Actions Affecting Others

Summary: Follows Good People. Tag to the season two episode Blood Money. Cho isn't happy that Jane's actions have affected the team, and especially Lisbon, so he makes his displeasure known
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers up to and including the season two episode Blood Money of The Mentalist; AU; references to canon violence and character death; references to murder cases
Pairing: Kimball Cho/Patrick Jane (slow burn)

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Cho was upset with him.

Jane could read the other man pretty well. To be honest, even despite Cho acting stoic most of the time, Jane had always found him easy to read...even before the other man had stepped in and taken a more hands-on approach with him. So it was really easy for him to tell that Cho wasn't happy, even before Jane had 'accidentally' bumped into Sylvan and ended up with a fistful of sand and a couple of buttons.

Cho had walked out of the coffee shop, heading towards his car, and Jane quickly hurried his steps to catch up with the other man. "Okay, Cho, I get it," he said, in what he thought was a placating tone. "You're mad at me because my actions got Lisbon put on suspension. You know I never intended to hurt her."

"Really?" Cho paused by the driver's door of his car and turned to Jane, raising his eyebrows as a note of frustration crept into his voice "Hightower warned you that Lisbon would suffer for what you did. You're basically untouchable, but the same isn't true for Lisbon. Or the rest of us." He shook his head and turned away, opening the car door. "I shouldn't be surprised. I know you only care about getting your revenge. You only care about Red John. It doesn't matter who gets in the way."

Jane flinched. He couldn't help it. "That's what you think of me?" How had he not seen that? He was good at reading people. Okay, he'd been able to tell that Cho was angry with him...angry and hurt. It had never occurred to him that the other man thought Jane considered them to be expendable.

He needed to make sure Cho understood otherwise. He didn't know what Lisbon thought. She always seemed resigned to his actions causing problems for her. But then again, this was the first time his actions had caused her to get suspended. "I didn't mean to." His voice was soft, barely above a whisper. Cho's obvious hurt and distrust of him had cut deeper than he'd ever thought possible. He didn't know if there was any way to change how Cho thought, but maybe if he submitted to the other man...even if he couldn't let himself act on the attraction he felt for Cho.... "I didn't mean to...but I know that doesn't change anything. It doesn't mean anything," he said. "If it'll help you see how sorry I really am, then maybe we should go back to your place and you can...demonstrate just how upset with me you really are?" He couldn't bring himself to say the word spanking, but that was what he was referring to.

Cho stared at him for a few long seconds before he shook his head, focusing on the car instead of on Jane. "I'm tempted," he said finally. "But I'm not sure it'll do any good. You haven't changed your behaviour, after all. Not really."

"That's not true," Jane protested.

"Oh, you'll change your behaviour for a short time. At least until the effects of the spanking have worn off. And then you'll go right back to the same kind of actions that'll risk getting you killed. So tell me, Jane. What's going to stick? What's going to make you care enough to actually change how you do things?" Cho asked directly.

Jane's first thought, his first instinct, was to say that Cho had it all wrong. The spankings did work. But if he started looking at it from Cho's perspective, he could see why the other man didn't believe that his punishments were having an effect.

But he'd be wrong. Jane might not have been acting like the spankings had an effect, but they'd caused him to start thinking more about his behaviour. He might have continued to act dangerously...but he had changed his behaviour based on, if not the spankings themselves, Cho's expectations of him. "They did work," he said finally. "They do work. Maybe it doesn't look like they do on the outside, but I haven't been doing the dangerous things that immediately come into my head. I've thought about doing them...thought about them a lot," he admitted. "But I know you'd be disappointed and upset with me. So I've made the effort to curb my actions." He didn't say for your sake. He couldn't bring himself to admit that much to Cho, not knowing he couldn't act on his feelings towards the other man.

He wasn't in the right frame of mind yet to act on how he felt.

"What about Lisbon?" Cho asked.

"I did what I always do," Jane said. "I don't know why they thought to look at me. Believe me, I wouldn't have done something I thought could negatively affect Lisbon."

"So long as it doesn't interfere in your quest for vengeance against Red John." Cho got into the car.

Jane quickly got in the passenger side and buckled himself in. "That's not true," he said firmly. "I wouldn't do anything to put her in danger. Or to put you in danger," he added. "I know you're upset with me, so let's go back to your apartment. Get my punishment out of the way, so we can move past this and focus on finding Sylvan and whoever hired him."

"We should go back to headquarters. Keep digging into Sylvan and anyone he had contact with. Build a case that won't get thrown out of court." Cho put the car into gear and began driving.

"So even though you think we should go back to the CBI headquarters, we're not heading there, right?" Jane asked. "We're going back to your apartment. So you can...talk to me about what I've done."

Cho didn't deny it. Instead, he commented, "I'm curious. You have no shame. No embarrassment. Talking about me spanking you isn't something you should feel ashamed about, especially when it's just the two of us. So why can't you bring yourself to say the word? Why dance around it?"

Jane was silent for a few moments, just watching the scenery as it moved past the window. It took him a little while to be able to gather his thoughts; to find the right words to explain what was going through his mind. "I guess maybe it's difficult to think that, at my age, I have someone deciding my behaviour is worthy of physical punishment, worthy of a spanking. Plus, there's all this...you know." He waved a hand between them. "Feels like we shouldn't be headed back to your apartment so that you can spank me, but for doing other things."

"It's not the right time for other things."

"Yeah." Jane sighed and leaned his head back against the headrest, closing his eyes briefly. Cho wasn't wrong, of course. Jane wasn't in the right headspace to act on the attraction he felt towards Cho. If he let himself follow those kinds of instincts, he'd have to pull back eventually. And that wouldn't be fair to either of them. At best, they'd turn into another Rigsby and Van Pelt. At worst, if he let himself reach for Cho, the other man would be snatched away from him.

Just like everything else Jane had let himself love in his life.

Neither of them said anything during the drive to Cho's apartment. Jane hadn't been there since the last time Cho had spanked him; since he'd spent the night at the other man's place. And it had been a more peaceful rest than the ones he normally had back in his own place. He couldn't help wondering if he might be able to talk Cho into letting him stay the night in his apartment more often. It would be kind of like a sleepover...not that he'd ever had one of those, even when he'd been a child.

The car coming to a stop as Cho parked outside his apartment drew Jane out of his thoughts. He blinked a few times, focusing on the building outside before he undid his seatbelt and got out of the car. He waited for Cho to get out as well, then followed the other man to the front door. Once Cho unlocked it, he then followed him into the building.

"I'll take your word that what I've been doing has an actual effect on you," Cho said, as he led the way into the main room. "But I think I need a way of making sure the spanking actually sticks in your mind. Something that will give you an incentive to pay attention to what I tell you to do...or not to do."

"And just to make sure, that means no dangerous, unnecessary behaviour," Jane said. "As well as no actions that might hurt one of you. For what it's worth...that was never my attention." His voice dropped as a feeling of guilt stabbed through him. Lisbon wouldn't lose her job; she was far too good a cop for that. But because of him, she was on suspension. He might not have endangered himself, or anyone else, but his actions had still harmed Lisbon, still harmed someone he cared about. To be honest, he felt guilty about it, which was why he was here with Cho right now.

After only a brief glance around, Jane moved his hand towards his pants. He undid the button and the zip, then glanced towards Cho and waited.

Without a word, Cho walked over to the sofa and took a seat. Then, locking eyes with Jane, he simply patted his thigh.

It was different to the way the last two spankings had been delivered; not by much, but a little. Cho wasn't just asking Jane to submit. He was asking Jane to take a more active role in his own punishment. Maybe he thought that, by doing so, this would stick more in Jane's mind for next time.

Breathing in deeply, Jane walked over to Cho's side. Before he could bend over and put himself in position, though, Cho placed a hand on his arm and said, quietly, "Take your pants down. Underwear too."

Jane made eye contact with Cho, looking searchingly into his eyes for a few moments, before he finally nodded. He didn't speak as he pushed his pants down, quickly following them with his boxers. Then, slowly, he shuffled forward until he could bend at the waist, positioning himself across Cho's thighs.

Despite what was about to happen, there was something comforting and almost safe about the position he was now in. Cho's thighs were a solid, comforting weight under his stomach...supporting him in his position. And when he put a hand behind his back and it was grasped in a gentle yet firm grip, he felt himself relaxing even more...in spite of the position he was in. "I'm sorry." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, surprised to find his vision was already blurred with the beginnings of tears.

"I hope you really are sorry," Cho said. "Because if you are, it means there's a good chance you'll care enough to actually change your behaviour. Without me needing to do this again." As he spoke, his hand was resting on Jane's lower back, pushing his shirt up to rub bare skin. With the last word he spoke, that hand lifted from Jane's back.

Jane tensed up automatically, even though he knew it would hurt more on clenched skin. He breathed out heavily when Cho's hand landed on his bare bottom. He might have been in this position before, but the first swat still took him by surprise with how strong it was.

The next several swats landed without a break or pause in the pattern. Jane couldn't help reacting...and he didn't even try to stop his body from reacting to the swats. When Cho's hand landed on a particularly sensitive spot, he let himself gasp or moan. When his legs wanted to kick or jerk, he didn't try to stop them. And his hand gripped Cho's tightly, taking comfort from the other man's touch.

"You're good at what you do, Jane. You're very good at it," Cho said, as he completed a circuit of swats and began a second. "But I think you often forget that there are other people around you. People you can hurt, even if it isn't intentional. This isn't the first time Lisbon has been affected by your actions."

"You're right." Jane's breathing hitched as the sting in his backside built up rapidly to a burn. It felt like he'd sat down in fire...and it didn't take long before he began squirming almost uncontrollably. "I can say I didn't mean it...but I don't always think about the consequences of my actions," he admitted, his voice becoming more strained and high-pitched the longer the spanking went on for. "But...you're also wrong...!" he managed to get out.

Cho paused, his hand coming to rest on Jane's heated backside. "What am I wrong about?"

"That I don't care." It was easier to gather his thoughts together, now that Cho was no longer spanking him. His bottom ached, almost unbearably so, but the constant swatting had made it difficult to pull his thoughts together. Now that the spanking had paused (he doubted the punishment had stopped), it was easier to pull his thoughts together and make them into words. "I do care. I care about all of you. I'd never want to hurt any of you. And I'm sorry that I did. I'm sorry I hurt Lisbon by getting her suspended. If I thought that would be a consequence of my actions, I never would have done what I did." He swallowed hard, hoping that Cho would not only hear, but believe the sincerity in his voice.

"Okay." Cho's voice was calm. "I believe you. But that doesn't change what you did. It doesn't change that your actions affected Lisbon. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't think about how your actions could affect everyone else. You say you care about us, and I'm choosing to believe that. Even when your actions sometimes make it hard to trust we're not just tools and pawns in your games."

Jane blinked, startled to find the tears in his eyes were trickling down his cheeks. He gently squeezed Cho's hand and allowed his body to slump over the other man's lap. It was the only thing he could think of to show Cho he was truly sorry...and that he was submitting to the punishment. "I do care about you," he whispered. He could have said that he cared about all of them...and that was true. But he truly cared about Cho. Even if he couldn't act on those feelings...that didn't make them any less true.

"Okay." Cho's response was given simply. His voice was soft...a stark contrast to the hard, sharp swats he began to deliver once more, focusing more to Jane's sit spots and the tops of his thighs.

Jane would have thought that the spanking would hurt at least marginally less, if he was submitting to it. But somehow, that brief pause made the swats hurt even worse...and even as he tried to keep his body limp and submissive, it had other ideas and he was quickly squirming and wriggling over Cho's lap, more tears falling down his cheeks as a sob caught in his throat.

Cho finished with a final few smacks to Jane's sit spots and thighs, harder than the previous, and then stopped. He didn't immediately pull Jane's clothing back into place, though. Instead, he let his hand rest on Jane's bottom, rubbing it, as he said quietly, "You need to think about the consequences of your actions. With the way you're doing things, you're going to end up getting someone seriously hurt, if not outright killed. Do you understand?"

It took a few moments for Jane to find his voice, but he was finally able to whisper, "I understand." Cho's hands were comforting and warm on his bare skin, and he felt himself slipping slightly, relaxing into the touch. "I'm sorry," he offered again.

"Yeah. I believe you." Cho rubbed for a few more moments, then pulled his clothing back into place and helped him to stand.

This time, Jane didn't wait for the other man to reach out first. Instead, he turned and wrapped his arms around Cho in a tight hug, pressing in close and breathing in deeply. "Thank you," he whispered.

"All I ask is that you think about the consequences of your actions...and actually take those thoughts on board," Cho said, wrapping his own arms tight around Jane in return. "Okay?"

"Okay," Jane agreed, allowing himself to relax into Cho's embrace. The other man was warm and comforting. Jane knew that he could pull away...knew that he probably should pull away...but somehow, it was difficult to force himself to take that necessary step back.

Cho didn't pull away, or say anything. Instead, he kept his arms around Jane, gently rubbing one hand up and down his back. His breathing was deep and even...calm, like he was exactly where he wanted to be and had nowhere else to be.

Except there was somewhere they both had to be. And Cho's hands slowed and then stopped before he whispered, "That sand you got from Sylvan's pocket. It's river sand."

"Huh." Jane pulled back and gave Cho a grin, feeling a sense of gratitude that the other man didn't push further than Jane was prepared to go. He couldn't say words to that effect, though. Instead, he said, "Good catch. You've obviously picked up a few things from me." He stepped back, reaching behind to give his bottom a rub before asking, "Shall we go see what we can find?"

The End