A Clean Slate

Summary: Dick stops Jason from leaving and offers him a way to start over
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers up to and including season three of Titans; AU; references to violence and canon character death

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“You don’t have to leave.”

Jason paused by the front door, in the process of reaching for the handle. Staring at his way out; at the door that, once he went through, would mean he could never return. He’d walked away once already, but doing so now carried a feeling of finality that hadn’t been there before.

“There’s nothing for me here now, Dick.” Jason addressed his response to the door. His hand was on the handle, but he couldn’t force himself to take that final step. He couldn’t force himself to walk out of the door and never look back. Not yet.

“If that was true, you never would have come back here.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jason saw Dick move to his side, standing at his shoulder. He tensed up, but didn’t move away. “I don’t know what you want from me,” he muttered.

“I want to make sure you don’t make this life-changing decision with guilt and grief clouding your mind.” Dick took a step closer to Jason; close enough to touch, if either of them shifted in the right direction.

Jason half-turned, so that he could see Dick and still keep the door within his sight. “Why do you even care? You said it yourself. I’ll never be a Titan again.” He swallowed past the sudden lump that had formed in his throat. “How could you ever trust me again?” he whispered. Moisture welled in his eyes and he angrily dashed the back of his hand against them.

Warm arms wrapped around Jason as Dick embraced him. He stiffened at the touch, but there was a tiny part of him that still remembered being that hurt child who’d only wanted a family. To be accepted and cared about, not pushed away or treated as an afterthought. He’d assumed he was nothing more than a replacement for Dick; that Bruce had always preferred his first Robin. And even though Bruce had apologised to him, Jason wasn’t sure he’d ever stop feeling like he was second-best.

But Dick had never had a brother before Jason had come along.

“I’m glad you came back, Jason,” Dick whispered. “My brother.”

The tears that had welled in his eyes now fell. Jason hid his face against Dick’s shoulder and whispered, “I killed Hank.” Hawk wasn’t the only one he’d murdered, of course. But he was the one Jason felt the most guilt about.

“Yeah,” Dick replied. “But you weren’t entirely in control of your own actions.”

“It doesn’t make a difference.” Jason took a deep breath, forcing the tears back down and inside, and stepped back, out of Dick’s arms. “I don’t belong with the Titans.”

“But you belong in my family,” Dick said.

“I don’t deserve it.”

“Jason.” Dick held a hand out to him. “Let me help you get past the worst of this guilt and help you see things with a clearer head.” His voice was low. Compassionate. Caring.

Jason looked at Dick’s hand, stretched out towards him. He had no idea what Dick planned to do; how his brother intended to help him. They’d both shared so many experiences, but they weren’t the same. He looked up to Dick, even though he’d given the older man grief; even though he’d been jealous of Dick and believed that Bruce preferred him.

Dick was asking Jason to trust him. And Jason found it hard to trust anyone, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to. He looked at Dick’s hand and slowly reached out and took it.

Dick didn’t say anything, instead leading Jason over to one of the chairs that was still standing amongst the smashed furniture.

Jason looked around slowly, letting himself be led. “This is gonna take a hell of a long time to clean up.”

“Yeah.” Dick sat down on the chair and guided Jason round to his side. He still held Jason’s hand as he made eye contact and said, “I’m going to spank you, little brother. It’ll hurt and it’ll break you down emotionally. But it will help you to get past this guilt and grief.” He squeezed Jason’s hand. “I think it will help, but I won’t force you into it. And if you think it’s a bad idea, I’ll figure something else out.”

Jason bit his lip, glancing at Dick’s lap and then up at his brother’s face. “I’ve never….” He took a deep breath. “No one ever spanked me before.” He didn’t say what tended to be done when he screwed up. His history wasn’t one he liked to talk about. He didn’t want pity. He didn’t want anyone to look at him differently.

Dick didn’t say anything and didn’t let go of Jason’s hand. He just sat there and waited.

“What happens…after?” Jason couldn’t help the uncertain hitch in his voice. “You don’t want me to leave. You want me to stay? Here?”

“I want you to stay with me,” Dick replied. “But that doesn’t have to be here. We can get an apartment together, if you don’t want to return to the Titans base with me.”

Jason nodded slowly and shuffled forward, bending at the knees to lower himself over Dick’s lap. He felt his brother’s knees pressing against his stomach. He shifted a little and took in a deep breath, forcing himself to relax and accept what Dick planned to do.

The first smack on the seat of his pants made Jason jump. It didn’t really hurt, but it took him by surprise. Dick was still holding his hand and Jason gripped it tightly, forcing himself to breathe as more smacks landed, covering the entirety of his backside down to mid-thigh.

When the spanking began again from the top, Jason couldn’t help but begin to squirm; to shift in reaction to the sting. Once again, tears welled up in his eyes. He didn’t fight them falling. He’d spent a lot of his life fighting, whether physically or emotionally. And he’d become the very thing he was supposed to be fighting against.

The dull sounds of Dick spanking him and Jason’s quiet gasps and whimpers filled the room. Tears began to run down his cheeks and he sniffled, choking on a sob as he said, “I’m sorry.”

“I know, little brother.” Dick rubbed Jason’s back for a few moments and then tugged his pants down, beginning to swat over his underwear. “I know you’re sorry. I know that things were difficult for you, especially after you came back. I forgive you.”

The swats over his underwear stung a bit more, but the quiet words of understanding made Jason begin to sob harder. He slumped limp over Dick’s lap, over his big brother’s lap, and accepted the correction.

After a few more smacks, Dick stopped and Jason felt his pants pulled back into place. He was helped up and once again found himself in a tight embrace.

Taking a deep breath, Jason wrapped his arms around Dick tightly in return. He’d been so confused and lost since dying and being brought back and it had made him do monstrous things. He didn’t know if staying was the right thing to do…but he was now willing to give his relationship with his brother a chance.

The End