After Borderland

Summary: Set after the end of season two. Arisu and Chishiya both get their memories back. When Arisu plans to confront Niragi, who doesn't remember anything, Chishiya puts action to the promise he made himself
Warning(s): Spanking; major spoilers for seasons one and two of Alice in Borderland; references to canonical violence and character death; AU
Pairing: Chishiya/Arisu
Author's Note: This is a standalone fic, separate from the series I've been writing. Hope you enjoy! I kind of love Alice in Borderland, so I wanted to revisit the fandom and write something new for it

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Chishiya sat quietly as the tests were run, checking that he didn't have any lasting damage from the injuries he'd sustained from the meteorite that had stopped his heart. He'd already had his blood drawn to run tests. Now, the nurse had just finished checking his blood pressure and was in the process of unwrapping the cuff from around his upper arm.

"Do you think we'll be getting out of here any time soon?"

Broken out of his thoughts, Chishiya looked towards Niragi, who had struggled into a sitting position on his own bed. The other man's body was swathed in bandages, keeping the burns that covered so much of his skin protected from exposure.

Chishiya had heard the doctors talking. No one could understand how Niragi had survived. By all accounts, it should have been impossible for the other man to live through his injuries.

But Chishiya was in a unique position. A position different to the others who'd been caught in the meteorite strike...or, rather, that was what he assumed, since no one else he'd seen appeared to recognise him, or give him more than a passing glance when he encountered them.

It seemed as if, out of all of them, Chishiya was the only one who remembered they'd been caught in a world between life and death, where deadly games were played to extend their time in the world. Now that he was awake, in the Tokyo he remembered, it was easy to put together what had happened; the reasons why some people had been in the Borderland so much longer than others. Time moved differently there...and if one person's heart had stopped earlier than another's, it explained why that person would have been there for weeks and perhaps even months.

The Borderland had revealed the worst sides to many of the people he'd seen since waking up in the hospital. And Niragi had been one of the worst, although it was obvious he had no memories of what he'd become and what he'd done.

Those memories lingered in Chishiya's mind. He didn't allow himself to feel guilty, or sorry for what he'd done. What good would those emotions do him? When he'd woken up, before those memories had returned to him, he'd already promised himself to be a better person. Letting himself wallow in guilt wasn't going to change anything, but he could use those experiences from the Borderland to help him fulfil those goals.

He hadn't answered Niragi's question yet and Chishiya realised that fact belatedly. He looked towards Niragi and answered, "It depends on how much of your body has been burned. The higher percentage of body surface area, the longer you'll need to stay for. And if you need any skin transplants, you'll be here for even longer."

"Fuck." Niragi's head fell back against the pillow and he sighed.

"Do you have anywhere else you need to be?" Chishiya allowed himself to be curious. Monsters weren't born, but made by what happened to them. What had happened to Niragi to twist him so viciously in the Borderland?

Niragi didn't answer, instead closing his eyes. He looked pale and drawn, clenching his teeth as a spasm of pain rocked his body.

"He needs more pain relief," Chishiya said to the nurse, as she was preparing to leave the room.

Glancing towards Niragi, she moved over to adjust the IV bag.

It took a few seconds, but Niragi's body relaxed slowly and he sighed, opening his eyes. He looked towards Chishiya, as the nurse walked out of the room, and nodded slightly to him. "Thank you."

"You don't need to be stoic and pretend you don't need relief from pain. You gain nothing by letting yourself suffer."

"Yeah? That something you have experience in?"

Chishiya looked away, taking a few moments before he voiced a response. As he opened his mouth, though, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye.

Arisu was just outside the door.

Chishiya narrowed his eyes, watching the man almost warily. There was something in Arisu's eyes, on his face. It was a look that hadn't been there the few times Chishiya had seen him after they'd left the Borderland, but it was a look that was almost startling in its familiarity. It was a look that Chishiya recognised, as he'd seen the same look on his own face every time he looked in the mirror. It was a knowing, something that left behind a scar that cut deep.

Arisu hardly spared Chishiya a glance. His eyes were focused on Niragi. His face was drawn and there were dark circles under his eyes. He stepped slowly into the room.

Niragi glanced at Arisu and his eyes narrowed in confusion. "Do I know you?"

"Why did you live?" Arisu stepped closer to Niragi's bed. "Why did you live, when so many of the others didn't?" His voice was low, tortured. He didn't even seem to see anything else in the room...only Niragi.

"I was given a second chance at life." Niragi looked at Arisu and shrugged. "I don't know you, but that doesn't really mean anything. You want to take revenge on me for whatever I did to you? Go ahead." He struggled into a sitting position on the bed.

Arisu knew. Chishiya didn't know how he'd regained those memories, or if anyone else had remembered the Borderland. He briefly considered standing by and just letting the events unfold as they were meant to. Once, he would have done exactly that. He would have stood by and watched, having little interest in interfering with something that didn't involve him.

But things were different now. He was different now. So he pushed himself up carefully off the bed and he reached out. He grasped Arisu's upper arm in a firm, tight grip. And he said, quietly, "He doesn't remember."

Arisu's eyes shifted towards Chishiya. They were damp, glistening with tears he was clearly holding back with a supreme effort of will. "Remember what? It wasn't real." There was an odd note in his voice and his breath hitched slightly, as if he might be about to start crying.

Chishiya glanced towards Niragi. "If the nurse comes back, just tell her I've gone to use the restroom."

"Right. Except you're not doing that." Niragi shrugged and leaned back once more, letting his eyes close. "Do whatever you want. I've got your back."

Arisu shifted slightly, almost testing Chishiya's grip, and Chishiya gripped his arm a little tighter. Without a word, he began to lead Arisu out of the hospital room.

"Are you going to tell me I'm suffering from PTSD as well?" Arisu asked. "That I just made up the Borderland as a coping mechanism to deal with the deaths of my two best friends? I've heard it from every doctor here already. I don't need to hear it from you." He pulled at his arm, but Chishiya's grip was firm and after a few seconds of struggling, he gave up.

"You didn't make it up."

Arisu froze, a conflicted look coming over his face. He didn't speak until Chishiya led him inside one of the empty supply closets, closing the door behind them. Then, he spoke. "You remember? You didn't say anything...."

"I didn't remember straight away," Chishiya admitted. "I don't know what brought those memories back, but they're here. You aren't alone, Arisu."

Taking a deep breath, Arisu looked away and down. "Because you're the person I want to remember," he muttered.

"I might not be the person you want to remember, but I'm the only one who does." Chishiya kept his voice calm and almost conversational. He gripped Arisu's arm a little firmer as he added, "Niragi doesn't remember, just like the others who were caught up in the meteor strike. He has a chance to be a better person. But not if you decide you're going to take revenge on him."

"He did so much that was bad in the Borderland." Arisu shifted slightly, staring down at the hand resting on his arm, then up into Chishiya's eyes.

"So did I. So did you. We all did." Chishiya gripped Arisu's arm a little firmer. "We each did what was necessary to survive. Did those actions make some of us evil? Perhaps, especially to anyone who might be on the outside looking in. But everything that was done, every so-called crime we each committed, was enough to bring us back here. It brought us back to life."

Arisu didn't respond immediately with words. He reached out slowly and placed his hand on Chishiya's chest, touching where the bullet had hit him. "Why?"

Chishiya didn't ask what Arisu meant. He looked down, watching as Arisu's hand moved down over his chest and his stomach. The touch was feather-light, and yet seemed to burn through his shirt. When Arisu's hand travelled a bit lower, Chishiya grasped his wrist. "Don't."

"Tell me why."

It was Chishiya's turn to look away. Before the Borderland, it had felt like there was something wrong with him. That he was missing what seemed to come so easily to so many other people. But after meeting Arisu, something had changed in him. It wasn't that he'd changed for Arisu, but that the more time they spent together, the more whatever was broken inside Chishiya healed.

And it had carried over when he'd woken up here. Maybe that was why he remembered, because without those memories, he couldn't remain the person he'd become while in the Borderland. "I told you. I thought I'd do something that was out of character."

"I know that's not true." Arisu took a step closer, moving into Chishiya's personal space. "You were only playing with the intention to survive. To get back to this world. And then you stepped in front of the bullet that was meant for Usagi. You didn't know what would happen when we defeated the face cards. You didn't know if you could survive."

"I've seen people survive fatal wounds before. I saw it in the Borderland, too. Niragi survived his whole body being burned." Chishiya shrugged. "If your will's strong enough, you survive."

Arisu gently pulled his hand free of Chishiya's unresisting grip and reached out once more, letting his hand rest gently on Chishiya's chest once more. "I know that's not the truth."

For a brief second, just a moment, Chishiya let his eyes close. Once again, Arisu's hand was warm, heating his chest even through his shirt. What would it feel like if the other man touched his bare skin? Chishiya had never allowed himself to get physically close to anyone before, but abruptly, he found himself wondering what it would feel like if he touched Arisu in return. What would Arisu's body feel like under his hands?

The want, the desire, was almost frightening. Chishiya released Arisu's arm and took a step back, so that they were no longer touching. "I'm not like you." His voice was a mere whisper. He was the one who'd brought Arisu in here, but it felt like he was the one who was trapped. "This was a mistake."

"Chishiya...." Arisu reached a hand out towards him.

Chishiya hadn't needed anyone. Even in the Borderland, those he'd allied with had merely been tools; a means to an end. He'd never had friends before, let alone someone who could have been more than a friend.

Looking at Arisu now, Chishiya found himself thinking about what would happen if he did have someone who was more than a friend; what it might be like if it was Arisu.

There was silence between them for a few seconds. Then, Arisu moved forward, closer to Chishiya. He reached out, letting his hands gently grasp Chishiya's upper arms. Then, leaning forward, he brushed his mouth against Chishiya's in a light, tentative kiss.

Chishiya froze. There was no other word for it. Arisu's mouth was soft and warm and it tasted...sweet. Like fine wine. Goosebumps prickled over his body as his hand came up to grasp the back of Arisu's head. The other man angled his head slightly, gently pushing his tongue against Chishiya's lips...asking for and receiving entry when Chishiya opened his mouth.

As the kiss deepened, Chishiya felt his body relaxing. He moved his other hand to Arisu's chest, holding onto his shirt...pulling him close enough that their bodies pressed against each other. A soft groan escaped one of them, swallowed by the other's mouth. Chishiya wasn't sure where one of them ended and the other began.

And then reality intruded. He remembered where they were. He remembered what had led to this moment. And slowly, reluctantly, he let go of Arisu. He dropped his hands from the other man's body. And he forced himself to take a step back.

Arisu blinked a few times and focused on Chishiya, his pupils wide and blown. He blinked a few times before his face cleared and he said, "I'm sorry."

"I don't think this is the right place to explore any feelings we might have for each other." Chishiya looked around the supply closet before focusing once more on Arisu. "This isn't why I brought you in here."

"You brought me in here because you're protecting Niragi."

"I'm protecting you." Chishiya took a step closer to Arisu, looking into his eyes. "You can't just confront him. What were you planning to do? Attack him? Kill him? It's not in you to do that, Arisu. You don't need me to tell you that's wrong."

Arisu just shook his head and turned away. "Niragi is a monster. He should have died there. Not...." His voice trailed off, like he didn't know whose life he would save by sacrificing Niragi's. "Why did he come back, when so many others couldn't?" he whispered instead.

Chishiya didn't have an answer; not one he thought Arisu would accept, at least. All he could say was, "The games were about fighting for our lives. Fighting to get back here, to our world. Some people fought harder than others."

"Everyone should have had an equal chance to win the games," Arisu whispered. "But they didn't. Many of the games were rigged so that only one person could survive. Even the games where more than one person lived were designed to kill other players." He shook his head. "How is that fair?"

Chishiya knew he could point out that life wasn't fair. He could say that the games might have been more of a shared hallucination, with their dying brains trying to cling to some semblance of life. Neither of them knew enough about what had happened, especially as none of the others they'd seen remembered their time in the Borderland. He didn't really think that Arisu needed those things pointed out to him. He'd probably developed his own theories about the Borderland, and who was to say what was real and what wasn't? So he didn't say any of the responses that went through his mind. Instead, he said, "Confronting Niragi isn't going to change anything. It won't bring back your friends. It won't bring back any of them who died." He paused, watching Arisu closely, and then said, "If you ignore me and confront him anyway, you won't like the consequences."

Arisu's head jerked up and he stared at Chishiya. "Consequences? Like getting arrested? Niragi fighting back and hurting me?" he asked.

"No." Chishiya was silent for a few moments, trying to decide if he wanted to go through with this or not. Finally, he said, "No. I mean there will be consequences from me."

"What do you mean?"

"If you try to confront Niragi, if you try to hurt him in any way, I will punish you." Chishiya kept his voice calm and level.

Arisu's eyes widened a fraction and he took a slight step back. "Punish me? Punish me how?"

"If you disobey me, I will spank you," Chishiya said. "To be more specific, I will take you across my knee. I will take your pants and underwear down. Then I will spank your bare bottom until I believe you won't do it again."

Arisu flinched visibly at the response. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. After a few moments, he closed it again and just stared at Chishiya. After a moment, he asked, "Why?"

"I wasn't a good person before I entered Borderland," Chishiya answered. "I can blame outside factors, such as the people around me, for the person I became, but that would be the easy way out. I know I need to take responsibility for my own actions. I changed because of the Borderland," he said honestly. "Part of that was meeting you. I won't say I changed because of you...but you being there helped. I care now. I care about other people. I care about you."

Silence fell between them. Finally, Arisu admitted in a low voice, "I'm not going to be able to control myself. The moment I leave here, I'm going to go back to that room. I'm going to confront Niragi."

It was a challenge, or maybe a plea. Chishiya had made a promise...and Arisu was asking him to keep that promise. Without a word, Chishiya moved past Arisu and made sure the door was locked. Then he turned to Arisu. "In most situations, I wouldn't give you a preventative spanking. Most of the time, I believe the threat of one is enough of a deterrent. However, as you've made it clear that you'll confront Niragi despite the fact I told you not to, I am going to give you a spanking now." He didn't give Arisu time to respond before he reached out and grasped the other man's arm. He then sat down on the floor and tugged, pulling Arisu down and over his lap.

Arisu let out a tiny huff of air when his stomach hit Chishiya's thighs. He shifted slightly and muttered, "You're the one who betrayed me. Maybe I should be spanking you."

Chishiya didn't respond with words. Arisu wasn't fighting, or even protesting really. And maybe he had a point about the fact Chishiya had betrayed him. But they weren't talking about what Chishiya had done. This wasn't about his own actions, but what Arisu was intending to do. It was about the fact that Arisu had all but told him what he needed...because if he didn't need this, he wouldn't have told Chishiya that he was going to do exactly what he'd been warned not to.

While he didn't respond to Arisu with words, Chishiya followed through with the promise he'd made the other man. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of Arisu's pants and he eased them down, tugging them past his thighs and leaving them just below his knees. Then, he tugged Arisu's underwear down to join the pants.

It wasn't exactly warm in the supply closet and Chishiya saw goosebumps form on Arisu's naked skin. He placed one hand on the other man's bottom, rubbing it lightly, as he spoke in a quiet voice. "We aren't in the Borderland anymore. I know Niragi did bad things while we were there, but no one was an angel. Everyone had to do something they regretted to survive. You can't tell me that you're proud of every action you took there. I know you better than that."

Arisu shifted slightly and reached back with one hand. He didn't put his hand over his bared bottom, instead holding it against his own back, palm up.

Responding to the action, Chishiya gripped Arisu's hand and squeezed it lightly. He rubbed Arisu's bottom for a moment or two longer, then lifted his hand and brought it down in the first firm smack.

Arisu drew his breath in sharply and tightened his hold on Chishiya's hand. Other than that, he didn't show any reaction.

Chishiya didn't let go of Arisu's hand, even as he continued to deliver firm, hard smacks in random spots all over Arisu's naked backside. He was normally methodical in the way he approached things, but he knew Arisu well. A pattern the other man could figure out would allow him to predict where and when the next swat would fall, allowing him to prepare for each smack. If he did that, it would take longer for him to reach the point he needed to...and Chishiya wasn't interested in dragging this out any longer than he needed to.

By the time Chishiya paused, Arisu was shifting over his lap and obviously making a concious effort to bite back any sounds he might have made. His bottom was also warm to the touch, and Chishiya could feel it every time his hand connected to bare skin.

Letting his hand come to rest on Arisu's backside, Chishiya rubbed gently, soothing a little, as he spoke. "I understand why you're angry. I understand you're hurting. But we've left the Borderland behind. We might still remember it, but we're the only ones. If you confront Niragi, he isn't going to know why you're angry with him. He'll retaliate, which will likely end with you getting hurt." A slightly hoarse note crept into his voice at that thought. "I won't let that happen. Do you understand?"

"I...but...."

"I don't want to hear any buts, Arisu. A simple yes or no. Do you understand?"

Arisu said nothing.

Holding back a sigh, Chishiya lifted his hand once more and brought it down in a smack that was harder than the previous ones he'd been giving out.

Arisu yelped, giving the hand Chishiya held a tug. When he couldn't free that hand and Chishiya delivered another smack, just as hard as the last, Arisu threw his other hand back, covering his bottom.

"Move your hand."

"Stop spanking me." Arisu's breath hitched in the first sob.

"I warned you what would happen. You chose to test me anyway, despite that warning." Chishiya didn't tell Arisu to move his hand again. Instead, he moved his hand a bit lower and began to focus sharper swats to Arisu's thighs.

Yelping loudly, Arisu pulled his hand away. "Please," he sobbed out.

"Arisu. I need to know you understand. I need to know you won't try to confront Niragi. I need to know you won't do something that will get you hurt, or maybe even killed. I won't let you get lost, Arisu. Not again. You need to understand that." Once again, his voice grew hoarse...pained. He'd always pushed his feelngs down, so deep that he never really knew they were there.

But they weren't hidden anymore. His feelings weren't pushed down any longer. And the strongest emotion, the one closest to the surface, was fear. Fear that Arisu might get himself killed...and this time, he wouldn't get a chance to fight for his life in the Borderland. "I need you to promise me, Arisu. Promise me that you won't do something stupid, or dangerous, that could get you killed." His own voice hitched.

Arisu's body stilled and he let out a tiny whimper before his body slumped. "I'm sorry." His voice broke as he began to cry audibly.

Breathing in deeply, Chishiya stopped spanking. He kept his hand on Arisu's bottom, rubbing lightly, until the other man's tears began to die down. Then, he carefully pulled Arisu's clothing back into place and moved his hand to the other man's shoulder, squeezing lightly before helping him to stand and then standing himself.

Arisu rubbed at his eyes and took in a deep breath. "Ouch," he muttered, moving his hands back to rub gingerly at his bottom.

Chishiya still had his hand on Arisu's shoulder and he squeezed it again. "We might not be in the same danger we were in the Borderland, but there's still danger here in this world. Maybe dying here will bring us back there. Maybe. But who knows how things would change if we ever did end up there?"

"We?" Arisu raised his head to meet Chishiya's eyes.

Chishiya allowed a tiny smile to touch his lips. "Do you think I'd let you go back there without me? You'd need me. You wouldn't be able to survive alone."

Arisu opened his mouth, as if he was going to protest, but then closed it again. After a brief pause, he said, "Maybe you're right. I guess you'd do this again even in the Borderland, if you thought it was necessary."

It was probably a rhetorical question, but Chishiya nodded anyway. "If your behaviour calls for it, then it won't matter where we are. The only concession I'll make is that if there are other people around, I'll take care of things in private. But only if you don't push me to handle your behaviour there and then."

There was a brief pause, as if Arisu was trying to decide how he felt about that promise, but then he finally nodded. "Does this work both ways? Our relationship," he confirmed. "You take me in hand when it's necessary...but I do the same to you when it's needed?"

"Of course. I don't believe one of us should be exempt from the rules." Chishiya frowned as he thought about what Arisu had said. Their relationship. Was he just talking about their friendship? Or the discipline part of it? Since he didn't know for sure, he decided to ask. "What kind of relationship do we have?"

"Well, I'm attracted to you. I have feelings for you. I think you have similar feelings for me too." For a brief moment, he faltered as he asked, "Am I wrong?"

If he closed his eyes, Chishiya could still taste Arisu's lips on his own. He could still feel the other man's body pressed against his, like Arisu's body heat had left a brand. "No," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "You aren't wrong."

The smile Arisu gave lit up his face, and the next moment, he was moving forward, wrapping his arms around Chishiya and hugging tight. "Thank you. And I'm sorry," he whispered.

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Chishiya raised his own arms and wrapped them tightly around Arisu in return. He breathed in deep as the other man's body warmed him once more and whispered, "You're welcome. I know you're sorry. I forgive you."

This time, when Arisu raised his head and pressed his lips against Chishiya's, Chishiya didn't pull away. He returned the kiss, pouring everything he couldn't say into the other man and hoping that Arisu would understand, even if it was only a little.

If this was a mistake, he would deal with the consequences when they arose.

The End