Because I Love You

Summary: Follows Moments of Peace. Coriolanus, Sejanus and Lucy Gray adjust to life in District 13, living away from the other districts and the Capitol. Coriolanus and Sejanus take care of the first maintenance spanking, after Sejanus admits he's worried he'll do something stupid and dangerous to try and stop the games
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes; AU; references to canonical violence and character death
Pairing: Coriolanus Snow/Sejanus Plinth/Lucy Gray Baird

###

District 13 is nothing like Sejanus expected.

For one thing, there is enough for them to eat. For everyone to eat. Lucy Gray and Coriolanus are able to fill their stomachs as much as they need to. Sejanus eats, but only enough to keep his loved ones from worrying. He can't embrace this in the same way as both Coriolanus and Lucy Gray. When he closes his eyes at night...when he tries to sleep...he can only think of them. All he can see are the tributes. Their faces, as each one of them died. Marcus, beaten and strung up like a criminal...when all he'd wanted to do was escape being forced to kill the others. To kill children.

It was the first thing that Sejanus brought up when they found District 13. And it's what he keeps bringing up. That they need to put a stop to the Hunger Games. They need to rebel against the Capitol and against Doctor Gaul...Dean Highbottom. All of those who bring the games to life and continue to make them a spectacle for the people of Panem to watch. He continues to bring it up, even after he's told that they don't have the numbers or the money yet to make that kind of attack on the Capitol. Does he want to be responsible for so many innocent people in the Capitol dying? That's the argument Coriolanus gives him, every time Sejanus brings it up in his hearing.

Sejanus wants to argue that no one in the Capitol is innocent. They don't speak out against the games, even though they know they're wrong. The games aren't justice, and they aren't punishment. They're nothing more than murder.

But he keeps being told to wait. And every time he's told to wait, he finds himself getting more and more frustrated. More likely to do something he knows he shouldn't...something that Coriolanus will punish him for severely, if he goes through with it.

They haven't talked about maintenance spankings since they left the cabin. Sejanus wonders if Coriolanus has changed his mind about them being necessary...or if he's waiting for Sejanus to bring them up. To ask for them. And maybe he should...even though the idea of asking for a spanking, before he's done anything wrong, is hard to contemplate.

He sits outside the small hut the three of them share. It's smaller than he's used to...and smaller than Coriolanus is used to, he's sure. Lucy Gray seems to take it all in her stride, though. And the small size of the hut means there's very little physical space between the three of them...which Sejanus feels good about, since being close to both Coriolanus and Lucy Gray makes him feel good.

"You look like you're thinking deeply, love." Lucy Gray's voice breaks into his thoughts. "Is there something you'd like to share?"

He looks up at her, smiling as she sits down next to him. "It's the same thing that's been on my mind since we came here," he admits. "The Hunger Games need to stop. If District 13 isn't going to make a stand, who will?"

She watches him, head tilted to one side just like a bird. "I know how you feel. Being in the arena, having to survive...to kill to survive...it changed something in me. Took away something I don't think I'll ever get back." She looks away again, glancing around the tiny area surrounded by small huts. "But there aren't enough people here to make an attack on the Capitol worth anything. Coriolanus nearly died in the bomb that landed. He would have, if I hadn't gone back to save him." She makes eye contact with him again. "Do you really want more lives to be lost in another war that we can't win right now?"

Sejanus looks away, unable to help it. He knows she's right. And he knows that Panem can't withstand another war. But even so.... "Marcus shouldn't have had to die. None of them should have had to die." He flinches at the memory of the serpents Doctor Gaul had released into the arena. He might have only been watching at home, but he'd still seen the horror of it. "She would have killed you as well. You only survived because Coriolanus cheated."

She reaches out and places a hand on his arm, squeezing gently. "No one ever believed I would survive...that I could survive," she says. "Perhaps I couldn't have if Coriolanus hadn't been willing to help me. He saved me, like I saved him. And he saved you, too," she adds, her voice dropping lower. "Even though his method of saving you isn't fun. Or pleasant."

He shifts slightly at the memory. The bruising and welts from the belting have faded by now, but he still remembers how painful it was. How difficult it was to put himself back into position each time. He doesn't enjoy being spanked. The physical pain is bad enough, but he also really hates that getting spanked means he's disappointed Coriolanus; that he's messed up badly enough to hurt the man he loves. "Do you think I need to talk to him?" he asks, his voice small.

"Do you think you'd be likely to do something stupid or dangerous if you don't?" she returns. "Are you likely to try and leave here...go to the Capitol or the Districts if you don't get your way?"

"No." It doesn't come out as sure and certain as he'd intended it to, though. He doesn't think he'd leave District 13, not least because leaving District 13 will mean leaving Coriolanus and Lucy Gray. And that's the last thing he wants to do. "I wouldn't want to leave either of you," he whispers. "Do you think...I should talk to him? Ask him to spank me as a...preventative measure? To stop me doing something that will end up hurting him and you?"

She smiles and leans in to hug him, whispering in his ear, "You don't need me to tell you what to do, love. I think you already know. You just need a little push to get you there."

He swallows and brings his arms up to wrap around her in return. She feels like a warm comfort; a balm to his aching soul. And she's right. He does know what he should be doing. He does know that he needs to speak to Coriolanus. He needs to put himself into the other man's hands. He needs to trust Coriolanus to take care of him when he can't make the right decision for himself.

Lucy Gray pulls back slightly and presses a kiss to his lips. "He went to the lake," she whispers. "I think he's trying to catch some fish. Maybe you can help him?"

In spite of himself, Sejanus chuckles softly. Catching fish has been a bit of an ordeal for Coriolanus, who is used to being able to do everything he sets his mind to...and to do it well. None of them have been able to have fresh fish before coming here, so when someone is able to catch them, it's a nice treat. "I'll go and find him." He doesn't immediately let go of her. Instead, he presses a kiss to her lips and inhales her scent for a few moments, then pushes himself up. "Will you still be here when we come back?"

She smiles and leans back slightly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Sejanus nods and takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders, before he slips between two of the huts and walks past the circle of buildings, heading in the direction of the lake. He knows he shouldn't feel nervous or worried. After all, he loves Coriolanus. But he is about to ask the other man to punish him. Except it won't be an actual punishment. It'll be to prevent him from doing something he shouldn't. So that he doesn't hurt Coriolanus and force him to carry out his threat of a more severe punishment.

That knowledge doesn't make what he's about to ask for any easier, though.

As he reaches the lake, Sejanus sees Coriolanus. The other man's face is creased with concentration as he stands next to the water, rod in hand. He watches the water with a look of intensity before there's the faintest movement in it. Then, abruptly, he pulls back on the rod, yanking the line out of the water with a fish dangling from it.

Sejanus doesn't immediately speak up. He doesn't draw Coriolanus' attention to him. Instead, he watches the other man as Coriolanus reaches down and removes the hook from the fish's mouth, killing it quickly and cleanly before tossing it on the ground with two others.

Coriolanus' hair is growing back fast. It's nearly at the length it was before he was sent to District 12. Apart from his hair, though, he bears very little resemblance to the Coriolanus Snow from the Capitol. He isn't pretending to be rich anymore. He isn't pretending to wear the finest clothing, or that he has plenty to eat. He looks more...human. Real.

It takes Sejanus longer than he would like to realise that Coriolanus is looking at him. He feels a little awkward to have been caught staring at the other man, but then again, he thinks he can be excused that. After all, they're in a relationship. He trusts Coriolanus with everything. He has to, otherwise he'd never accept Coriolanus' control over him. He'd never accept the other man punishing him, even if he could agree that it's necessary.

Coriolanus sets the rod to one side and quickly walks round the side of the lake. When he reaches Sejanus, he draws him in close, kissing him firmly. "I'm glad you're here."

"Here in District 13, or here at the lake?" The kiss leaves Sejanus a little unsteady on his feet and he has to cling onto Coriolanus. Maybe that's what the other man wants, though. For Sejanus to lean on him.

"Both." Coriolanus breathes in deeply. "I caught fish for us. It's taken me longer than I would have liked."

It's another obvious difference, Coriolanus admitting having difficulty in something. Sejanus knows he's been changing; and he can see the changes in Coriolanus. He can't see any changes in Lucy Gray, but then again, he can't really say he knew her before they all came together in District 12.

"I like fish," Sejanus says quietly. "But I like just eating and sharing with you. You and Lucy Gray. Even if we couldn't have fish...." His voice trails off and he breathes in deep, pressing his face into Coriolanus' neck.

The other man is observant. Coriolanus gently pushes Sejanus back to look into his eyes. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing's happened yet." Sejanus hesitates, not sure he wants to admit the truth to Coriolanus. Selfishly, he doesn't want to upset the other man and wants to make Coriolanus happy. But if he says nothing, there's the chance he might do something that will upset Coriolanus even more. "I don't like the fact that District 13 won't move against the Capitol to stop the Hunger Games." He starts off with something 'safe' that Coriolanus already knows about.

"I know." Coriolanus sighs. "But moving against the Capitol...against Doctor Gaul...will be suicide. You never had to face her, but I did. She'll unleash horrors that no one here can fight back against."

This is the hardest part now. Sejanus has to tell Coriolanus that his words aren't enough; that he knows he won't listen to the other man. "I'm sorry." He utters the apology under his breath, unable to look into Coriolanus' eyes. "I'm sorry, because I wish I could just tell you that I'll listen to you. That I'll do what you say and let things progress without trying to do something stupid or dangerous." He breathes in deep, raising his hands to gently grip the front of Coriolanus' shirt. "I know I'm going to do something I shouldn't," he whispers, a miserable note creeping into his voice. "I'm going to do something that will hurt and disappoint you and make it necessary for you to punish me severely. And I don't want that, even if my actions might scream otherwise. So I...." He can't make himself continue. He can't make himself ask for it. All he can do is speak the words...and desperately hope that Coriolanus will understand and will be willing to help him.

Coriolanus' eyes widen a fraction in understanding. He lifts his own hands and gently grasps Sejanus' upper arms. "Sejanus, look at me."

Somewhat unwillingly, Sejanus raises his eyes to look into Coriolanus'. "I'm sorry," he says again, unable to hide his feeling of guilt. Unable to help feeling like he's let the other man down.

Coriolanus just shakes his head. He holds Sejanus' gaze for a few more moments and then turns him round to face the way he came. Putting his mouth close to Sejanus' ear, he whispers, "Go to our hut. Stand in the corner and wait for me." He lets go of Sejanus' shoulder, giving him a gentle swat to propel him forward.

The smack isn't hard. It doesn't really sting, even. But it indicates that Coriolanus is in control and that's exactly where Sejanus wants and needs him to be. He doesn't try to argue or protest. He doesn't try to change Coriolanus' mind. This is what he's asked for, albeit not in so many words. Taking a deep breath, he heads back towards the tiny circle of huts...forcing himself to keep looking in front of him, instead of looking behind him to see where Coriolanus is.

Lucy Gray is sitting exactly where she was before, just as she promised. As Sejanus walks past her and heads into the hut, she stands to follow him inside, gently closing the door behind them both. It's a relief she does so, as Sejanus doesn't think he would have thought to close the door himself.

Now he needs to decide which corner he needs to stand in. They're all identical...but Sejanus wants to be sure that Coriolanus will see him the moment he comes into the hut. He wants to be certain Coriolanus will know that Sejanus is obeying him. And that means choosing a corner where he'll be immediately visible as soon as Coriolanus walks inside.

After a few moments, Sejanus chooses the top right corner. He walks towards it and stands, putting his nose right in the corner.

Lucy Gray doesn't say anything, but she takes up position behind Sejanus...standing like a silent sentinel. He feels himself relaxing further, with her there to watch his back.

He doesn't know how long he stands in the corner for, waiting for Coriolanus to return. Maybe it's only a few minutes...maybe it's an hour. Time seems to move differently while he's stood in the corner. But eventually, he hears the door open and the sound of footsteps entering the hut.

That's when Lucy Gray finally speaks...although she addresses Coriolanus and not Sejanus. "Do you want me to stay while you handle him?"

"If it won't make you uncomfortable." Coriolanus doesn't immediately move over to draw Sejanus out of the corner. Instead, he moves around the small hut, probably preparing the fish ready for cooking.

Sejanus remains in the corner, as he hasn't been directed to leave it. He listens to the sounds of Coriolanus and Lucy Gray moving, and the noises calm and settle him. The two people he loves the most in the world are close enough for him to hear...and close enough to touch, if he wasn't waiting to be handled.

Finally, Coriolanus does move over to his side. He places a hand on Sejanus' shoulder and draws him out of the corner. "Let's get this done," he murmurs, before using his grip on Sejanus' shoulder to guide him through to the other room in the hut: the tiny bedroom with its sleeping mat.

Sejanus swallows, but doesn't balk, as he's guided towards the bed. He follows along willingly...submissively. Truth be told, he'd follow Coriolanus anywhere, so long as they could be together.

Lucy Gray has followed them in and takes a seat on the bed as Coriolanus also sits down. They're sitting close enough that when Sejanus is positioned over Coriolanus' lap, his upper body will be resting on Lucy Gray's. He hesitates, glancing at her, wondering if she really wants to be this involved in the spanking...but all she does is smile reassuringly at him and press a bit closer to Coriolanus.

When Coriolanus pats his lap, Sejanus takes a deep breath and moves round to his side. With Coriolanus' help, he moves forward, positioning himself across the other man's knees and shuffling forward until his bottom is in prominent position to be smacked. His upper body is resting on Lucy Gray's lap and she reaches out, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and kissing his cheek. "You did exactly the right thing and we're really proud of you." She whispers the words in his ear. "We're both here for you, Sejanus. You don't need to be scared."

As if her words are permission for him, he feels his whole body relax into them. Coriolanus rubs his back for a few moments before easing his trousers down, and Sejanus can't help but whimper softly. His stomach drops slightly as a sense of vulnerability fills him...but it doesn't scare him. It could do, easily, but both Coriolanus and Lucy Gray are touching him, and he's able to draw strength from that contact with them. Still, the vulnerability gets even stronger when Coriolanus pulls his underwear down. It's different to the previous punishments, where Coriolanus started with Sejanus' clothing in place. But this isn't about punishment. Sejanus hasn't done anything wrong. This is about stopping him before he does something stupid.

Coriolanus' arm wraps around Sejanus' waist, drawing him in tight against his stomach, and then his hand lands in a firm smack at the centre of Sejanus' backside.

The sting is immediate, though not as strong as the previous spankings. Sejanus breathes in deep and bows his head, pressing into Lucy Gray's hands as the swats continue to land. None of them are very hard on their own, but when Coriolanus begins to smack again from the top, the sting becomes more pronounced. Sejanus can't help but begin shifting in response to the sting. There are no tears in his eyes; but then again, while he does feel very vulnerable, he's not feeling any kind of guilt. He hasn't done anything wrong. But as his bottom turns warm and stinging under the swats, he can't help reacting to the spanking. And it's very different to the punishment spankings he's received so far.

After a few moments, Coriolanus stops the spanking and lets his hand rest on Sejanus' bottom, beginning to rub gently. "I've had to punish you three separate times for putting yourself in danger, Sejanus. Believe me when I say I don't want to have to punish you again, but I will if I have to. I can't lose you. And I won't lose you. So I'll do this every time I need you, even if it's every week, to make sure you stay alive and with me and Lucy Gray." He rubs for a bit longer and then resumes swatting, once more working his way from the crest of Sejanus' bottom down to mid-thigh.

After the brief pause, Sejanus' bottom is a bit more sensitive, and he can't help but gasp as the spanking resumes. Even if it's not an unbearable pain, it's enough to catch his attention. It keeps him focused on the position he's in: laying over the knee of the man he loves, getting his bare bottom smacked because it's the only way Coriolanus can think of to keep him safe and alive. The sting of the smacks isn't unbearable...and they're not enough to bring the first tears springiing to his eyes. What brings the tears forth are the emotions that come from the position he's in...and the fact he knows he's loved and cared for by both Coriolanus and Lucy Gray. He knows they wouldn't do this if they didn't love him.

Coriolanus doesn't speak again as he continues to swat. He doesn't go any faster or harder and makes sure every inch of Sejanus' backside is covered, from the crest down to mid-thigh. Eventually, it reaches a point where Sejanus knows he will feel the effects of the spanking every time he sits down, at least for the rest of the day.

Lucy Gray is stroking his hair and singing quietly to him, even as Coriolanus continues to heat up his backside. Sejanus closes his eyes as the multiple sensations encourage him to surrender entirely to the two of them. His whole body slumps and tears slide out of his eyes.

After a few more moments, the spanking stops. Coriolanus pulls his clothing back into place and then shifts Sejanus enough so that he can settle between both Coriolanus and Lucy Gray, held by both of them, one on either side.

Cuddling in close, Sejanus breathes in deeply as his tears slow and finally come to a stop. He burrows into Coriolanus' shoulder and feels Lucy Gray stroke his hair. "I love you." He whispers the words to both of them.

Lucy Gray kisses his cheek. "We love you too," she whispers back to him. "You did the right thing, Sejanus. I'm proud of you."

Coriolanus' fingers graze Sejanus' chin and he tilts his head up in response, closing his eyes when Coriolanus kisses his lips. He presses in close, giving everything he can to the man he loves; giving everything he can to both of them. "I'm sorry." His voice is rough with emotion.

"No apologies." Coriolanus murmurs the words against his lips. "We're here, together. That's the only thing that's important."

For now, Sejanus allows himself to believe that.

The End