throat, keeping his arm wrapped around Bucky's shoulders. "After we're done here, do you want to come back to my place? We can talk. Or train, if you'd prefer."

Bucky slanted his head, thinking about it. "Sure. Training could be good..." he agreed, with a smile. "Any of those cookies your sister made the other day left?" He gave Sam a hopeful, boyish grin.

Sam smiled. "There're a couple left. I'll have to ask her to make more."

Bucky's grin grew. Just then, their waitress returned with their food, putting it in front of them.

Sam began to eat, removing his arm to make it easier, but still pressed against Bucky. And completely fine and relaxed with it.

Bucky began eating as well, the closeness not bothering him either. He didn't talk much, focusing on his food. It wasn't until he'd finished his main meal, asked for and received a cup of coffee and began to eat the huge slice of chocolate cake the waitress brought him that he said, "Thank you. For coming with me today...."

"I want to support you, Bucky," Sam said seriously. "I don't think you need to go through any of this alone."

"I... I appreciate that. Wasn't sure I'd have anyone in my corner after Stevie..." He paused, leaving his thought unfinished.

Sam nodded in understanding. "Well. You've got me now."

"...You got me too..." Bucky said quietly. Sam likely didn't really need him, but he'd be there for him anyway.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. And that means a lot," he said honestly.

Bucky smiled, finishing his cake. When it was completely eaten and they were waiting for the bill, Bucky gave Sam an amused grin. "You know ... I'd expected you to insist I move... or let you out so you could move. Not stay pressed up against me like I wasn't crowding you or making things difficult."

Sam shrugged and answered honestly. "It wasn't uncomfortable. Actually feels good."

"Really?" Bucky asked skeptically.

"You think I would say that if it wasn't true?" Sam responded. "I would have no problem telling you to move if I was uncomfortable."

Bucky slanted his head in a slight nod and shrug, acknowledging the words as truth. "I know you would. It just... surprised me, is all."

"Why?" The question wasn't accusing or irritated. Sam really wanted to know.

"I crowded you without warning. Left you with very little space to move." Bucky tried to think of the right words to say. It wasn't always easy. He blushed as his words came out hesitant and awkward, but he continued, "And it's obvious what our waitress thought...."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "Which doesn't actually bother me," he admitted.

"Oh.... okay...." Bucky blinked, then grinned again. "What next?" he said, when the pause became a little long.

"Maybe we should talk about things at my place," Sam suggested.

Bucky wrinkled his nose slightly. "Great. More talking..." His eyes were twinkling, though, so it was obvious he was teasing.

"We could do something other than talk," Sam replied, raising his eyebrows.

"Wanna wrestle?" Bucky raised his own eyebrows.

"We could," Sam agreed. "We could also do other stuff."

"Sometimes wrestling leads to other stuff..." Bucky mumbled suggestively, standing up so Sam could get out.

"We can see where it leads to," Sam commented, sliding out of the booth as well.

Bucky smiled. "I took a taxi into the therapist, so can I catch a ride?"

"Of course." Sam paid the bill and then headed out of the diner, walking next to Bucky.

Bucky followed Sam to his car, waiting for him to unlock it before getting in.

Sam unlocked his car and got in, waiting for Bucky to join him and buckle his seatbelt before he started driving.

"Going to work on the boat tomorrow?" Bucky asked, once they were moving.

"That's the plan," Sam replied. "Do you want to join me?"

"Yeah... it's... relaxing. And feels good being useful," Bucky said.

"Sounds good," Sam commented. "You can stay over, if you'd like."

"Your sister won't mind?" Bucky asked. "If not, I should prolly stop at my place for a bag.... get my work clothes."

"She'll be happy for you to stay," Sam replied. "We can swing by your place on the way." He began driving in that direction.

Once they had reached his place, it didn't take Bucky long to pack a bag. He packed enough for several days, just in case they got called on a mission and wouldn't have time to stop at his place again. Soon, they were on their way to Sam's home.

Sam drove to his place and parked just outside, getting out of the car and waiting for Bucky to join him before heading inside.

Bucky got out if the car and grabbed his bag, following Sam.

Sam let both of them inside the house, then closed the door and turned to Bucky. "Wrestle first? Or talk?"

Bucky blinked at that, then laughed in startled amusement. He knew he really didn't want to talk. Then again, he also knew what he'd meant by 'wrestling'. The problem was, he wasn't sure if Sam knew that was what he'd meant. If they were talking about different things.... "Can't believe I'm saying this, but we prolly should talk," he finally answered, with a disgruntled look.

"Doesn't mean we can't wrestle after we talk," Sam commented. "Let's go into the main room. You can help yourself to one of those cookies."

Bucky snorted softly and nodded in agreement, before turning to head to that room. "Where would we wrestle?" he asked as he passed Sam, testing to see if they were even close to being on the same page.

"I was thinking bedroom," Sam answered.

Bucky visibly relaxed at that. He hadn't misread or misunderstood the situation, then. "So... guess this is where we talk expectations... if this is a one time thing or more long term... if it's exclusive or open... who's top...?"

Sam headed into the main room and sat down, gesturing for Bucky to join him. "I'm not looking for a one night stand or one time fling," he said honestly.

"That's good... not sure I'm able to do a one night stand with someone I actually care about..." Bucky admitted. "Friends with benefits wouldn't work... I'd end up wanting more."

"I'm fairly sure I already want more with you," Sam said honestly. "As for who's on top, there's no reason we can't switch it up."

Bucky smiled at that. "Yeah. Switching it up will keep things interesting..." he said quietly. He had a feeling most times, Sam would be top anyway; Bucky was feeling confident at the moment, but a lot of times, he wasn't. Navigating emotions and decisions and life in general often left him feeling out of control and anxious. He knew he relied on Sam a great deal during those times to help direct him. He wouldn't be surprised if that translated into him submitting to his friend and potential lover.

"Is there anything you don't want?" Sam asked. "Anything that you think might make you uncomfortable, or hurt you?"

"I'm willing to try most anything you want...." Bucky paused, before continuing hesitantly, "Well... except tying me up. I don't think I'd handle that well."

Sam nodded. "Tying you up isn't something I'd try anyway. I don't think any kind of restraints would be a good idea. Too much chance of bringing you to a bad place. I don't want that in our relationship."

Bucky nodded, smiling gently at the evidence of Sam caring about him and thinking ahead. "I trust you," he said.

"And if something doesn't feel good, if something brings up bad memories or is otherwise a trigger, for either of us, then neither of us should be afraid to put a stop to it," Sam added.

"Agreed. I could do too much damage if I became too upset and wasn't able to calm down..." Bucky winced.

"You think you can focus enough to just say stop?" Sam asked softly. "Or do you need a separate safeword?"

"If I'm upset, not sure I'd remember a safeword. Stop? I'd remember..." Bucky shrugged uncertainly.

Sam nodded. "Okay. So if anything bothers you, even a little, you say stop and I will. Immediately."

"Okay... you too, right?" Bucky agreed.

"Yeah," Sam replied. "Same expectations for both of us."

Bucky nodded. "Do... uh... did you have anything in mind for what you'd like to do?"

"Nothing specifically right now, except for 'wrestling' and seeing where that takes us," Sam admitted.

Bucky's grin lit up his face. "Wrestlin now?" He leaned toward Sam.

"Wrestling now," Sam agreed, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Bucky's.

Bucky let out a happy sigh, pressing into the kiss.

Sam wrapped his arm around Bucky's waist and gently drew the other man into his lap. He deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into Bucky's mouth.

Bucky wrapped his arms around Sam's shoulders, opening his mouth for the other man. He rubbed his tongue along Sam's sucking gently, tentatively pushing for control, testing.

Sam pulled Bucky tighter against him, gently nipping at his lips, beginning to tug the other man's shirt off.

Bucky groaned at the gentle nipping, shifting so Sam could remove his shirt, then began to tug at Sam's shirt, wanting skin on skin contact.

Sam moved enough so that Bucky could remove his own shirt, then ran his hands over the other man's bare chest and stomach.

Bucky let his own hand run over Sam's chest and shoulder. It was more self-conscious, though. Without his shirt, he felt the ugliness of the loss of his arm more keenly. The scars weren't hidden any longer. The sudden 'shyness' was obvious, as was the way he hunched in on himself and tried to keep the metal arm away from Sam.

Sam gently pulled Bucky closer to him, stroking and squeezing over the other man's body. Both the whole skin and the scars. "You don't need to hide from me," he said softly against Bucky's lips.

Bucky swallowed, his breathing shaky. He trembled at Sam's touch, nearly vibrating whenever the other man touched the scars. "You're gorgeous..." he whispered, the implication he wasn't, clear.

"So are you," Sam murmured. He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to the scars. Touched and stroked other parts of Bucky's body. "They aren't ugly," he murmured. "You aren't ugly."

Bucky quivered, a tiny mewling sound escaping before he was desperately kissing Sam. He didn't believe it- the scars were ugly and reminded him of all he had done wrong- but he knew Sam believed it and somehow, that made it better.

Sam kissed back, deep and hard, hands sliding down over Bucky's shoulders and back. He touched and explored, not even pausing when he reached the other man's pants. Instead, he was pushing those down.

By this point, Bucky had given up any pretense of control. Sam was in charge and Bucky knew it, even if Sam didn't (although it was fairly clear Sam did). He whimpered again, shifting and lifting his hips enough that Sam could bare him. He was grateful he'd worn regular shoes instead of boots, as it made it easier to toe them off and not hinder the progress of removing everything he wore. He continued stroking over Sam's chest and arms, back, not making a move toward removing his pants. Sam was in control this time, so Bucky would wait for directions or permission.

Once Bucky was completely bared, Sam gently bore the other man down onto the couch. He began to press kisses to Bucky's shoulders and chest, his hands covering the same route that his lips took.

Bucky's breathing increased and he allowed himself to continue touching, stroking Sam wherever he could reach. "...Y... you won..." he gasped out softly, the joke an attempt to regain a small amount of control. It was a complete failure. Instead, his submission and acceptance of Sam taking charge came through in his tone, making it an admission instead of a joke.

Sam smiled, taking the words and tone for what they were. "I did," he agreed. "I win." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the hollow of Bucky's throat, allowing his tongue to flick over the pulse point.

Bucky gasped at the action, slanting his head back so his throat was open to whatever Sam wanted. "F... feels like I won..." He whimpered softly.

"We can both win." Sam whispered the words against Bucky's neck, before gently nipping the skin.

Bucky groaned, fingers flexing on Sam's shoulder. His member sprung to attention at the sting of Sam's teeth, the dominant action causing instant arousal.

Sam glided his hands down Bucky's chest, over his stomach, fingers gently closing around the other man's member. He gently nipped again.

Bucky whined as the sting intensified, hips involuntarily thrusting forward, pushing his erection into Sam's hand. "S... Sam..." he begged inarticulately.

Sam gently licked the spot he'd just nipped, beginning to stroke Bucky's erection, firm and sure.

Bucky's breath was shaky and he quivered under Sam, his hips stuttering as he continued to shallowly thrust, unable to help himself, at Sam's mercy and knowing the other man was in complete control.

"You're so beautiful," Sam murmured, beginning to press kisses over Bucky's neck and chest. "Being so good for me." He touched Bucky's member with firmer strokes.

"I... I can be good... good for you... wanna be..." Bucky's voice was breathy, high, needy.

"I know you can be. You are being so good for me." Sam spoke in a low, reassuring tone, as he continued to stroke Bucky's member. "I don't want you to hold back. I want you to let go. Whenever you're ready."

"Y... yessir..." Bucky gasped out. Seconds later, he was shuddering, releasing hard for Sam. When it was over, he lay still, a dazed expression on his face.

Sam wrapped his arms around Bucky, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "Good," he murmured.

Bucky shivered, pressing close to Sam, snuggling. Hesitantly, he reached down, sliding his hand into Sam's pants and beginning to stroke the other man. "Claim me?" he asked, almost shyly, not certain Sam would want that.

"Might have to move to the bedroom for that." Sam's breathing hitched at Bucky's actions. "Got more supplies up there...."

"I'll go wherever you lead me..." Bucky whispered. It was obvious he wasn't just talking about that moment. He nuzzled Sam's shoulder, squeezing the other man's member gently.

Sam moaned softly, but stood up, reaching to help Bucky to stand. He then headed to the bedroom, arm wrapped around Bucky to lead the other man.

Bucky followed, pressing as close as he could without tripping himself or Sam up. He left his clothes behind. The fact he was completely naked and Sam was still half-dressed didn't bother him. It felt right, somehow, that he was vulnerable in that way.

Inside the bedroom, Sam drew Bucky in for a long, deep kiss and then guided him over to the bed, settling them both down before retrieving what he needed from the bedside table.

Bucky returned the kiss, offering up... giving... everything he could. He lay on the bed where Sam placed him, leaving himself as open and vulnerable as possible.

Sam coated his own member with the lube and then settled on the bed, hands resting gently on Bucky's hips. He began to slowly push into the other man, leaning in to kiss Bucky once more.

Bucky widened his legs, raising his knees slightly so that he was more open to Sam. He moaned softly as he felt himself stretch around his lover and returned the kiss, almost feverishly.

Gripping Bucky's hips tighter, Sam began to thrust into the other man. At the same time, he pushed his tongue inside Bucky's mouth; gently nipped at his lips.

Bucky groaned louder at Sam taking such complete control. He opened his mouth wider, accepting Sam's tongue inside him, just as he accepted the other man's shaft inside his body. He felt warm inside, almost giddy, at knowing he now belonged to Sam.

It wasn't long before Sam felt his member growing to full hardness. He freed one hand from one of Bucky's hips, moving it lower to gently grasp the other man's member once more.

Bucky's groan was more guttural, almost whining, as his member was grasped. He pulled away from the kiss long enough to gasp in a breath, before begging, "Harder... please... make me feel it all night...."  He kissed along Sam's jawline, before catching the other man's lips again, opening his mouth and sucking Sam's tongue back in again.

In response to the begging, Sam began to thrust harder and faster. He kissed deeper and harder, fingers gripping Bucky's hip; giving firm strokes to the other man's member.

Bucky felt his own member swelling and hardening again at Sam's stroking. As he got closer and closer to his release, his body tightened around Sam's shaft, pulling him in deeper and seemingly attempting to hold the other man in place.

Sam grunted softly against Bucky's lips, letting out a quiet groan as his release hit him. As the waves of his orgasm rippled through him, his body slumped over Bucky's and he pressed a kiss to the other man's neck.

Bucky shuddered as he felt Sam's release flood him inside, his own release overcoming him at the sensation. His moan of pleasure was long. When his orgasm finally subsided, he went slack under his lover, lethargic and sated.

Content and happy, Sam gently pressed a kiss to Bucky's shoulder. "That felt good. Really good," he murmured.

Bucky grinned goofily, huffing softly. "It did feel really good... I like wrestlin’...."

"Me too." Sam grinned and pressed a kiss to his opposite shoulder. "What would you think if I asked you to move in with me?"

"Give up a one-room flat in the shady part of town for a house with a yard, near the water, with a family I adore and the man I'm falling in love with?" Bucky grinned crookedly. "Why would I want to do that?" His tone was teasing, and he immediately leaned up and caught Sam's lips with his own again, before laying back and looking up at his lover with a besotted look. "Do you really want me to move in with you?"

"I really want you to move in with me." Sam kissed him tenderly. "I'm falling in love with you, too. In fact, I think I'm already there," he said honestly.

Bucky smiled, letting his nose rub against Sam's affectionately. "Can you help me pack up tomorrow? I don't have a lot...."

"Of course." Sam stretched out next to him, wrapping his arms tight around Bucky. "Even if you did have a lot, it wouldn't matter to me."

Bucky snuggled close, laying his head on Sam's shoulder. "Thank you..." he whispered. "...For wanting me to share your home. Means a lot."

"I want you with me," Sam said honestly. "I want us to be together. To share our lives with each other. We've been doing that already."

"Yeah... I know. Just... figured you'd want your space from me..." Bucky said sheepishly.

"I don't need or want space from you, Bucky," Sam said seriously. "Do you want space from me?"

Bucky thought about it. "No... not really. Not used to being around people all the time, though; spent so long alone. I'm afraid if I get moody or something..." He left the rest unsaid. He knew his moods could be bad sometimes and while Sam could most likely handle most of them, if he became obnoxious, would the other man dump him?

"Well, I've already seen a lot of your moods," Sam commented. "Haven't been chased away yet. And I won't be chased away," he promised.

"Even if I get obnoxious?" Bucky asked hesitantly.

"You've already been that." Sam smiled. "It didn't change anything. It hasn't changed anything."

"I wasn't living with you then... but yeah. You've been more than patient..." Bucky admitted quietly.

"I can handle your bad moods," Sam said.

"You already have... I know you can." Bucky smiled and kissed Sam's chest, where his head lay.

Sam stroked his fingers through Bucky's hair, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. "So, since we're together, I don't expect there to be any more flirting with random waitresses." He was teasing, mostly.

"Won't flirt with anyone other than you. Promise," Bucky said seriously. What he and Sam had was special and he wasn't going to risk losing if for something that wasn't necessary.

"Good." Sam stroked his fingers down Bucky's back. "I'm not going to either."

Bucky smiled and snuggled close. "Feels good..." he whispered, the affection Sam was giving making him feel wanted in a way he hadn't felt for as long as he could remember.

"I'm glad. I think you need to feel good." Sam continued the gentle stroking. Not pushing for anything more. He just wanted to give his lover affection.

Bucky sighed happily, his hands gently stroking Sam's arms. He kissed and nuzzled his lover's chest, even as he slowly began to doze, feeling safe enough to nap.

Sam continued to gently stroke Bucky's hair and back, hoping to soothe his lover to sleep.

****

A few hours later, Bucky and Sam had got up and dressed, heading outside to do some training. Bucky was feeling more alert, and happier after the great sex and the nap. The morning's therapy session wasn't bothering him. He threw the shield back to Sam like a frisbee, laughing as his mate had to jump up after it.

"You're having entirely too much fun with that," Sam accused teasingly, as he caught the shield. He threw it back to Bucky, aiming so that it would be a more difficult catch.

Bucky had to lunge after it, but still managed to catch it. "Yeah... you are too, apparently!" He laughed as he threw it again.

"I like training. With you," Sam added. He caught the shield once more and threw it back, laughing softly.

"I like training with you too." Bucky grinned. "We should do this more often."

"We can now," Sam commented. "As we're living together."

Bucky grinned. "Yeah. This is going to be great." He slanted his head. "You think your sister would mind if we trained your nephews to protect themselves? Beginning Karate, or Tai Kwon Do, or something?" he asked hesitantly. "I... given my history... I... just in case...."

"We might have to tag team her on it," Sam answered. "But I think, working together, we'll be able to get her to see the advantages in it."

Bucky nodded again, catching the shield and tossing it once more. "I'd feel a lot better if I knew I wasn't endangering your family more than I already was...."

"It's not you putting them in danger." Sam caught the shield and threw it back. "But you have a point about training them. Being able to protect yourself never hurts."

"Maybe we can talk to her tonight, after the kids are in bed," Bucky suggested quietly.

"Sounds like a plan," Sam agreed.

"Maybe we should go take a shower now, get cleaned up and then we can start making dinner?" Bucky said. "I can make it...."

"Sounds good to me." Sam caught the shield for the final time. "Want to take a shower together?" he asked.

"Yep. That sounds like something I'd like to do..." Bucky teased, letting Sam take lead.

Sam headed into the house, immediately going to the bathroom so they could shower together.

Bucky followed closely on his heels. Soon, they were both standing under the water's spray, bodies pressed tight together as they washed each other.

The End